Not Listed (76 reviews)

McDonalds McCafe Iced Mocha Caramel

McDonalds McCafe Iced Mocha Caramel

I have been trying all day to try to figure out what type of person would eat a Pop tart while drinking this, as I did this morning. I think the answer is someone who hates themselves. Someone who hates their body, has given up counting calories, and forgotten the definition of the word fitness (at least for one meal).

Why would I say that? Pop Tarts are delicious but made for kids even though they're pretty awful for you and I feel guilty giving my kid Pop Tarts but sometimes there is no milk and we're out of alternatives. Append the fact that I'm pretty sure this is coffee that is held together by sugar because it is wildly, immensely, insanely sweet. It tastes more like caramel coffee than caramel mocha but it's not awful. If you can get past the fact that with each sip you have to sacrifice your least favorite toes and fingers, it's not bad. It still tastes like coffee and it's smooth and it tastes like what it's supposed to.

Dat sugar doe...

Website
http://www.mcdonalds.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 8th, 2014
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Dunkin' Donuts Iced Latte Snickerdoodle

Dunkin' Donuts Iced Latte Snickerdoodle

Was there anything more disappointing that when you were in home economics in high school and they told you that you were going to make snickerdoodles only to find out that there is nothing similar between Snickers candy bar and snickerdoodle cookies? What a complete bummer. To this date, I still get mad when I eat snickerdoodles. It's not that they're bad but they’re no Snickers. I'll make you a Snicker cookie that would blow the lid off any of your dumb grandma's prized, award winning snickerdoodle cookies. Oh, I know they won the blue ribbon in Tennessee in 1953 against Mabel Johnson's apple pie but who gives a rip. Snickerdoodles will always be second to something with chocolate, caramel and nuts.

This, as disappointing as it may be, isn't bad. It's coffee and snickerdoodle. It would be like if you had a coffee and dipped a snickerdoodle in it and it broke off and you just went with the flow and let it marinate. It's sweet but cookies are sweet so if you didn't see that coming, you truly don't know what you're eating and have no imagination.

Also, if there was a fight, my maternal grandma would crush your grandma in a cook off. My paternal grandma would lose every time. No, not because she's dead but because she was a pretty terrible cook. She was a wonderful woman who lived through the Holocaust. It didn't enhance her cooking skills but what each of my grandmas was doing in their twenties was polarizingly different.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 2nd, 2014
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Dunkin' Donuts Dunkaccino

Dunkin' Donuts Dunkaccino

Like a scene right out of Chapelle Show's "Pop Copy" skit, I walked in to Dunkin' Donuts and the employees were talking about not committing a crime because it wasn't worth going to jail and having something on their record. Fantastic. I, for one, enjoy catching little gems like that. At least these people have some sort of personality and aren't just robots behind a counter pressing buttons. As long as it doesn't affect my food, continue on, please. I find myself right now asking myself what it is that wasn't worth it. In between jail talk I managed to ask what a Dunkaccino was. Her response was that it was like a mocha but with a powder. I have reviewed Dunkin’ Donuts mocha and it was disappointing. Why? Because they advertised it to me as "Oh, you mean a half hot chocolate and half coffee?" pulling the sheet off the magic trick. This was described with a bit less blatancy.

This tasted like hot cocoa with a touch, a dash of coffee. It wasn't bad. It went down pretty smoothly as if it was somehow "lighter" than regular hot cocoa. Frothy, perhaps.

At the end of the day, I'll probably get the jitters from a minimum amount of coffee-based caffeine like a wimp but hey, if the glove fits.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 30th, 2014
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Dunkin' Donuts Coolatta Hazelnut Swirl

Dunkin' Donuts Coolatta Hazelnut Swirl

What better way to start off a week than with a kind of slimy sausage, egg and cheese on a croissant and an iced coffee drink? Well, for starters, don't get the croissant because you knew it wasn't going to be good and second don't start off by going to the police station to retrieve a police report on an accident you were in over the weekend. That's how. I suppose that this drink may make my week start off a little bit better. Why? Well, it's not too bad, that's why. It was also served with a smile that felt sincere so that always helps.

