Mike Literman (1702 reviews)

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

La Croix Passion Fruit

La Croix Passion Fruit

I just got married a month ago (pause for applause) and ate passion fruit for the first time. What a magical experience. What a strange, goopy fruit. It's so weird. I mean, I ate a ton of it but I don't think in a million years I could get my son to eat it. So slimy. It's like all slime and seeds. Strange that anyone would eat it to begin with but they do and it's wonderful.

This drink, sans goop, tastes just like it. I was surprised. La Croix does the flavor justice. I feel like that one is hard to nail. They might use real fruit juice or whatever "essence" is but whatever science they're doing in there, they've pulled in the right people.

Website
http://www.lacroixwater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 8th, 2016
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Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Cinnamon Bun

Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Cinnamon Bun

What did I expect? This is just as bad as I thought it would be. It tastes like cheap, powdered cinnamon and fake sweetener. Whether or not it's authentic sugar, who cares? The best sugar couldn't save this drink. I don't think I finished the whole thing and I was tired and I got a small. It was a little coffee flavored but the syrup, my main complaint with Tim's is too thick and strange and throws off the viscosity of the rest of the drink. I want a cinnamon bun writing this and, like I said, I didn't expect much and I was still let down. Shame. Shame.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 8th, 2016
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Trader Joe's Black Tea Vanilla & Cinnamon

Trader Joe's Black Tea Vanilla & Cinnamon

What is that, a raccoon? Hyper, those raccoons. Them washing all that cotton candy in the stream. Calm down, raccoon. Man. Stop eating all that sugar and drink some of this tea. It's good, subtle and calming. Like chamomile but less on-the-nose. This dude who works here has been sweet enough to let me drink some of his tea and drink it I did. Sure, he's not breaking the bank buying a box of tea from Trader Joe's but who's bringing money into this? No one. He's generous. Let him be.

That raccoon had the right idea with this. Sure he's tangled up in Christmas lights probably doing something he shouldn't be doing but he's at least chilling with a nice, hot cup of tea. The cinnamon is subtle and the vanilla rounds it out. Think of this like the biggest dandelion. You could lift it without even thinking about it. This is like that, as strong as it is, it's still calm and smooth.

Also, for those of you not "in the know," this is the video I am referring to:


Sad, right?

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Hot Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 29th, 2016
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La Croix Cúrate Melón Pomelo (Cantloupe Pink Grapefruit)

La Croix Cúrate Melón Pomelo (Cantloupe Pink Grapefruit)

What a nice man, Craig is. He always holds the door for people, even if they're half a parking lot away. He's thoughtful. He cares. He's a caring, thoughtful man. Everyone loves Craig. One time he went to a kid’s school and they didn't like him. Why? He brought in a case of melon grapefruit sparkling water. Problem is that kids do not love grapefruit. Every kid there was either crying because it was too "spicy" or they didn't like the taste of grapefruit. Craig meant well. Melon. Kids love melon. So it had grapefruit in it. It didn't have the bitterness of grapefruit, just the flavor. It's sparkling water. What did the kids expect? The kids didn't like Craig and now, Craig didn't like kids. The streak of Craig being nice to everyone had ended all because of a couple snot nosed brats. Great job, kids. You broke Craig.

Website
http://www.lacroixwater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 21st, 2016
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La Croix Sparkling Water Mango

La Croix Sparkling Water Mango

Sparkling mango water. My wife might have just found her mecca. She loves La Croix and rightfully so. I mean, it's just sparkling water but it's good stuff. Polar is more than readily available and we buy a fair amount of that. They have some cooler, experimental flavors but she's been hard into this lately.

This is an accurate mango flavor, too. They really nailed it. I'd like to know what sorcery they used to do that. Are sorcery and magic the same thing? Sorcery might involve more potions. I wouldn't say that a witch performs magic. Stirring cauldrons is sorcery. Wizards perform sorcery. Is magic just another word for "illusions?"



