Derek Neuland (496 reviews)

After 4 years, 6 cavities, and 2 pulled teeth, Derek has decided to hang up the bottle opener. You can keep up with his (mostly) sugar-free writing and photography at derekneuland.com.

Teas' Tea Half & Half Green Tea with Coconut

Teas' Tea Half & Half Green Tea with Coconut

What's the perfect drink while you're holed up in your house during a snowstorm? If you said hot chocolate you are wrong. Today my vote goes for this iced tea. It's already warm inside my house so I needed something cool and refreshing that reminds me that spring is only a couple months away.

I'm pretty sure this is my first green tea/coconut half and half and I really hope it's not my last. It's really good and crisp and refreshing and probably a bunch of other positive adjectives.

Website
http://teastea.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Coconut, Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on February 8th, 2013
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Dr. Pepper Diet

Dr. Pepper Diet

Have you ever heard the Patton Oswalt bit he does about an open mic he hosted in Toronto? Well it is relevant to this review since the guy he talks about in the bit is named Dr. Pepper. You know what, do yourself a favor and listen to/watch the bit:



Sadly this can of Diet Dr. Pepper isn't as funny as that. It's not as bad as most diet sodas, but it's also not as good as most other varieties of Dr. Pepper. At least we got to hear a funny bit from Patton Oswalt right?

Website
http://www.drpepper.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Aspartame
Categories
Diet, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on January 25th, 2013
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Diet Dr. Pepper 24 Pack of 12 fl oz Cans, 288 Fl OUNCES

Monster Rehab Protean + Energy

Monster Rehab Protean + Energy

UGH! That is what I exclaimed when I first took a sip of this. I have enjoyed all the other Monster Rehab drinks, but this is borderline undrinkable. It tastes like someone was potting a plant next to it and accidentally got some of the soil inside. They tried to filter all the soil out, but the taste was still there and they just hoped no one would notice.

Well I noticed and it sucks. I hate wasting drinks but I can't even take a third sip.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on January 23rd, 2013
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8 Pack - Monster Rehab - Protean + Energy - 15.5oz

Royalty Ginger Beer

Royalty Ginger Beer

With a name like 'Royalty', I was expecting this to be a fancy ginger beer. Okay, maybe not THAT fancy since I got it for $1.30 at Spice Bazaar, but still. If ginger beer were as common as cola or root beer, I would call this a 'classic tasting ginger beer'. Mike and Jay will probably know what I mean since they are some of the few humans who have tasted around the same amount of ginger beer as I have. With that I’m saying that it has a good ginger taste, but a very minimal burn. While I prefer a good burn with ginger beer, this is still pretty tasty.

Website
http://sunmark.co.uk/
Country
United Kingdom
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Ginger, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on January 17th, 2013
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Royalty Ginger Beer 11oz (Case of 24 Cans)

Jolly Rancher Blue Raspberry

Jolly Rancher Blue Raspberry

When people make a blanket statement and call all soda "sugar water", I immediately want to cry out and tell them about all the amazing sodas I have had that are far from sugar water.

Then I had this soda, and understood what they meant. There is barely any raspberry flavor in this Windex looking soda. Liquid Jolly Ranchers at it's worst. I thought this was going to be a sweet treat for myself, but I was sadly disappointed.

Website
http://www.hersheys.com/jolly-rancher.aspx
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on January 13th, 2013
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Jolly Rancher Soda Variety Pack 24 Count 20 Oz

Monster Zero Ultra

Monster Zero Ultra

First impression: this can looks like a "fancy" designer t-shirt you would find at a flea market for $9.99. Also, (much like the Monster Cuba-Lima) this can is textured, adding to the weird image I have of a 11 year old wannabe gangsta from the suburbs exclaiming "Whoa, that can matches my shirt!" which his mom bought him in the boys section of JC Penny. The name of this drink also seems like something said kid (let's call him Chad) would have made up 2 years prior as he was watching Power Rangers Ninja Storm.

Of course Chad will deny he made up his own Power Ranger named Zero Ultra when he's drinking this, even if he secretly still has the cover he drew of Zero Ultra Comics #1 in his closet. Six months from now he will also stop wearing this weird patterned shirt that matches this because his "cooler" friend will say it isn't cool anymore. But at least Chad had a moment where he was a trendsetter and Monster was behind on the times for once.

