Energy (37 reviews)

Hype Energy Up Maximum Punch

Hype Energy Up Maximum Punch

From Poland, to Knoxville, TN, and then all the way to Buffalo, NY this brand is quite a world traveler. The question is was all of that travelling worth it? I mean they are bringing that standard blend of energy drink flavor to the people with their original blend, but so are about fifty other companies, many doing it “locally.” To stand out Hype decided to switch things up and while they were doing so they slipping and smashed their dang face on the way down. This drink is definitely a misstep. It has that children’s chewable vitamin flavor that most energy drinks have, but along with that they decided to mix the taste of children’s aspirin as well as some adult vitamins. Perhaps that wouldn’t have been so bad if it sat underneath a nice fruit punch flavor, but things got all mixed up and the fruit punch is the minor flavor in here and all the weirdness is so much stronger than it. It’s like someone watered down Hawaiian Punch and then ground up a whole mess of vitamins and aspirin and mixed it in. It’s not the best. Functionally it works great and I got the much needed energy I was looking for on an overnight drive, but I was really forcing myself to get through this can.

Website
http://www.hype.com/
Country
Poland
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 20th, 2018
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Naked Nutrition Energy Fruit Punch

Naked Nutrition Energy Fruit Punch

Oh boy, this one is a doozy! We don’t review many non-ready-to-drink beverages, but when a company contacts us about sending samples for review we aren’t going to say no. I mean, they are still things you drink, it just takes a little more work on your end. I was really expecting to be sent a one serving sample of this, but Naked were very nice and sent a full sized 1lb container. It is much appreciated.

So it’s been a slow Sunday in mid-April and the weather is pure garbage. I had no plans this afternoon, so I decided to go to the gym and take this for a test drive. The directions say to mix one of two scoops into 8oz of water (or your favorite beverage and mix it thoroughly. The nutritional facts say that one serving is two scoops so I did just that. Unfortunately I have to say that it did not taste all that pleasant. The fruit punch flavor was very much overshadowed by the taste of supplements. It’s a bit chemically. I would advise someone to mix it into something other than water to avoid that. If I use it again I’m going to try mixing it into some vanilla seltzer, which seems weird to drink before working out. I’m gonna be all burps.

Okay, so the flavor is not all that great. That can be acceptable, as it is a functional product and not meant for the pleasure of one’s taste buds. This is some strong stuff though. It’s meant to help push you in your workouts and give you “clean” energy. I can attest that it does that very much. I also had some side effects though. Now, it’s happened very rarely, but it has happened that I have gotten the “Niacin Flush” from certain strong energy drinks. For those who don’t’ know what that is, it is when you take too much vitamin B3 and you get warm, look like you have a sunburn, and experience a tingly/burning /itchy sensation. In the past when it has happened It was in my face and top of my head. With this product my whole body felt insane. If I didn’t know what it was I would have been highly concerned, searched Wed MD and convinced myself I was dying from some exotic disease. Being in the know, I just went on with my workout and this product definitely pushed me more than I normally would have. I did feel completely crazy the entire time and was just aware of my entire body. Then when I toweled off sweat my body just wanted to be touched more (not like that you creep). I’ve never taken Ecstasy, but from how I’ve seen it portrayed in movies and tv, I’m guessing it feels like this to a way crazier extent. Keep in mind I’m not saying this will happen to everyone, but I would suggest starting off with only one scoop and see how that works out for you. I’m going to try again in a few days on my next gym outing and lower my dose and see how that treats me. Hopefully not feeling like a maniac.

Website
http://nkdnutrition.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Mix/Concentrate, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 15th, 2018
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Hype Energy MFP Sugar Free

Hype Energy MFP Sugar Free

What does MFP stand for? Major Focused Power? Majestic Forest Provider? Metallica Forever Peeps? Ohh Ohh, maybe it’s Milk for President. All of the above are wrong. After some internet searching it came out that it actually means Money From Patience, wait no that’s not it either. It’s really “Most Full Power.” Seeing as it’s originally from the Netherlands and this is made in Poland I will chalk that up to a poor translation, though my times I’ve spend in both countries the English people spoke was not broken at all. The name isn’t all that exciting, but the cryptic MFP with no explanation on the can gets the desired effect.

Names aside the flavor of this is what is to be expected from a diet energy drink. It tastes like liquid candy that had all its sugar replaced with a zero calorie substitution. It’s nothing new, it’s nothing exciting, but it gets the job done. Normally it’s hard for me to drink a full diet beverage, but the base flavor of energy drinks is either strong to enough to mask, or blends in with the sucralose garbage flavor and it makes it palatable. So it’s got that going for it.

Website
http://www.hype.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 8th, 2018
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Monster Energy Unleaded

Monster Energy Unleaded

This is…odd. I don’t mean that it tastes strange, it’s actually very pleasant. The unusual thing about this energy drink is that they went out of their way to make it caffeine free (get it? Unleaded). The little blurb on the can says that it’s so people who enjoy the taste of Monster, but who are also sensitive to caffeine can still enjoy it. My question is caffeine really the ingredient that people get all jittery over? I mean I do have a sensitivity (read: I’m not addicted so it serves its intended purpose and doesn’t just make me “normal.”) but I feel like it’s more the taurine that gets me all crazy. Natural energy drinks don’t affect me the same way as Monster and it’s brethren do. This is still loaded with B vitamins, niacin, taurine, ginseng and the like, so it still gave me a boost. It seems odd to me and not something there would be a big market for. If it serves its purpose to allow people to get where they need to go, good for it.
Overall it tastes like a slightly diet regular Monster; all sweet like chemical candy. Can we take a moment to acknowledge that energy drinks are the only beverage that diet versions don’t taste absolutely disgusting? This is sweetened with sugar as well as sucralose and it doesn’t taste like poison at all. The other flavors just mask the diet death taste in all the right ways.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 12th, 2016
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Monster Energy Gronk

Monster Energy Gronk

You know what we need? A new poster child for a specific demographic. Not since James Dean have we had a person who identifies a people. No we do. Rob Gronkowski is this generation's James Dean. Like it or not, he embodies all that is today's youth. I bet he wears a backwards baseball hat. I bet he fist bumps no less than fourteen times per day. You know what else? I bet he could beat the living tar out of me on his worst day. Rob Gronkowski could have non-stop diarrhea for a week and still whoop me. Rob Gronkowski could have lost a limb in a bar room brawl, be hopped up on painkillers and wear glasses with wildly poor prescriptions and still knock my block off.

That being said, his drink might be the best Monster I've had. Yeah, it tastes like what fruit would taste like if you wrapped it in quotes and was made exclusively from chemicals but hey, as far as taste is concerned, it's the best that Monster has to offer. Could I drink a whole bottle? No sir or ma'am. Could Rob Gronkowski drink one? Rob Gronkowski probably adds it to his Trix instead of milk. Rob Gronkowski probably wears it as cologne and pulls down more in one night than I have my entire life.

Rob Gronkowski. King among bro-men.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 23rd, 2016
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V8 Energy Orange Pineapple

V8 Energy Orange Pineapple

Tommy, you have been drinking far too many energy drinks. I can assure you that they are not improving your gaming skills. Sure, they might help you stay up until the early hours of the morning, but you're a teenage you should have no problem staying up that late anyway. I mean you don't wake up until noon. Fine, I can't handle your whining, you can have some sort of energy drink, but it has to be one of these natural ones and not that chemical swill you and your friends like to down. Also, you have to agree to go outside and have fun with your friends. Go and cause a little trouble, you're young that's what you're supposed to do, not sit in front of the TV all summer. Good, then it's a deal. Here have this can of V8. Don't look at me like that it isn't that gross tomato juice stuff, V8 has expanded their line. This is sweet potato and carrot juice with fruit juice and green tea extract mixed in. Trust me, it tastes fantastic. You don't even notice the juices except for the orange and pineapple. It has some underlying flavor that I can't really place, but it just makes it taste more interesting.

Tommy, the thing about this energy drink is that it won't give you the jitters and will make you actually play your games better with steady hands. See I'm looking out for you. It's just caffiene and B vitamins. It's also on the healthier side because it's 34% juice and it's low in calories. I know you don't care about these things, but I'm your parent and it's my duty to look out for you when it comes to these things. Okay now live up to your end of the deal and go outside. I'm calling Johnny house and if you're there you're grounded mister!

Website
http://www.v8juice.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea, Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 26th, 2015
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V8 V-Fusion Orange Pineapple Energy Drink, 8 Fl Oz Cans (Pack of 24)

Hard Rock Energy Original

Hard Rock Energy Original

I don’t know about all of you folks, but when I think of “hard rock” the first thing I think of is a Flying V guitar. I mean it’s the only tool to get the job done when you’re looking to rock, and you mean to do it hard. Wait….no…that’s not right. Actually, now that I think about it never once in my life did I think that a Flying V looked cool. I’ve actually passed negative judgement on bands in the past before I even heard note one, because they were playing these monstrosities of instruments. Just say no to tacky guitars.

