Thirsty Dudes :: Sweetener :: Pure Cane Sugar

Cooper's Cave Ale Company Butter Beer Butterscotch Cream Soda

People just don't understand what a hard life us members of Slytherin have. Wake up. Pray to the snake. Eat breakfast. Pray to the snake. Mock a Weasely for being a ginger. Pray to the snake. Go to class. Pray to the snake. Make fun of a Weasely for being poor. Pray to the snake. Study for potions. Pray to the snake. Plot against Harry Potter. Pray to the snake. Do the dark lords bidding. Pray to the snake.

That damn snake gets more praise than Odin ever did in his prime. On top of that we have to deal with all of the filthy mudbloods that started letting into the school. Ugh. Those disgusting creatures have no business learning magic. When will He Who Will Not Be Named come back and go all fourth reich on their unworthy keisters?

This is the only time of day that I get to relax. The snake has been appeased and I can sneak off to Hogsmeade and pop into The Three Broomsticks and get myself a nice cold one, loosen my robes and just spend some time on myself. They don't let the underclassman in here so it's nice and quiet. Also because they can't come here they all think that the sought after Butter Beer is alcoholic. They sure took a turn into Wrongville. There's nothing alcoholic about it. It's just a nice tasty cream soda that has been flavored with butterscotch. The combination hits you in some nice waves. First it's all nice and vanilla creamy. Then you swallow and the butterscotch tastes over as a nice mild aftertaste. To tell the truth before I tried one of these I was against butterscotch. It seemed unnatural as a flavor. Something mudbloods would eat as dessert. You still won't find me eating that trash, but I will enjoy one of these sodas whenever I get a chance. Oh great it's almost time to praise the snake again. I should get back to our common room.

Website: http://www.cooperscaveale.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Pure Cane Sugar

Categories: Soda Pop

Rating: 4/5

Reviewed By: Jason Draper on 10/1/2011

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Red Rock Premium Cola

Apparently I just drank history. After drinking this bottle, I decided to do a little research and I found out that Red Rock is one of the oldest carbonated beverages in the United States. It was founded in 1885 in Atlanta, Georgia. This probably is why it has a very classic cola taste to it. It's not trying to be fancy (despite the "premium" label), and it really works. If you like Pepsi Throwback, you'll love this.

The most interesting thing I found out was that Babe Ruth endorsed this soda. This is a big deal because this was the only product he ever personally endorsed in his lifetime. Look at this iconic poster and tell me it doesn't make you want to try it:

Country: United States

Sweetener: Pure Cane Sugar

Categories: Soda Pop

Rating: 3/5

Reviewed By: Derek Neuland on 10/17/2011

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Buy Now: Red Rock Premium Cola Bottle

Bot Concord Grape

In an attempt to appease me with my request for non-colored drinks, Bot has come out with this concord grape water that isn't at all purple. That's a good way to differentiate between a cherry, lemon, grape, chocolate drink; just change the labels.

In all honesty, this drink came out way before I mentioned that novel idea to save companies money and save people's tongues from becoming blue when they drank/ate anything blue raspberry.

If you've never had Bot water, it's good, low calorie, and pretty flavorful. This grape is no different. No, it's not as good as that Blue Plum one I had a while back, but it's good. It does taste like concord grape, but I would say smells more like it than it tastes. They're all about light flavoring and optimum refreshment so this drink is right on par with their little schtick that they're running with. Water that tastes like concord grapes. You want it? Here it is.

Website: http://www.botbeverages.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Pure Cane Sugar

Categories: Water

Rating: 3/5

Reviewed By: Mike Literman on 10/24/2011

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Buy Now: Bot Enhanced Water Grape, 16.9 Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Rocket Fizz Mud Pie

I thought I knew what Mud Pie was but to make sure, I had to Wiki it. It was just what I thought it was. Chocolate with crispy chocolate. One place said that it had whipped cream in it, so I thought it would be like a chocolate cream pop. My mom said that she used to make it by putting chocolate pudding in a piecrust. All of these options sounded great and I had to get this pop in me.

First sip was a bit awkward because it tastes like there is a coffee taste to the pop, and two other people agreed. The chocolate is a good chocolate taste, and that in itself, although not technically "mud pie", would have been good. This tasted like a chocolate, coffee drink. It was good, but I wanted a bit more chocolate, no coffee, and maybe some cream. I wouldn't have been mad if there was cream in there. Much like in real life, if there is whipped cream on a dessert; I'm not going to get mad at you.

Website: http://www.rocketfizz.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Pure Cane Sugar

Categories: Soda Pop

Rating: 3/5

Reviewed By: Mike Literman on 11/3/2011

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Sum Poosie Original

Jay is back from tour and that means that we are in the market for Sum Poosie. Poor, lonely Jay. On the road with two dudes. Yeah, they're good dudes, but dudes none-the-less. So now it's time for Jay and myself to get Sum Poosie. Normally, we aren't the type of guys interested in this type of thing, but sometimes you just need Sum Poosie. Along with the powers of ginseng, our minds will stay intact as we go to town with the ladies. There is also the need for methyl sulfonyl, which is methane. We don't know what it really does, but we crave it every time Jay gets back from tour and its step towards the debauchery that will take place is the never-to-near future.

