Jason Draper (1142 reviews)
Goya Tamarind Nectar
I am a fan of most of the Goya Nectar drinks. I usually get them in the larger bottles, but this flavor I've only ever seen in a can. I learned today that although the bottles use natural sweeteners, the ones in the cans all seem to be sweetened with High Fructose Corn Syrup. In my opinion that's already deducted points. The taste of the nectar reminded me of a mix of apple and grape juice, with a strange earthy undertone. It really did nothing for me.
- Website
- http://goya.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/6/2010
- Buy Now
- Goya Tamarind Nectar
Vita Coco Coconut Water Peach & Mango
First off, I really dislike coconut, so I've avoided this beverage for a while. After several people assured me that it did not taste anything like coconut, I decided to have a go of it. I was nervous when I was about to try it, but they were correct. It doesn't taste like coconut at all. What it does taste like is a chalky milky substance, which is on the edge of curdling because of the acidity of the fruit juice. At first I didn't think it was bad, but the more I drink it, I can't get that thought of it going bad out of my mind. The other flavors might not be as bad, but I doubt I will be trying them any time soon.
- Website
- http://www.vitacoco.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/7/2010
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
R.W. Knudsen Sparkling Essence Cucumber
This looked so enticing sitting on the shelf. I had never even thought of it before, but a cucumber spritzer just sounds so refreshing. Unfortunately the carbonation in the drink tastes exactly like seltzer water, which I greatly dislike. I will say that underneath the bitter seltzer taste, it does taste exactly like cucumbers. Hopefully in the future a different cucumber spritzer will hit the market that I can enjoy.
- Website
- http://www.rwknudsenfamily.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/7/2010
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
R.W. Knudsen Sparkling Essence Blueberry
After my disappointment with the cucumber Sparkling Essence, I was skeptical to try another flavor. Today I gave in and tried the blueberry. It had the same strong seltzer water flavor that I just can't get into. It does smell and taste exactly like blueberries. I just wish they would carbonate it differently. I did have a friend who likes seltzer have the rest of my can, and they loved it. So if seltzer is "on your list of the best things in life," this very well may be the sparkling beverage for you.
- Website
- http://www.rwknudsenfamily.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/7/2010
12 Noon To Midnight Original
This bottled beverage taunted me for months from the shelf of my local grocery store. The bottle made it look so fancy and tasty. I thought of it as the grail of beverages. The $8 price tag on it always deterred me. I would look up at it weekly and say "Some day. Some day." Finally I got to the point where I couldn't stand it any longer and bought it to have with dinner that night. This drink had been built up in my head to such a level that I cannot describe my disappointment as it splashed on my tongue. It tasted like the blandest fruit juice I had ever tasted. It tasted the way every health food was described in 80's movies. It also had a strong fennel aftertaste, even though it's not listed in the ingredients. I had a handful of other people taste it, wondering if it had magically powers that made it taste so disgusting to those who weren't worthy of it's glory. After one sip everyone thought it was completely terrible, and half a bottle of it was sadly poured down the drain.
- Website
- http://www.twelvebeverage.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/8/2010
Quinoa Gold Caffeine-Free Energy Mango Passion
When I saw this intriguing beverage I was pre-warned that this was "completely gross" by a friend who had already been roped into trying it. I was feeling adventurous (and I thought it couldn't be nearly as bad as he said it was), so I decided to give it a chance. Oh how I wish I hadn't. It was extremely bland. The quinoa "supergrain" gives the nearly flavorless beverage the consistency of a grits milkshake. I'm usually a fan of pulp and other floaty things in drinks, but this was just too much. I couldn't even finish a third of the bottle. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone as an everyday drink, but if you're drinking it for the health benefits, I say good luck to you.
- Website
- http://www.quinoagold.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Agave Nectar
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/8/2010
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Taylor's Tonics Cola Azteca
I'm not a fan of most coffee drinks, but I do occasionally enjoy a mocha. I unfortunately did not enjoy the Cafe Azteca. I guess it remotely tastes like mocha, but it is extremely strong and burns a lot. It wasn't what I expected after having the other Taylor's Tonics drinks. At first I thought it might have been my dislike of coffee drinks that was weighing my opinion, but after having some avid coffee drinkers taste it, everyone agreed it was way too strong for its own good. Out of the seven or so people who tasted it, only one really enjoyed it.
- Website
- http://www.taylorstonics.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Evaporated Cane Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/8/2010
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Genesis Boost Youth Mangosteen
I've seen these drinks around a few times, but the $4-$5 price range always deterred me from trying it. When I saw it on sale for $2, I realized it was time to give it a chance. I've had dried mangosteen in the past, and it was pretty decent, so I was looking forward to this. When I opened it, there was brown gunk on the inside of the cap, I checked the expiration date, and it hadn't passed, so I chalked it up to "health food sludge." The smell is pretty terrible, like a fruit that is past ripeness. First swig it wasn't so bad, but it was kind of hard for me to finish the bottle. It reminded me of cider when it's just on the verge of becoming alcoholic. This is definitely not the beverage for me.
- Website
- http://www.genesisboost.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Elixir, Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/16/2010
- Comments
- 2 Comments. Leave a comment.
Function Light Weight Peach Mango
Ugh. I have had such good experiences with the other Function flavors I've tried. When I saw a peach mango one, I was so stoked. I didn't even take into consideration that it was "Light Weight." It tastes like nothing but artificial sweetener. I get no specific peach or mango flavor. It starts off with a general fruit flavor, and quickly turns to sucralose hell. If you are an alien and love the taste of artificial sweeteners, this may be right up your alley. I will be steering clear. Unfortunately I bought another flavor of "Light Weight" that I still have to review.
- Website
- http://www.functiondrinks.com/
- Country
- United States
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/19/2010
Goya Malta
Imagine the following. It's Thanksgiving. Everyone has just sat down for a wonderful traditional meal. Suddenly your crazy aunt comes in and pours eight gallons of pureed prunes on everything. That is exactly what Malta Goya tastes like to me. It is the worst beverage I have ever tasted in my life.
Years ago, when I first moved into my current apartment, we had a taco party. Someone thought it would be a good idea to bring a case of this. We all in turn thought it would be a great idea to all chug them at the same time. I then spent the next hour laying on my bathroom floor cringing in pain. I didn't even get another one of these to drink while I wrote this review (which is how I normally do it). It's that bad that I never want the flavor on my tongue again. I wish I could give it a negative rating.
Like this beverage, my sister's boyfriend is from Puerto Rico. I guess people drink it down there like crazy. They can't get enough of it. I can't even come close to understanding that.
- Website
- http://goya.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/23/2010
- Comments
- 5 Comments. Leave a comment.