It's a shame the can and name of this drink are so bad because the drink is actually really good. It tastes like a Squirt snow cone. It's smooth and refreshing, and isn't as sweet as most energy drinks. My advice to Monster: keep making the textured cans, but design the cans better.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on January 11th, 2013
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Monster Zero Ultra less sweet, lighter-tasting energy drink, carbonated, zero calories, 16-fl. oz. cans, 12-pack tray

Jones Zilch Vanilla Bean Soda

Jones Zilch Vanilla Bean Soda

I decided I need/want to get into better shape. I'm not going to lie, I’m a chubby dude. I can only blame the beverages from this site so much (seeing as both the other 'dudes' have reviewed much more than me and still weigh much less than me). And no, this is not a "new years resolution" because I joined a gym 2 months before New Years. I just decided today to start getting serious about it.

I did yoga for the first time in a while today and I came to the conclusion that I need something better than pajamas to work out in. So after dinner today, Jenna and I went to Old Navy because I had a gift card from X-mas. I proceeded to purchase 2 different kinds of workout pants and a pair of mesh shorts to workout in.

Did you know Old Navy sells drinks? I've passed by the cooler several times but have never given it more than a half glance. Today they had a decent selection of Jones soda and I had never seen this one so I grabbed it without thinking on the way to the counter. I guess that's how they get you.

Like I expected, this is basically a cream soda with a strong vanilla taste. Even though I'm pretty used to diet soda fake sugars, this has a chemically aftertaste that I don't like. So close Jones, so close.

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on January 8th, 2013
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Jones, Zilch, Vanilla Bean, 4 x 12.00 OZ (Pack of 6)

Flying Bison Apple Cinnamon Soda

Flying Bison Apple Cinnamon Soda

It's exciting when Village Beer Merchant updates their tap list and posts it to Facebook. Every time, I click "read more" and scroll down to the bottom to see if they have a new soda. Last week, it read "Apple Cinnamon Soda". It makes sense. It's a very winter-esque soda. I feel like it may be a little more appropriate during the fall, but I’m not picky.

It took a little bit of time but I finally made it over there today to get my growler filled with this delicious sounding soda. I have never had an apple cinnamon soda, and as far as I know neither has Mike or Jay. So this first sip was an adventure. I was expecting this to taste like apple cider with carbonation.

Was I right? Nope. It tastes like apple pie filling with extra cinnamon. Not classic mom made apple pie, more so the sugar filled ones you can get at any gas station for 99 cents. While it's not what I was expecting, I really like it. The cinnamon has a nice kick to it and is similar (but not as intense) as a good ginger burn. Village Beer Merchant/Flying Bison did it again, good job!

Website
http://www.flyingbisonbrewing.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on January 3rd, 2013
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OKF Aloe Vera King Pomegranate Taste

OKF Aloe Vera King Pomegranate Taste

It's been a while since I’ve had an aloe drink. Not because I haven't been in the mood for them, I really have. The reason I've been without them is we have reviewed most of the ones I have come across in the last few months. Then I found this wonderful chunky drink at an Asian supermarket.

Korea really knows their aloe drinks. This is delicious with a nice tart pomegranate taste. I wish it had more chunks of aloe, but you can't win them all. So I bow to you, all mighty Aloe Vera King.

Website
http://www.okfcorp.co.kr/
Country
Korea
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on January 2nd, 2013
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King Aloe Vera King Juice, Pomegranate, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 20)

Bios Life Matcha Focus

Bios Life Matcha Focus

I went over to my Mom's house a couple months ago and she was drinking this green algae like drink. I was puzzled because the only things I ever see her drinking is iced coffee or diet soda. When I inquired about it, she started going on about how it's this amazing Matcha drink and it's better than coffee. I tried it and it tasted good, so she sent me home with a few packets.

I finally got around to trying it out myself. The green powder doesn't really mix with water very well. It felt like I was stirring it for a good 3 minutes and I am still finding little chunks in it as I'm drinking. The taste though, just as I remembered, is incredible. It's a lot like the green smoothie drinks that Bolthouse and Naked sells, but not as thick and more fruit flavors in it. I can't pinpoint any, but the website for this says it's made with pomegranates and blueberries mixed with the matcha (which is a type of green tea).

Before I started drinking this I was feeling a bit sleepy, but I'm halfway through the glass and I’m already feeling more awake. I'm glad my mom gave me a few packets so it will hold me over until I have a chance to buy some more.

Website
http://www.unicitycanada.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea, Mix/Concentrate
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on January 1st, 2013
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Bios Life Matcha Focus - Natural Energy Source
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