Sugar Free (8 reviews)

Red Bull Sugar Free The Lime Edition

Red Bull Sugar Free The Lime Edition

So picture this, I’m at the gym, attempting to improve my mental health and lost some of the vanilla pudding that has formed on my human frame as I have aged nearly into my fourth decade on this planet. I had just finished running a few miles on the treadmill and then began to use the weight lifting machines, when I notice that there are a pair of women walking around the gym with cooler backpacks handing out cans of Red Bull to people as they work out. First off, that is jut weird and kind of not acceptable. To me the gym is a place that you do not interact with people unless you are asking them if they are finished with a machine, or you are calling them out for being a creep and checking out other human people in their sweaty state. Secondly, you can bet your ass that as soon as I was done with a set of reps I approached them before they could approach me and I got a can from them. The interaction was inevitable, so I was proactive about it to get it over and of course I was going to take a free sample.

We have really slacked on Red Bull reviews because I had heard some unsavory things about the people who run the company, which ended up being not accurate upon doing some research. I was glad to give the newer flavors a try, especially when it was free. This though, was not what I wanted. I actually prefer the sugar free Red Bull to the original variety, and I was hoping this would go the same route. Unfortunately that was not the case. This is supposed to be limeade, but it was not like they added lime to a normal diet Red Bull. Instead it’s a new beast that just tastes like a tiny bit of lime mixed in with a whole lot of sucralose grossness. Here are my parting words for the company; Just add flavoring to your original base products for these “new” flavors, and teach your representatives what appropriate venues to hand out samples are. The way things are going I can only assume after the gym they were heading to a funeral to pass out samples.

Website
http://www.redbull.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 10th, 2018
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Max Velocity Sugar Free Uncaged Energy Drink

Max Velocity Sugar Free Uncaged Energy Drink

Going into this I knew this was going to be bad. Any energy drink found at Big Lots (where drinks go to die) named "Max Velocity" is not good. On top of it, there's no flavor on this. What flavor is "Uncaged"? At least there's a grainy photo of a cheetah on the can.

Yup I was right, it's like a Red Bull/ Mountain Dew mix. So gross. It burns the throat as it goes down.

Website
http://www.albertsons.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on October 4th, 2012
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Hansen's Sugar Free Acai Black Tea

Hansen's Sugar Free Acai Black Tea

Oh, no. I don't want to do this to Hansen's again. I really like a lot of their products but I have to do this. I owe it to myself so that I may sleep at night and the public since I am the messenger. People come here for professionally written reviews about products the world loves. This, though...phew. What a dump of a drink. It is a liquid. This is true. It tastes like some garbage, diet powder mix drink. Now, I've had some of those that are good, but this would not be one of those. I'm not 100% on Acai's bus. I'm half way out the door with the driver pushing me in so that he can get me, and my fellow riders, to our destination on time. Don't push me, bus driver. I'm not ready to give in, yet. This drink is bitterly sweet like Acai drinks are but, man, uber-sweet and uber-diet.

This is an abomination of a black tea. Black tea should sue Hansen's for the slander that is this drink. As soon as this hits my mouth I am in terror. Diet. Bleh. I've drunk Spenda drinks before but this might take the cake as being some of the worst I've ever had. There are light years of distance between "sugar free" and "unsweetened" and if you don't know that, you should get out of the game and enjoy something else.

Hansens. You know I love you. I love many of your products. If you could remove this and that pineapple drink that I hated from your line, I would give you the highest reward of plugging the daylights out of you, until then, justice.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Splenda
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 14th, 2012
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Hansen Beverage Acai Black Tea Sugar Free, 16-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Hansen's Sugar Free Passionfruit Green Tea

Hansen's Sugar Free Passionfruit Green Tea

I’m sorry, but I have nothing positive to say about this drink. It doesn’t really taste like tea at all, even though it has natural tea solids. It also tastes overly diet. Splenda is the devil, and it has no place in beverages. Drink companies of the world take note. It’s gross. I don’t want to drink it. Keep it out of your drinks, so I don’t have to taste it when I write reviews. I understand the need for diet drinks. We live in a country where the majority of the inhabitants are overweight in an unhealthy way. Diet drinks are fine; just use natural sweeteners such as Stevia. Finally, the peach flavor tastes insanely fake due to all of the artificial sweetener that’s in here. Hansen’s I expected more from you.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Acesulfame Potassium
Categories
Diet, Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 29th, 2012
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Hansen Beverage Iced Peach Green Tea, 16-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Sentinel Sugar Free Citrus

Sentinel Sugar Free Citrus

As of today I have officially crossed the line into abusing energy drinks territory. I'm not at a point (and don't think I ever will be) where I need them to get my day moving, like a coffee addict. No, today I was out of "quick" food in my house before work so I drank this energy drink as an appetite suppressant. That's the whole concept of diet pills, right? They are chock full of caffeine so you don't feel hungry. I learned that from Saved By the Bell, and if you are between the ages of 25 and 35 you probably did too.

