100% Juice (12 reviews)

Dole 100% Juice Pineapple Orange Strawberry

Dole 100% Juice Pineapple Orange Strawberry

I want a physical version of the hybrid fruit that is on this label. The top of a pineapple, the bottom of an orange, and the middle is just gigantic sweet, sweet strawberry parts. Science has to have come along far enough that this could be engineered in a lab somewhere. I don’t even care that it wouldn’t be natural, because it would be amazing. I do suppose they would have to toughen up the skin on the strawberry, so that it wouldn’t get mashed, but I’m willing to have to peel my strawberry middle. Science if you create this for me I will owe you one hell of a solid.

Since this has yet to be created by gloriously evil scientists in a lab, Dole did the next best thing and combined the three juices. Seriously, why has this not been done before? You see pineapples and oranges mingling together, but it’s rare that you see them in the company of a strawberry, unless it’s in some sort of fruit salad. I understand that pineapples and oranges are both citrus/tropical fruits, so they obviously go well together, but think outside of the box people. Just because strawberries are grown in the northeast, doesn’t mean they won’t pair nicely with some citrus fruit, which it does in a great way.

There is no sugar added in this juice. It’s just fruit doing all the work, the way life should be. The sweetness of the strawberries helps to keep the acidity of the pineapple and oranges in check. It also gives it that little push it needs to make it stand out over other juices in the cooler of my grocery store.

Until science picks up the slack and makes me my Frankenstein fruit, I’ll just have to keep drinking this juice.

Website
http://www.dole.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 5th, 2013
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Welch's 100% Juice Fruit Punch

Welch's 100% Juice Fruit Punch

What a day, right? I got a new phone that doesn't really work well, I have an old lady next door that doesn't want to call the insurance company about her house falling apart onto my fence and car, and I have juice. Great. Is it a great juice? Eh, it's good. It's kind of thick, if I may be so blunt. It's appley tangy and if I may be blunter, I like a little more fruit in my punch. This is a simple punch. The model, if you will. Grapes, apples, crappy pears, cherry. If I went to a party, I would dig in and leave a quarter of the fruit, i.e.: pears, in the bowl. It's good, though. Simple. Elegant. If you went to a black tie affair, this is the punch you would have. If you are wearing a black tie, you're too good for things like mangoes and/or pineapples. Please. Import fruit. This is a fancy affair. Look at the women wearing hats. This is fancy. If you're eating passion fruit, you get downstairs with the help. We're drinking punch up here.

Website
http://www.welchs.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 7th, 2013
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Welch's 100% Fruit Punch Juice Juice, 14-Ounce Single Serve Bottles (Pack of 12)

Tropicana 100% Juice Strawberry Kiwi

Tropicana 100% Juice Strawberry Kiwi

Have we, The Thirsty Dudes, reached a level of respect and admiration in the beverage world that we can start demanding things? I don’t mean demand people send us stuff, although it is nice when they do. I mean demand that drinks be named/labeled in certain ways. For example if a juice drink, such as this one has four or more different types of fruit juice listed in its ingredients that it must, under Thirsty Law, be labeled as a fruit punch. I will give the companies a little bit on leniency, in that they are allowed one fruit over those in the name of the flavor. I know certain fruits are expensive and using apple or grape juice to stretch out the juice is more cost effective. Anything more than that, will hereby be known as fruit punch.

The drink that I am currently sipping on will now be known as “Strawberry Kiwi Fruit Punch.” It’s that easy. You see the top three fruits listed in the ingredients are apple, grape and pineapple, yet none of them are in the name. While I do enjoy this juice (especially since there is no added sugar) it by no means tastes like someone mashed a bunch of strawberries and kiwis together. That is a drink that would probably be costly, yet would totally be worth that cost. I’m drooling just thinking about it. This tastes like a fruit punch that has a slight kiwi aftertaste. I want to say that you can taste the strawberries in every sip, but the flavor I’m singling out doesn’t taste like biting into a piece of red, juicy fruit. It is just a flavor that companies have programmed my brain to process as strawberry.

So there you have it. I have pounded my gavel and the first Thirsty Amendment has been passed. Make sure you spread the word to your friends in the business. I would hate for them to get fined for breaking my law.

