Nature's Blends - 4 Reviews

You know the park down the street from where you live? You know how occasionally you'll see a deer on the side of the road near there at dusk, and it will quickly run away? Well, that is because it just remembered that it's going to be late for the nightly deer meeting. That's right after everyone heads home from the part, and before the local trouble makers show up, the deer gather in the clearing in the little patch of trees that the little kids call the forest and discuss the news of the day. You know, things like which houses have gardens that aren't fenced off and where the best areas to sleep during the day are. Seriously where do they go? I have been in the woods, and in suburban fields that are the only areas where deer could go to sleep, and I have never come across them. Are they like Einstein and only sleep 15 minutes at a time?

Recently a point of contention at these meetings has been about where they should get their antioxidants. You see one of them came across a health magazine that had been left in the park by some turd and read the benefits of antioxidants. The deer realized they had been missing out on a crucial part of their diet, but none of the fruits mentioned in the article could be found in their area.

Ultimately they decided to ransack a convenience store after it had closed. One of the elders with larger antlers smashed the window and they all stepped right in. They tried a bunch of different beverages, but the majority of them preferred the acai grape flavored one. They thought it was fairly similar to another company called Vitamin Water (yes deer can read when they are from space, oh didn't I mention that part?) The drink was sweet, but light. It mostly tasted like the grapes they found on vines in the fall, but it had a little extra (light) kick to it. The best part was that this beverage wasn't nearly as sweet as the others. It was like fruit and water mixed.

Content, they headed back to the “forest” to get ready for the day of secret, hidden sleep ahead of them. Maybe they just slept in a spaceship since they were space deer.

Mojitos aren't just for the Mexican or the lovers of Mexican food anymore! Was it ever that way? I rarely see people drink let alone drink mojitos. I like the idea of mint in a drink but there is an awful lot of mint in a mojito. People sit there and stab away at the mint and hope that they didn't just pay twelve dollars for ice and mint. Before we go any further, I know mojitos have lime and not lemon, but this very closely resembles that of a mojito so I'm going to push forward with it as is.

This is actually pretty refreshing drink. Light but adequate mint and equal parts lemon meet in the middle, shake hands like they sold each other a car at a very reasonable price, and do so very maturely. This does taste a bit like a watered down and for some reason minty lemonade but it's far enough away from it that I shouldn't bother mentioning it. It's just too bad that keyboards don't come with some sort of key that I could go back and erase. I mean, typewriters had it. Seems like an odd thing to forget after all these years.

Summer? Yes but for a limited time. If you can, find this, enjoy the sun, and try to surf. Even if you can get up for a couple seconds, that's enough to get the itch, right?

Alright now, just ease back the cord of the bow. Hold the arrow back for a moment. Now, don't forget to breathe and relax. Once you feel confident that you have your target in your sites simply let go and let the pressure do the rest. Oh it looks like you missed the target. Speaking of, do you know what else missed the target: This bottle of Nature's Blends. I mean I guess it hit the target, but it certainly wasn't a bulls-eye. It hit somewhere in one of the outer circles.

The whole shtick of these drinks is that they are spring water and real juice. The thing is that if you add water to juice, you just get watered down juice. That is exciting for no one. So instead Poland Spring took some juice concentrate and added spring water, which would essentially make it juice again. They also added sugar and a couple of other ingredients that give it a slightly weird aftertaste. The thing is that instead of coming across like juice, this tastes like a Vitamin Water, minus the vitamins.

I'm pretty sure that nine times out of ten I would choose either plain water or just juice over this. It tastes perfectly satisfactory, but there are a handful of companies who do similar things better that are readily available.

Did you know that Poland Spring is from an actual town in Maine, and obviously not from the country of Poland? I really hope you didn't think it was from Poland, because I'm sure it would cost more than $.30 per bottle if it were, you know with duties and taxes and all. Now don't you feel stupid?

Did you also know that Poland Spring is owned by Nestle? On top of that they own a buttload of other bottled water brands, which include Arrowhead, Calistoga, Deer Park, Ice Mountain, Ozarka and Zephyrhills. It's all crazy go nuts university in here.

Since these are all regional brands I wonder if any of the other brands are also releasing a "Nature's Blends" line? I'd be okay with that. This is a fairly simple beverage. It's water, cane sugar and white grape/raspberry juice concentrate. It has a decent fruit flavor, but I could do with even less sugar in it. I am a crotchety old man after all. There is only 5% juice in here, but they label it as spring water with real juice beverage, so it's okay. Basically it tastes like Vitamin Water without all the vitamins. It's really ridiculous that Vitamin Water has become my basis for comparison for so many drinks, but it's out there and everyone knows it. So there you have it.