I have to say it worked. I didn't feel hungry the entire time I was working. Job well done Sentinel. I must also point out that this was the lightest energy drink I've ever had. To the extent that it felt like I wasn't really drinking anything. The flavor is really, really mild citrus, and the sucralose is down so far in the list of ingredients that it tastes like you have a glass of soda water with both an orange and lime slice in it that someone put just a tad bit of artificial sweetener in it. Very strange indeed.


I was going to write some dumb story about the Sentinels from X-Men, but then I got ashamed of my abuse. Just pretend I wrote something about how crushing mutants is a hard job, and even robots need a little pick me up from time to time.

Website
http://www.jumpbeverages.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 18th, 2011
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Blu Sugar Free Energy Drink

Blu Sugar Free Energy Drink

Matt loves going to dance clubs. He loves dancing so much that he weaseled his way into a job as a bar back at his favorite club in town, Blue Monday. Yes, they are so original that they named themselves after New Order's most well known song. They even host "New Order Mondays". It's pretty absurd if you ask me, but the kids seem to like it.

Another interesting thing about Matt is he's straight edge. He gets made fun of a lot for being around alcohol all day long, but he doesn't care. His love for dancing overrides his distaste for alcoholic drinks. Since he's been working at Blue Monday for so long, they started taking his suggestions for non-alcoholic drinks to stock. The owner was pretty loyal to Red Bull for a while, but when Matt told him there was a line of energy drinks called "Blu", he jumped for joy. Literally, he leapt into the air. I wasn't there, but I know the bartender on at the time and he said it was really weird.

A few weeks later they got their first shipment of Blu energy drinks. It was a huge success. The post-ironic crowd the club drew loved the idea of drinking Blu energy drinks, inside of a club called Blue Monday, while the song "Blue Monday" by New Order was playing. Occasionally they'd also play "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65 to mix things up a bit. It was really gross.

Last time I was there was for the opening day of New Order November (don't ask). They were all out of the other flavors of Blu so I tried the sugar free version for the first time. I was expecting it to be gross, but it wasn't that bad at all. It tasted really similar to sugar free Red Bull. I'm glad to see my friend Matt is happy and the club is doing well with their Blu energy drink sales. I just hope someday the owner will realize that irony is dead.

Country
Israel
Sweetener
Aspartame
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on September 29th, 2011
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Neutron Energy Sugar Free Citrus

Neutron Energy Sugar Free Citrus

Life in the lab is hard work. Long hours, no time to socialize (except at home on World of Warcraft), hardly any sleep, etc... We used to have a coffee pot in the lab. Unfortunately one time I accidentally poured mercury into it. I almost made a cup of coffee with it to give to the new janitor Franklin, but I decided I didn't want to accidentally cause someone else's death.

Sadly, my coffee drinking days in the lab are over. Which is why, like most scientists, I have switched to energy drinks. Most of my colleagues like the standard ones: Red Bull, Monster, Rockstar, Amp, etc... While those are all fine, I prefer to dig a little and find some hidden gems. This Neutron Energy one is one of my favorites currently. I was drawn to it by the name and artwork obviously. I love tart drinks as well and this one can definitely be classified as such. It has a strong grapefruit taste, which is awesome. It has a slight diet taste, but it definitely tastes better than most energy drinks. I've obviously never drank mercury coffee, but I’m sure it tastes better than that as well.

Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on September 19th, 2011
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Pink Energy Sugar Free Pink Grapefruit

Pink Energy Sugar Free Pink Grapefruit

I recently moved back to Buffalo from living in Portland, OR for 2 years. When I got back, fellow Thirsty Dude Jay gave me some drinks from his stash to get my queue going. He pawned this drink off on me, presumably because he wasn't looking forward to it. I don't blame him, it has all the characteristics of a horrible energy drink: no flavor listed, company you've never heard of, diet/sugar free/0 calories, bad artwork, etc... Oh, the pull-tab says "buzz" on it too. Ugg.

After a little research on their website, I found out this is pink grapefruit flavored (or should I say flavoured since this is a Canadian product?) This was good news to me since, as I've said many times, I love grapefruit flavoured drinks. But it's still a diet energy drink so I was still skeptical.

Here is my thought process after opening it:
Hmm, smells like grapefruit and not like chemicals.
*takes first sip*
Definitely tastes like grapefruit, now lets wait for the chemical aftertaste.
*it never comes*
Wait, really?
*takes another, bigger sip*
This diet energy drink is awesome! It tastes like Squirt and doesn't taste gross at all. After a half dozen sips, I already feel energized and can't wait to be productive the rest of the night. Once again, the fine folks of Canada have made a great product.

Website
http://www.damgoodenergy.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on May 28th, 2011
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