This drink? Much of the same but the hazelnut flavor was pretty prominent. No, it didn't taste like Nutella which is partially what I wanted it to taste like but it also didn't really taste like coffee too much either. I'm so/so on that one. I wish that I had gotten my iced fudge almond thing but I saw a new drink and had to review it. Such is my life, right? Was this good? Yeah. It was good but slushie drinks in the morning are kind of, well, gluttonous. It was sweet and cold. It would have made a nice closer to my day rather than an opener. I'm planning things all wrong today now that I'm finishing this review. I might be off on a bad foot.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 11th, 2014
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7 Eleven Mexican Hot Chocolate

7 Eleven Mexican Hot Chocolate

I am aware of the fact that this is a tremendously generic photo and there is nothing I can do about that short of take a picture of the dispenser I received the drink from. Taking that with a grain of salt, this drink is better than you would presume. It is slightly spicy like you would expect a Mexican Hot Chocolate. If you haven't had it, please find some. It is hot chocolate, which is delicious, mixed with some spices like cinnamon and some peppers so it's equal parts spicy and herby. Herby? Eh, I'll accept it.

Another little tidbit of information that you might like to know is that society and generosity is not dead. Why would drinking a Mexican hot cocoa mean that? It doesn't. What does is that I forgot my wallet and was about to dump this down the drain along with my limited amount of happiness but a woman at the counter saw me do "the pat" against my pants and knew what was up. She bought it for me and I was eternally grateful. Seriously, I do nice things for you people all the time and it rarely comes back. I don't ask for it, but I'm silently counting to myself and the chart points at me being a real super guy and you at being the equivalent of human garbage.

Website
http://www.7-eleven.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Milk
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 4th, 2014
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O-Key Refrescos (Red)

O-Key Refrescos (Red)

"Red," huh? It pretty undisputedly tastes "red." It could be cherry, strawberry, raspberry or something else. I can't tell but it's actually pretty good. Normally with a drink like this, red pop that is, it's really sweet and really fruity. This is actually a good step back and it's not too much of either.

I enjoy seeing the glass bottles with the wear on the sides. It reminds me of a time where you would buy bottles of pop and return them and they would be washed and reused. If Mexico still does it, good for you. We can all agree that pop in glass tastes better than canned or plastic'd pop. This one will be recycled but will not go back to its birthplace.

Country
Mexico
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 24th, 2014
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Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Oreo

Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Oreo

Remember when you wanted to start the day drinking something healthy and you decided that it was too gross to deal with so while you let a five dollar bottle of juice rot in the morning sun, you bought something that has the word "Oreo" in it to wash the foul taste of "health" out of your mouth? Yeah. Happens all the time, right?

At McDonald's, they have a chocolate chip Frappe that has bits of chocolate chips in the drink. They are men of their words, those McDonald's bros. Tim Horton's? I cannot say the same thing. Oreo crumbles atop some whipped cream atop a regular iced cappuccino? That's insufficient. You didn't make anything as much as spill something over a regular drink and lazily call it something else. You don't have vanilla ice cream with caramel sauce on it and call it caramel iced cream, do you?

It's almost hard to rate this because it's such a lazy attempt at something that would otherwise have been pretty good but I'll give it a go. You like iced cappuccinos from Tim Horton's right? Cool. You'll love this. You know what would be cool? To sprinkle Oreo crumbles on top as a garnish. Who could complain about that? No one. Oh, no. That's not an Oreo iced cappuccino, it's just a regular iced cappuccino with Oreo's on it. It taste like coffee, is cold, and has whipped cream with Oreo crumbs on it. Period.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 12th, 2014
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Dunkin' Donuts Frozen Mocha Coffee

Dunkin' Donuts Frozen Mocha Coffee

Oh, you're right. I shouldn't have the whipped cream on top of this. Do you remember that time we went to that fancy restaurant, I got a small vanilla ice cream and diarrhea ran rampant? What a night? Good thing I had workout pants in the trunk of my car. What a mess. This drink is good without it, though. Oh, I got the...what is this called, frozen mocha coffee. Isn't it implied that mocha is coffee? It seems a bit redundant.

