Soda (29 reviews)

Jones Soda Peanut Butter and Jelly

Jones Soda Peanut Butter and Jelly

Man, I’m so glad you talked me into going to that baseball game. I mean the game itself was just as boring as I expected it to be, but when that guy you brought got that foul ball to the face, man that made everything worthwhile. I mean I guess I feel bad for laughing so hard, but he really just wouldn’t shut up and was being such a know-it-all. It just seemed like it was the universe telling him to shut up, just like everyone around us wanted to.

Oh man, he actually broke his jaw and had to get it wired shut? Now I really feel bad for laughing. You know what he did go on for about 40 minutes about how he loved a perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwich, so let me make him one and you can drop it off. First you lightly toast the bread, then you spread peanut butter one piece and a generous amount of grape jelly on the other. Actually he did say about 20 times how he loves his grape jelly, so I better double up on it. Don’t worry that it will be messy, he can’t chew anyways so I’ll throw it in a blender for him. Hmm, I don’t know what would be the appropriate liquid to add to this. I guess grape soda will have to do. Now we blend.

This is actually kind of insane. It tastes like a grape soda, but then you get weird flashes of bread and light hints of peanut butter. The grape soda kept it’s carbonation as well. That dude is going to love this if he’s really into PB&J as much as he claims. Me, I think it’s kind of gross after a sip or two. Oh, don’t forget the crazy straw!

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Inverted Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 30th, 2014
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Jones Soda Caramel Apple

Jones Soda Caramel Apple

Earl loved celebrating…too much. He was the guy at work that would somehow always find a reason for cake whether it be Sheryl in accounting, Sharon in accounts receivable, or Shannon in customer service. Cakes, assorted pies, and trays of cookies always seemed to be in tow when it came to Earl. On Halloween he came in and was very sad. Most of the people in the office were wearing at least some sort of hackneyed cat ears or devil horns. Sheila Larson from the front desk asked what was wrong and he told his sad story.

He was on his way to his car dressed to the nines in a zombie outfit. Full makeup, ripped shirt and shorts, colors contacts, and a well rehearsed limp. He was ten feet from the car and a car drove by and completely splashed him. It totally ruined his getup. His makeup was running, he was cold and wet, and genuinely was not in the mood to have any sort of party.

Lunchtime had come and everyone made their way to the company picnic where the office had decided to have a little Halloween party. Earl walked in and sat down and started to eat his sandwich. Just then, a handful of the women from the office brought him a cupcake with a Jack-o-lantern on it and a tiny can of pop. He looked up and smiled and said thanks. He ate the cupcake and was in a better mood but it wasn’t until he drank that pop that he was back to his normal self. The pop they gave him was a Halloween exclusive flavored like a caramel apple. He had never seen anything like it. He loved to bring in candy and caramel apples to the girls at the office throughout fall so this little can was a treat. He took a couple sips and decided it tasted more like non-alcoholic apple cider with some caramel in it. That was close enough for him. He went outside and no one saw him for about ten minutes. Then, he came back in dressed as a janitor. All the ladies thought it was a great costume and wondered where he got it. Just then, Sam the janitor walked in wearing Earl’s clothes that he just had on. It was a Halloween that Consolidated Cardboard won’t soon forget.

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 14th, 2013
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Jones Soda Blood Orange

Jones Soda Blood Orange

Roberta Smith was new to town. She always dressed in black and her schoolmates used to call her “Wednesday Addams” because she wore black, collared dress almost every day. Her hair also looked like she had always freshly put something into a light socket. She always had her headphones on listening to the blackest of metal. When people would ask her what she was listening to, she would say that she was listening to “blood metal” which is not a real genre, but something to get the point across that it was very dark and often morbid. She had patches on her backpack for bands like Danzig, Type-O Negative, Necrophagist, and Cannibal Corpse and many more.

She came to school one day and say alone to eat lunch. She had a turkey sandwich, apple, Star Crunch, and a small can of pop. One of the bullies in the school came over and took the can from Wednesday. She demanded that he give it back to her. He refused and asked her what it was. She told him it was blood orange. He squealed like pig and practically threw the can back at her thinking it was made with real blood. Fed up with the abuse that she had taken, she chased the kid through the lunchroom and tackled him. She opened up the can of pop and started to pour some into his mouth. A teacher came in and broke up the scuffle and the students went on their way. The bully got up as Wednesday went back to the table with an arm full of sticky pop. He said, “This isn’t blood! It just tastes like orange pop and grapefruit pop mixed together! It’s actually pretty good. Thanks, Wednesday!” She smiled for the first time in front of her classmates.