Website
http://www.tropicana.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 9th, 2012
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Tropicana Strawberry Kiwi Plus, 15.2-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Tropicana 100% Juice Grapefruit

Tropicana 100% Juice Grapefruit

Holy crap I feel like I am going to puke. This drink...jeez louise. Just vomit. Gaaah. I can sum this drink up in a lovely simile. Did you, like me grow up biting your fingernails? Did your parents buy you that stuff that you put on your fingernails that made them taste disgusting? This is what that tastes like. Absurdly bitter. Oh it smells inviting but one sip and you are on the fast track to Hurlburg. Please add sugar to this next time. I honestly can't see anyone liking this. I appreciate 100% Juice when it's a good fruit at 100%. Grapefruit juice at 100% sucks.

Website
http://www.tropicana.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 5th, 2012
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Tropicana 100% Juice Pineapple Orange

Tropicana 100% Juice Pineapple Orange

This juice makes me want to stay in a hotel. Why? Two words: Continental Breakfast. Number one, the Lincoln Continental was a large boat of a car. The Continental Breakfast can range from cruddy doughnuts and a carton of orange juice to a smorgasbord of early morning delicacies including but not limited to:


  • Pastries

  • Bagels

  • Breakfast Sandwiches

  • Cereal

Another thing they have is juice. Sometimes they really raise the bar and have multiple types of juice like orange, pineapple, cranberry, and grape. This drink tastes like you are on a business trip to finally close the Johnson deal and you woke up, thirsty as ever. You go downstairs and they've got a sweet setup but they're running late on juice so you've got to mix. You pull a fifty-fifty with some pineapple and orange knowing it will be good and it is. You can taste the two mingling as if they're shaking hands closing deals with your taste buds. If they can do it, you can, too.

You go to your meeting, promptly impress the client, land the Johnson deal, get a big bonus and the admiration of your co-workers, and go buy yourself a nice new suit because you earned it all thanks to two juices that came together to satisfy your palate.

Website
http://www.tropicana.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 25th, 2012
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Tropicana Pineapple Orange Juice, 15.2-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Welch's 100% Juice Grape

Welch's 100% Juice Grape

It’s been awhile since I’ve had some grape juice. It falls under the same category as apple and orange juice in that they are around so much in stores (and occasionally the home) that you kind of forget about them and shrug them off. I’m sorry grape juice. I never should have let you fall out of my life, as you are delicious and in most instances you are way better than the juices I lump you in with. I think I mostly forgot about you, when pomegranate started showing up so much in things. To me in tastes like grape concentrate, and I guess subconsciously I was thinking that I was getting my fill of grapes. Now that I am sitting here, sipping on this juice, I know I was wrong. Grape juice, you blow pomegranate out of the water. You rely on flavor over intensity, the way things should be.

Welch’s has done a great job here. It may not be over the top spectacular juice, but for a prepackaged version it’s right on the money. It’s strong and heavy, but it’s not too intense like some juices can be. You don’t get a little stomachache after drinking a glass. If you like purple grapes, then I think it’s pretty safe to say that you will also really like this juice. After all it’s just juice and vitamin C.

Website
http://www.welchs.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 31st, 2012
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Welch's Grape Juice Cocktail, 10-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 24)

Welch's 100% Juice Apple

Welch's 100% Juice Apple

Mike is always complaining about reviewing apple juice. You see unless it’s the one out of a thousand times that it’s something out of the ordinary and exception, or complete garbage, all apple juices pretty much taste the same. I find that strange because there are so many different types of apples out there with such an array of flavors, that I can’t imagine every company uses the same type. I would expect each company to have their slightly unique version of apple juice, yet the all taste the same. Perhaps the problem is that they all mix the various apple types and the result is the standard. I guess I’m okay with that. There are types of apples that I’m not really a fan of, but I can never remember which is which. This way I don’t have to worry about buying a juice that tastes like the “bad apples.”

Welch’s you’ve done nothing new, or spectacular, here, but that’s fine. You’ve perpetuated the standard and I enjoyed it. I just don’t understand why you ship in your apple juice concentrate from China, Chile and Argentina when your company is based out of the North East which is ripe with apple orchards.