The end.

Website
http://www.lacroixwater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 14th, 2016
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Apple Rush Sparkling Pomegranate

Apple Rush Sparkling Pomegranate

Back from a long time off on a thing called a "honeymoon" but I'm back and what do I start off with? A sparkling pomegranate joint. It's good, too. I didn't get a lot of apple but the pomegranate was nice and honest and sparkly. It wasn't too sweet and, according to the promises of the company, all that is in this lil' bottle is sweetening this is the fruit juice itself. There are some natural colors from fruit and vegetable and some preservatives but it's good. I would give this to a child. I think that's pretty telling. Sure, I gave my 9 month old half a sugar cookie which he promptly dropped half on the sidewalk and some mini marshmallows yesterday but he was being good and good kids deserve little treats. I might not be the world's best dad but my kids would like me because I gave them sweet treats.

Website
http://www.applerush.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 18th, 2016
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Pure Leaf Tea House Collection Black Tea with a hint of Wild Blackberry & Sage

Pure Leaf Tea House Collection Black Tea with a hint of Wild Blackberry & Sage

You know what happens when you use good ingredients? You get a great tea at any temperature. Temperature?! Why are you mentioning temperature? Well it's because I didn't finish this yesterday and came back today to polish it off and review it. It was better today than it was yesterday. This uses real sugar and not corn syrup so after fourteen hours, it was not a syrupy mess. When it was cold, the temperature kind of made things different than today when it's neat I could taste the blackberry and the hint of sage. It was very nice, too. It was fruity and you could tell there was something. Not specifically sage but "something" herbal.

I think I'm going to have to befriend a bodega employee to sell me back stock so that it's warm. I think I'm going to have to befriend a bodega employee so that I can go hang out at bodegas. My dad used to own a Convenient store but I was too young to work there. Alas.

Website
http://theloveofleaves.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 30th, 2016
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Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Vanilla

Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Vanilla

This tastes like a candle and also tastes like it sucks. No stars. Wait...I can't do no stars? This website sucks almost as much as this drink. I said, "Could I have an iced coffee with vanilla, please?" and I think they misheard "vanilla" and thought I said candle wax. Three sips. There goes $2.16. Cripes. Grozz. Ugh. These are the sounds that I am audibly saying at work aloud as people try to work. "Try to work" is code for "fantasy football" so it sounds like everyone has a hearing impediment today.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 26th, 2016
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Ginger People Bottoms Up Ginger Beer

Ginger People Bottoms Up Ginger Beer

My brother finds drinks sometimes and thinks he's going to be mean and buy me stuff he thinks might be gross. This isn't the gross one but is part of the group that he bought me. This one was actually really nice. It was sweet and really spicy, the way that ginger beer should be. It most certainly still had its feet in ginger ale territory but was dabbling in the ginger beer world. The spice was nice and it burns in all the right places. The fact that it was unfiltered means that it was laden with stuff at the bottom and you know how the Thirsty Dudes love stuff in their drinks. A+. Would drink again.

Website
http://www.gingerpeople.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Ginger, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 26th, 2016
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Stok Cold Brew Iced Coffee Black

Stok Cold Brew Iced Coffee Black

Oh how I wish I had one of these now. No, not a 48 ounce bottle as that would be suicidal but the smaller, equally available 10 ounce bottle. Long nights, friends. Long nights. I know it would make me sick and dizzy but anything over this underslept feeling, which is garbage. I took a shot or two of this over the weekend, you know, just to get by, and it was nice. It was smooth, and although advertised as "not too sweet" it was definitely sweetened and possibly more than many people would like.

I don't have a preference as far as coffee goes, as you may well know, but sweet and usually with some sort of syrup is preferable. This met the criteria just fine. Lucky for me, there is a 48 ounce bottle with two shots missing at home waiting, for a girl like me (to come into my life).

Website
http://stokcoffee.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 26th, 2016
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