Cooler (2 reviews)

Trader Joe's Cooler Watermelon Cucumber

Trader Joe's Cooler Watermelon Cucumber

Ahh summertime. Hot dogs raining from clouds made of hamburgers. The air filled with the scent of noodle salad and freshly cut grass. That's what summer is all about. I found something we can add to the mix and it is this drink. Watermelon cucumber? Are you kidding me? Summer, dude. Well, I don't know if people are making...wait...I'm on to something...pizza...where the pizza is a slice of watermelon and the pepperoni is cucumber...Mike, you're a genius. I'd like to patent pend this, please, if you don't mind. I'll be right back, hold on.

I just got back from the patent office and you can't patent the idea of putting vegetables on fruit for some reason unless you sell it as a product which I don't have the energy for but if you'd like to take it and run with it, I ask for ten percent of all sales.

Why should this be another staple in summertime drinking? Watermelon is a limited time, summer fruit. Ever eat watermelon in winter because it blows. Cucumber is fine year 'round but teamed up with his (or her) friend watermelon. BAM! Summertime Emeril style. Great watermelon taste with a light cucumber aftertaste all while not having to deal with any syrupy garbage. What more could you ask for? Oh, the hot dogs from the burger clouds are spoiling in the street? Yeah, but it cut down on your dog food spending, didn't it? Not so bad after all.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 28th, 2014
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Marburger Farm Dairy Cooler Cherry

Marburger Farm Dairy Cooler Cherry

Tea is wonderful. Tried and true, it has been perfected by some to a T. Those people did not make this tea. When I saw this tea in Derek's closet of drinks, I wanted it. I didn't tell him, but I wanted it. A nice sweet tea with cherry? I'll take it. When Derek was shedding weight for an easier move, I got this. Stoked. Today, to quench my thirst I could wait no longer.

I should have known that it wasn't going to be wonderful from the start. The first ingredients are sucrose, high fructose corn syrup, and instant tea powder. That's a slew of garbage if I've ever heard it. I enjoy sweet tea. As a matter of fact, I love it. This, friends, is not sweet tea. This is cherry juice with tea powder in it. Maybe tea powder with cherry powder in it. This is a drink. It's not classifiable, to me at least, as a tea or juice. It's just a drink. It tastes like bad instant tea mixed with bad cherry flavoring. It tastes like something you would make at home as an experiment, not like, and promptly throw out because it just didn't work like you expected it to in your head.

I understand you have a creative mind, Marburger Farm Dairy. I appreciate it. I really do. I have drunk hundreds of drinks and I have never had a cherry iced tea. After drinking this drink, I can unfortunately still say that.

Website
http://www.marburgerdairy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 14th, 2012
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