After class, some students came up to her and told her that it was cool that she stood up to the bully and asked if she wanted to come over to their houses and play with dolls. She said, “Sure! Do you want to come over to my house, listen to Slayer and pull the wings off butterflies.” When the kids backed up in disgust, she would tell them, “Just kidding. We aren’t going to be mean to butterflies but we are still listening to Slayer.”

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 14th, 2013
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Jones Soda Red Licorice

Jones Soda Red Licorice

Dear Trick or Treaters of the world,
When you are traversing the back streets of your town, begging for sugary confections I have on request for you. Actually it’s not a request; it’s a demand. You can keep all of your chocolates and suckers, your Wonkas and your Hersheys. I must request that you save all of your licorice and send it to me directly at the Thirsty Dudes offices (aka my apartment). I have no need of Sweet Tarts or Tootsie Rolls, I only need the sweet, sweet goodness of licorice. Let me be more specific, red licorice. You can keep any and all black licorice trash for yourself. Bring me your Twizzlers, your Red Vines and your Australian soft eating varieties. Red licorice is the ultimate candy, and when it comes to ingesting it, I have no willpower. I will inhale an entire package before I know what happened.

The folks at Jones certainly had me in mind when they made this soda pop, as it legitimately tastes like licorice. Sure the flavor isn’t as overpoweringly strong as I wish it was, but it is more than just a hint. The flavor is more along the lines of Red Vines than anything else, and while it’s not my absolute favorite, I can’t really complain.

It’s lucky for me that these are available for a limited time only, as I don’t need this temptation on a yearly basis. Also, anything more than 8oz of this would probably be too much. This candy liquefied and stored in a can with wonderful bubbles soaring through it is as close to a dream come true as any man could ask.

So on November first while you’re sorting through your night’s haul, dump all of your licorice into a box and mail it to Thirsty Dudes International Headquarters. The postmaster will make sure it gets to where it needs to be.

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 14th, 2013
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Jones Soda Turkey and Gravy

Jones Soda Turkey and Gravy

Ahh, a bottle of vintage. I'll never forget those days, going to the grandparent's farmhouse during the hot summer months. Working with grandpa bailing hay, cutting dozens of acres of lawn, milking cows, and putting shoes on horses. The later was for fun. It wasn't actual horseshoes. It was my sister's shoes that she brought in case there was some sort of ho down at the town square that she needed to get all gussied up for. Imagine a pony wearing mid-sized heels. It's a treat to see. After a nice, moderate ten hour work day with pappy, he and I would go inside and talk about things like Bill Clinton, Atari, segregation in schools, apples, and the like. We would discuss these topical issues over a nice bowl of turkey caramels until it was time to go to sleep. Ahh those caramels. Nothing is quite as refreshing as sugar free turkey caramels. It just hits the spot after you have a nice turkey dinner with mashed potatoes and peas. You know how awful it is to eat a meal and then wash it down with something that doesn't taste like what you just ate. Oh, I hate it. If I just ate a hamburger, I wish there were some sort of hamburger ice cream that I could eat to keep my palate just where it was.



Pappy, if you're reading this, I don't miss those days and although my friends say that I was missing my youth, I thought that there is only one way to have such course, calloused hands and strong work ethic at ten. Those kids that were spending their youth playing football, having sleepovers, listening to pop music; those kids are soft. We, you and I, we are strong independent men who can take care of ourselves with the lay of the land. Animals? I'll milk 'em all of the day. We're men, pappy. All because of our talks and those delicious salty turkey caramel filled nights.

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Other/Weird, Soda Pop
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 9th, 2013
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Buy Now
Jones Soday Holiday Soda 5- Pack (2005)

Jones Soda Poutine

Jones Soda Poutine

There comes a time when mankind makes something that is not needed/wanted. Jones fulfilled this prophecy by creating this monster of a soda.

*Editors note: in the beginning of the video, Mike thinks I say it's in a can but I was trying to say that it was an exclusive to Canada but I don't know how to talk on video because I get nervous.

Without further adieu, here is a video of us drinking this collection of fries, gravy, and cheese curds in a bottle.



Jones Poutine soda was easily the worst soda I've ever had. It's been hours since I drank it and my stomach still hurts and I still feel like I'm going to throw up. I appreciate that Jones sent this to us, but on the other hand I feel like they played a huge elaborate prank on us.