By now you should know that I am talking about the drink called Sum Poosie. It's an energy drink that loves the ladies and encourages you in every way, shape, and form about trying to get some or see nude girls. As a drink, it's not bad. As an energy drink, it's better than most energy drinks. It doesn't have an energy drink taste and actually tastes a little like cherries, or cherry bubble gum, or cherry lemonade. If I didn't know this was an energy drink, I wouldn't know that this was an energy drink.

If you love the ladies, don't want to stop partying, and just want to spend all of the day at a strip club eating low price, lower quality lobster and shrimp scampi, this is the drink to you. If you like energy drinks and don't mind looking at false stats about one particular women who is on the side of the bottle while you get energized, this is the drink for you. If you are a stuck up women hater who wants to sleep and would never step foot in a strip club and hate the taste of cherries, this is not the drink for you.

Website: http://www.sumpoosie.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Pure Cane Sugar

Categories: Energy Drink

Rating: 3/5

Reviewed By: Mike Literman on 11/7/2011

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Reading Draft Premium Reserve Soda Blueberry Birch

Deep in the mountains of Pennsylvania there once was a group of hill people who lacked intelligence to such a great degree that they couldn't even make moonshine properly. They were the laughingstock of the yokel world. All these pour saps wanted to do was make some cheap hooch that could potentially make them blind, and they failed at every turn. No one really knows what they were thinking when they were trying to make it, but what resulted was a world-class birch beer. You know the kind that you would buy out of a tin mug at a county fair. When they presented it to some of their neighbors, it took awhile for the laughing to subside, but then one of them said something along the line of "how do you expect to make booze without some sort of fruits or vegetables. Since they were in season the family added a butt load of blueberries to their next batch. They still failed to make anything that would get them drunk, but what they did make was truly magical. It was a fine birch beer to start with, but the addition of the blueberries made it astronomical. It was incredibly fruity and sweet and chock full of classic olde time birch beer flavor. To top it all off it somehow went from a healthy dark brown to a bright blue.

The word soon spread about how dumb this family was, but how they had somehow managed to create a tasty treat. The tale soon reached the ears of a wealthy railroad family who moved to PA and hired the family on the spot to continue production of their soda. As a salary they would be paid in low-end whiskey (the gave them nice whiskey at first, but the hill people made fun of it saying it was too hoity toity, so they switched to swill). And that is the story of how Reading Railroad got put on the Monopoly board.

*****************************************EDIT*****************************************
As I drink more of this I realized that Reading Draft has done to birch beer what Voltage did to Mountain Dew, except normal birch beer is great where as regular Mountain Dew is garbage. It just has a slightly similar taste to the Voltage, which is the only Mountain Dew flavor worth putting into your body.

Website: http://www.readingdraft.com

Country: United States

Sweetener: Pure Cane Sugar

Categories: Root Beer, Soda Pop

Rating: 5/5

Reviewed By: Jason Draper on 11/21/2011

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Bruce Cost Fresh Ginger Ale Jasmine Tea

I'm pretty sure that Bruce Cost is a television detective. No, I don't think he does sleuth work for or about television. That would be ridiculous, even for me. I simply meant that with a name like that he has to be a dark mysterious detective from some drama that aired in the late 80's or early 90's. He always gets his man in the end. The ladies fall for him every time, but like Short Round and Indy he simply has no time for love. He is a man with a clear view of his future and that is to solve crimes in 30-minute increments. That and to produce some of the finest ginger ale's this world has ever seen. What did you think he solely spent his life fighting crime? Everyone needs hobbies and his just happens to be crafting sodas. He's grown quite good at it as well.

While he was wrapping up the case of the Albuquerque Exsanguinater he dreamed up this little fella. The murderer always scouted out his victims at a fancy Chinese restaurant. It always smelled of jasmine tea in there and the smell haunted Cost. He knew he needed to fuse it with his beloved ginger ale. Sure he may have cut some corners on the case so he could get to his "soda lab" quickly, but he gets results and isn't that all that really matters when a killer is on the loose?

Mixing soda pop and teas is a tricky game that can easily turn to garbage. I'd say about 1/4 of the ones I've tried are actually decent. The rest, well they can rest on the trash heap for all I care. Cost went through an ridiculous amount of recipes before he hit pay dirt. He finally figured out the correct formula to make a jasmine ginger ale that comes through on every front. It has a distinct ginger taste, due to the tiny pieces of ginger that he realized just should not be filtered out. It also has a faint burn, but not nearly enough to consider it a ginger beer. Finally he had to get the proper flowery flavor without tasting too much like soap. Unlike in his cases he cut no corners with this soda. Everything it contains is a top notch ingredient and it shows in the flavor. My ladyfriend said it did taste like soap, but she only had a tiny sip. I could see where she was coming from at first, but after another sip that flavor was completely gone. The ginger had neutralized it. If you like a little kick of a treat at the end of your soda, make sure to drink the last sip that has the remaining remnants of ginger. It will give you a nice little parting gift of a burn, like the burn Bruce Cost feels in his heart when he knows their are crimes left unsolved and ginger ale left unbrewed.

