Not Listed (76 reviews)

Dunkin' Donuts Coolatta Hazelnut Swirl

Dunkin' Donuts Coolatta Hazelnut Swirl

What better way to start off a week than with a kind of slimy sausage, egg and cheese on a croissant and an iced coffee drink? Well, for starters, don't get the croissant because you knew it wasn't going to be good and second don't start off by going to the police station to retrieve a police report on an accident you were in over the weekend. That's how. I suppose that this drink may make my week start off a little bit better. Why? Well, it's not too bad, that's why. It was also served with a smile that felt sincere so that always helps.

This drink? Much of the same but the hazelnut flavor was pretty prominent. No, it didn't taste like Nutella which is partially what I wanted it to taste like but it also didn't really taste like coffee too much either. I'm so/so on that one. I wish that I had gotten my iced fudge almond thing but I saw a new drink and had to review it. Such is my life, right? Was this good? Yeah. It was good but slushie drinks in the morning are kind of, well, gluttonous. It was sweet and cold. It would have made a nice closer to my day rather than an opener. I'm planning things all wrong today now that I'm finishing this review. I might be off on a bad foot.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 11th, 2014
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Dunkin' Donuts Dunkaccino

Dunkin' Donuts Dunkaccino

Like a scene right out of Chapelle Show's "Pop Copy" skit, I walked in to Dunkin' Donuts and the employees were talking about not committing a crime because it wasn't worth going to jail and having something on their record. Fantastic. I, for one, enjoy catching little gems like that. At least these people have some sort of personality and aren't just robots behind a counter pressing buttons. As long as it doesn't affect my food, continue on, please. I find myself right now asking myself what it is that wasn't worth it. In between jail talk I managed to ask what a Dunkaccino was. Her response was that it was like a mocha but with a powder. I have reviewed Dunkin’ Donuts mocha and it was disappointing. Why? Because they advertised it to me as "Oh, you mean a half hot chocolate and half coffee?" pulling the sheet off the magic trick. This was described with a bit less blatancy.

This tasted like hot cocoa with a touch, a dash of coffee. It wasn't bad. It went down pretty smoothly as if it was somehow "lighter" than regular hot cocoa. Frothy, perhaps.

At the end of the day, I'll probably get the jitters from a minimum amount of coffee-based caffeine like a wimp but hey, if the glove fits.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 30th, 2014
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Dunkin' Donuts Iced Latte Snickerdoodle

Dunkin' Donuts Iced Latte Snickerdoodle

Was there anything more disappointing that when you were in home economics in high school and they told you that you were going to make snickerdoodles only to find out that there is nothing similar between Snickers candy bar and snickerdoodle cookies? What a complete bummer. To this date, I still get mad when I eat snickerdoodles. It's not that they're bad but they’re no Snickers. I'll make you a Snicker cookie that would blow the lid off any of your dumb grandma's prized, award winning snickerdoodle cookies. Oh, I know they won the blue ribbon in Tennessee in 1953 against Mabel Johnson's apple pie but who gives a rip. Snickerdoodles will always be second to something with chocolate, caramel and nuts.

This, as disappointing as it may be, isn't bad. It's coffee and snickerdoodle. It would be like if you had a coffee and dipped a snickerdoodle in it and it broke off and you just went with the flow and let it marinate. It's sweet but cookies are sweet so if you didn't see that coming, you truly don't know what you're eating and have no imagination.

Also, if there was a fight, my maternal grandma would crush your grandma in a cook off. My paternal grandma would lose every time. No, not because she's dead but because she was a pretty terrible cook. She was a wonderful woman who lived through the Holocaust. It didn't enhance her cooking skills but what each of my grandmas was doing in their twenties was polarizingly different.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 2nd, 2014
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McDonalds McCafe Iced Mocha Caramel

McDonalds McCafe Iced Mocha Caramel

I have been trying all day to try to figure out what type of person would eat a Pop tart while drinking this, as I did this morning. I think the answer is someone who hates themselves. Someone who hates their body, has given up counting calories, and forgotten the definition of the word fitness (at least for one meal).

Why would I say that? Pop Tarts are delicious but made for kids even though they're pretty awful for you and I feel guilty giving my kid Pop Tarts but sometimes there is no milk and we're out of alternatives. Append the fact that I'm pretty sure this is coffee that is held together by sugar because it is wildly, immensely, insanely sweet. It tastes more like caramel coffee than caramel mocha but it's not awful. If you can get past the fact that with each sip you have to sacrifice your least favorite toes and fingers, it's not bad. It still tastes like coffee and it's smooth and it tastes like what it's supposed to.

Dat sugar doe...

Website
http://www.mcdonalds.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 8th, 2014
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Tim Horton's Smoothie Orange Pineapple

Tim Horton's Smoothie Orange Pineapple

Pineapple and orange together is like a personal trip to the tropics. The Greek yogurt was a good, but different pick. Sure, we now eat it for breakfast but mixed in with a smoothie, it's a little gritty. I can't really pinpoint it. It's not smooth like a regional yogurt. A Mediterranean yogurt makes it a little less smooth. I'm not complaining. I'm reviewing. It was also thinner than a traditional smoothie. It was closer to a Slurpee than a smoothie.