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Other/Weird, Soda Pop
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on May 24th, 2013
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Jones Soda Orange & Cream Soda

Jones Soda Orange & Cream Soda

Would you look at that face? That is the face of a child who just opened her birthday presents and she is not happy with the results. All she wanted was a classic blonde 1972 Fender Telecaster bass and instead what she got was a brand new knock off that looks like a toy. To add insult to injury it was also fretless…ick. Well at least her parents got her a case of orange and cream soda. Orange cream is her favorite soda flavors and only the sweet, sweet flavor of creamsicle soda will right this evil that has been put upon her. What the hell is this? This one is certainly not her parent’s fault. It’s labeled orange and cream, but this doesn’t taste the way she wants it to. Neither the orange, nor the vanilla cream tastes are right, and together they taste nothing like a melted creamsicle. It’s like they took garbage generic orange pop and put in the smallest hint of vanilla that is just not pulling its weight. In fact it tastes more like a generic sweet soda flavor than anything. That’s it. She’s just turned two and this little girl already knows this is the worst birthday that has and will ever exist. She might as well burn the house down.

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Inverted Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 19th, 2013
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Buy Now
Jones, Soda Orange & Cream, 12-Fluid Ounce (24 Pack)

Jones Soda Lemon Lime

Jones Soda Lemon Lime

Lemon Lime: The illegitimate child of sodas. Everyone pretends to love it, but in reality it’s normally the only soda left over after the family get together. I’ve never met a single person in my life that had lemon lime as a go to pop. Sure it mixes well with other drinks, alcoholic for some and for others such as myself it works well with cranberry juice, when out at bars. On it’s own it’s just a bland soda by nature. I mean how can it not when one of its key ingredients is lemon, the most meaningless of all fruit. Lemonade is amazing, but in all other forms I could do without the golden citrus king. I wonder if lime will forever feel cheated in this arrangement. A straight up lime soda aka a Lime Rickey is a thing of beauty. It’s just too bad that on most days it’s held back by its cousin the lime.

Now that I’ve expressed in detail the mediocrity of lemon lime pop, I will say that Jones has made a version that is better than most. It’s no surprise that the reason for it’s spender is that it tastes more of lime than lemon. The use of cane sugar helps a lot as well, but it’s the lime that makes this pop worthwhile. If this is what this flavor of soda always tasted like, I feel like there wouldn’t be anything left in the coolers at the end of the party and that everyone would finally come to accept and truly love this soda made out of wedlock

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Inverted Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 11th, 2012
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Jones Soda Sugar-Free Green Apple

Jones Soda Sugar-Free Green Apple

You know what's stopping this drink from being a good drink? The fact that it sucks. This drink tastes like sour apple plastic. If you had a book for kids that every page had a different smell and one of the pages smelled like sour apple, and then you ate it, this is what it would taste like: your child's book. Why are you eating your kids books? Why are you making drinks that taste like fruity flavored plastic? Why did this drink make it to production? Not every non-diet pop is still drinkable when you exchange real sugar for artificial sweeteners. Not everything we drink is a gem. This should be more acceptable than it is but surprise! We just found the reason why we found it for seventy cents.

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Splenda
Categories
Diet, Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 30th, 2012
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Jones Soda Red Apple

Jones Soda Red Apple

Rumor has it that it's been a rough year for apples. It was a blisteringly hot summer and that's not good for any sort of trees, plants, fruits, vegetables, and everything in-between. I assume the orchards aren't just throwing away bushels of lesser quality apples. I hope that there will be an influx of apple goods like apple cider, apple donuts, apple bread, something. I like apples. I like certain apples more than other but I like them all. Apple juice is good but companies as of late have been really nailing that apple flavor and not just apple flavoring things.

This pop is apple. Red apple. Not apple flavored. It says "natural and artificial flavors" but I'm thinking that's a misprint. It's a really good flavor. It's sweet but it's pop. If you've had Jones before they are a little guilty of over sweetening their pop. It's real sugar though so over sweetening with cane sugar versus artificial sweetener, in my opinion, is way more drinkable. I'm just saying they could cut back a bit.

Autumn, apples, cider, hoodies; it's all happening now, for a limited time. Fall is a short season because you take summer for every day but as soon as snow hits, it's mentally winter. That's the frigidly cold truth. I'm not telling lies over here, just truths.

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Inverted Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 26th, 2012
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