Super Green Drink (4 reviews)

Cell-nique Super Green Drink Tropical Fruit

Cell-nique Super Green Drink Tropical Fruit

John, I've got a fresh case of fruit. We don't have time to do the usual routine of cleaning, peeling, juicing, straining, and all that other stuff. We're swamped with other stuff and don't have time for all those steps. Just do what you can to get that fruit into these bottles. Oh, one more thing, the box fell out of my car and into a pile of sand. Good luck.

Great, now I've got to crush these and I have to leave in 9 minutes. Did he take what I usually use to clean all these? All I have is a cheese grater. Son of a gun! Whatever. I'm going to have to grate pineapples and stuff the same way I would grate mozzarella. I certainly wouldn't buy this batch. Plus, this sand, is he kidding me. If I had like 5 extra minutes I would rinse these but I've got to go to baseball practice and coach said if I was late one more time, he'd make me play outfield and we all know that outfield is one step away from off the team. This actually isn't as hard as I thought and I'm burning through this box of fruit. I'm going to bottle these here...alright...careful...got a little on the floor and if there isn't enough time to clean up the fruit, there isn't enough time to clean the floor. Honestly, who fills up a bottle with a handful of Wendy's straws? Hasn't anyone ever heard of a funnel before? Alright, done. All that fruit actually fit in there. Everything has settled on the bottom so let me give it a shake...alright. Taking a sip. Wow. Hey boss! You've got to try this. It's better than our usual stuff. It's got substance and that kiddie pool sand actually gives it an interesting texture. The tropics have never tasted so good. It's really natural tasting, like I'm eating fruit and some rind, you know, like you would if you ate real fruit. We should be in a bind for more time more often. Alright, sorry about the mess. I've got to get to practice. I'll clean up this ridiculous mess tomorrow. Wait tomorrow is Saturday. Monday. Ugh, this is going to be awful to clean up Monday. Whatever. See you later, boss.

Website
http://www.cell-nique.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 2nd, 2011
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Cell-nique Super Green Drink Tropical Fruit 12 x 12 Oz

Cell-nique Super Green Drink Berry Grape

Cell-nique Super Green Drink Berry Grape

In retrospect, which doesn't count ever since it's too late, I wish we had done the dark chocolate review later in the game. I feel that we would have "gotten" the drink a little bit more. They have gotten increasingly better with every drink. Don't get me wrong. It's still a strange drink. It’s wonderful for you, but strange as could be. Sludgy. Dirty. Sandy.

Mike, not me, but one of the other Mike's in our office needed a "pick me up" drink. We went over to the fridge and I ran through the list. Pop? No. Lemonade? No. Tea? No. This? Oh yeah. I made him shake it because it's gratifying to watch the junk on the bottom mix into the dirt water looking drink.

Here's the thing, though...it's good. It is actually berry flavored. I don't know about grape, but it's a pretty honest berry flavor. There's the grit in your teeth that you learn to love with Cell-Nique stuff, too, especially at the bottom of the bottle. It's a good fruity flavor and although some people here who tried it thought it wasn't good, I think that it is and this is my site and I'm giving it a 4.

Website
http://www.cell-nique.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 15th, 2011
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Cell-Nique Super Green Berry Grape, Berry Grape 12 oz

Cell-nique Super Green Drink Citrus Vanilla

Cell-nique Super Green Drink Citrus Vanilla

What a relief. After the dark chocolate debacle from a few weeks ago, I was anxious to find some redeeming product from Cell-Nique. This did it. Not a hard competition to have something better than "the worst" rating you can get but all the same, this isn't bad.

Let it be known, that this is probably a health food drink over a standard juice or whatever. It's sludgy, gritty, bold, and flavorful. It's pretty good, though. It's like an orange juice with vanilla in it, for some reason, and then some jerk threw a handful of (edible) sand in it. Cell-nique claims that it's like "A farmer's market in every bottle" and I might give it to him. I really feel like this is good for you and the thickness and color don’t convince me otherwise.

This drink makes me happier to try the other flavors we have in stock. I'm finding it kind of fun and strange simultaneously to not have anything in my mouth, take a drink, swallow, and be left picking stuff out of my teeth with my tongue. It's an experience, I can tell you that much.

Website
http://www.cell-nique.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Naturally Sweetened
Categories
Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 11th, 2011
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Cell-nique Super Green Drink Citrus Vanilla 12 x 12 Oz

Cell-nique Super Green Drink Dark Chocolate

Cell-nique Super Green Drink Dark Chocolate

Mike and I have had our collective eye on the Cell-nique drinks for months. We would see it in the store every time we went. More often than not we would pick it up and look at the bottom of the bottle. There is so much sludge there. It was equally enticing and disturbing. The $4 price tag deterred us for a long time, but I finally gave in this week. I wish that I had put it off even longer.

Let's start with the fact that this has the longest list of ingredients that I have ever seen on a drink. There are 36 different ingredients. Sheer insanity. There is so much crazy stuff in here that I never in a million years would have expected to drink. Also, everything says "Organic" before it. I hate when companies do that. It's such overkill. This is pretty much supposed to be the healthiest thing you can ever drink. By default that means that it's going to be one gag shy of a trip to Pukeland, USA.

Here is my thought process starting with smelling it:
-Wow this doesn't smell nearly as bad as I expected. It has a general cocoa smell, with some undertones of weirdness. This might not be nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Oh wow it would rule if this actually tasted good for how healthy it is for you.
*Bottles Up*
-Okay that tastes like a strangely fruity dark chocolate bar. It’s not the greatest thing ever, but not that bad. I also expected this to have little chunks of grain (Quinona) in it.
*.2 seconds later*
Oh sweet Jesus what the hell is that flavor. It's like someone took every single thing that was in a fridge and put it all into a blender. It's a complete assault on the taste buds. There is absolutely nothing good about this flavor. Show me someone who enjoys this and I will show you someone who is either a liar or someone that was tragically born without taste buds.
*Again .2 seconds later*
Okay now it tastes like I just ate a spoonful of black licorice and hot chocolate mix, but the taste of liquid hell is still lingering in the background. Oh man this flavor just will not leave my mouth. I may have to cut out my tongue if this doesn't go away. I'm going to try and wash it down with something else.
*Hands bottle to Mike, goes into the kitchen and downs a tasty fluid*

Mike wanted to add that it tasted like he was eating a campfire somewhere in the middle of the flavor spectrum. I can't comprehend how disgusting this is. It's now a few hours after my initial tasting and I still have the memory of the flavor on my tongue. I've eaten several things since then as well.

Mike said that I should give this a two. Things this healthy don't have a chance in the flavor department. Sometimes you have to deal with something purely disgusting for the sake of health. This is so disgusting that the only way I could give it a two was if it gave me supernatural powers. I'm still normal me, so it's getting the loneliest of all numbers.

Website
http://www.cell-nique.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Naturally Sweetened
Categories
Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 24th, 2011
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Cell-Nique, Green Spr Drk Choc Drk, 12 FO (Pack of 12) ( Value Bulk Multi-pack)
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