Cappuccino - 7 Reviews

If bakers know one thing, it's that measurements count. "Heaping" is not a word that bakers use. "Heaping" is a work that cooks use. Learn how to measure, cooks. While making this drink, I was ordered by the Canadian Government that is Tim Horton's to use three "heaping" teaspoons to water. This drink is weak. Weak, son. Get that weak stuff out of here. I am not completely penalizing them because I could have just added more stuff but when I follow directions to their ranged rate, there is clearly room for error since "heaping" is a variable amount.

What does it taste like? It tastes like cappuccino that you might get from a gas station but not as good. Something about those crappy gas station blends are good. It's just that it's so much like an adult hot chocolate that it borders on just a mockery of coffee related drinks and pure, unadulterated garbage. As for the English Toffee, eh, I guess if you left a Heath bar in a crappy cup of cappuccino that it would taste a bit like this so that is a pass. This whole drink is a pass. If this were a graded class, it would be a C+. It would do better on a pass/fail scale where everyone is either one or the other with no quality, just pass or fail.

The coffee machine at your office has been on the fritz all week, which means that you have had to bring your own caffeinated beverage into work. The thing is that today your alarm didn't go off for some reason. Luckily your internal clock woke you up, but with only 20 minutes to get to the office. So it was get up, brush your teeth, drag a comb through your hair, put on a suit and you're out the door. You didn't even have time to stop at a gas station for the sludge that they deem fit to call coffee. As a result of all of this you have been a wreck all day. You're sluggish and you can't concentrate because you haven't eaten since you grabbed Taco Bell on the way home from work the day before. You're a mess.

You know it's not something that any human should do, but you still go into the break room and look for some food to steal out of the communal fridge. Sure, it's not the most moral thing to do, but the GM is coming in shortly and if she sees you like this, it probably wouldn't bode well for your career. The fridge is full of Tupperware containers full of moldy leftovers. Doesn't anyone ever clean this thing out? Things are looking grim. You're about to give up when you move a container of soup that is dated seven months ago and behind it is this bottle of Havana diet vanilla cappuccino. You find yourself thinking that you should probably rethink your stance on the existence of god as you look around and grab the bottle. You scurry away to your cubicle and crack the seal. After a gulp you think that it isn't half bad. Sure the milk to coffee ratio seems about even, which is more than you usually like, but it has a nice vanilla flavor to it, so you feel a little fancy. After that each sip gets harder and harder to get down. The taste of the Splenda is getting stronger by the second. Diet coffee; is there anything worse for someone who normally drinks it black? By the time you finished the bottle you're feeling more normal. You're stomach has a little something in it, and you've got a little caffeine buzz going on. The only downfall is you can taste the Splenda seeping out of your gums, and that is something you never want to experience again. What do you expect from a drink that was abandoned at least seven months ago?

I've been waking up a lot earlier than normal for the past month or two. I'm sure my early is sleeping in for most people, but I've been getting up without an alarm at 9/9:30 and for me that is a miracle. I'm used to getting up at 11 or noon. What can I say I live a life of leisure? I blame the gym for this. Damn getting healthy making me wake up early. I'm actually more than okay with it. I've been getting more things done in the morning and that works for me. The only downfall is that when my ladyfriend and I have our nightly Venture Bros watching, I've been nodding out by one (which may also late for most people). I'm also okay with that for the most part, but tomorrow morning I'm going on tour with Cheap Girls, so I feel like I should be awake to hang out while I'm home. My solution was to drink this coffee drink at 10pm. Yeah, I'm not going to be sleeping tonight, but I can sleep in the van so who cares?

My solution drink is exactly how I like my coffee drinks: overly sweet and tasting of chocolate more than coffee. Before I shook this up there was actually a layer of chocolate at the bottom that needed to be mixed in. In reality this tastes more like chocolate milk with a splash of coffee in it than coffee with a hint of chocolate. If you ever wanted to start to get a child hooked on coffee I suggest starting them out with a nice bottle of Frio!

Dear employees at this fine company. I have an admission to make. Look folks, I should tell you that I am not the best as measuring. I have ruined every cake I've ever made. I have made a lot of money in this business and have bought a very nice oven and it works perfectly. I cannot blame the oven for my consistently burnt cookies and cupcakes. It's the fact that I get all messed up and backwards when it comes to teaspoons, tablespoons, cups, grams, yards, gallons, ounces, and the like. For that, I apologize in advance.