This is good, though hardly mocha, if you ask me. I don't get a lot of coffee. Last night when I said I was coming to bed, I've got to come clean about something. I have been catching up on Party of Five. I just never got around to it. I stayed up way too late and thought this might give me some pep but this seems like more of a chocolate Icee than a coffee and chocolate Icee. It's not quite coffeeless, a made up word, but it's precariously on the edge of being so.

I'm having order regret, though. I kind of wish I had gotten the whipped cream and suffered the consequences. I think that if I had stirred it in and made a whipped mocha coffee drink, it would have thickened it up and been something more substantial. Look, I'm not complaining, but I'm always looking to enhance my experiences, you know. I've got to say, this is a great second date. It would have been a shame if I got diarrhea again. Let's end this one on a solid note. Ha. Remember when I was talking about poop and then I talked about something being "solid." Ha. Good one, me.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 5th, 2014
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Dunkin' Donuts Coolatta Arnold Palmer

Dunkin' Donuts Coolatta Arnold Palmer

I know people, adults, who drink copious amounts of Arizona Arnold Palmer. Copious. Too much. Yeah, I'll say it. Too much. Iced tea and lemonade or as it's nicknamed, "Half & Half" is great when you've got great ingredients. A good lemonade and a good sweet tea are some of the simplest drinks to make. Ready? For both there are only four ingredients and two of them overlap and one of those is water. Water, sugar, black tea, lemon. Done. There is more in this and you can tell because it has a strange viscosity. Not a common complaint among us Thirsty Dudes but this was an iced beverage that somehow never managed to taste iced. It just tasted like a twenty percent thick Arizona Arnold Palmer.

If I had my druthers, and this would most certainly not be the voice of the masses, I would have just used Dunkin' Donuts' sweet tea because it's pretty great. The lemonade, I don't know if Dunkin' sells it but they theoretically could and just do everything in house. I don't get the need for the "Arizona" registration mark unless Arizona is supplying the, presumably, syrup that is dastardly ruining this otherwise good drink.

This drink is not what you want it to be and is let down by the demand for name dropping and laziness. There. I said it. Sorry, America.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Iced Tea, Lemonade
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 4th, 2014
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Dr. Pepper Freezes Vanilla

Dr. Pepper Freezes Vanilla

Jay and I are not fine food eaters. We do not tuck our napkins in our shirts when we eat. Heck, I don't even use napkins. When we go out, we just go real easy. We don't always necessarily go "safe" but we take what's there. We are not beggars nor are we choosers.

Today, our adventure to an island that did not prove to be as "great" as it claimed to be and out plans went south so we had to make other arrangements. Those arrangements? Taco Bell, Trader Joe's, and Guitar Center. When we go, we go big and get fun new varieties of Mountain Dew and I got this, a Freeze. I haven't been to Taco Bell in a while but this is a new thing that they most certainly did not invent, as it’s just a Slurpee. Vanilla Dr. Pepper, though. That is something. It's not exactly my highly desired cherry chocolate Dr. Pepper but it's something. So how "something" was it? It was just something, really. Perhaps not enough vanilla. Sure a Dr. Pepper Slurpee is wonderful but I would have liked a little bit more vanilla, you know, because it's what I ordered.

We made the most after other people decided to turn their Memorial Day into a Memorial Extended Weekend. You work at a music store. Aside from people murdering Stairway every twenty-five minutes, you've got it pretty easy.

Website
http://www.drpepper.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 24th, 2014
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