Mocktail (3 reviews)
Crystal Light Mocktail Peach Bellini
Ahh mocktails, the perfect drink for a summer afternoon. This drink fits many "perfect" slots for many people, too. For instance, did you know that you cannot drink when you are pregnant? Well, technically you can but there's no telling what will happen to the baby growing inside your tummy. Answer? Mocktails. Alcoholics shouldn't drink because it could quickly spiral out of control for them and the next thing you know they'll have a unicorn with a rainbow on it tattooed on their ankle. No one, not even fans of unicorns want that tattoo. Who else would love a mocktail? Kids? It's a stretch but kids that want to act cool and drink like their parents could drink mocktails all day long.
Now onto the drink itself: It’s a fantastically retro peach Bellini. Traditionally made with sparkling wine and peach puree, this drink is probably closer to none of those things. It's not sparkling although you probably could make this with seltzer water and it would be spot on. It does taste quite peachy and no, I don't mean that in a 1996 KoЯn kind of way. Could you imagine if you went backstage at a KoЯn show and Munky, Head, and Fieldy were all drinking mocktail peach Bellinis? That would have been quite an image. Tough, nu-metal dudes drinking a low-cal faux alcoholic drink? I mean, they are professionals and had a show to put on. I would imagine that the pre-show ritual would include mock drinks but the post-show would involve shear chaos.
This drink isn't bad. It doesn't taste terribly diet, which is a plus and a bit of a shocker since I can usually spot a disgusting aspartame drink a mile away. This is loud on the peach, but take it from someone who isn't 100% into peaches, it's still good. KoЯn agrees. The Allman Brothers agree. The Presidents of the United States of America agree. This peach Bellini is pretty good.
- Website
- http://www.crystallight.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Categories
- Drink Mix/Concentrate, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 6/3/2012
- Comments
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Crystal Light Mocktail Appletini
It's so hot. Water...water...where is it? What's going on? What's happening in the paper? What?! A toxic spill causes rain shortage? Oh man. That's pretty terrible. What am I going to...what? What's going on? It's raining. Awesome I'm going to put my head right under it. This isn't rain! It's appley. Let me try this again. It tastes like a green apple and it's green. This is going to make everything sticky and probably kill all the plants but it's pretty refreshing. I wish it would hail so that...holy crud it's hailing. This is the best thing that could ever happen. It's like I'm taking a shower in a Crystal Light Appletini. There is even got the flavor down to that strange stinging in the back of my throat.
I think that, yep, now that I'm reading this paper, it seems that the toxic spill was actually a giant shipment of the powder of Appletini crashing into a river during a drought. So it naturally wasn't raining and the river mixed up the drink and then it evaporated into a lake. What a delicious disaster! Good thing Kraft sent us some samples so we could properly place the flavor.
- Website
- http://www.crystallight.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Categories
- Diet, Drink Mix/Concentrate, Juice, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/11/2011
- Comments
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Vintage Mocktail Raspberry Martini
Things I know about martinis are as follow: olives may or may not be involved, gin is in it, James Bond liked them "shakened" not stirred, there are bars dedicated to them, they now come in a variety of fruit flavors, and finally people drink them when they want to pretend they are all sorts of fancy pants. I've never had a real one, and I never will. I will try fake versions of them, or mocktinis if you will.
I'm in a van with people who have tried the real deal and they all say this tastes nothing like what it's trying to imitate. I'm perfectly fine with that. They always sounded like a one-way ticket to Grossville to me. So it doesn't taste authentic, but it does taste like raspberry ginger ale minus the ginger ale. That would be raspberry soda for those of you playing along at home. It's nothing terribly special, but at least it doesn't taste like olives.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Sparkling
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/10/2011
- Comments
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