Energy Potion - 2 Reviews

I hate these damn kids who are trying to be vampires. I know people who work in banks are always afraid of being robbed, but who would have thought a blood bank would be robbed on a regular basis? Have there always been teenagers who want to be vampires? Bram Stoker wrote Dracula back in 1897 so they have been a part of popular culture for over 100 years. I obviously wasn't alive back then but I can only assume it inspired some kids to want to drink blood. The earliest vampire craze I can remember vividly is when Buffy: The Vampire Slayer came out but I was still delivering papers back then. Ever since these stupid Twilight books and movies have become popular, I've had at least 3 nerdy teenagers a week trying to steal blood while I work the overnight shift.

Luckily I've discovered something to outsmart them. Harcos Labs makes this Blood Energy Potion that looks just like a pouch of blood. I've started to hang them up in front of the real blood pouches so when the kids run in and grab them, they don't get the good stuff. The jokes on them because this stuff tastes like bubble gum that's been soaking in a cup of fruit punch. The high-energy content will also make them twitch. I can only hope that it solves the problem and these kids get a life.

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We originally reviewed this for a Halloween drink article we did for Auxiliary Magazine. To read the full article and to check out the awesome magazine go to http://auxiliarymagazine.com.

Are you sick and tired of worrying about the impending zombie apocalypse? Does it keep you up at night thinking about the day when you and your family will be attacked and the walking dead will rip the flesh from your bones in order to get to your sweet, sweet brain nectar? Harcos Laboratories has a new product to put your mind at ease.

After years of research, and movie watching, it was scientifically proven that zombie's do not attack their own kind. With this knowledge Harcos employees worked long and hard in the lab to come up with a syrup derived from actual zombie blood that will cause the imbiber to give off certain pheromones that will trick the living dead into thinking you have already been turned. In layman's terms your brains will smell like butt-soup to them instead of sizzling prime rib.

It's lucky for us that zombie blood in its natural state tastes like melted green freezie pops. The difference is that downing this I.V. pouch won't make you cough like the dickens. Unlike the mind, it's not a terrible thing to taste. It is also has added ingredients to give you extra energy to run to safety in case you are in the .01 percentile that are unaffected by the blood of reanimated corpses.


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We originally reviewed this for a Halloween drink article we did for Auxiliary Magazine. To read the full article and to check out the awesome magazine go to http://auxiliarymagazine.com.