Mike Literman (1766 reviews)

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

Activate Workout Lime

Activate Workout Lime

All week I've been gardening. I filled two giant city garbage totes with scraps of ugly rose bush shrapnel, weeds, old perennials that never really came to fruition, and rocks that someone who lived in my house before me thought was a compliment and not just annoying. Have you ever tried to take one thousand small rocks out of dirt? It blows. Today I finished weeding my whole backyard; weed treated and then laid down a layer of weed blocker. My soil is shot and it needed to be tilled like you wouldn't believe. Not to mention that it hasn't rained in a week, which I'm not complaining because I'm living the wettest summer that this city has ever seen. I don't mean that dramatically, I mean that almanatically. I planted peppers, strawberries, brussel sprouts, and as you can see in the picture, a little jelly bean plant. I saw this guy and had to buy it. I don't have the greenest thumb, but with a succulent, you have a bit of give.

So with all of this going on, and me not having a servant that would bring me a cool glass of water, I decided to go through my stock and grab something that would be both quenching and have a purpose. I picked this Activate drink up not too long ago and it was the perfect drink for the day.

Yes, its intended purpose is for workout, but seriously go to a Curves and look around. Would you say that me hand tilling, digging, planting, lifting buckets of dirt, and just general yard work is more or less than putting the treadmill on "turtle" and watching "The View"? More, right? So I don't need to necessarily "workout" to drink this now, do it?

I liked it a lot. It was a good, genuine lime flavor. The Stevia did a great job of letting that shine through. It really was nothing more than a sweetened lime flavored water. It was a bit "from powder" or "from concentrate" but I'm not holding that against them because it was. I saw it. I made it. I liked it.

Website
http://www.activatedrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Stevia
Categories
Diet, Mix/Concentrate, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 12th, 2011
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Activate Drinks Energy Workout Lime, 16-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Activate Workout Grape

Activate Workout Grape

I know that after a while this would get old, but I wish everything had the ability to mix in your own flavors like this. I guess it would be hard to do things that involved syrup and stuff so let's say all drinks that can be separated by water and drink mix should do this. What's more fun that making your own drink by twisting a cap? Well...a lot but you get me, right? It's the little things in life.

This drink, price aside, renders grape Kool-Aid obsolete. It tastes like a wonderfully blended, perfectly mixed grape Kool-Aid with a little Stevia taste but the flavor is the same. I assume that you could ask any near-toothless eight year old boy if this is Kool-Aid and he would say that it was. What a dumb kid. You know what it is but he doesn't. What a dumb little boy. He doesn't know anything about the disaster area that is the inevitable life ahead of him. If he only knew what the next ten years of homework and school and girls and Top 40 radio held for him. You can't tell him all that in one go, though, because that would destroy him. It would turn him into the cynical jerk that you have become from your years of desensitization and chronic disappointment.

This tastes like grape Kool-Aid but it's atrocious for you. You and eight year old kids agree so it has to be true.

Website
http://www.activatedrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Stevia Rebaudiana Leaf Extract
Categories
Diet, Mix/Concentrate, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 13th, 2012
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Activate Workout Grape 12 bottles

Adina Holistics Herbal Elixir Grapefruit Goji

Adina Holistics Herbal Elixir Grapefruit Goji

I'm not the biggest fan of grapefruit. Why? I don't know. I just don't like it too much. This was not too much like grapefruit, though. It was more light, an ultra-light lemonade. It's not terribly sweet, but has a nice, lemonade tang/zip to it. It doesn't linger too long, which is nice because it's more refreshing that way.

If you love lemonade and want something a little (emphasis on "a little") different, give this a try. You won't be disappointed.

Website
http://www.adinaworld.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 14th, 2010
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Adina Holistics Herbal Elixir, Cranberry Grapefruit with Goji, 14-Ounce (Pack of 12)

Adirondack White Chocolate

Adirondack White Chocolate

Who really likes white chocolate and if you were the crazy person who does, would you choose that over regular chocolate? Would you rather have some sort of dumb, super sweet chocolate or some fantastic, handcrafted dark chocolate? What is white chocolate anyhow? Vanilla? Sorry to be the one to tell you, but vanilla already exists. You lost the race.

