Sugar Free (13 reviews)
Jones Sugar Free Green Apple
You know what's stopping this drink from being a good drink? The fact that it sucks. This drink tastes like sour apple plastic. If you had a book for kids that every page had a different smell and one of the pages smelled like sour apple, and then you ate it, this is what it would taste like: your child's book. Why are you eating your kids books? Why are you making drinks that taste like fruity flavored plastic? Why did this drink make it to production? Not every non-diet pop is still drinkable when you exchange real sugar for artificial sweeteners. Not everything we drink is a gem. This should be more acceptable than it is but surprise! We just found the reason why we found it for seventy cents.
- Website
- http://www.jonessoda.com
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Splenda
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/30/2012
- Comments
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Max Velocity Sugar Free Uncaged Energy Drink
Going into this I knew this was going to be bad. Any energy drink found at Big Lots (where drinks go to die) named "Max Velocity" is not good. On top of it, there's no flavor on this. What flavor is "Uncaged"? At least there's a grainy photo of a cheetah on the can.
Yup I was right, it's like a Red Bull/ Mountain Dew mix. So gross. It burns the throat as it goes down.
- Website
- http://www.albertsons.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 10/4/2012
- Comments
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Jones Sugar Free Cola
Remember when Jones came out and you thought to yourself, "Green apple pop?! Woah!" Now, look, they've still got strange, fun flavors, those crazy Canadians, but you've got to pay the bills. Diet cola sells and people love the stuff. Even for a company that prides themselves on using pure cane sugar, they can't do that unless they make a super weak, odd tasting pop. Dry does it, but they're good at it and that's their thing.
This, and you shouldn't be surprised, just tastes like a diet cola. It has an alright cola taste but is still diet. I might say that this is a titch (scientific term) better than diet Pepsi. I'm not hating; just doing a poor comparison. I'm not a hater. I'm cynical, but I'm no hater. 'Nuff respect, Pepsi. Let these guys do what they do.
- Website
- http://www.jonessoda.com
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 8/23/2012
- Comments
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Hansen's Sugar Free Acai Black Tea
Oh, no. I don't want to do this to Hansen's again. I really like a lot of their products but I have to do this. I owe it to myself so that I may sleep at night and the public since I am the messenger. People come here for professionally written reviews about products the world loves. This, though...phew. What a dump of a drink. It is a liquid. This is true. It tastes like some garbage, diet powder mix drink. Now, I've had some of those that are good, but this would not be one of those. I'm not 100% on Acai's bus. I'm half way out the door with the driver pushing me in so that he can get me, and my fellow riders, to our destination on time. Don't push me, bus driver. I'm not ready to give in, yet. This drink is bitterly sweet like Acai drinks are but, man, uber-sweet and uber-diet.
This is an abomination of a black tea. Black tea should sue Hansen's for the slander that is this drink. As soon as this hits my mouth I am in terror. Diet. Bleh. I've drunk Spenda drinks before but this might take the cake as being some of the worst I've ever had. There are light years of distance between "sugar free" and "unsweetened" and if you don't know that, you should get out of the game and enjoy something else.
Hansens. You know I love you. I love many of your products. If you could remove this and that pineapple drink that I hated from your line, I would give you the highest reward of plugging the daylights out of you, until then, justice.
- Website
- http://www.hansens.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Splenda
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 6/14/2012
- Comments
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Koma Sugar Free Unwind
Sometimes you have a long day at work and when you get home you just want to sit back relax with your ladyfriend and your cats and watch a movie. Sometimes you still feel stressed, so you drink a relaxation drink to help mellow you out. Sometimes that relaxation drink is a can of the sugar free version of Koma Unwind. Always that drink will taste like the strangeness that would be diet Pixie Stix. Instead of tasting like flavored ground down sugar it now tastes like flavored ground down sucralose. It’s somehow not completely terrible. I don’t like it as much as the normal, but for those of you out there who are accustomed to diet drinks this would probably taste pretty darn awesome.
Sometimes about a half hour after drinking this drink your still conscious, but your body feels like it is asleep. Sometimes it’s a strange sensation and it makes you feel restless, because you’re not in bed and asleep. Sometimes you give in and go to bed. Sometimes you have dreams that you’re a criminal breaking into a broken down Dave Foley’s house to break into a safe. Sometimes he comes home and you sneak out the back into a neighborhood park. Sometimes he comes out and you chat each other up. Sometimes you ask if you can use his bathroom so you can go back in and recover the jacket you left behind. Sometimes Dave Foley has a completely disgusting toilet. Sometimes the next thing you know a truck with a gallows on it is pulling up for your execution. Sometimes you make it so the truck rolls down the hill into the lake in order to not die. Then sometimes for some inexplicable reason you dream about drawing highly lifelike pictures of Hugh Laurie.
Sometimes life is very strange with Koma.
- Website
- http://www.komaunwind.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Relaxation
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/30/2012
- Comments
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Hansen's Sugar Free Passionfruit Green Tea
I’m sorry, but I have nothing positive to say about this drink. It doesn’t really taste like tea at all, even though it has natural tea solids. It also tastes overly diet. Splenda is the devil, and it has no place in beverages. Drink companies of the world take note. It’s gross. I don’t want to drink it. Keep it out of your drinks, so I don’t have to taste it when I write reviews. I understand the need for diet drinks. We live in a country where the majority of the inhabitants are overweight in an unhealthy way. Diet drinks are fine; just use natural sweeteners such as Stevia. Finally, the peach flavor tastes insanely fake due to all of the artificial sweetener that’s in here. Hansen’s I expected more from you.
- Website
- http://www.hansens.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Acesulfame Potassium
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/29/2012
- Comments
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Rockstar Sugar Free Energy Drink
Full disclosure: I am sick. It's been over a year since I’ve been sick so it's not that upsetting. I have a horrible cough and my nose is like a faucet. I woke up today feeling slightly better so I thought I'd come to the coffee shop to get some work done. I didn't think drinking coffee while being sick was the best idea, so for some stupid reason I thought an energy drink would be better.
In the past I have hated every Rockstar energy drink I've tried. Maybe it's because my nose is so stuffed that I can't smell a thing and it's throwing my taste buds off, but I actually don't mind this one. It has a less sweet Red Bull/melted candy taste. I'm not sure if this is the best thing for my body right now, but it definitely woke me up enough to realize that I’m still too sick to work.
- Website
- http://www.rockstar69.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 3/22/2012
- Comments
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Fighting Cock Sugar Free Energy Drink
File this under the list of drinks that kids love to buy just because of the name. See also Fukola, Cocaine and Not See Kola. I'm sure this drink is "banned" from high schools all over the country. I don't think it should be banned because of the name, but the taste. I really liked the original version of this, but this sugar free variety is gross. I have been drinking a lot of diet drinks lately, and this is one of the worst I've had in a while.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 1/3/2012
- Comments
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Sentinel Sugar Free Citrus
As of today I have officially crossed the line into abusing energy drinks territory. I'm not at a point (and don't think I ever will be) where I need them to get my day moving, like a coffee addict. No, today I was out of "quick" food in my house before work so I drank this energy drink as an appetite suppressant. That's the whole concept of diet pills, right? They are chock full of caffeine so you don't feel hungry. I learned that from Saved By the Bell, and if you are between the ages of 25 and 35 you probably did too.
I have to say it worked. I didn't feel hungry the entire time I was working. Job well done Sentinel. I must also point out that this was the lightest energy drink I've ever had. To the extent that it felt like I wasn't really drinking anything. The flavor is really, really mild citrus, and the sucralose is down so far in the list of ingredients that it tastes like you have a glass of soda water with both an orange and lime slice in it that someone put just a tad bit of artificial sweetener in it. Very strange indeed.
I was going to write some dumb story about the Sentinels from X-Men, but then I got ashamed of my abuse. Just pretend I wrote something about how crushing mutants is a hard job, and even robots need a little pick me up from time to time.
- Website
- http://www.jumpbeverages.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/18/2011
- Comments
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Blu Sugar Free Energy Drink
Matt loves going to dance clubs. He loves dancing so much that he weaseled his way into a job as a bar back at his favorite club in town, Blue Monday. Yes, they are so original that they named themselves after New Order's most well known song. They even host "New Order Mondays". It's pretty absurd if you ask me, but the kids seem to like it.
Another interesting thing about Matt is he's straight edge. He gets made fun of a lot for being around alcohol all day long, but he doesn't care. His love for dancing overrides his distaste for alcoholic drinks. Since he's been working at Blue Monday for so long, they started taking his suggestions for non-alcoholic drinks to stock. The owner was pretty loyal to Red Bull for a while, but when Matt told him there was a line of energy drinks called "Blu", he jumped for joy. Literally, he leapt into the air. I wasn't there, but I know the bartender on at the time and he said it was really weird.
A few weeks later they got their first shipment of Blu energy drinks. It was a huge success. The post-ironic crowd the club drew loved the idea of drinking Blu energy drinks, inside of a club called Blue Monday, while the song "Blue Monday" by New Order was playing. Occasionally they'd also play "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65 to mix things up a bit. It was really gross.
Last time I was there was for the opening day of New Order November (don't ask). They were all out of the other flavors of Blu so I tried the sugar free version for the first time. I was expecting it to be gross, but it wasn't that bad at all. It tasted really similar to sugar free Red Bull. I'm glad to see my friend Matt is happy and the club is doing well with their Blu energy drink sales. I just hope someday the owner will realize that irony is dead.
- Website
- http://blu4lifeusa.com
- Country
- Poland
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 9/29/2011
- Comments
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