The reason I bring you in here is because I have once again failed the exam and messed up the mix. For this run of our Frio Cappuccino, I have calculated that we add more water than we're supposed to add. There are pros and cons to this. Pro: we get to make more and the cost per bottle is less. Con: we get a watered down cappuccino. Now I've tasted it and I've got to be honest, it's not terrible but it tastes like it should have more body to it. I might add less sugar, too, but that's not why I called you in here.

This isn't going to close the factory. We've done well for ourselves, but we might make a little less on this than we did on any of our previous endeavors. If someone could just review my math next time we prepare to put a drink out, that would be great. There is pizza in the break room for anyone interested. If you aren't interested, why aren't you interested? It's pizza.

Gentlemen we are in a predicament. The entire 90's coffee shop fad is finally collapsing and it is seriously affecting the industry. Sure we still have all of the customers that we got hooked back then, but how are we to hook young kids. The whole attraction to the counter culture has gone out the window. In fact the counter culture has become the main culture. The idea of a man with an orange Mohawk and a boa constrictor around his neck has become commonplace. Coffee shops used to be a mysterious place that was for the artists and the “freaks.” Now they are full of college kids with laptops. The youth doesn't want to be like college kids. That is what is expected of them. They are attracted to the cool and unusual. On top of that it seems that a lot of diner style restaurants are putting a ban on kids just hanging out there. Where are earth are these kids supposed to get hooked on coffee? Our quick fix solution is to create and market drinks that are coffee based, but also that don't exactly taste like coffee. We'll make the labels look attractive and hopefully it will become an item of interest for youngsters. Our research shows that while kids could care less about the word “latte” that “cappuccino” is still alluring to them. It sounds grown up and dangerous. Due to this our first beverage in this line will be a cappuccino. The problem is that kids need to be acclimated to the taste of coffee, so we're going to put a bunch of cream and sugar in it, and to top it off a healthy dollop of vanilla flavoring. The result is closer to a vanilla hot chocolate than coffee, but the kids will associate it with coffee, and the trace amounts of coffee flavor in it will work on their taste buds. Gentlemen, I think we're on to something here and this could save our entire industry for future generations. Now someone get me a cup of black coffee, this is really a drink for kids and people who aren't serious coffee drinkers.

I don't know where I got this. I know why I got it, though. Answer; because it was there. This is not a fantastic representation of mocha cappuccino. I promise to you that if you're looking for a "quality" drink, you won't find it constrained within the glass walls of this bottle. It's terrible fake tasting like they had some chocolate milk, cut it in half, poured bad instant, powder mocha cappuccino into to it, skipped all the "red tape" one would need to put out something legit and pushed it right to market. I probably got this on sale. The same people also make these chocolate milks that just tasted unpure.

Look. I enjoy a nice, sweet garbage drink. Give me a Nesquik in those gargantuan thirty-two ounce bottles and I will use all the strength inside of me to not Gregory House the whole thing. This is half that size and I'm going to probably have no choice but to dump half of that. Strong percentages. Weak drink. I don't know why a company called "North American Beverage" would market a drink called Havana. I do appreciate, slightly, that illustration of the most 80's bottle I've ever seen. It looks like it should be on the wall of a victim's house in Miami Vice. I felt like I should have been wearing a Panama hat and a Panama Jack shirt that I would have had to scour multiple Salvation Army's to find just to fully appreciate this drink. Since I'm wearing a fifteen-year-old hoodie that is ill fitting, this drink did not deliver.

Dudes, this tour has been great. We've been to 26 states and we're on our way home. I can't believe we got up and out of the hotel so early after last night. Dude, you threw a chair out the window of a 28 story hotel into a swimming pool, and that...is neat. Let me stop on to this Arby's and get a jamocha shake.

Oh, crap. Now I've got this shake and I've got to pump gas. I don't know why we would get an RV and not get a driver. Seems dumb. So now I've got to put down my milkshake and pump 80 gallons of gas.

Great, done. I smell like gas, but who cares because I've got this...oh, come on. My milkshake melted. Why didn't you turds move it from the dashboard? I'll still drink it, but if I wanted cappuccino, I would have bought cappuccino. I wanted a milkshake. Drats.

Seriously, if this is gross...it's not bad. It basically tastes like a melted jamocha shake. You guys are lucky that it's still drinkable. If it weren't, I would have quit like I almost did in Nebraska. Why you threw your drumsticks at me still doesn't make sense. So I stole your snare drum and ran around with it. Who cares? Don't get so upset. You took all the strings off my bass before we went on set and then the roadie, who didn't pump the gas because he's thoughtless, brought it on stage and didn't check. Idiot. Next stop, Kansas City!