This, though, whatever it is...she's good. I polished off all one liter of it in one sitting and if it was larger, it would be inside of me. It's got a good taste and yes I did wish it were milk or dark chocolate the entire time. What flavor is it? Honestly, I don't know what white chocolate tastes like. I've had it but it's just kind of it's own dumb flavor. We don't need it. This we could do with. It's got whatever chocolate has but filled with seltzer. I like it. I don't like white chocolate. I'm torn.

Website
http://www.adirondackbeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 7th, 2013
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Admiral Iced Tea Green Tea with Ginseng and Honey

Admiral Iced Tea Green Tea with Ginseng and Honey

After the saddest strip club these eyes have ever seen, we decided to try our luck in Ybor City, a delightful little place that I wish we had gone instead of Channelside. Look, no offense to the people of Channelside, but that is a place for tourists and dummies. Thanks for putting everything into a neat little "Off Ramp" style plaza, but I like a bit of dirt and grime with my travels.

We walked half a dozen of the most David Caruso friendly, murder-welcoming blocks, literally over onto the "Good Side" of actual railroad tracks, to Ybor city. I'm on a quest for drinks and the dudes I was with wanted dranks. There is a difference. I saw a convenience store that looked like it would have some gems in it so my sights were locked in. After a few attempts to go into bars failed, I got my chance. We had people waiting outside so I had to make it quick. I grabbed this ice tea, which we haven’t reviewed, and skipped some other things that I could have grabbed but I knew our luggage was packed tight and I didn't want to risk not being able to bring it aboard the boat. Cut to this morning.

After a good, Continental breakfast with fantastic home fries, I wanted to give it a whirl. I was reluctant due to it being a tallboy of hackneyed green tea, but there is something else in this can. I can't put my finger on it. I want to say Mason. No! Floral. I don't know exactly what it is but it sets itself apart from the seemingly endless array of "green tea with ginseng and honeys out there. Taste, though... Eh. No green tea bite, no honey flavor. I mean, it's good, but that mystery taste is overwhelming and takes away from the intended flavors of the tea.

In twenty minutes I will board a shuttle to the docks and embark on my travels. I hope we don't have rough seas because between the mediocre-at-best food and a wavy ship, I might just throw up inside of a water slide.

Website
Http://www.admiralbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 30th, 2012
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Admiral Iced Tea Southern Style Sweet Tea

Admiral Iced Tea Southern Style Sweet Tea

I don't mean to bring up old stuff, but the South lost again. The battle of sweet tea is a battle filled with casualties and here is yet another poor soul that just can't make the cut.

Is it too much to ask that the simplest concoction ever created be made right? Black tea and sugar. Done. If you need to put preservatives in there in increase shelf life, I'm cool with that. Once you start mixing all sorts of other garbage in there it starts to go downhill. Corn syrup will never be an ingredient in a good quality sweet tea. This drink tastes like if you ordered a tea at a restaurant, didn't know that it was unsweetened, and then poured miscellaneous sugar packets into it. One of the final ingredients in this is sucralose and you would think that you would not be able to tell but you can. You know that strange aftertaste? That's the sucralose, detective.

Arizona and Admiral. You know better than that. Why let me, a self-described stupid idiot, teach you how to make a drink? You are drink companies and should know the lay of the land. I'll give you this one for free.

Website
Http://www.admiralbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 4th, 2012
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Hansen Beverage Company Admiral, Sweet Tea, 24-Ounce (Pack of 24)

Admiral Iced Tea Lemon

Admiral Iced Tea Lemon

We're having a real problem with the drinking water here, Admiral. I don't know if we're refilling the drums with clean water and I'm afraid that we're filling it with water from the sea. Why do I ask? Well look at this cup. Number one issue I see is that it's slightly brown. Number two issue is that there are tiny rocks in it. I thought we addressed this issue last season when those dudes got sick from drinking water from a dirty stream. Sorry, I didn't mean "dudes," sir, I meant "men." So we're here drinking this fishy water and I see that you've always got a can of something. We are all in this together with everything and I don't think that drinking water should be an exception.

