No Sugar Added (717 reviews)

Polar Seltzer'ade Mango Limeade

Polar Seltzer'ade Mango Limeade

This may in fact be the best seltzer ever created. All other seltzers were given inferiority complexes when this was released. They all lay awake at night, looking at a 4am ceiling wondering where they went wrong in their lives. The poor things never stood a chance.

The mango smell that permeates from this is so strong that in a blind sniff test there is no way I would have guessed it was a seltzer. The flavor rivals that scent and is so strong and pleasant. The lime sits perfectly under the mango for a tropical treat. My senses are treated so well by this beverage that my mind is tricked into thinking I was drinking something that is laden with sugar. In reality there is not a speck of it.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 24th, 2017
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Sapp Birch Water Original

Sapp Birch Water Original

Birch beer is fantastic. Let's get this. Well this doesn't taste like birch beer. It doesn't smell like it. It doesn't taste like it. This is probably (zero research, friends) the birch equivalent of maple water but doesn't tastes like you strained it through some tasty flapjacks.

Brass tacks. This is water, bruh. It's water with a hint of something you will never know what it is. I promise. It tastes like nothing. It smells like nothing. I could have been had with this drink as far as I know. Is it bad? Well that depends. Are you one of those idiots that thinks water is gross? If so, come on, dude. Grow up. Juice is terrible for you. Learn a book you dummy. Juice is just a cheating way to get kids to drink more water. You're 32. Drink water and eat your vegetables.

Website
http://www.sapplife.co/
Country
Ukraine
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 19th, 2017
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Polar Seltzer'ade Raspberry Pink Lemonade

Polar Seltzer'ade Raspberry Pink Lemonade

Come on Polar, you obviously have the means, so why not make all of your seltzers this flavorful? Why save it for a specialized line? Has there been a new breakthrough in the sugarless flavoring world that has allowed you to up the taste? Going back to your classic flavors after drinking the Seltzer’ade line just leaves me wanting now. I mean I am still drinking a ton of the stuff, but the magic is gone. I have been shown that the world is more than I thought it was and I want it all. This is bursting with flavor, well at least as much as seltzer can be. Or, can there be more? I never would have expected it could have been before, but I was proven wrong).Give me more Polar. Give me it all.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 19th, 2017
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Polar Seltzer'ade Watermelon Lemonade

Polar Seltzer'ade Watermelon Lemonade

Dear Readers,
I am a slacker and I am waaaaayyyy behind the times. This summer Polar released their Seltzer’ade line and here I sit in autumn’s grasp and I have only reviewed one of them. To be fair, the blueberry lemonade was the only one of the five flavors that I actually saw in the stores around Buffalo during the actual summer. Now that a Whole Foods finally opened here a couple of weeks ago I was able to pick up some cases of three of the remaining flavors (the tart cherry is still elusive). Summer may be behind us, but I certainly hope Polar leaves these available all year around. As much as I hate to admit it, they are superior to the classic Polar flavors that I live off of. The flavors are way more pronounced, to an extent that several times I have found myself checking to make sure there isn’t any sugar involved (there isn’t).

I would best describe the watermelon lemonade as someone dissolved a handful of Jolly Ranchers in a glass of carbonated water, and then somehow removed all the sugar. It doesn’t taste particularly like an actual watermelon, but it is uncannily similar to the pre mentioned candy without the sweetness. That blows my mind because that candy is probably 99% sugar, yet this tastes exactly like it.

This particular flavor isn’t something I would drink all of the time, but I wish I would have had it during the summer. I also think this line is the key to weening children off soda. Slowly replace their soda with cans of this and they will be off the sugar in no time, to the dismay of the Dental Association of America.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 11th, 2017
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Polar Seltzer Jr. Unicorn Kisses

Polar Seltzer Jr. Unicorn Kisses

Here we have it, the fourth and final Seltzer Jr flavor of the season (Also the first one released last year that I couldn’t get my hands on). The season is ending the hot weather is gone and fall is rolling right in. Should I have reviewed this when the weather was still nice and you were still able to find this on the shelves? Of course I should have, but life gets hectic and the 1 minutes that it’s going to take me to write this were too much to spare between hanging out in the woods and reading comics (and work and travelling). Did I drink a bunch of these and not write about it for about a month? You can bet your kids on it. Let’s be honest here, this was a limited line and there was no way that Polar wasn’t going to sell out of it. They barely lasted a week at my grocery store in Buffalo. They didn’t need my help pushing the product. They were kind enough to send me some samples before they made their way to the Western NY market though, which was very kind of them. We have nothing but love for Polar here at Thirsty Dudes. We just tend to be lazy sometimes. We do this for fun, and that’s that.
It turns out that a unicorn’s diet mostly consists of cucumbers because that is what this slobbery kiss tastes like. I also detect a bit of melon in there. On top of that it’s all candied up, even though there is no sugar. At first I was so-so on this one, but once I realized it was cucumber my interests rose.Well done Polar. Can’t wait until next summer.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 29th, 2017
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Arizona Good Brew Unsweet Tea

