Mike Literman (1761 reviews)

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

Peloton Cascara Tea Cranberry Lime

Peloton Cascara Tea Cranberry Lime


On route to who cares where in New York City, I picked up this bad boy. It's good. I wanted tea. It's like 80 degrees in October, dude. Jay and I are tired and thirsty, man. I got it and didn't think twice. It was kind of expensive but it's New York so who cares? $3. This place is an island. It costs more to get things here.

Cranberry Lime is a good standard. The tea is good. It's darker that I thought. It was pretty low in calories, too. 60 calories for the bottle. Calories. Who gives a rip? It's honestly pretty regular. Regular good. Jay says it tastes like Mamma Chia without the seeds. I'd get it again. That says a lot. They don't sell it by me.

Website
http://https://www.drinkpeloton.com/
Country
United Kingdom
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 7th, 2018
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Poland Spring Black Cherry

Poland Spring Black Cherry

I'm New York City. Can you tell? Have you seen Jay and I taking the city by storm? We're truly crushing this place. We've eaten all day. We've walked basically one hundred miles. We've seen things, man.

We're eating and drinking and eating and drinking. After doing that for a day and a half, we needed to calm down and drink some seltzer.

You already know what it is, mang. It's black cherry seltzer. I can't believe we haven't drank it before. It's somehow smooth and is super refreshing. You care. You should care. These drinks are important. Who cares about your diet. You look great. Keep drinking seltzer.

Website
http://www.polandspring.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 7th, 2018
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Hydro One True Green Tea

Hydro One True Green Tea

Lot's of science in this bottle. Not a lot of ingredients but the ingredients in there are very much one of two things:
1: Scientific names for simple ingredients.
2: Scientific ingredients.

Either way let me put into terms that idiots like you and myself can understand:
This is lightly sweetened green tea. It's ultra-slightly bitter like a green tea should be and some of that bitterness is from the Reb A/Stevia alternative sweetener. It has zero calories and doesn't taste like something your divorced aunt would give you the two times a month you visit her disgusting apartment.

There are a whole lot of empty promises about how this will help you lose weight but it's all based off the promise that you will continuously buy this drink in hopes that you lower your calorie count. While it's not a false claim, this drink doesn't do anything but quench your thirst. It tastes good. I would drink it again but I wouldn't hold it to any sort of standards or promises. That would be ignorant of me. I'm stupid, not ignorant.

Website
http://https://hydroonebeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Rebaudioside
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 3rd, 2018
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Matcha Love Unsweetened Japanese Matcha + Vanilla

Matcha Love Unsweetened Japanese Matcha + Vanilla

This is not what I expected. It's less bitter and bold than other matcha I have drink/drank/drunk. You don't get a lot of really anything. It tastes like "tea" and a watered down tea at that. It tastes like a green tea but it's only slightly bitter. I don't know about this, man. It's like they only had a little bit of mix and had to make a lot of drinks and they had to stretch it out. "Hey kids, I've got one pack of single serve Kool-Aid and there are four of us so we have to make due, alright?" While I don't mind, and have been known to water down my own drinks, this seems like a wasted attempt. Also, wut vanilla? It's not bad but it's also not much of anything and certainly nothing to write home about. Do we have to change that phrase? Are enough people writing home that we need to keep it? The alternative, which is unfortunate is something abysmal like, "This drink is nothing to text your daddy about." Begrudging and shuttering.

Website
http://www.itoen.com/matcha_love
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 27th, 2018
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Polar Seltzer Pineapple Pomelo

Polar Seltzer Pineapple Pomelo

I think there should be an APB on the scientists over at Polar. How can one company come up with so many different flavors in such a short period of time? Surely there are unsafe work conditions and inhumane amount of hours. Flavors come out and, look; I've got my ear to the ground when it comes to new drinks, especially Polar. I can't keep up.

Pineapple pomelo. It was good. I say "was" because, much like the Hall and Oates song, she's gone. It wasn't the best. The pineapple was good and I might suggest that they have left it there. The pomelo didn't taste like much. It didn't add a whole lot of flavor. Side-by-side I might have been able to tell a different. It was not bad and I would get it again because of my love of pineapple, maybe just to pay more attention to where the pomelo lies in the mix.

This is good. Keep your jobs, wildly overworked flavor scientists.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 12th, 2018
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Coca-Cola Fiesty Cherry Diet

Coca-Cola Fiesty Cherry Diet

I'm a sucker for spice. Blame it on my Western New York upbringing. I've lost that part of me where I masochistically eat things that will burn my face off in exchange for flavor enhancement. Sue me. This tastes like a diet cherry Coke with (somehow) less "diet" taste and rewards you with a little bit of burn. I could be wrong but I burped while drinking this and it had a pretty distinct ginger beer burp flavor. I liked it. I drank the whole can. I rarely drink cola let alone diet cola but this is actually something I would revisit. I was told again and again to drink it cold. One would think that something was going to come out of the can, like a heat activated cola demon, if I let it get lukewarm. Little does he know that we Thirsty Dudes drinking warm pop all the time. There's not enough room in fridges nationwide to house the amount of drinks that we've had at one time in our heyday. Now, unfortunately, sadly, apathetically, Jay and I could probably contain our back stock in a college dorm room fridge and still have room for a cool, crisp can of Milwaukee's Best that we would never drink but you know goddamn well that Chad would drink it in a heartbeat. Chad. You're the worst. Don't even get me started on Chad. Chad sucks. We'll leave it at that.