What is in that can that we can't have that you can have? Admiral iced tea? With lemon?! You're smuggling in a constant stream of cans of iced tea with the money we're making from shrimping? That money is supposed to go to pay the men at the end of the season and you're buying cans of this tea when we go to land. Pallets of what? You're buying pallets of this stuff? With all due respect, sir, we're eating mashed potatoes and drinking fish water for days and you've got canned iced tea. That hardly seems fair. And steaks?! Sir. I'm afraid that this may be my last season on the ship. Office Depot is hiring. My cousin is the assistant manager and he said he could get me in the ink refilling department.

I would actually like a can, if you are offering. You know what, sir? This isn't too bad. It's lightly lemon and black tea. It doesn't taste terribly natural like something mama would make but it's not too bad. I don't think that I will buy it when we get to land, but it's light years better than the salty seawater we're drinking.

Admiral, we have been together for almost a decade and I respect you, but as I said, Office Depot is offering me a position in the fairly stagnant position of ink filler and I will probably be taking it at the end of this shrimp season. Thank you for the last ten years of your time and it has been an honor to work next to you. What's the difference between "letter" and "A4" paper? I'm going to have to study up.

Website
Http://www.admiralbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 27th, 2012
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AGA Coctail

AGA Coctail

There are bananas on the front of this bottle. I don't like bananas. After calming down and not being a wuss and reading the ingredients, bananas make up only 1% of this juice. I felt a sigh of relieve as I took a sip. No banana! Lots of other stuff, though. It was true nectar, thick, smooth and gritty. It's strange to feel little grits and bits of fruit in there but that's how you know it's real. Once again, according to the percentage makeup of the fruit contents, there is 25% guava, 5% strawberry, and 1 sole percent of banana. The flavor was good and went in between the guava and strawberry, a nice 50/50 blend.

I liked it. A lot of times, single fruit nectar gets too fruity and boring after a while. Who needs ~12oz of just guava? Mix it up, and then cut it in half so you don't have a fruit overload. This little bottle is only 8.5oz and 65 calories so you can drink the whole thing and still feel good about yourself.

Website
http://www.aga.com.eg/en/index.asp
Country
Egypt
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 30th, 2010
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AGA Juice Mango

AGA Juice Mango

You know when your watching the Food Network and they make everything look easy? For instance, you know how they cut mangoes? They cut them in half, do some fancy pants knife work, turn the mango inside out and there you have it. A gorgeous, squared mango ready to do whatever you want. So, do that. I'll wait...

Now that your mango looks a fraction as awesome as Ellie Kreuger's, you're ready to go. Now smoosh up your carefully carved mango through a strainer. Do it one more time to get most of the chunks and pulp out and you've got this drink.

It's not bad at all and anyone who likes mangoes a little bit should enjoy this drink and although it's technically nectar, there isn't a lot of pulp and/or seeds. Some people, including myself, enjoy a lot of pulp, but you have to take a break every once in a while.

I picked this up at a local Halal market. This place was nothing to write home about and the service staff didn't say a single word the entire time Jay and myself were in there. This was good though and it comes with a stamp of approval from me.

Website
http://www.aga.com.eg/en/index.asp
Country
Egypt
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 12th, 2011
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Agua Enerviva Lo Cal Natural Energy Mate Lemonade + Guarana

Agua Enerviva Lo Cal Natural Energy Mate Lemonade + Guarana

Sadly this is a pretty big bottle of mediocrity. I thought that mate lemonade would be pretty interesting but instead, I was served some sort of light juice that doesn't really taste much like lemonade or mate. Odd how that happened. It actually tastes a bit diet, but not too much. I'm just kind of milling over the taste but from what was advertised to what was delivered, they are worlds apart. This drink was fruity but light almost like if you had some guarana Vitamin Water.

I didn't know what it would taste like as mate is inherently pretty bitter and lemonade is sour or tart. Together I thought that it would have given my tongue a run for it's money, a phrase that my tongue doesn't understand because it doesn't work and as many times as I've tried to become a famed voice-over actor, it decided to work by spouting off negativity, sarcasm, and unfortunately misdirected wit.

I might have the energy to complete my day due to the caffeine in both mate and guarana, but I didn't particularly enjoy the path to get there.

Website
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Agua-Enerviva/295882930443237
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink, Lemonade, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 22nd, 2012
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