Sucralose (176 reviews)
Slow Cow
When we received samples of this, we got a whole case. We wagered guess of how many cans we would have to drink before we fell into a coma of epic proportions. Soap Operas would have nothing on us.
I believe this is the first diet relaxation drink we've reviewed. The can boasts "Zero Calories." At first glance of the ingredient list I thought it didn't have any sweeteners in it at all, artificial or not. I made mention of it to my girlfriend, and started reading off the ingredients that are in it. Right at the bottom I almost missed it again, but there was that sneaky devil sucralose. I knew it had to be there somewhere, as the drink has a definite diet taste to it. It almost tastes like an overly diet Red Bull. You know that weird Smarties flavor.
For some reason I really wanted this to be blue. Cows aren't blue. Milk isn't blue. Yet, this should be blue in my mind. It is clear. It will make you mellow and sleepy though. Oh, and if anyone shaves our beards while we're in our comas, we're coming to get you once we wake up. If we happen to die, be prepared to be haunted.
- Website
- http://www.slowcowdrink.com/
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Relaxation
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/10/2011
- Comments
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Under Way Acai and Pomegranate
Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to be the first to thank you for coming to this ceremony and for purchasing this bottle of Under Way. It brings joy to my heart that all of you purchased this beverage in order to help out with breast cancer awareness. As you know breast cancer is a horrible thing, but by purchasing this drink you are.....wait....what? Under Way has nothing to do with awareness? Why on Earth did they use that pink color for the bottle then? Don't they know that that specific pink is reserved for breast cancer and penicillin? Did they want people to think of antibiotics when they drink this? Oh.....it's a Canadian company. I guess that makes sense.
Even though it's packaging is completely misleading in my world, the drink itself is fairly decent. The diet taste is only slight. The acai and pomegranate flavors overpower it nicely. I don't know how a Canadian drink made it's way down to a U.S. discount store, but it did, and I drank it, and I enjoyed it.
- Website
- http://www.under-way.com/
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/7/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Pink Energy Sugar Free Pink Grapefruit
I recently moved back to Buffalo from living in Portland, OR for 2 years. When I got back, fellow Thirsty Dude Jay gave me some drinks from his stash to get my queue going. He pawned this drink off on me, presumably because he wasn't looking forward to it. I don't blame him, it has all the characteristics of a horrible energy drink: no flavor listed, company you've never heard of, diet/sugar free/0 calories, bad artwork, etc... Oh, the pull-tab says "buzz" on it too. Ugg.
After a little research on their website, I found out this is pink grapefruit flavored (or should I say flavoured since this is a Canadian product?) This was good news to me since, as I've said many times, I love grapefruit flavoured drinks. But it's still a diet energy drink so I was still skeptical.
Here is my thought process after opening it:
Hmm, smells like grapefruit and not like chemicals.
*takes first sip*
Definitely tastes like grapefruit, now lets wait for the chemical aftertaste.
*it never comes*
Wait, really?
*takes another, bigger sip*
This diet energy drink is awesome! It tastes like Squirt and doesn't taste gross at all. After a half dozen sips, I already feel energized and can't wait to be productive the rest of the night. Once again, the fine folks of Canada have made a great product.
- Website
- http://www.damgoodenergy.com/
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 5/28/2011
- Comments
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Rage Shot Tropical Punch
Jimmy was a huge Rage Against The Machine fan. He got into them when he was in high school. Right around the time Evil Empire came out. He thought every other band paled in comparison. He loved them so much; he got "Bombtrack" tattooed in old English on his stomach. All of his friends tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't listen.
When RATM reunited last year, he booked the first ticket to LA he could. There was no way he was going to miss this show. He also brought along a case of these Rage energy shots. He thought the band secretly endorsed it. The company even sent them a copy of their masthead to prove Zach De La Rocha didn't have a hand in their product, but he still thought it was true. He thought this all the way until he met Zach before the concert.
Being the crafty person he is, Jimmy found out where the band was eating before the show and introduced himself to them mid burrito. He told them how big of a fan he was, showed them his tattoo, and then asked if they would sign his box of energy shots. Zach laughed and told him, just like everyone else, that they had nothing to do with the company and refused to sign it. He then went on some diatribe about the indigenous people of Canada (where the drink is made), but Jimmy was in tears and ran out. His dreams had been shattered.
What better way to drown those tears than to drink the entire case of Rage energy shots. One after another, he drank them. Each one tasting just like the last did, fruit punch Kool Aid energy drink. The taste never changed, and never left his mouth for months after that night. He also had a heart attack from all that caffeine.
So let that be a lesson for everyone. Rage Against The Machine would never own an energy drink company, and don't ever interrupt Zach De La Rocha when he's eating a burrito.
- Website
- http://www.rageliquidenergy.com/
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 12/31/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Jones Sugar Free Cola
Remember when Jones came out and you thought to yourself, "Green apple pop?! Woah!" Now, look, they've still got strange, fun flavors, those crazy Canadians, but you've got to pay the bills. Diet cola sells and people love the stuff. Even for a company that prides themselves on using pure cane sugar, they can't do that unless they make a super weak, odd tasting pop. Dry does it, but they're good at it and that's their thing.
This, and you shouldn't be surprised, just tastes like a diet cola. It has an alright cola taste but is still diet. I might say that this is a titch (scientific term) better than diet Pepsi. I'm not hating; just doing a poor comparison. I'm not a hater. I'm cynical, but I'm no hater. 'Nuff respect, Pepsi. Let these guys do what they do.
- Website
- http://www.jonessoda.com
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 8/23/2012
- Comments
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Jones Zilch Black Cherry
Black cherry; the most goth of all fruits. You want to meet up with them? They sleep until noon, work at a bookstore that sells nothing but books on murder, cats, and unlicensed Robert Smith biographies, and go to clubs that are in locations you thought were closed down for a decade. They don't get along with people because they feel they are on the outside looking in. Looking in on all the squares, sellouts, poseurs, conformists, and zealots making fools of themselves on a day-to-day basis. Black cherry listens to Skinny Puppy, KMFDM, and My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult and scoffs at your record collection regardless of how much you like it. Black cherry is one with the dark arts.
Recently, black cherry has put on a little weight and needs to slim down a bit. Torrid is fine and essential to black cherry but some things are stretching a bit and it's becoming a health issue that your mom is getting concerned about. So you add a little sucralose to the mix. It's alright. Sure, it "diet's" you up a little bit and makes you feel like you are trying to be one of those blonde bimbos that swarm the schools like bees to a hive. There is a big difference between anorexia and teenage obesity. You still taste good, like you are supposed to, but there's just you can just tell that you are trying to lose a little weight and use artificial sweeteners. It's fine. You are beautiful no matter what the "cool kids" say. Now head on over to your black Volkswagon Jetta, pop in that old Bauhaus record, and think about what sweet kick moves you are going to do at the club tonight in front of yourself in the mirrors.
- Website
- http://www.jonessoda.com
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/16/2012
- Comments
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Celsius Non Carbonated Outrageous Orange
I’ve had my fair share of these drinks, and this is probably the best tasting of the bunch. It has a generic fake orange flavor to it with a hint of ginger (no burn) that tries to fight the fake sugar taste that lingers at the end. The fact that it is non-carbonated only helps. It goes down smooth, and it serves its function.
For once my issue with a functional beverage isn’t with the flavor, it’s with the name. I really have no idea why I have never questioned it before, but why is this company called Celsius? What does that have to do with eliminated calories? I mean I get that they are trying to tie it in with burning calories, and flames are hot and Celsius is a unit of measurement for temperature. It just seems like there has to be something more behind it, and I want to know what it is. There’s more to this story, and the ex-reporter in me wants to find out what it is. The ex-15-year-old in me couldn’t care less and just wants to go and play video games until his friends call. Guess who’s going to win out?
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/19/2013
- Comments
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What's Knew Freshet Pink Lemonade Flavor Tea
As soon as I smelled this I could tell that it was made from tea powder. It tastes like the iced tea I would make in junior high. I would put twice the recommended amount of tea powder and sugar in. That's not a trip down memory lane I needed to take. It does smell faintly like raspberries, which I assume is the pink aspect of it, but it only tastes like lemon. I didn't even bother finishing the bottle.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/11/2010
- Comments
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Function Light Weight Blueberry Raspberry
I've been putting off trying this diet Function that was sent to us. I really disliked the other diet Function I had. This one really wasn't that bad at all. It lacked that overly diet taste that I had expected. Instead the fruit flavor was the strongest to my taste buds. I might go as far as to say this is the most un-diety diet drink I've ever had. Go ahead, give it a try.
- Website
- http://www.functiondrinks.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/8/2010
- Comments
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Kirkland Vita Rain Dragonfruit
Most variations of vitamin water taste the same to me: sweet, sugary, and somewhere between juice and water in the thickness. This is no exception. I bought it because I was thirsty, didn't have my water bottle with me, and didn't want to buy water. It definitely did the trick. I really like drinks with dragonfruit in them, so I wonder if I'd like the actual fruit. I should explore this sometime soon since most of my fruit intake comes from juice.
- Website
- http://www.costco.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 1/23/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment