Mike Literman (1741 reviews)

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

San Pellegrino Melograno E Arancia

San Pellegrino Melograno E Arancia

It's not often that we find "regular" drinks on the shelves everywhere but today I found this while buying a seasonal corned beef sandwich. I was surprised when we hadn't reviewed it because both Jay and I enjoy a nice can of San P when given the opportunity. It's more calories than we like but they're good so we like it. How did this far? Well it fared well because sitting next to me is an empty can. It's very fruity and all of the orange and pomegranate juice comes through nicely. It's not overly sweet or fruity. It hits you right in the sweet spot. If you gave this to a scientist and said, "Dr. Scientist? Why are there so many calories in this juice?" They would probably say something like, "You mispronounce my name. It's 'Craig' and it's because there are a lot of calories in fruit and you know….sugar."

So fruit has calories. Calories are displayed as "joules" in the UK, right? That's cooler. American's hate calories. Joules sound way cooler. We should switch. Let's take the metric system while we're at it. Oh, and get rid of daylight savings time. Just rip those bandages right off all at once. Be on the right side of history, friends.

Website
http://www.sanpellegrino.com
Country
Italy
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 12th, 2018
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Sail Away Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Sweetened

Sail Away Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Sweetened

Darren, get over here. You're fired if you don't get me that Johnson report. Darren, you had two weeks to work on that report and there are jobs on the line. What do you have to say for yourself? What's this? Coffee? You think that this single can of coffee is going to make up for the eight people that might have to lose their jobs because you were too busy, what? What were you doing instead of working on that report? Chat Roulette? Darren. I don't even know what to say. I'm actually quite sure that it is all dongs, Darren. No, I'm pretty sure that it is. I've been there. All dongs. Welp, I might as well try this coffee.

This is decent. Maybe not decent enough to save all eight jobs but enough that I'm in a good mood and might give you a four hour extension if you assure me that you will get it in by eight tonight. You know what? And you have to wash my car. Yeah, I said it. Wash my car, Darren. This weekend. Come over to my estate and wash my car. I'm sticking my neck out for you because you're our most faithful employee clocking in at nine months, a pathetic stat. Let me have another sip of this here coffee. It's good, Darren. I don't typically drink coffee with just sugar but this is sweetened just enough to take the bitter edge off regular cold brew. I'm going to have no problem drinking this as a moderate coffee drinker. I can, and will drink this whole can while you get to your desk and get cracking on that report. If you have any more of this I'll take it. Let's consider it a "backroom deal" that allows you to keep your cushy job here.

Website
http://sailawaycoffee.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 12th, 2018
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Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee Girl Scouts Peanut Butter Cookie

Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee Girl Scouts Peanut Butter Cookie

More Girl Scout cookies. The dense, fat kid in me enjoys Girl Scout cookies. Keep 'em coming. If I didn't have self-respect, I could crush a whole box. I mean, there are only like twenty cookies in each box, right? No problem. Dare me. Don't dare me. I don't need all those cookies. I have liquid cookies now.

With all due respect, this didn't really taste too much like the cookies. I could not pinpoint the flavor. If you (generously) bought this and put it in front of me, I would not be able to tell you what it was. That being said, it was not bad. It was sweet but not tooth-shatteringly sweet. Since I couldn't tell you what it was, I am not married to this guy. Between this and the previously drank Thin Mint, I would take the Thin Mint. Between the Thin Mint and the standard mocha swirl that I like to get, I would get the mocha. A limited time offer? It doesn't bother me at all.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 12th, 2018
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Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee Thin Mint

Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee Thin Mint

Ahh limited edition flavors. They come and go so frequently that I don't know if things came or went. When it comes time to try Girl Scout Thin Mint iced coffee, I'm in. Sure, Samosa is working its way up the chart to my heart; Thin Mint is still on top. I drink one mocha iced coffee from Dunkin' per week so to add a little mint to it is a nice little gift.

In execution it's a little strange. You "get it" but you "get it" like when you see art and you understand what they're going for but it's not something that's for you. You taste the chocolate and that's fine but the mint is a little strange. I drank it and, you know, I might drink it again but it's not my favorite. Something was just a tiny bit off and I think the mint is close to the original but there is some sort of chemical imbalance that throws it off.


Big ups to The Impulsive Buy for the tip.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 9th, 2018
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Sail Away Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Unsweetened

Sail Away Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Unsweetened

I was dreading this for the following reasons. Nitro coffee murders my nerves. Other people's cold brew murders my nerves. Unsweetened coffee is unpalatable to me. Three good reasons, right? Well this is either really good coffee or I'm used to it. I'm slanting a little towards the former than the latter.

This was good. You could taste the roast of the beans and it wasn't terribly strong. I'm feeling it in my fingers as I mash these keys faster than my mind can function but I don't have so much extra energy that my body is contorting into shapes that are foreign to the limbs performing the actions.

As a coffee, it's fairly straightforward. No extra spices or flavors, just black coffee. I would say, "no frills" but to make coffee this decent takes skill in itself. Known coffee disliker me had no problem drinking a third of the can which, for no reason other I don't want to visit the moon today, is all I will be drinking. Whatever happens to the dude that drinks the other 2/3 of it, well, I'm not his dad. He can do what he wants. Maybe he'll get a million energies and go build a gazebo or something. Just be safe, man. It's slurring my keys like someone replaced the coffee with coffee-flavored alcohol. Drunk gazeboing cannot be a good idea. Speed squares and measurements will earn a better result than "the quickness."

Website
http://sailawaycoffee.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 7th, 2018
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Core Organic Blueberry

Core Organic Blueberry

You know. It's a juice.

Wild blueberry. Is that different than a "regular" blueberry? I feel like you could add adjectives to anything and as long as it's not "wrong," it's right. "Well you do find them in the wild so they are technically wild blueberries. LOLZ." Farmers. Whatever, dudes.

This is fine. I didn't expect much as it's a Stevia juice with low calories. They kind of take the form of a fruit flavored sugar after a while. This doesn't taste bad but it hardly tastes like any blueberry I've ever tasted and I've been known to eat a blueberry every now and then. At ten calories per bottle though, I cannot and will not complain. This is actually a decent drink that met my expectations and allowed me to happily drink while not knowing if I was going to have some sort of caloric overload or sugar high, neither of which I want.

Website
http://core-hydration.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 2nd, 2018
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Hint Caffeine Kick Lemon Cayenne

Hint Caffeine Kick Lemon Cayenne

This is half wonderfully punishing and half reminiscent of my jobs as a dishwasher. That's where I place it. The lemon ,oh, dat lemon. I don't know where this lemon flavor is from but it does not taste like real lemon. If it's real, I guess I don't know what real lemon taste like. As for the cayenne, I am from Buffalo and my roots are in cayenne. This is a welcomed punch in the tongue. Ever since Jay and I got rightfully reamed out by the guys as Prometheus Springs, we have grown to love and appreciate a nice, spicy drink. This being a water drink, though, has its chuggability diminished by the fact your mouth would be increasingly on fire. Being from where I am, though, this is actually good. Take a little sip. Get a little burn. Take a big gulp. Get a big burn. Swish it around. There's that tingle you want. Am I a masochist? Nope. Do I like a good runny nose when I eat spicy food? Yes I do.

The lemon did take some getting used to but was it awful? No. It wasn't. It just took my taste buds for a loop. It might have been the spice that threw it off. I don't know. I have another one at home that I look forward to drinking. Maybe I'll give it to my kids when they're bothering me. Was that Hint's intention? I don't care. Hint didn't know that they were going to trash their room again and expect me to clean it up did they? Some people spank their kids. I might just choose to give them secretly spicy drinks when they're not listening to their G.D. dad after he asked them to feed the dog four G.D. times.

Oh, and I don't know why there is caffeine in there. Do people need caffeine in their water?

Website
http://www.drinkhint.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 28th, 2018
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Stok Cold Brew Vanilla

Stok Cold Brew Vanilla

I drink one cup of coffee per day. I do not need it. I don't know why I do it. I might think I'm an adult but I could throw a baseball in any direction and have five people say that I am a fraud of a man.

This drink. I didn't know that it was vanilla as I graciously pulled it off the shelf. I did when I unwrapped it and then again as I drank it. The vanilla doesn't kill the drink and, if anything it smooths it out like any good, self-respecting vanilla would do. I don't know if there was milk in it but it could have been the vanilla that made it have that smoothness. They were spot on with their "Not Too Sweet" title, too because it's not tooth gratingly sweet. All of this while still retaining a good coffee flavor. All wrapped up in a nice little package.

One thing to note is that they must be making a hell of a concentrate to start off with. They tout a ten hour brew which is fourteen hours shorter than the cold brew I make and arguably as strong. They might be up to something in that facility. Take note. Sorcery perhaps?

Website
http://stokcoffee.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 20th, 2018
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Nestea Real Brewed Black Tea & Rooibos

Nestea Real Brewed Black Tea & Rooibos

Surprisingly after all this time we have only reviewed two Nestea drinks on this site. While not terribly surprising, they have put out decent things in the past and this should be added to the list assuming that you like rooibos. More about that in a second.

As I've said before, if I had it my way, I would just drink unsweetened tea for the rest of my life. Sugar is great but since I've been winding down in my reviews, I find it harder and harder to drink full sugar drinks like tea and pop. This was a nice treat at "slightly sweet." That I can deal with.

The black tea doesn't really shine and that strange/foreign rooibos takes its place. While I don't hate rooibos, its taste takes some getting used to. It seems fruitier and strangely darker than a black tea. Having drunk black tea pretty exclusively, it's a new flavor I'm just not accustomed to. It's absolutely not bad and I would actually put it in the "good" category. It was truly "slightly sweet" which I appreciated them sticking to their guns on.

I would like to try the black slightly sweet tea that they make. That might be a nice little number. Until I find it, though, I will try its older, more sophisticated, curmudgeonly unsweetened brethren.

Website
http://www.nestea.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 20th, 2018
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Bai Lambari Watermelon Lime

Bai Lambari Watermelon Lime

I think if Thirsty Dudes could have one sponsor it would be Big Lots. I believe that I speak for both Jay and myself when I say that for drinks, it's a great place. They never have the same thing and you could go once a month and find new stuff. It's not the best stuff, sure. It's not the most high end stuff, sure. Sometimes you find a lot of the same stuff but anything that's there a lot is truly and undeniably garbage at best. Recently they've been getting some nicer stuff though like Bruce Cost, Illy and Belvoir. Maybe they know we're going there.

This last time I went with my brother who has never "Thirsty Dude'd" with me and he just watched as I nonchalantly knocked drink after drink into my handcart. This being one of them and I'm glad I did because it's pretty darn good. Somehow the lime does cut through and ruin everything. The watermelon flavor was light and first followed by the lime. They're also doing a good job at taming their array of sweeteners because it no longer tastes like Stevia threw up in your mouth. It's also in a nice, small can so you don't get overwhelmed by the flavor. It's sweet. Not too sweet but I think anything larger than this there would be remainders.

Big Lots, if you're listening, we're accepting offers.

Website
http://www.drinkbai.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Bai Natural Sweetener Blend (Erythritol and Organi
Categories
Diet, Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 19th, 2018
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