Website
http://www.welchs.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 27th, 2012
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Welch's 100% Apple Juice , 11.5-Ounce Cans (Pack of 24)

Apple & Eve 100% Juice Strawberry Mango Passion

Apple & Eve 100% Juice Strawberry Mango Passion

Legend has it that Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden for tasting the fruit from the tree of knowledge under pressure from the great snake. The fruit they ate is commonly portrayed as an apple, but that isn’t accurate at all. In fact the fruit they ate does not exist in this world. What they ate was basically a strawberry, a mango and passionfruit all rolled into one. While we’re clarifying things here, they didn’t need Satan pushing them to try the fruit. I mean if you were there wouldn’t the allure of such a fruit be enough for you to risk getting kicked out of paradise? I’m actually surprised they lasted as long as they did. No, it wasn’t the snake’s fault, they just tried to lay the blame on him to get out of trouble and pull a fast one on the man upstairs.

Since the banishment scientists have been working on recreating the holy fruit, with no luck. They just couldn’t get it to graft together properly. There are rumors that sometime around the 14th century someone created a blueberry, mango passionfruit, but really that’s not the same at all. Even modern day scientists are stumped on the genetic makeup of such a fruit. Then in 2006 a tiny juice company thought of the thing that no man of science had been smart enough to comprehend: why not just mix the juices of the three fruits? You may not get the texture, but it sure as hell tastes the same. They took about 4 hours of experimenting with the amounts of each fruit before they thought had it perfect, and perfect it was. All three fruits are distinguishable in the juice, yet when you think about it they also all combine together into some sort of new superfruit, the kind of fruit that you would risk paradise for. In an homage they named their company Apple & Eve and scientists have scorned them ever since.

Website
http://www.appleandeve.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 13th, 2012
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Ocean Spray 100% Juice Cranberry Pomegranate Cherry

Ocean Spray 100% Juice Cranberry Pomegranate Cherry

Name three fruits that are pretty intense in juice form. You chose cranberry, pomegranate and cherry all of which are correct answers. Straight up cranberry juice is pretty common and it’s not super intense, but it can be fairly bitter if it’s not sweetened properly. Have you ever drunk pure juice of the cherry or pomegranate? Now that is a wild ride. Ocean Spray has combined these three juices, along with apple and grape juices, into a concoction that is mild and pleasant. I really think it’s the apple juice that smoothes it all out, but the three main flavors are all present in their own way. The cranberries and pomegranates swirl around each other and mix way nicer than you ever would expect. The Cherry is mostly there in the aftertaste. There is no sweetener added to it, which is the way juice should be.

Wow this was a boring textbook style review. Oh well it was a great juice, but there’s really not much to say about it other than it’s awesome.

Website
http://www.oceanspray.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 14th, 2012
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Ocean Spray 100% Juice, Cranberry Pomegranate Cherry, No Sugar Added, 64-Ounce (Pack of 8)

Ocean Spray 100% Juice Cranberry Blueberry Blackberry

Ocean Spray 100% Juice Cranberry Blueberry Blackberry

Members of the board, we are in crisis mode. Sales for cranberry juice have plummeted. Our whole urinary track mega cleanse could only take us so far, and now with this "Super Fruit" craze going on the world is grabbing for pomegranate and acai drinks. We have very literally been left in the dust. Who cleans those supermarket shelves anyways? If that wasn't bad enough, with all the garbage going on in the world, no one has anything to be thankful for, so our November rush looks like it's going to be a bust.

Drastic measures need to be taken, so in my own time I developed a new juice for us. It's still cranberry based, but I've added blueberries (a super fruit for all the trend jumpers) and blackberries (the most delicious fruit known to man). It still has the tart bite of our classic cranberry juice, but it also has a wave of sweetness, and is bursting with flavor. I think it's safe to say that for all of us here this company is a labor of love. We have sworn an oath to the cranberry and we will stand by it. Hopefully this tasty mixture will turn others onto our cause, or at least get us through the next financial quarter.

Website
http://www.oceanspray.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 6th, 2011
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Ocean Spray 100% Juice, Cranberry Blueberry Blackberry, No Sugar Added, 64-Ounce (Pack of 8)
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