Mike Literman (1706 reviews)

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

Ginger Shots Orange Ginger

Ginger Shots Orange Ginger

Carl, why did you give me this fire in a bottle? What did I. What did I. What did I do to deserve this? It's like drinking citrus flavored lava. I don't know if there was orange but it was citrus. If I had a straight ginger and drank this side by side I might be able to confirm that it's orange flavored but the burn is just so intense that the flavor is lost. It's not bad at all, though. I appreciate your gratuity in burning off my taste buds but I still don't know why people drink this. Is it energizing? Is it good for my insides? Why did I just subject myself to this self-torture? Fun? Carl. Carl. Baby. Don't do that to me. I've had a long day. You know what? I do like it. Would I drink it again? We'll see if I'm given the opportunity but as much as I'd like to give your tongue an Indian burn, which might be racist at this point, I appreciate you giving this bottled up ending scene from Terminator 2.

Website
http://gingershots.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Ginger, Shot
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 17th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now

Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Lemon Wedge

Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Lemon Wedge

Sparkles with a lil' bit of citrus. That's it and that's all, friends. This is the simplest seltzer that money can buy. It's got a strong lemon flavor and tastes like seltzer. You can call me an idiot for that review if you aren't doing that already but it's true. It's good in its simplicity and that will win the race if you ask me. They've got more ambitious flavors so this is the gateway drug, if you will, to more dynamic and interesting flavors. Start with the lemon wedge, go to the watermelon and end with the cilantro lime. It's a trip worth taking.

Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 15th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Buy at SpecialtySodas.com

7 Eleven Go! Smart Honeybush Tea

7 Eleven Go! Smart Honeybush Tea

On a hot day, you should be drinking water. We in Western New York have been suffering drought-like conditions. It rains for a half hour and doesn't rain for two weeks. It's bad. Combined with 85+ degree days day after day, it's getting pretty tiring to go outside. On this hot day and on my way to band practice, I needed something. I drink water at my desk all day but I needed something and this hit the spot. I wish it was twice as large but you can't get everything you want.

It was very lightly sweetened and flavored. It was just a nice, cool lemon honey tea that was instantly refreshing. I wish I had one here. Two. One went down too quickly. It was low in calories, too. I think seventy for the bottle which was quite a bit healthier than the tallboy of Arizona that I wanted to feel nostalgic. I can feel nostalgic another time because now I've got a nice "go to" when I go to 7 Eleven which is rare regardless of their omnipresence.

Website
http://www.7-eleven.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 4th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Golden Brew Apple Cider Vinegar Tonic Lemon Ginger Turmeric

Golden Brew Apple Cider Vinegar Tonic Lemon Ginger Turmeric

I was worried about this. Vinegar? As a drink? That's a strange one, right? Who drinks vinegar? I do, apparently. How is this vinegar, though? It's good. The turmeric and lemon and ginger are a great trio. Good burn and the vinegar is there but mild. I was worried that it would be like drinking straight vinegar or better/worse fruit flavored pickle juice. It was not. You could taste a little lemon but the turmeric and ginger was prominent and a flavorful team.

I think I have another one of these in the basement, where vinegar/pickling belongs. I no longer worry about what they will taste like and welcome with open, pickle loving arms, vinegar drinks. I say that now until I buy something like a Bragg's and it's going blow the lid off my mouth like that one time I thought it would be a good idea to take a shot of chicken marinade not knowing it was mostly vinegar and my eyes watered up like that time that I saw Homeward Bound for the first time.

Website
http://www.goldenbrewtea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Agave Nectar
Categories
Iced Tea, Other/Weird
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 28th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Ginger Shots Kiwi Ginger

Ginger Shots Kiwi Ginger

Holy burn.

I don't know who or what this is for but man this is hot. This is like, "this is going to hurt later" type hot. This is the hot that you are worried about when you eat Buffalo [slash] hot wings and then feel that "thing" in your stomach. I think ginger is supposed to make your stomach feel better so that might not happen. There is kiwi but it's so low in the mix that you can hardly tell it's there. Like a girl that dresses up for a party that like a thousand other people go to that it's just so congested she's wildly underappreciated. It's a little fruity, don't get me wrong, but I can't really tell that it was specifically kiwi.

You know what it is, though? Hot as balls, man. If this was a review for an eBay purchase, I would say "A+. Would drink again."

Website
http://gingershots.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Energy Drink, Ginger, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 21st, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now

Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Black Raspberry

Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Black Raspberry

Ahh black raspberry. The most "goth" of all the fruits. No. That's not true. Blood orange could probably win in a quiz show involving nothing but questions about Jesus and Mary Chain and Bauhaus. I guess runner up would be black raspberry followed by black cherry. Cherry is too close to "cheery" which is not the epitome of goth.

This tastes light and bubbly. We won't tell anyone about that, though. It's nice. From drinking giant bottles of Polar seltzer all the time to a nice, smaller glass of this, it's refreshing to be able to have a different flavor. It smells nice and fruity and is just a good, simple drink. Both of the Cocteau Twins would be happy to drink this and unhappy about everything else.

Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 19th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Buy at SpecialtySodas.com

Polar Mango Berry

Polar Mango Berry

Do I love mango? No. Not really. Will I say this might be the most accurate interpretation of mango? Yep. I don't know what it is about mango but whatever it is, it has been so poignantly captured within this bottle that if you like mango, you can just buy a couple bottles of this and save yourself the trouble of shaving, cutting, cubing or whatever it is you do with a mango.

I don't get a lot of berry in here but you get so much mango that you have no reason to wonder why her name came first. I didn't want to appear sexist so I made mango a "her." You like that? I'm not a misogynistic turd. Mangos can do whatever they want. If they want to make fruit love in this bottle than so be it. That makes it more disgusting for me to drink. I wish I hadn't said that. Even if it is fake.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 12th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Karma Wellness Water Probiotics Blueberry Lemonade

Karma Wellness Water Probiotics Blueberry Lemonade

Blueberry lemonade. I've got to say, it's good. I like mixing it. I like shakin' it up. I like(d) drinkin' it up. That's all that you need from me? Wait wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut? You want a review? People still come to this site expecting reviews? I tell stories, man. Yesterday was the fourth of July and like ten people made a whirlpool in my cousin’s pool. It was awesome. Is that what you want? I've got plenty of these. I've got plenty but I guess you don't want that. You want me to say things like, "This isn't gross. This actually tastes like blueberry lemonade. I've never had blueberry lemonade and I think it would be sourer but taste similar. It kind of tastes like if they made a blueberry lemonade Gatorade. Three thumbs up. Would drink again."

I thought you wanted more from me. I'm more than a great product reviewer. I've got skills and traits you don't even know about. We're growing apart. I think we need to see other people and I'm going to start with that chick with the cool boobs over there.

Website
http://www.drinkkarma.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Lemonade, Mix/Concentrate
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 5th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now

Mountain Dew Kickstart Blueberry Pomegranate

Mountain Dew Kickstart Blueberry Pomegranate

I'm beat, dude. Worked until 2, home at 2:30, asleep by quarter to 3, up at 6:30. I need a pick-me-up. I've been disappointed by Dunkin' Donuts inability to make a consistent drink. So what do I choose? I guess this Mountain Dew Kickstart from a bodega I rarely go to but needed to take a walk outside.

How is it? It's fine. I don't know to what caliber this is of a juice and an energy drink but it's got caffeine in it so I guess it will eventually do something. It's not bad. It's pretty sweet and very fruity but I think it tastes better than your run-of-the-mill energy drink. I don't know if I specifically taste blueberry or pomegranate but I'm not complaining. With a drink like this, I don't hold them to their word like I would a "real" juice. Sorry. I'm not trying to be offensive. It's like it's a sparkling juice first and everything else just peeks their little heads in and out to say hello.

I don't know if it's "helping" because I'm fading fast but I've made it to 3:30 and wasn't late for work today. Somewhere there is an accomplishment but I'm too tired to see it. Maybe...if I just close my eyes...for just a second.....

Website
http://www.mountaindew.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink, Juice, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 29th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now

Orgain Organic Meal Creamy Chocolate Fudge

Orgain Organic Meal Creamy Chocolate Fudge

I have decided to make some changes and go on an liquid diet. Not the liquid diets that your fat secretary does when they say that they're going to drink the pain of still living at home at 47 away. The kind where you realize that your metabolism just isn't what it used to be. I'm going to do this for as long as I can and will update this review daily so let's get the review out of the way and leave the daily masochism to the people who love reading.

This is chocolate. I wouldn't really accept "fudge" as anything but an extra word that doesn't mean anything. Fudge is thick. This is watery. You mix it with water and it doesn't thicken up. Sure you can mix it with milk or almond milk if you're trying to be healthy, but when you mix with water, it doesn't thicken up. It's fine and I've now tried it iced with admittedly too much water and ice and with the minimum requested amount of water and it tastes the same; watered down chocolate milk. I'm reluctant to even say "chocolate milk" but "chocolate water" makes me want to barf so I didn't type it...until now. I don't foresee any problem drinking/eating only this for the next several days, though. I assume it will become expectant and boring but it is not bad. It doesn't taste "healthy" but it does have a bit of that "Erythritol" taste to it. I don't dislike that, as I have mentioned in my many previous, Erythritol ridden drinks.

Moving forward will be my experience with my first supplement only life. Wish me luck and enjoy my impending sorrow.
________________________________________

Timeline

Two-ish weeks or until the container is gone. Monday, June 20th to Friday, June 1.



Guidelines

Ingest only this. If I find myself needing food, I will allow raw almonds. Tons of water and unsweetened tea are the only other acceptable things. I have a show this Saturday which I might have to "break" but that's just so people don't think I'm crazy.



Logic

I am a thirty four year old male. I love food. I don't eat like an ignoramus but I don't eat smart a lot. I eat a lot of tacos, chicken, and hot dogs. I love a good meal. I like spending good money and getting a good meal in return. I go to nice restaurants and enjoy them and I go to bad restaurants and enjoy them. Food is food and I am aware of the context of the quality and accept all of it. I have gained weight slowly but surely over the years and need a control. I need discipline. I snack a lot. Not unhealthy stuff; almonds and maybe a dozen M&Ms per day, nothing that's going to welcome diabetes with open arms. I go to the gym rarely because I'm too tired from live, work and raising two kids. Anyone who has kids should never blame anyone for not going to the gym and anyone who doesn't have kids doesn't understand and should not have an opinion whatsoever. My fiancé tells me this is not a good idea and that "this isn't how you do it." I half agree but the other half needs a fixed, strict regimen or I will stray. "This and nothing else." is simple and there is no gray area.
________________________________________

Day 0

Today, Father's Day, is the last day I will eat food for a while. In typical Mike fashion, I did not eat terribly well. Breakfast burrito, two hot dogs, slice of pizza. Not all my eating is that bad and American, but today it was. Today I clocked in at 156.7. I am not happy about it but that's why we're doing this.
________________________________________

Day 1

Success. I didn't think it was going to be bad but towards the end of the day I felt a little spacey. I had band practice and that distracted me from being hungry. Breakfast to lunch was alright. Lunch to dinner was rough. I started getting headaches around four. I'm going to try to not eat lunch until later. I find it strange to not just grab something to eat when I'm hungry. It's clearly a habit and I'm realizing that quickly. I am also seeing food everywhere. In my house. In advertisements. I'm starting to think about restaurants I haven't been to in a long time. I didn't see that coming. I mixed a handful of different percentages. I did a full eight ounces and that was fine. I mixed like five ounces of water with a bunch of ice and that's much better. It takes me longer to drink and that helps.

I weighed in at 153.7. I doubt that I lost three pounds and there has to be some sort of other factor. I don't trust that.
________________________________________

Day 2

I'm getting irritable. Between personal issues, issues with my brat kid, issues with my car and the fact that I haven't eaten anything in two days I am getting sick of things quickly. I still find myself thinking out of nowhere things like, "I would love to go to Swiss Chalet." which is a normal occurrence but typically not in the middle of nowhere. I'm not exactly "weak" but I am tired. I fight hunger and fight the urge to "just eat an apple" but I'm holding off. I could eat an apple. These are my rules but I'm not. I'm still not sick of the drink and I'm getting a good blend down. I actually look forward to it because I know that my body needs food. It actually makes me happy to know that I can eat soon and don't mind that it's the same thing I've eaten for the past six meals. It's my sustenance and it's all I've got. I weighed in at 152.6.

________________________________________

Day 3

I was two hours late for dinner due to a busy life and nearly knocked everyone out. I was at my parent's house, filled with food and had to leave. Everything looks good. Everything tastes good. I'm questioning why I am doing this more every day. I love food. I want to eat. I'm hungry and I am coming to the realization that it's alright to be hungry. It't not OK to be starving but it's alright to be hungry. I don't need to instantly quench my hunger. I'm down to 150.8. That's six pounds. That's basically a child's bowling ball in three days. I can't tell where it's going or where it's coming from.

Website
http://www.drinkorgain.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Erytritol
Categories
Diet, Mix/Concentrate
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 20th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |