Fruit Water - 5 Reviews

Yesterday, after many months of looking, I got myself a spinning bike. I love riding bikes and in the time I can't go out and ride for one reason or another, I always wanted to ride in the privacy of my own house. I hauled that thing in the basement, put on a record, turned on the fan, and started pedaling away. I put in a good half hour before I started to get uncomfortable for I am not as fit as I once was. I watch what I eat but I still eat things I shouldn't, which brings us to today.

On this fitness thing, I've got to watch what I eat so I thought what better way to watch my caloric intake than to intake no calories? Queue Fruit Water. It's fruit punch and watermelon, sparkling, and zero calories. Win? Well, almost. Initially it tastes like a good gum but soon thereafter comes the rush of "the catch."

What catch? Well with anything diet, you're almost certain to get something disappointing. As the years go on, science is catching up and making good diet drinks. This one just went on it's own and did things the old fashioned way, with a terrible artificial sweetener. Sucralose is awful in every way, shape, and form. It kills a lot of otherwise good drinks. This initially had the promise of being good but, once again, sucralose killed it. Sucralose, you are the Hitler of artificial sweeteners.

Glaceau has somehow figured out a way to make sucralose sweetened beverages not taste like the third circle of Dante's diet hell. This still tastes a bit off, but it doesn't have that gross chemical taste to it. Perhaps it's all the added vitamins and the like that do a nice job covering it up.

This does not contain a single drop of actual juice, but they did a decent job replicating the flavors in their laboratory. Even though this beverage isn't syrupy at all the flavor tastes like a syrup. If that made any sense to you then we are on the same wavelength and I think I may feel sorry for you. It's the kind of drink that helps wean people onto diet drinks. I could see myself drinking this a bunch and slowly becoming desensitized to that gross diet flavor. This could help a lot of people, well they may get cancer or something from artificial sweeteners, but at least they won't be obese.

When I hear the phrase “fruit water” I immediately think of a giant glass water cooler in the foyer of a hotel in a tropical area. The water cooler is filled with…€¦well water of course, but floating in that water is a delicious medley of tropical fruits that give the water a hint of the glory of your surroundings. Of course as you drink it a toucan flies over and lands on your shoulder and someone says to you, “Hey let's go surfing!”

I obviously knew that this beverage was going to be nothing like that, but that is the vision in my head, and I would like to submit that idea to the development departments of all the major beverage companies. Water that has had fruit soaked in it. No sweeteners or anything else added. It's what the world craves.

While Glaceau did not look into my hopes and dreams they did create a sparkling fruit drink that actually contains no juice. I don't want to be all picky here, but folks, let's face it this is a diet soda. It's water, it's carbonated, it has a sweetener added and it has a flavor. That's soda pop in my world folks. I actually think that is the textbook definition.

When you look at it that way, this is one of the best diet sodas I have ever tasted. I find it straight up enjoyable. There is something about the orange/mango flavor that combats the taste of the sucralose and makes it taste more natural. I know the flavors are fake, but it really does taste like mangos and oranges were used to make this drink, and I can down a bottle without feeling shame about it. You're onto something with this Glaceau, now just take some of those vats of Smart Water and dump a mess of fruit into them before you bottle it. You can thank me later.

I'm sorry, sir. Did you give my son a lime with a razor blade in it for Halloween? I swear to God that if you did I am going to take the razor out of the lime and slice your throat. No, you listen to me. I thought that was just a scary thing we told kids to not take things from strangers but now that it's out in the open and people are doing it, I don't know what to do as a parent. I tried to move to a nice part of town and into a place where I my kids are safe, or at least I thought my kids would be safe. No, I'm not done talking. You come into this town thinking you can get away with this stuff. Don't you know there is a block club where we talk about stuff like this? Fine. What do you have to say for yourself, you scum?

You what? Don't you lie to me! I'm a very powerful mother with four kids and will not take any of your garbage. You gave them what? A drink? My son Danny told me you gave him a lime with a razor blade in it. Danny, you told me. No. I explicitly heard...Oh it was like a lime with a razor blade in it. Do you have any more? Jesus, you're right. It tastes like lemon lime pop but the carbonation is actually sharp. You said this is diet, too? Eh, it's not too bad and I'm always drinking diet stuff.

Mister. I'm very sorry. You have to see it from my point of view, though. If you heard that your kid had gotten something with a razor blade in it, you would freak out, too, and rightfully so. I'm sorry. Please come to our next block club meeting and I'll bake you some cookies. Have a good night and I hope I didn't scare away your trick or treaters. Then again, that's the point of Halloween, right? Ha. Could I have another bottle of that, please? It's pretty good. I'll toss in another dozen cookies. Thank you. Hey! There is a razor blade floating in this drink! Eh, I guess I deserved it. I was a real jerk to him, Danny.

Glaceau, home of Vitamin Water and Smart Water, has decided to try its hand at sparkling beverages. When the dealer passed out the cards things we're looking good for them, but their hand just wasn't strong enough to make something spectacular. On first sip I thought this had the potential to be something like a Clearly Canadian, but then the sucralose kicked in and everything went downhill. Does anyone on this planet actually think that sucralose is acceptable? I mean I know people deal with it, but with stevia hitting the market, why would a company that uses real sugar in one of its other product lines use such a low level zero calorie sweetener? Next thing I know they'll be using aspartame. Ick.

Okay, so the base of this tastes like a nice light, non-syrupy raspberry soda (if such a thing exists). It's quite pleasant until the sweetener kicks in. With a different sweetener this could have been all the rage in my world. As it stands I didn't' finish the bottle.

If you are one of those imaginary people that actually like sucralose, I highly suggest you check this out. If not, stay away.