Website
http://www.coca-cola.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Aspartame
Categories
Diet, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 11th, 2018
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Blume Honey Water Vanilla Citrus

Blume Honey Water Vanilla Citrus

Well it certainly is nice to try something new again. This was great. I'll come right out of the gate, swinging my fists like a complete idiot; ready to fight no one and everyone at the same time. Honey rules. I put it in my coffee at home. I put it on ice cream. I add it to other stuff that you mind your G.D. business about, that's what! This is sweet. It's a different sweet than "1,000,000 sugar" sweet. It just tastes like honey which tastes sweet. It's a bit of a mental thing. As far as the "citrus vanilla" goes., yeah, that's there lighter in the mix. It's certainly a honey base but it does have notes of citrus and vanilla. I don't know how they do it. It's not thick at all. It's "like water" but tastes like honey. A drinkable honey for those of you cosplayers who go to Winnie The Pooh conventions but don't want to get your $1900 costume all sticky before the inevitably sex party afterwards aptly named "The Piglet Roast."

As sweet as this is, the whole (tiny) bottle is only 70 calories. This was generously sent to us but if I saw it in the wild, I would buy it. It's nice. A+. Quick shipping. Would buy from again.

Website
http://https://www.blumehoneywater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Honey
Categories
Juice, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 7th, 2018
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Cafe Bustelo Cafe Con Chocolate

Cafe Bustelo Cafe Con Chocolate

I've been reviewing a lot of coffee drinks lately. I haven't been reviewing much, truth be told, but I've been reviewing a lot of coffee drinks. I don't know why. Probably because I feel like all I do is work, come home, watch my dumb kids and then after they are in bed, just watch YouTube and go to sleep. It's been a repetitive couple weeks and trust me, I'm as bored of it as you are reading about it.

So how is this, you ask? Well, it's fine. It's got a decent but not great coffee taste. I'm no connoisseur but the coffee might be a bit dark or perhaps a little burnt for my liking. The chocolate is fine but it's strong. It might also be a little too sweet. I don't know if anyone who likes coffee would actually like this. I'm right in the middle so I'm fine with it but it's either "too this" or "too that" for anyone who has a solid opinion one way or the other.

I've got to get out of this rut...this coffee isn't helping. I think the next step is going to be a Buick, starched collar and a start to that suicide note I never thought I'd write.

Website
http://cafebustelo.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 27th, 2018
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Peet's Coffee Cold Brew Dark Chocolate

Peet's Coffee Cold Brew Dark Chocolate

My parent's, specifically my mom, never goes anywhere. Heck, she probably goes weeks at a time without leaving the county. So when we were in Phoenix for my brother's wedding a while back, she tried like crazy to get Peet's Coffee. You can't get it here. I assume it's like Western New York's local favorite franchise Tim Horton's. My uncle or someone said that it was great so she tried to find it while she was wildly out of her comfort zone. I bet I could count on one hand the amount of times my mom has been on an airplane.

I found this bottle of Peet's at a Target. Right around the corner from home and nowhere near Arizona or wherever Peet's is local to. I saw "dark chocolate" and "cold brew," audibly said, "Yup!" and headed for the checkout. I tried it today and it is awesome. It's also hardly coffee. It's just chocolate milk for adults. It's more coffee flavored chocolate milk than vice versa. It did have a great coffee taste and the dark chocolate was very good, too but let's call a spade a spade here, dude. This is not exactly a refined person's coffee. It's at least 50% chocolate milk. It's very good. It's very but not too sweet. I would absolutely get it again but certainly not when I needed some pep in my step. Just for when I want coffee and chocolate simultaneously.

My mom couldn't even drink this. I gave her Dunkin' Donuts' new brown sugar cold brew and she made quite the face at me. This would do something unimaginable to her. I think she likes her coffee like she likes her men.

Website
http://www.peets.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 11th, 2018
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Ocean Spray Pact Cranberry Blood Orange

Ocean Spray Pact Cranberry Blood Orange

Question: Is it infused if it takes the color and flavor of the fruit? It seems like it's just a juice at that point.

Story: This is good. I saw it at an Aldi and left the line I was in while the people in front of me argued about bringing bags and the people behind me screamed at someone on the phone about how they're going to beat the hell of them when they see them. I'm painting a picture of what it's like to Aldi by me. Yes, it's a verb. I could not get out of there fast enough. It's not always like that but when it rains it pours.

Review: This is good. I'm at work after a long weekend just drinking some fruity juice water. It's good. Best of all, you can't really tell that it's fake sugar. I believe previously that you could. Perhaps they improved the recipe. From a drink standpoint it's good. I certainly get more cranberry than blood orange or even citrus at all. Did that make it lose points? Nope. It was still good. I would get it again. For the eleventh time, though, this is juice. Give Vitamin Water to a child and have a discussion about whether or not it's water or juice. Hint makes water with fruit essence in it. This is not that.

Website
http://www.oceanspray.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Juice, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 12th, 2018
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