That might be one of the most general, reviews Thirsty Dudes have ever written.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Smoothie
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 2nd, 2015
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Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee Rocky Road

Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee Rocky Road

Rocky road is a pretty great ice cream. Chocolate, marshmallows and nuts. It's kind of the best things combined. This is a liquid version with coffee. Now, in typical Dunkin' Donuts fashion, I saw how it was "made" and was a bit let down. They're not good at keeping the curtain up between the "half coffee; half hot chocolate; mocha" debacle and now the fact that they just arbitrarily squirt flavor into coffee, it's just not full of surprises. Do I need to be surprised? No. Do I want to have the knowledge of where my food comes from and how it's made? Eh, to an extent. I still want to love hot dogs, you know?

Back to rocky road. It was actually pretty good. It would be something that you get once, and then love, and then get like eleven days in a row only to find out that it's clearly awful for you and you've got the jitters like you wouldn't believe and now your feening. Getting one and drinking one I can see how this would avalanche into an intervention. It's sweet, still tastes like coffee, has a good chocolate taste and although you don't get any nuts or marshmallow, it's still a nice treat to pick you up in the middle of a day. Just don't watch them make it because they squeeze all the fun out of everything.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 7th, 2015
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Olamendi's La Pinata Cola

Olamendi's La Pinata Cola

It's been a long time since I've had a cola. I never drink the stuff. I don't drink pop unless it's for Thirsty Dudes and I've been doing a really crappy job of reviewing drinks as of late. Look, I can look in the mirror and be honest with myself. I've dropped the ball a lot. That being said, we've drank a lot of drinks and unless we slow down, there won't be anything else to drink.

This is...I don't know what this is. Is this a champagne cola? "La Pinata" is sort of a Spanish thing, right? It's got a little bit of a fruit flavor but doesn't taste like bubble gum like most straight cola champagnes are. It's got a good cola flavor, though. It's not too light and the fruit gives it a good alternative taste to a straight cola. I wish I could share this with someone while slamming at a piñata and having a parrot on my shoulder like in the label. Parrots rule. I'd rather have a parrot than a hundred piñatas. Unless it's that piñata from Billy Madison that is filled with Rolex watches. I'd take that over a parrot. I could hock a Datejust and just go out and buy a parrot. One for me and one for Pico, my scarlet macaw.

Website
http://www.olamendisgf.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 14th, 2015
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McDonalds McCafe Green Apple

McDonalds McCafe Green Apple

Happy Birthday, Morrissey. For your birthday I bought you a green apple smoothie from McDonald's. Yeah, it's the same McDonald's. Yeah, they still serve hamburgers. You know they do, man. Why would you ask that? Oh, you won't drink it? I doubt there is any hamburger in it. It was a joke. Come on. Here. I'll taste it first.

It's good. You would think it would be like a green apple Jolly Rancher but it actually tastes like real apples. You eat apples, don't you? Yeah. I thought so. Look, I'm not disrespecting your beliefs. I've seen you in concert twice and sang along to Meat Is Murder while you showed graphic videos of the mistreatment of animals. They're really enough to make people in PETA sick, honestly. It's got no extra sourness so you can enjoy the taste buds in your mouth the way that they were intended to be used.

What do you say? Do you want this drink that I managed to keep cold from Buffalo to jolly old England where I then had to hire a private investigator to find your rather nice and modest home? No? Cool. I'll just leave this here on your front porch. Happy birthday, Morrissey.

Website
http://www.mcdonalds.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Smoothie
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 22nd, 2015
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Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Mocha

Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Mocha

Overly indulgent. Two words. Done? Please. You know me better than that. What made it overly indulgent? Well it could have been the generous amount of whipped cream. It could have been the generous amount of chocolate syrup. I just wanted an iced mocha coffee. I could have said, "no" when she asked. It's the drink, though. It's the complete package. I have to review them as-is. I did deny cream and sugar because I'm not a masochist.

For coffee lovers, this is closer to coffee than, say, an iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts. That's closer to chocolate milk than this. This is easily sixty or seventy percent coffee. Dunkin' is closer to thirty percent.

I still managed to drink two-thirds of this. I've got a mild case of "da shakes" but I'm fine. I had a big salad. You can just call me Elaine Benes.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 15th, 2015
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Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Pumpkin Pie

Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Pumpkin Pie

This drink is like a prude hooker. What do you say about a drink that came out too early and is too thick to drink? Well, you call it "fine" when it tastes like this. This doesn't really taste like "Fall" or "pumpkin" really. Not a lot of spice. I was looking for nutmeg or cinnamon or something but at the end of the day, I was left with something that didn't taste like coffee and was quite frankly too chunky to drink. They put these cookie crunchies atop the gratuitous amount of whipped cream. Nice to look at but everything sinks to the bottom and makes you swear at an inanimate object because you can't drink it and you paid for it and it's not letting you do what you paid to do. You know, like a prude hooker.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Chunky, Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 25th, 2015
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