Arizona  Good Brew Unsweet Tea

Shawn, what did you do to this iced tea? Did you pour me a glass of iced tea, drink half of my glass, look in the fridge, realize there was no more tea and then refill my glass with water? You didn't? This was purchased like this? This is how you bought this? Look me in my eyes and tell me that this was unaltered and went from bottle to glass. Really? Who made this? Arizona? The company that has historically made decent tea that we all grew up with? Really? Well, that disappoints me. I am disappointed. This actually sucks. Shawn, you let me down. Not as much as Arizona has but this blows and it's your fault. Do better.

Website
http://drinkarizona.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 27th, 2017
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Polar Seltzer Jr. Yeti Mischief

Polar Seltzer Jr. Yeti Mischief

Just as these were popping up on shelves around Buffalo, they were already on their way out. I was able to get these in my hometown for less than a week before they disappeared from the shelves of my local Wegmans. To be fair, that may have been for the best. While I've enjoyed all four of the Seltzer Jr flavors, I couldn't see myself continuously buying them. They are a nice fun treat, but not something that I need all the time (my vanilla and cranberry lime still reign supreme).

What does it taste like when a yeti gets itself in some troubled fun? Well, it kind of tastes like fruit punch flavored Sprite with the sugar left out, at least to me. If you read other reviews on the internet people seem to be all over the place with what they think this tastes like. It would be interesting to see what Polar had intended the flavor to be.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 26th, 2017
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Oatly Natural Energy Orange Mango

Oatly Natural Energy Orange Mango

I love everything about this packaging; the size, the totally recyclable material used (it feels great in your hands) and especially the design. It's simple, clean, and interesting. On top of the packaging being great, the contents are even better. In a blind taste test I would have bet all my monies on the fact that there was dairy in here. Goodbye duckets, because this is totally vegan and it made with oat milk. I've never had that before, nor did I know it existed, but it seems like a great alternative to dairy milk. Adding fruit to it makes it taste like a melted orange mango creamsicle. It's magical tasting and can easily fill in a gap for those who have dairy free diets.

Website
http://www.oatly.com/
Country
Sweden
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Milk
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 19th, 2017
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Telula Blackberry + Chia

Telula Blackberry + Chia

I’m pretty sure that as I was going to take my first sip of this I fell asleep, because surely this must be a dream. This is absolutely wonderful. The only ingredients are blackberry puree and chia seeds. I couldn’t ask for anything more. Blackberries are one of, if not my favorite fruit and chia seeds just make drinks fun. This is 95% juice. That means that blackberries make up 95% of what is contained in this bottle. I wish I could have this flow out of my sink as water currently does. I want a never ending stream of it at the ready. I could drink an Olympic size swimming pool full of this and it still wouldn’t be enough. Are you getting the picture yet? This is perfection.

Website
http://www.drinktelula.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 6th, 2017
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Odwalla Quencher Hotter-Melon

Odwalla Quencher Hotter-Melon

After drinking over 4,000 beverages to review, things can get boring. There is only so much one can say about the same old drinks day in and day out. Sure, I still really enjoy a lot of them, but my inspiration is running dry and that means Thirsty Dudes has slowed down a lot from when we first started seven years ago. I wasn’t even looking for something new to review in the grocery store when I found this. I just really wanted some juice. While I’m in this frame of mind I almost always go for a 100% juice, but when you have a bottle of jalapeno watermelon juice staring you down, you settle for the 20% in order to experience the wild ride it’s inevitably going to take you on. So, sit down, strap yourself in, crack open the bottle and let the adventure begin.

First off, when I opened this up, I hated the way it smelled. It doesn’t smell unpleasant, but it also does not smell how I want a juice to smell. It smells like a liquefied, fruity salad. Lucky for all of us involved it tastes much better than that. The makeup of this juice includes apple, lemon, watermelon, raspberry and jalapeno. The watermelon actually makes up a very small portion of the ingredients, but I’ll give it to them for leaning on it to have a great name for the juice. Instead of tasting just like a spicy watermelon juice, this is more of a spicy fruit punch. It is a great fruit punch though, where you can make out the individual fruits used and not just a general hodgepodge of sweetness. I’d also like to note that the spiciness of it is not overwhelming either. The pepper is there as more of a flavor than a heat factor. The more you drink the hotter it gets, but it never gets to a critical level.

This is now someone’s favorite drink. It’s not mine, but I certainly appreciate it for being something new and unusual. It’s not the type of thing that I would drink the entire 15oz bottle of in one sitting, but I have found myself continuously going back to it throughout the day to take a sip here or there. There are different kinds of beverages in the world and this is the kind you sip and ponder.

Website
http://www.odwalla.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 3rd, 2017
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