I’m not even sure if I’ve ever stepped foot in a Hard Rock Cafe. I may have once, but it also could have been a Planet Hollywood. I remember an ex’s family took me and it was cheesy, the food was bad and it was in Niagara Falls. Am I wrong? Are they cool? Should I start collecting shirts/hats from their locations all over the world? By this beverage I’m guessing no. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a “classic” tasting energy drink. This tastes like a generic Red Bull with a little bit of a berry taste to it. It’s got that chemical taste that you love to hate, and the flavor is nothing new.

My real question is why is a restaurant expanding into beverages like this? I found it in a local grocery store and it just doesn’t make sense to me. It’s not like they are famous for them or anything. It’s just completely random.

Website
http://www.hardrockenergydrink.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 25th, 2015
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none

Rip It Energy Tribute Active - Mandarin Live Wild Lime

Rip It Energy Tribute Active - Mandarin Live Wild Lime

If this beverage is supposed to be a tribute to American soldiers who are in the armed forces, Rip It surely does not think much of them or this country. One would think that if you are honoring something you would put some time and energy into creating something that is of at least a minimum of quality. Rip It only delivers a soda that is as generic as can be that is extremely lightly flavored to an extent that it seems like they were running out of flavor syrup so they stretched it out by adding far too much water. Nothing about this tastes like an energy drink, which can be nice sometimes, but not when the flavor that replaces it is so unremarkable.

This drink tells me that Rip It hates the troops and wants them to drink this gross generic beverage. I bet this is what would have been given to the troops when they came home from Vietnam and people spit on them.

Website
http://www.ripitenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 21st, 2014
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16 Pack - Rip It Energy - Tribute - 16oz.

Popeye Energy Anchorin' Apple

Popeye Energy Anchorin' Apple

Popeye is back on the scene doing what he does best, using spinach to get amped. That was the whole purpose of this character right? He was a construct of Big Spinach to encourage children to eat this leafy greenness? Everything is pretty much the same, except now he’s hiding the spinach in juice based energy drinks. I’m fine with that. I would also be fine with eating it outright, as I do that all the darn time.

This is an energy beverage that is 70% juice. That’s a high percentage in this game, and us here at Thirsty Dudes appreciate it. While this doesn’t taste like biting into a nice juicy apple, it also does not taste like fake apple candy garbage. That flavor is the worst. Probably the worst mass-produced flavor this country has ever be subjected to.

The white grape juice in here is paired up with the apple and the result is something that is a new beast altogether. Green apples and white grapes together make light green grapples, right? That is a fruit I would be all over.

This reminds me a lot of Tango Apple from the UK. I am most definitely a fan of it. The folks at Popeye suggested that we also try it hot, so I did just that. Heated, this tastes way more like hot green apple juice. It leaves you with an energy kick that would be fitting for a nice chilly autumn day. I prefer it cold, but everyone has they preferences, so maybe you would like it hot. Who am I to know?

Website
http://www.popeyeenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Energy Drink, Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 10th, 2014
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Popeye Energy Clobberin Clementine

Popeye Energy Clobberin Clementine

Did Popeye ever ingest anything other than spinach? I mean I know he was always smoking a pipe, which I’m sure smelled amazing, but in any of the comics, cartoons or the movie (where Shelley Duvall played the role she was born for) did they ever show the character of Popeye ever eating or drinking anything else? To be honest I haven’t watched/read any of them in probably 15-20 years, but I will assume he only eats spinach. By that logic one would assume that his personal energy drink would contain some spinach. That is not the case. In fact, not only does this energy drink not have spinach, but it also has no taurine, or any of that other fake garbage that is in 99% of energy drinks. This is solely carbonated juice (white grape, apple and clementines) with some caffeine and vitamins added to it. There isn’t even any added sugar. The result is my new favorite energy drink. Sure for those of you out there that drink a keg of coffee a day this will probably have no effect, but for those like myself that don’t consume much caffeine, it’s working just fine. This is the healthier side of energy drinks and I support it whole-heartedly. The clementines taste is very strong, so if you like a more bitter orange, get on this train. The aftertaste is more of the grape and apple juice, but when you first take a sip you get a nice punch in the tonsils with some tiny oranges.

Oh a side note, after watching some videos on Youtube I am convinced that if Shelley Duvall was younger now, she could be an indie darling. The young kids would eat these vocals up, check it out.

Website
http://www.popeyeenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Energy Drink, Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 9th, 2013
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