No Sugar Added (323 reviews)
Naked 100% Juice Smoothie Mighty Mango
Remember when Andy Kaufman went up on stage and awkwardly acted out the Mighty Mouse song, well just the “Here I come to save the day!” part. That was hysterical. If the man were still alive, hurting for money and forced to do product endorsement, I would hope that he would back Naked Juice. I mean if you gotta sell yourself for the man, you might as well back a product that is actually great, and not hurting anyone. Hell, even with him dead his estate could sell his rights to them. I don’t think Naked actually makes commercials, but I can see it now. It could be the original footage of the Mighty Mouse bit, except instead of taking a drink of water they could edit in a bottle of Naked and at the end the screen would say, “Naked’s Mighty Mango: It’s here to save the day.” Marketing genius right here.
Nothing in that ad would be a lie either. Whenever I feel myself getting the old scratch in my throat that is a telltale sign that sickness is on it’s way, I get myself a large bottle of this stuff and just pound it. More likely than not the sickness will pass and I will be just fine in a day. It’s essentially a mango puree with a bit of orange flavor to it. Sure there is also apple and banana juice in here, but you can’t taste them at all. There is so much vitamin C in here that it could fight off an army on oncoming illness, just like a little mouse…wearing a cape.
- Website
- http://www.nakedjuice.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/21/2012
- Comments
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Martinelli's Sparkling Red Grape
For straight edge kids such as us, sparkling grape juice is like champagne. No it's not as expensive, but it's what we buy when we want a fancy drink. I'm used to the big bottles of this, and had never seen it in a single serving bottle before. To the untrained eye, I almost thought this was a wine cooler on the shelf.
I've had some sparkling juices that are more sparkle than juice, but this is not the case with this bottle. The grape juice is really good and has the perfect amount of carbonation. It has a bit of a thick aftertaste, but most likely due to the grape concentrate the drink is made with. I probably should have saved this for New Years, but I prefer the big bottles because they are good for sharing. This serving size is like a personal drink for a fancy dinner.
- Website
- http://www.martinellis.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 12/11/2012
- Comments
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Polar Mint Chocolate
What a year! I went from not liking seltzer to scouring local grocery stores for good ones. I guess I was used to the swill my mom used to drink but this stuff has been good thus far. The cinnamon was awesome. The black cherry, less than awesome but still good. This was good. Right where I wanted it and just want I wanted: a little bit of mint and a little bit of chocolate. If anyone is familiar with Metromint Chocolate Mint, this is a sparkling, toned down version of that. I love that. I like this. For something that I put on my desk next to all day and polished off slowly, though, I liked it a lot and will get it again.
Mom, if you're reading this. You know I don't like your garbage seltzers. Perhaps for Christmas, if you're good, I'll buy you the good, top shelf stuff. I will also help you throw your old stuff in the yard and let the neighborhood dogs at it.
- Website
- http://www.polarbev.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Seltzer
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/11/2012
- Comments
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Oriental Leaves Jasmine Tea
Would you just look at that bottle? Is that the classiest looking bottle of iced tea you have ever seen, or what? It’s just a normal plastic bottle, but the shape and the cleanness of the design make it look much greater than it is. Little kids would look at this and think to themselves, “That looks like it is for grownups. I bet it burns like grandpappy’s juice.” I assure you the contents of this bottle are nothing like your grandfathers private stock, well unless your grandfather is a collector of fine teas. Those kids were right though. I bet if you gave this to 100 kids maybe 2 or 3 of them would enjoy it. It’s an unsweetened jasmine green tea, so it’s slightly bitter and tastes of flowers; two flavors kids tend to not like. It is what I like though. The jasmine flavor is just right. It’s not overpowering like some of Oriental Leaves’ competitors drinks are. This just hints at the floral and lets the green tea do most of the work. It’s tastes like a dream, and it makes me feel like more of a grown up than I will ever actually be. Oh, did I mention that I’m 33 and I spent more than 60 hours over the past two weeks playing Final Fantasy X? That’s right I spent more time playing a video game than most people work in a week. At least I get to pretend to be an adult sometimes.
- Country
- China
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/10/2012
- Comments
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Tropicana 100% Juice Strawberry Kiwi
Have we, The Thirsty Dudes, reached a level of respect and admiration in the beverage world that we can start demanding things? I don’t mean demand people send us stuff, although it is nice when they do. I mean demand that drinks be named/labeled in certain ways. For example if a juice drink, such as this one has four or more different types of fruit juice listed in its ingredients that it must, under Thirsty Law, be labeled as a fruit punch. I will give the companies a little bit on leniency, in that they are allowed one fruit over those in the name of the flavor. I know certain fruits are expensive and using apple or grape juice to stretch out the juice is more cost effective. Anything more than that, will hereby be known as fruit punch.
The drink that I am currently sipping on will now be known as “Strawberry Kiwi Fruit Punch.” It’s that easy. You see the top three fruits listed in the ingredients are apple, grape and pineapple, yet none of them are in the name. While I do enjoy this juice (especially since there is no added sugar) it by no means tastes like someone mashed a bunch of strawberries and kiwis together. That is a drink that would probably be costly, yet would totally be worth that cost. I’m drooling just thinking about it. This tastes like a fruit punch that has a slight kiwi aftertaste. I want to say that you can taste the strawberries in every sip, but the flavor I’m singling out doesn’t taste like biting into a piece of red, juicy fruit. It is just a flavor that companies have programmed my brain to process as strawberry.
