All Natural (26 reviews)
Elliott's Amazing All Natural Apple Cherry Berry
Everywhere Elliott went everyone constantly told him how amazing he was. It was as if he could do no wrong in the eyes of his peers. Things weren’t always this way, it all stemmed back to a couple of years ago when he went to Coney Island, before they tore it down, and made a wish on the Zoltar fortune telling machine. Why he was asked to make a wish by a machine that was supposed to tell him is fortune is something that never quite sat right with Elliott, but who was he to argue with the results? Since then everything has been coming up Milhouse….err I mean Elliott.
Elliott had always loved juice, and when he could afford it he would make his own with fresh produce from the grocer. At a family party he served some of his newest concoction (apple, cherry and strawberry juice) to his sisters husband, who just happened to be a very rich and powerful man. Do you know what he said? He exclaimed, “Elliott like you this juice is amazing! The flavors are so smooth, yet present! The cherry/strawberry combo makes it taste like you mixed the flavoring from a Fruit Roll-Up with good quality apple juice!” He then whipped out his checkbook and wrote Elliott a blank check to start a company to mass-produce the juice, along with other flavors.
It’s now been a year since that party and things have been going great. Elliot’s juice line has expanded and everyone says it’s amazing, so much so that he decided to name the company “Elliott’s Amazing.” The only fear that Elliott has is that the FDA is going to tighten up their restrictions and come down on him for saying his juice is “all natural” when it is sweetened with high fructose corn syrup. It’s only a small worry though, as he’s sure that if he gives them a bottle they will look at him and shout, “Elliott, you’re amazing!” and then give him a pass.
- Website
- http://www.elliottsamazing.com/
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 3 weeks, 6 days ago
Nantucket Nectars All Natural Half and Half
The year was 2000. Y2K had come and gone without a sound, Bill Clinton was still president, and I had just graduated from high school. After graduation, I moved into a house in Buffalo just around the corner from the coffee shop Stimulance. This coffee shop would quickly become a place I went to a lot. From getting a bagel with cream cheese in the morning, to evenings drinking Snicker-chinos (a delicious coffee drink that tasted like a burnt Snickers bar). Lets not forget their classic weekly open mic nights. Oh memories...
So why am I talking about this coffee shop that has long since closed? Well it was the first place I ever bought a bottle of Nantucket Nectars from. It was a bottle of their lemonade and I was instantly hooked. This bottle is their half and half (half lemonade, half iced tea) and it's just as good as the solo lemonade flavor. A lot of companies get the ratio all wrong, but those folks in Nantucket know what they're doing.
- Website
- http://www.nantucketnectars.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland 3 weeks, 6 days ago
Red Jacket All Natural Strawberry Apple Juice
Dear Red Jacket,
I am now under the impression that there is no juice that you cannot master, well at least not one that is apple based. Everything I have tasted that you have produced is beyond great. You take fresh fruit and cold press them into perfection. This drink has no added ingredients, just apples and strawberries. It’s the way juice should be and it tastes incredible. Each sip is like I’m picking a strawberry fresh from the patch and shoving it in my mouth, which is already overrun by delicious apples. That is something that I really feel I must do now. Does gluttony count if it’s with fruit? Isn’t that just healthy? Either way, keep doing what you’re doing and I hope that some day you will expand your juices into the realms of other fruit.
- Website
- http://www.redjacketjuice.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 4 weeks ago
Red Jacket All Natural Fuji Apple
There has been an apocalypse. You and your family are deciding what to do. Sure, solar blankets, Twinkies, Spam, et cetera. Those are given. Now it comes to hydration. Now everyone, and by everyone I mean everyone except you, is going to get water. Why water? It's the best thing for you. Yes. It's true. Here's the thing, though. Have you ever stood in line to buy something that everyone else has wanted at the same time? Think Black Friday times fifty thousand times. Everyone needs and wants one thing, everyone but you. Here's what you're going to do. You're going to go for the perishables. Everyone thinks that they need water because it doesn't expire, but have they ever thought about flavor? Yeah, who cares if it's only going to last like three days unrefrigerated. You are going to be able to sell that juice for a mint because all the watered-down people are going to crave flavor and flavor you've got.
You've got apple juice, dude. Apple juice: the purest of juices, the simplest of juices. This isn't just any apple juice, though. It's fuji apple. Red delicious is what the poor pour. Sure, it tastes like regular apple juice but a little different, more tart, and it even has regular apple juice in it. You can't have all fuji apples or else you'd be paying $10 for a small bottle of juice. This is better than basic apple juice. I'll say it. It's better. You may be able to get $10 for this juice once people are sick of water. You might want to trade some of them since it's not a terrible idea to have some water on hand.
I don't know what caused the apocalypse. It might have been that small issue where the power authority thought that they could control the market so they blew up the sun. That might be it. That or that one time you peed in the lake that one summer in 1998 because you really needed to go and the bathroom at camp had that spider that might or might not been alive but was scary right next to the toilet. One of those two things led to the apocalypse.
- Website
- http://www.redjacketjuice.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 4/15/2012
Red Jacket All Natural Grape Apple Juice
I wasn’t expecting to drink this today, but then I noticed that it was going to expire this week, so it moved to the top of the priority list. There are two ingredients in this bottle: apples and grape juice. I love that it says apples instead of apple juice, because it just makes you think of exactly how fresh this juice is. I can only assume they juice their grapes and then instantly press some apples into said grape juice. The results are beyond delicious.
Grape juice has the tendency to overpower other juices they are mixed with, but Red Jacket knows what they are doing and both juices exist in perfect harmony; neither overpowers the other to any extent. The most important thing to this juice is that there is no sweetener added to it. It’s juice and nothing more, the way things should be. It makes me never want to purchase another “shelf juice.” If it’s not in a cooler, with a short shelf life it’s pretty safe to say it is inferior to this beverage.
- Website
- http://www.redjacketjuice.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/15/2012
Mate Fusion All Natural Pomegranate
The lottery is pretty intense today. Odds are that you have a 1 in 175,711,536 chance of winning. That is, for the first time ever, not a made up arbitrary number. Imagine winning. It is undoubtedly true that you would at least contemplate buying your own plane, but that's not a smart investment. You don't leave the city limits so what business do you have owning a plane you will never use? Me? I'd move to a nicer house in the same city that I live in, but seriously, not extravagant. I would also probably not buy many new clothes. I would probably buy that stainless Rolex Datejust that I want but can't afford the bi/tri-annual maintenance fees. I would probably do everything the same with a nicer car and maybe pants that don't have holes in them.
I would continue to do this site because I enjoy doing it. I would drink gross stuff with chunks and I would also drink great drinks like this Mate Fusion. I do get a bit of pomegranate but the yerba mate is strong, brother. Strong. Bitter and strong. It was nicely sweetened but still a genuine tea at heart. It's a nice guy. It's the guy that would win the lottery that you know and are friends with that might just give you like thirty grand for "fun money." What a generous dude. What a generous tea. Thanks for giving back, tea. You're a good dude.
- Website
- http://www.matefusiondrink.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/30/2012
Red Jacket All Natural Raspberry Apple Juice
I wasn’t really prepared for this. I expected a decent juice, but not to this level. Raspberry flavored apple juice sounds great right? Well how about whole raspberries pressed into some of the finest purest apple juice you will ever taste? This bottle contains 100% cold pressed fruit. On top of that it’s made semi-locally. It seriously tastes like I’m eating fresh fruit, and I can’t get enough. It’s known that I am a glutton when it comes to drinks. My ladyfriend always complains when I ask for a sip of her beverages, because to me a sip is a quarter of the bottle (or so she says). With that in mind I am trying to take the tiniest sips possible of this, so that I can savor the flavor. This really is one of the best juices I have ever tasted. If you ever see this at your local market, don’t even hesitate to make your purchase.
- Website
- http://www.redjacketjuice.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/26/2012
Snapple All Natural Kiwi Strawberry
There is a sandwich place, or as I occasionally like to all it a "sandwich joint", the next block over from my work. Fantastic sandwiches. Fantastic. Trust me. If you ever find yourself in Buffalo and want to have lunch with me, and you are in the mood for sandwiches, that's where we're going. My boss always gets this and you've probably had it but I've been too busy drinking stuff made from pond scum and horse teeth to get around to it. I've been missing out.
Everyone's got to take their lumps and gross drinks are my method of getting them out of the way. I've cleared out my dance card and now I can drink this Snapple Kiwi Strawberry juice. You know what? You actually do this time. It's good. Now I'm talking to you. I'm not asking you any more questions. We're having a talk. It's good. I like it. It's stronger strawberry than kiwi but I feel like if you gave me this without kiwi, I might miss it, and I don't even like kiwi that much. You can discuss among yourselves about that if you disagree with it. I slammed this entire bottle without hesitation and could do it again if you dared me.
We all have to take an equal amount of lumps and I just make mine public. You know that I'm accountable for. You, man. I don't know what you've done but by the non-sounds of it, you've got a rough life ahead of you. Clear sailing for me, son!
- Website
- http://www.snapple.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/19/2012
Calamansi All Natural Cane Sugar & Honey
While on a recent trip to the Philippians Franklin went to a restaurant to get himself a nice lunch. He had spent his morning climbing and exploring the Taal volcano and had worked up quite the hunger and thirst. As he is prone to do he asked his waiter to put a lime in his water instead of a lemon. He read somewhere that lemons in restaurants are full of germs and bacteria since they are left out and workers tended to cut them with bare hands. As per usual logic did not surface in the mind of our fair protagonist and to him limes were as clean as can be. The waiter informed him that he was sorry, but the restaurant did not have any limes. Now Franklin did not like being lied to. On his way into the restaurant he had seem into the kitchen and there was crate upon crate of limes. He had even thought to himself that he had never seen so many limes in his life. To be fair you don’t run across large congregations of citrus in western Pennsylvania. Franklin began to raise his voice and it took a whole two minutes of him giving the waiter a piece of his mind before the server could get a word in edgewise to inform Franklin that those were not limes, but calamansi. He then informed his guest that it was a different sort of citrus fruit that tasted like god put a lemon, a lime and an orange in his heavenly blender and then shoved the result back into a skin that looked like a lime, but was actually sweet. Being a man who likes to get a taste for local fare, Franklin asked if he could have a wedge of calamansi in his water. His server told him he would do him one better and bring him a glass of his island famous calamansi juice. It was his grandmother’s recipe that was a mixture of the fruits juice, cane sugar and a little bit of honey for flavor. He warned Franklin that it was a bit acidic so he should not drink it on an empty stomach and urged him to eat some of the complimentary bread on the table while he went to fetch a glass. Franklin was no dummy, he knew to never fill up on free bread at a restaurant. He was a well-read man who had read that factoid somewhere (he just forgot the part about not doing that at buffets). He didn’t touch the bread and when the glass was set before him, he chugged it down like a true Pennsylvanian. The waiter had not lied this was a tasty and refreshing drink that did in fact taste like the description he gave. It also tasted like the rind was left on the fruit when it was blended, but that was not a bad thing. It had a sweetness to it, but there was not so much sugar added to eliminate the tartness of the fruit. He could also taste the honey. It wasn’t very strong, but it was there enough that he noticed it. It was basically lemonade made with this exotic fruit instead of dirty old lemons. This was something that Franklin would rave about when he got back to the States. He let out a huge burp and asked for three more glasses to be brought out. He would forgo his meal in order to fill up on this delicious juice. The waiter tried to talk some sense into him, but Franklin would not hear it. He was a grown man and he knew what was best for him, or so he thought until a half hour later when he left the restaurant with the worst gut rot of his life. Let this be a lesson to you; always have some food in your stomach when you drink something with a high citrus concentration. Franklin would never make that mistake again, well at least not until he ran into another exotic fruit that was new to him.
- Website
- http://www.simplycalamansi.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/9/2012
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Mate Fusion All Natural Black Currant Tea
I wish there were a secret meeting in a shady part of town where all of the tea magistrates met up to vote on what is and is not acceptable in the bottled tea world. Everything from the grade of the tea to the quirky names companies would want to use would be set before a committee and a vote would be held with majority rule (well either that or I wish the band Majority Rule would play a show). On top of wishing for this committee I would also expect we three Thirsty Dudes to be on the committee. I want to be a magistrate dammit! If I were the first motion I would pass would be for more companies to use yerba mate as the base of their drinks. You really don’t see enough companies using it, and I feel like it is virtually unknown amongst the masses. Actually I think it’s only been in the past 6-7 years that green tea made its way into mainstream bottled beverages. Let’s face it the world is overflowing with black tea based drinks and it’s up to us as members of this completely fabricated committee to spice things up. Mate tastes like an earthier version of green tea with a slight eucalyptus flavor to it. It’s unique and amazing.
Also, if I were on said committee I would also propose that the Mate Fusion companies teas be more widely available and have a strong hold in the market. This is not a company that I should find at a discount store (like I recently did). Their drinks are organic and all natural, the way certain tea’s should be. They do an excellent job of showing off the greatness of mate. With this flavor the distinct mate flavor is very strong. It’s rounded out with black currants, which taste like tart grapes. I would saw it falls somewhere between a grape and a cranberry. The flavor of both the fruit and the tea is strong, but neither takes away from the other. This is a wonderful tea that the world should know about. So tea makers of the world, let’s get this committee started. If you already have one, disband it and start a new one, because you’re doing a terrible job.
- Website
- http://www.matefusiondrink.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/1/2012