Seltzer'ade - 7 Reviews

The weather has finally broke and it's been plain warm out. The sun is shining down the trees are sprouting leaves and I'm sitting on my back porch hanging with my new puppy and sipping on this can of seltzer'ade. Oh yeah, The artist formerly known as Editor Dan is also with me, encouraging my pup to be the jerk he kind of already is. He's a bad friend I tell ya. The only reason I mention this poor influence is that he tried this beverage and instantly proclaimed that it tasted like lemon Pez. He's not too far off base. It's not exact, but I see where he's coming from. I have no idea if this tastes like actual starfruit, because I haven't tasted one in over a decade. I can say that it is fruity and refreshing, and that I would be enjoying it a lot more if I didn't have to worry about this dog doing something stupid, like dig a giant hole in my lawn…€¦..too late.

I will finally acknowledge that I am an adult. I am responsible. I take care of my bills on time. I no longer have the time for drama and nonsense in my life. Most importantly I don't need to ingest mass amounts of sugar. For a couple of years now I have been riding the seltzer train. At first it was a little hard going, but I soon completely latched on. Sure, there are times where I do have a sugar craving, or a certain type of beverage won't leave my brain. Sometimes I give in and give myself a treat. Others I fill the gap with something somewhat similar but healthier. Now I am a fool for blood orange anything. It's the superior citrus fruit in my world, and I can't get enough of it. When I saw that Polar expanded their Seltzer'ade line and it included a Blood Orange Lemonade, I couldn't get a case into my cart fast enough. Sometimes things just can't match the expectations that form in your head though. While this is quite tasty, it is by no means a replacement for a good blood orange Italian soda. It is a flavor that needs a little sugar to be enhanced. As I said this is very good, but it may be the lightest flavored of this line that I have tried. If this was as strong as the mango one I would have a new beverage of the summer. As it stands I don't know how often I would get it as it leaves me wanting.

What we have here could only be described as a tasty seltzer water. What we also have here might be the weakest of the Seltzer'ade line. If this had been released as a normal Polar flavor I would have thought it was quite pleasant. It has a cherry flavor that doesn't remind me of medicine or black cherries, and that is always a plus. It also has a light subtle lime flavor to it, which makes a great base for any seltzer. The only problem is that by throwing that Seltzer'ade branding on it, my expectations are instantly raised. The rest of the flavors are incredibly strong and bold, this lacks in both of those. That by no means makes this a bad product, but it's just not worthy of the title (and additional price). If Polar were to put this exact same product in their normal bottles I would be more prone to purchase it again.

This may in fact be the best seltzer ever created. All other seltzers were given inferiority complexes when this was released. They all lay awake at night, looking at a 4am ceiling wondering where they went wrong in their lives. The poor things never stood a chance.

The mango smell that permeates from this is so strong that in a blind sniff test there is no way I would have guessed it was a seltzer. The flavor rivals that scent and is so strong and pleasant. The lime sits perfectly under the mango for a tropical treat. My senses are treated so well by this beverage that my mind is tricked into thinking I was drinking something that is laden with sugar. In reality there is not a speck of it.

Come on Polar, you obviously have the means, so why not make all of your seltzers this flavorful? Why save it for a specialized line? Has there been a new breakthrough in the sugarless flavoring world that has allowed you to up the taste? Going back to your classic flavors after drinking the Seltzer'ade line just leaves me wanting now. I mean I am still drinking a ton of the stuff, but the magic is gone. I have been shown that the world is more than I thought it was and I want it all. This is bursting with flavor, well at least as much as seltzer can be. Or, can there be more? I never would have expected it could have been before, but I was proven wrong).Give me more Polar. Give me it all.

Dear Readers,
I am a slacker and I am waaaaayyyy behind the times. This summer Polar released their Seltzer'ade line and here I sit in autumn's grasp and I have only reviewed one of them. To be fair, the blueberry lemonade was the only one of the five flavors that I actually saw in the stores around Buffalo during the actual summer. Now that a Whole Foods finally opened here a couple of weeks ago I was able to pick up some cases of three of the remaining flavors (the tart cherry is still elusive). Summer may be behind us, but I certainly hope Polar leaves these available all year around. As much as I hate to admit it, they are superior to the classic Polar flavors that I live off of. The flavors are way more pronounced, to an extent that several times I have found myself checking to make sure there isn't any sugar involved (there isn't).

I would best describe the watermelon lemonade as someone dissolved a handful of Jolly Ranchers in a glass of carbonated water, and then somehow removed all the sugar. It doesn't taste particularly like an actual watermelon, but it is uncannily similar to the pre mentioned candy without the sweetness. That blows my mind because that candy is probably 99% sugar, yet this tastes exactly like it.

This particular flavor isn't something I would drink all of the time, but I wish I would have had it during the summer. I also think this line is the key to weening children off soda. Slowly replace their soda with cans of this and they will be off the sugar in no time, to the dismay of the Dental Association of America.

My life runs on Polar. I'm pretty sure that by my life running on it, it by default means that the (assumingly) homeless women, who I leave my cans and bottles for, also has her life run by it. Okay, not run, but she probably makes enough from me in a week to get a sandwich or two. I drink far too much of the stuff, well if that were possible. I went from cans, to liters, and have graduated to two liters, because there just that much more for me to consume.

When I saw this in the store, I really thought it was a repackaging of their bottles blueberry lemonade. I bought a box anyway, because I like to have some cans for when I'm out and about. People look at you weird when you're in public drinking directly from a big bottle, yet they walk around with gigantic fountain sodas and think nothing off it. Whatever. So I bought it, cooled them down and then drank one on my way to band practice. Now I love Polar, but they are not the most flavorful seltzer out there. Either La Croix or Spindrift probably has that honor. They all have their place; sometimes you want more, sometimes less. This though, this has a punch to it. The flavor in here is probably the strongest out of the Polar flavors I have tried, which is all of them, minus some seasonal ones I missed. It's wonderful and bold. It's to an extent that you forget that there is no sweetener involved. I need to back and try the bottled version again. I'm pretty sure this is reformulated, but I hope I'm wrong and it's as glorious in a bottle as it is in these cans.