Frappuccino (11 reviews)

Starbucks Frappuccino Vanilla

Starbucks Frappuccino Vanilla

I went to Target last week to get some supplies for the sudden cold that overtook my body and saw that they were having a sale on a bunch of their beverages (buy $20 worth get a $5 gift card). I decided to use this as an opportunity to fill in some Thirsty Dudes gaps. I was pretty surprised to realize that we had not reviewed this one yet. In fact, I just checked our Master List for the third time, because I swore I had written about this little one before.

Let me start by saying there are two ways that I really like coffee; a nice smooth cold brew and a dessert coffee. This falls into the later. I like to see coffee as a treat and not just a daily routine. That may be because I would fall into the large percentile of Americans who are obese if I were to drink it all the time, since I generally like it sweet. This is like someone made a nice vanilla milkshake and threw in a shot of espresso. Just as they did so the phone rang and it was their mother, whose calls that kept forgetting to return and it turned into a long conversation about how well their siblings were doing and when are they going to meet someone nice and settle down. By the end of this exhausting conversation the milkshake had gone and melted on them. Whatever, they’ll drink it anyways. Now you don’t have to go through that whole ordeal to have this treat. You can keep dodging those calls and just grab a bottle of this from the store. It’s milky, It’s sweet and it lightly tastes like coffee. It’s a dessert drink.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 4th, 2018
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Starbucks Frappuccino Dark Chocolate Mocha

Starbucks Frappuccino Dark Chocolate Mocha

Ahhh Big Lots, where seasonal drinks go to die. Well at least until a year passes and they rise from the ashes of discount stores to achieve premium prices once again. Look, the chances of me spending $3+ for a 9.5oz bottle of iced coffee are very slim, even if it is delicious. The chances of me paying $.80 for them a few months after the holiday season that is depicted on the label? Let me grab a case or two and finish them within a week.

This is something else. I hesitate to even call it a coffee drink because it is so far buried under a delicious mountain of peppermint and chocolate that I wonder if it’s there at all. Do you know what the best decision they made about this drink was? To use dark chocolate. Do you know who prefers milk chocolate? Kids and those with weak taste buds. The same people who would put ketchup on eggs or mac and cheese. Those are the same people who probably shouldn’t be drinking coffee, no matter how much it’s hidden in a beverage. People with developed palates appreciate dark chocolate. These people also want to throw all of their fancy tastes out the window and enjoy a sugary nonsense treat and pretend they are kids again. That’s it, this drink is for adult children and I am proud to be part of those ranks.

For a second I wondered why they didn’t just change the label of this and make it available year round. Then I closed my eyes as I took a sip and all I could think about was Christmas and the winter. Like nog it is tied to the season. You can certainly enjoy it other times of year, but I challenge you to drink a bottle and not think of the holidays. It’s like someone made hot chocolate out of a nice dark chocolate(with a bit of coffee in it I suppose) and then melted candy canes in it before chilling it and somehow making it a bit frothy.

ps. This was my last bottle. I should have bought another case and a diabetes testing kit that I would have certainly needed. 33g of sugar in 9.5oz is a lot.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 30th, 2017
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Starbucks Frappuccino Unicorn

Starbucks Frappuccino Unicorn

I don't understand what just happened. Every sip was different and every sip was strange. It was sour in some sips and just an explosion of some sort of mystery fruit in others. There were also glitter sprinkle sparkles on top.

I don't know what the flavor was. Was it strawberry? I think I read mango somewhere but if I put one next to the other, it wouldn't have been whatever I tasted in this. I mean, is "cotton candy" a fruit? It tasted like cotton candy at some points. Who is this for? Within the ten minutes that I was there, they sold a rather copious amount of them so they're doing something right. It won't last long but if it was up to me, I would have drank a dozen of that illusive Polar Unicorn Kiss that I/we never got to try before I would drink another one of these. Was it bad? I cannot even answer that question. It truly was made of the barf of unicorns.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Other/Weird, Smoothie
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 19th, 2017
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Starbucks Frappuccino S'Mores

Starbucks Frappuccino S'Mores

I'm glad they invented smaller cups. Who would have thought? I mean, I feel like we were here and, like cell phones, they got bigger and bigger. I've got a fifty-two ounce cup on my desk right now. Ten ounces of this Frappuccino is all I need. Also, "need" is not at all the word that should have been used. I do not "need" this at all in my life. This isn't curing cancer. This is not giving people jobs. Sure, people work at Starbucks but this s'more Frappuccino is not keeping them afloat. Sure I paid over four dollars which I find appalling but nonetheless, I bought it and we're here.

How was it? Just as good as you would have hoped. It was sweet but not too much. There was a lot of cream on top which fluffed it up a bit. Chocolate crammed to the bottom and mystery in the middle. I honestly have no idea what makes up a Frappuccino because this one didn't taste like coffee one iota. It tasted like liquified Honey Grahams dipped in Hershey syrup. If that doesn't sound good to you, you are either on a diet or you hate fun. If you hate fun, I don't know what you're doing reading these reviews because they're nothing but fun. That was sarcasm. Time spent reading this review would be better spent watching paint dry. Go paint a fence, Huck Finn. If you want to watch paint dry, cut the bottom quarter of your pants off, use "the N" word, and sail downstream on a boat made of tree trunks. Did he use "the N" word? I don't know if I've ever read Huck Finn. I'm really dumb.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 17th, 2015
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Starbucks Frappuccino S'Mores

Starbucks Frappuccino S'Mores

"Here. Come try this," my boss says to me. Since I am rarely on the other side of that statement, I had no choice but to accept the request. I thought it was going to be a bad invitation but it was actually a "Here. Come try this. It's good." not "Here. Come try this. It's gross." which is the route I enjoy taking.

Did it taste like smores? Yes, sir or ma'am. Well, I should say that it tasted like the ingredients of smores. Think of a deconstructed smore. You initially get the coffee from the Frappuccino itself followed by a split second of chocolate, then a lot of marshmallow and then some graham cracker. They're all there but at different times. It's fine by me. It was a nice jolt of flavor to wake up my day and feed my recent childish addiction to smores. Never lose your inner child. Smores are a gift and a treat and a treasure.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 13th, 2015
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Starbucks Frappuccino Hazelnut

Starbucks Frappuccino Hazelnut

Someday I will find a hazelnut and eat it. Will it taste like chocolate? Probably not. Will it taste like a nut? Probably. It will probably come in a shell that I cannot crack so I will end up putting it on the ground and stepping on it or hitting it with a rock like some sort of caveman. These actions will most defiantly crush the insides and I will have to climb a tree to get another one. Do they come from trees? Probably, right? I am hordiculturally an idiot.

Does this drink taste like Nutella? You know you're asking because anytime I read "hazelnut" I think of Nutella and why wouldn't I? It's a wonderful thing. So does it? Eh, not really. There is enough coffee taste in there that it's not like a liquefied spread. If you want to think of this as a mocha, you would be pretty much right. I might be able to tell the difference if I had them side by side but since I'm not made of money nor do I feel the need to drink two Frappuccinos back to back like some sort of ignorant college student who's cramming for an eight o'clock economics 101 final. For that reason I will say that this tastes like a chocolaty, caramelly, coffee drink that is very cold. It’s like an adult Slurpee. Starbucks, if you want to use that internally, you can. All I ask is that you give me some sort of royalties. A drink a week? You can afford that. I can call the shots here. I'm in the driver seat and I know what I'm doing.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 25th, 2013
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Starbucks Frappuccino Mocha

Starbucks Frappuccino Mocha

Does anyone else out there think that iced mocha drinks are the adult equivalent to chocolate milk? Like most prepackaged versions I have tried this is a very milky drink that has a nice blend of chocolate and coffee added to it, oh and a healthy heap of sugar. If you are a hardcore black coffee drinker this certainly is not for you, but if you like fancier gateway coffee drinks, step right up my friend. Seriously, if this were labeled coffee flavored chocolate milk, I wouldn’t even question it, and kids would be getting all sorts of hopped up on caffeine. Now that is something this world doesn’t need. Lay off the caffeine kids, you have enough natural energy as it is.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 26th, 2013
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Starbucks Coffee Frappuccino Coffee Drink Mocha, 9.5 Ounce Bottles-(pack of 12)

Starbucks Frappuccino Salted Caramel Mocha

Starbucks Frappuccino Salted Caramel Mocha

Today, for National Frappe Day, I voluntarily bought this Frappuccino. I made a wise decision with this flavor. Nothing compliments a brisket taco like a salted, caramel, mocha, coffee drink. What a monumental day, a new drink for me, and a new taco offered by a place that I frequent frequently. I had to celebrate this "almost" holiday in style and getting this guy made it.

The mix between all these flavors is just awesome. The salt makes it a little more "adult." Kids just don't understand that salted sweets can be a wonderful thing. This past weekend I bought chocolate covered pretzel sticks. Salt and sweet: a great thing. The salt is always there but it's an undertone to the frontrunners that are mocha (coffee and chocolate) and caramel.

Now I watched the dude make this drink with complete apathy but process and procedure is process and procedure and because of these rules and guidelines, he added actual sea salt. Gritty, delicious, ideal sea salt. No cheap, garbage, table salt. Actual sea salt. I would have had no problem with a little bit of salty crunch in my drink but I completely understand why Starbucks doesn't think that everyone doesn't have the worldly palate like us three Thirsty Dudes.

Starbucks and to a lesser extent, McDonalds and Burger King; I wish you a happy National Frappe Day. We at Thirsty Dudes honored this day in the rightful and just way.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 4th, 2012
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Starbucks Frappuccino Cookies & Cream

Starbucks Frappuccino Cookies & Cream

For a limited time is such a good marketing phrase. It really forces you to get your finances in place and to make sure you purchase an item before that limited time is over. You never know when it's going to end and sometimes you don't know when it started. You just know that you're smack-dab in the middle of the deal of a century and if you wait on it, you may never get another chance to do it again. A lot of times, these limited time items go away and don't come back and when you don't catch it in time, you kick yourself until they come out with another product that you are sure to snap up.

This was one of those limited time items and I'm glad that Jay jumped on it because it's pretty great. It's coffee in a pretty minimal sense but a pretty strong cookies and cream taste. The combination together is enough for me to give Jay a kiss right on the lips because I'm getting sad at the fact that I've got about one sip left in this bottle. You know a drink is good when you drink it, enjoy the flavor, and then when you start losing it, you drink again because you don't want to be without that taste in your mouth. It's like you are scared to miss it, like normal people unlike Jay and myself feel about girlfriends. It's not our fault. We still feel that emotion but it's our crappy girlfriend experiences that have ruined us for our current ones. They're very understanding. Saddened at the fact that we are dead inside but understanding in that we at least treat them with respect. I haven't been let down by this drink, though, and until I do, I will miss it, like the deserts miss the rain.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 28th, 2012
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Starbucks Frappuccino Mocha Cookie Crumble

Starbucks Frappuccino Mocha Cookie Crumble

It was a rough day for Taylor. Her car broke down in a small town. This town was renowned for it's shops and restaurants but Taylor thought otherwise. Taylor, a big city girl at heart found that there was nothing to do. None of the shops catered to her expensive tastes. Taylor was a Tiffany's girl. Taylor wore Chanel. Taylor wore Marc Jacobs. Taylor did not wear Hanes, regardless of how great the cotton was supposed to be. She was very hungry and decided to get something to eat and noticed that all of the restaurants served primarily fried food. Chicken, french fries, and grits; a food she had only heard about and never seen.

While walking through the small town, she felt unsafe. Passerby gave her awkward glances. She clutched her Michael Kors purse close to her as she walked the dusty streets. Her white dress had gotten filthy by the dirt that the cars were kicking up. Her feet, although wrapped in the finest Manolo's, had turned black with filth. Not to mention that she had sweat due to the heat and lack of shade and air conditioning. Men were seen dobbing their browns with handkerchiefs due to the heat.

Finally, a sight for sore eyes, Taylor spotted the best thing since she broke down in that one horse town; a Starbucks. She practically ran inside and kissed the barista on the lips. She ordered the most city thing she could think of, a mocha cookie crumble Frappuccino. She sat down in the air-conditioned location that was practically empty with her drink and let out a sigh as she took her first sip. This drink was decked out to the nines. Chocolate, mocha, chocolate chip crumbles, chocolate whipped cream all mixed together into a delightful treat. It was a treat. She loved every sip. It was sweet, chocolate, and coffee all in one mix. Her bad day appeared to disappear as she finished it.

Just as she took her last sip, the mechanic called and told her that her car was fixed and that it was a small issue that he had seen "city folk" come in with previously so it wasn't a major deal. She was very happy that everything worked out in the end. She was happy to leave the town and go back to the city but she won't soon forget the day that Starbucks almost saved her life.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 11th, 2012
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