So there you have it. I have pounded my gavel and the first Thirsty Amendment has been passed. Make sure you spread the word to your friends in the business. I would hate for them to get fined for breaking my law.
- Website
- http://www.tropicana.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/9/2012
- Comments
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Sonoma Sparkler Natural Blood Orange
Wait so did Somona leave the partnership with Williams, or is this beverage just an example of what you can make with the fancy appliances they sell in their stores? Oh neither, it’s just the name of a city in California that is located close to where this fancy sparkling beverage is made? Well that’s less exciting that knowing that I could pay way too much money to buy kitchen doodads that would allow me to make this drink in the privacy of my own home, but I’ll let it slide due to the delectable nature of this juice. It is juice; don’t be mistaken. It is simply a mixture of apple and blood orange juices that have had carbon dioxide added to it. There are no sweeteners in here mucking things up. It’s pure and it is wonderful. I was hoping it would be pure blood orange juice, so the addition of apples is the only reason this didn’t get top marks. It tastes better than 99% of the beverages you have ever drunk, but to be honest it is more apple than orange. The apple flavoring is like a roller coaster car slowly climbing the hill, and the blood orange hits you suddenly and quickly like rushing down that self same hill. Don’t worry, there are no loopy loops on this ride to make you lose your lunch.
- Website
- http://www.sonomasparkler.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/6/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Naked Protein Juice Smoothie Protein Zone Mango
Honey, I’ll be home a bit later, but I made some soup for you that is in the fridge. Just warm it up and you’ll be good to go. Actually maybe toast a little bread and break it up in the soup, who doesn’t love that?
*Cut to several hours later*
Darling, I appreciate that you took the time to make me soup for dinner, but I have to tell you that was the worst soup I’ve ever tasted in my life. It was so sweet and tasted vaguely dairy like. I don’t know where you got that recipe, but please never make it for me again. I would rather go hungry than eat that again. What does it matter what container I took it out of? Of lord, please don’t tell me you made mass quantities of it! Anyways I took it from the blue container. I thought it was weird that you put soup in a pitcher, but with a color like that what else could it be? What, the soup was in the Tupperware on the bottom shelf? Well then what exactly did I eat? Please tell me it wasn’t one of the kids science experiments. Oh it was a smoothie that you made, that makes way more sense as to how sweet it was. I know I wasted a large chunk of your smoothie, but can I please try it cold instead of piping hot? Well this is much better this way. It’s a nice thick mango and orange juice that is not insanely sweet, which I really enjoy. It’s a bit chalky though, especially towards the bottom of the glass. That little bit was almost undrinkable. Oh, you added some whey and soy protein so it will help you out after your workout. You really are a smart one, and I am truly an idiot for thinking this was soup.
- Website
- http://www.nakedjuice.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/5/2012
- Comments
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McCutcheon's Cherry Cider
It is important to note that this is firstly cider and secondly cherry flavored. That is the way these types of drinks should be. A lot of flavored ciders use too much of the flavoring and it completely takes over the taste, and ruins a perfectly wonderful fall drink. Did I say this was a seasonal drink? Not anymore my friends. I've had cider "out of season" before and it has always left me disappointed. McCutcheon's has broken the mold as this has the most authentic apple cider flavor that I have ever tasted for mass consumption single serving bottles.
Also important is that the cherry flavoring actually tastes like cherries and not cold medicine. It's shocking what you can accomplish just by using actual fruit. This is of such a high quality that I would not have been surprised if I had discovered that it was made by Cherry Republic, and that means a lot in my world.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Cider
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/4/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Apple & Eve Fruitables Berry Berry
I was thinking aloud today that it would be awesome if you could change the color of your pee. It is not gross. It's awesome. Obviously I wouldn't use a dye or anything not "natural" but I would like to use something like the things they use for food to make it a certain color. Carrot juice, beet juice, and so on. Concentrate the living daylights out of it, put it in a pill, sell it to kids, have them laugh as they pee purple. I would buy a year supply out of it and just drink so much water that I would pee every fifteen minutes.
Just as luck would have it, I would have this drink in the fridge queued up and ready to go. It's got all sorts of stuff in there for color and although I can almost guarantee that I'm not going to pee light pink, I am going to enjoy twelve fluid ounces of delicious and nutritious juice. A full day's vegetable and fruit servings in one with no added sugar and all the vitamin C a man can handle. This is great for this time of year when I could get a cold at any minute. I need all the help I can get. Now if someone can help me pee neon pink I would be ever so grateful.
- Website
- http://www.appleandeve.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/29/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Philippine Brand Pineapple Juice
If this line of beverages is any indication, I believe I am long overdue for a trip to the Philippines. So far we have reviewed mango, calamansi and guava juices, and now we’re on to pineapple. That’s one hell of a foursome of juices to have readily available in your country. Do you like how I assume that all of those fruits grow rampant everywhere? Oh of course you can walk down any block in the Philippines and pick each of these fruits from trees you will pass. It’s just like in America where you can’t look more than 50 feet without finding apples, pears and grapes.
The other juices from this brand that we have done have had sugar added to them. It was unnecessary, but I could live with it and enjoy the juice. With this pineapple juice, they decided to throw caution to the wind and leave out the sugar. It was a wise choice. All that is in this can is pineapple juice, it’s not sweetened and it’s not watered down. It’s wonderful, and not too acidic. It tastes like you’re biting into a fresh pineapple that you cut from the bush you just passed on vacation, except you don’t have to fear about your tongue bleeding from the amount of acid in it. Life is good in the Philippines.
- Website
- http://www.profoodcorp.com
- Country
- Philippines
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/27/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment