Aloe Vera - 3 Reviews

There were two things Johnny Snake Eyes loved in life: his switchblade and his dice. To be fair, he really only pretended to care about his blade to give him a tough appearance. He really just lived for his six sided friends. You could almost always find him in some back alley or subway platform running a game of bones. It was more than a game to him. It was a science. He knew the laws of probability and used it to advantage to always come out on top.

He took his love of the game to new levels. The only ate vegetables if they were diced. He would only take a dare if someone said it was dicey. Most importantly for our reading audience, he always had a bottle of Sappe Aloe Vera drink on him. The reason was that the aloe chunks in it were not only diced, but they were actually the exact size of his beloved shakers. Seriously, the chunks are that big and they are wonderful. His particularly enjoyed the apple variety. When he first picked up a bottle (he won it in a game of cee-lo from a worker in an Asian bodega) he had expected it to have that terrible fake apple taste, that is so specific, but in reality tastes nothing like fruit. Luckily the odds of probability were in his favor, and it did taste more like a real apple. The sugar gave it a little bit of a candied flavor, but it was mostly fruit. For that he was thankful.

Next time he's in that area, he plans on playing the shop keep again for a different flavor. It may be a while though because the comic book store that sits beside it always has a gaggle of nerds outside that always challenge him with their twenty sided die, and Johnny Snake Eyes just doesn't roll that way.

Alright, we're going out into the desert Three Amigos' style, except we want to be prepared. There will be no empty canteens and certainly none that are filled with sand. I mean the desert I speak of is actually just a local beach, but I want everything absolutely perfect for my YouTube recreation. Okay, everyone give me your canteens. My mom said I'm not allowed to come in the house wearing this “ridiculous” outfit as she put it. So I'll be filling them up with the hose. Does she not realize that this is the costume of my craft? Does she not know that I was born to reenact every movie Martin Short has ever starred in? Just wait until I'm internet famous, then she'll let me in the house to fill up my canteens! Well until then, hose water it is! Sorry they look old, they were my grandfathers from The War, I don't even know what war, so don't ask. Oh crap, I forgot I had some peach drink in here from when I went camping last summer. It doesn't smell spoiled, but that's just weird.

Ugh guys, I don't know if you want to actually use these. The combination of the hose water, the left over peach juice residue and the aloe I put on my sunburn I got from yesterday's shoot, this is a weird not-to-great drink. I guess the more you drink the better it gets, but it never really loses it's metallic hose water taste. Jimmy, that's racist saying that this taste like an Asian drink! Oh you mean it tastes exactly like an aloe drink you had on your trip to Singapore, except this doesn't have the chunks that that one had? Well I guess that's not racist, but I feel sorry that you paid for such a beverage.

Well everyone it looks like Little Neddy is not going to talk about how he filmed a movie about going to war, or mail planes. Let's move on to Innerspace. I have a cool little capsule I've been building in my shed.

You know what I love? Discovering new Asian markets. It's a great feeling because that means that a new world is open for me to discover. I went in bright and early and bought everything they had that we hadn't done, including this rocket shaped aloe drink.

So as you can see, the first thing I noticed is the packaging, which is nothing short of awesome. Ergonomically designed and rocket shaped?! Sold, dude. Sold.

Taste-wise, it's just an aloe. It's white grape flavored aloe with giant chunks. The chunks are pretty good because every one you get and chew is like a flavor explosion in your mouth. If you were a glutton and had no self-restraint, you could have a grand finale by drinking the whole container and just going chew crazy.

I liked this drink and any fan of aloe should seek it out.