Slenderize (4 reviews)

Fuze Slenderize Cranberry Raspberry

Fuze Slenderize Cranberry Raspberry

Without fail, low calorie aka diet drinks always sit in my “to-drink” pile the longest. By pile I mean three cupboards and a drawer in the fridge, but it’s much more entertaining to think of is as a giant pile of drinks next to my desk with bottle precariously placed, so that everyone is in constant fear of it crushing me to death. People would probably insist that I start wearing a Medic Alert bracelet. Alas, I am far too organized and they are in cupboards, organized by drink type.

This has been sitting around for probably 8-9 months now. It’s just been hanging around like an old ghost trying to frighten me into drinking it. Finally I gave into the fear and today was the day of ingestion. It’s not as bad as I had anticipated. The use of actual juice in here probably helps. This is supposed to be a cranberry and raspberry juice, but it also contains apple, black carrot, black currants and a whole mess of vitamins. The result is a fruity beverage that tastes vaguely like berries, that also has a bit of a cranberry dryness to it, but doesn’t really taste like the suggested flavors. There’s some sucralose in there, but it’s not bad enough to ruin the drink. It’s also borderline creamy, which is odd. I mean it’s not like there is milk in it or anything, but it has that certain smoothness to it. For a company that makes mediocre teas, it’s no wonder that they also make mediocre juice/vitamin drinks.

Website
http://www.drinkfuze.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 30th, 2014
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Fuze Slenderize Cranberry Raspberry, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Fuze Slenderize Blueberry Raspberry

Fuze Slenderize Blueberry Raspberry

Hey buddy, even though you look completely worn out, why don’t you pop on over to the fuse box and open it up and see if you can figure out why the lights are working? I’m just kidding you brother, I just have the switch turned off. I’m trying to toughen up my eyes by reading in the dark. With the appending apocalypse you gotta be ready and you can bet your sweet ass that within two years electricity won’t exist. I don’t want to be that fool that can’t read anything in the dark when that comes to pass. Seriously though check out the fuse box and get yourself one. Oh I’m sorry, I call my fridge the fuse box, because m I don’t want to be that fool that can’t read anything in the dark when that comes to pass. Seriously though check out the fuse box and get yourself one. Oh I’m sorry, I call my fridge the fuse box, because my mom keeps it stocked with Fuze drinks. She’s been raggin’ me about how I need to lose weight so she buys me the low calorie “Slenderize” ones. I don’t know what she’s talking about. These three bills will help me to stay alive at the end of the world. While all you skinny folks are withering away I’ll be eating my own fat and prospering.

Oh man, you should have grabbed the blueberry raspberry one. It’s actually got a bunch of juices in it. Okay it’s mostly apple juice, but there are a bunch of other fruit and vegetable juices in it, even though they make up less than .5% of the ingredients. It tastes like a berry drink that is heavy on the blueberries, but the sucralose in it gives it a weird taste. It doesn’t taste overly diet, but it’s done something to the juice that makes it taste a bit off. Everything mixed together gives you a bunch of vitamins and minerals. It’s pretty rad. I know my mom just thinks I’m fat, so she buys it because of the low sugar content ,but all that Super Citrimax and Chromium in my system is really going to come in handy when the world…well you know where this is going. Prepare yourself brother!

Website
http://www.drinkfuze.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 17th, 2014
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Fuze Slenderize Blueberry Raspberry, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Fuze Slenderize Strawberry Melon

Fuze Slenderize Strawberry Melon

More melons. I want more melon in my life. I want it in my diet all the time and I want it in more drinks. I love it. It's been done pretty poorly with the exception of the Calypso Triple Melon. This is close to a really good execution but something inside of this bottle is killing the perfection that I so desperately desire. I will blame it on the sugar as none of the fruits in this drink have the sharpness that I'm getting. I don't get the watermelon but I do get the strawberry and the melon and those are the two that I really want. I can taste things trying to get through like a goat trying to get through the fence at a petting zoo to stick its wet nose in your pocket to get the feed you just aren't giving to him fast enough. Oh, those rectangular pupils get me every time. I forget and then the twice a year I spend time with them; there they are, filled with 90 degree angles. It's just unnatural, but goats eat cans and boots so it's fine. Goats. You guys are alright.

Website
http://www.drinkfuze.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 12th, 2012
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Fuze Slenderize Strawberry Melon, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Fuze Slenderize Tropical Punch

Fuze Slenderize Tropical Punch

Tropical punch might trump fruit punch. Fruit punch is a mystery blend of fruits that I'm convinced no one knows except for the manufacturer. Tropical punch has pineapples and banana and mango and passion fruit and more. This drink even splurged on a stockpile of dragon fruit, which I give them all the credit in the world for.

This drink has a little bit of a diet taste to it but you can actually taste most of not all of the fruits. It is kind of fun to drink and try and pick out each of the flavors as they come along.

This is a good diet beverage and I will recommend it to anyone who wants to give it a shot.

Website
http://www.drinkfuze.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Acesulfame Potassium
Categories
Diet, Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 13th, 2011
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Fuze Healthy Infusions Slenderize Tropical Punch, 18.5 oz (Pack of 24)
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