Website: http://www.freshgingerale.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Pure Cane Sugar

Categories: Soda Pop

Rating: 4/5

Reviewed By: Jason Draper on 11/29/2011

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Buy Now: Bruce Cost Fresh Ginger Ale Jasmine Green Tea - Case of 12

Marley's One Drop Coffee

I don't know Bob Marley. I mean, come on, I'm a 29 year old, Jewish, white kid from Buffalo. The only thing I know about Bob Marley is that he's probably rolling in his grave because of the fact that every time you think of him, you think of weed, or how you have a tapestry at home with his face on it, or just tie die. It’s unfortunate. I am not going to pretend to know anything about him because pretending to do so will do his life a great injustice. I'm not against him or whatever he believed in and I would like to watch a documentary because I feel that at one point, he was so influential to a people, that he's still as great as he was today. Also, I don't read so a video is the only way that I'm going to take it in. Even Wikipedia is going to be too much to read. That man grew those dreads so we could all see them.

I don't know who's putting out all these Marley drinks, because we all know it's not Bob. He's not signing his name on the dotted line saying, "Yeah, mon. I would love to put me name on dis tea das gonna put ya ta sleep." Someone is forging his name and he keeps pushing out products and the dead Bob Marley is just pulled into it. So "Bob" wants me to drink this coffee drink that he makes and I'll do it.

It's good. It's smooth and doesn't have as strong a coffee taste as many other coffee drinks like a Starbucks. It's not too sweet, and it gives me this coffee stuck to my tongue type deal so that makes it seem genuine and like the coffee you know and love.

Bob, may you rest in peace. If you were here when I was drinking this, you'd better believe that I'd share it. 80/20, advantage you. You win, brother.

Website: http://www.marleybeverages.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Pure Cane Sugar

Categories: Coffee

Rating: 4/5

Reviewed By: Mike Literman on 12/14/2011

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Buy Now: Name Your Link

Good Sport All Natural Sports Drink Grape Berry

This is the FUBU of the beverage world. You could say that this is "for us, by us" but only if you were an athlete. Unless the great congregation of sports aficionados accepts air hockey as a true sport, this drink was not made for me. I don't care I'm going to drink it anyways. What are they going to do, send the sports police after me?

This is one of the best sports drinks I've ever had. It's all-natural and it shows in the flavor. I tend to enjoy sports drinks, but I believe this may be the first one that I've ever tasted that actually has real fruit juice in it. They claim it's for color, but I've never had another drink taste so much like grapes (slightly watered down mind you) that wasn't actual grape juice. The flavor is strong, but only to a point. It still distinctly tastes like a sports drink, but in a fruitier way.

I really hope this catches on and they get a better distribution deal. I would love to be able to pick these up at gas stations instead of their competitors.

Website: http://www.owater.com/

Country: United States

Sweetener: Pure Cane Sugar

Categories: Sports/Dietary Supplement

Rating: 4/5

Reviewed By: Jason Draper on 12/16/2011

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Bedford's Root Beer

This is Harry Potter. No, I did not cast a spell on him and turn him into a bottle of root beer. This is the soda that lived. Allow me to start my story from the beginning.

I was just on tour with my friends’ band and we stopped at Galco's Soda Pop Stop in Los Angeles, CA. I had wanted to go there for quite some time so I was very excited to be there. I hand picked a lot of sodas we hadn't reviewed and safely put them in a box in the van. I didn't have as much time on the road to review them as I thought I would, so my plan was to bring them all back to Buffalo. They were traveling great, until we got to Saskatoon.

Saskatoon is a small city in the province of Saskatchewan in the middle of Canada. When we got there, it was zero degrees outside (around -18 Celsius) in early December. The locals told us this was mild for that time of year. Immediately, Saskatoon became a place I will never visit again in the winter. We played the show, and then went to a friend's house to sleep. No one told us of the dangers of leaving a dozen glass soda bottles in the van overnight.

The next morning, we found all of my sodas frozen and the bottles shattered. Obviously, I was really bummed. We drove to a gas station to sadly throw them out. As we were doing so, we found one that wasn't frozen: this bottle of Bedford's Root Beer. I don't know what prevented it from freezing, but I was happy to see at least one survived.

I was expecting it to taste like the best root beer ever. I figured any drink that can withstand those extreme temperatures must be magical. Sadly, it wasn't that awesome. It was a good middle of the road root beer. But if you want a root beer that can withstand freezing temperatures, this is the one.