Mike Literman (1761 reviews)

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

Moneybag Root Beer

Moneybag Root Beer

Gene Simmons of Gene Simmons Toyota has released his own line, AKA signed the rights to his name, to a pop company. Is the pop any good? Is a Toyota Corolla purchased from Gene Simmons Toyota any good? Yeah, it's fine. It's root beer. Much like a Corolla, it's fine. It does what it's supposed to do and does it well. It isn't exceptional but it's reliable. I didn't know that the pop game was so large that just anyone could say, "Oh, I have the chance to make a million dollars so I'm going to stamp my reputable and honorable name on the line so people can drink my pop."

Would I drink this again. Yes. Was it good. Yes. Would I buy a car from him? Eh, why not. Some root beer is good and some root beer is great. This root beer was good but, like a Corolla, a good root beer is a dime a dozen.

Website
http://www.genesimmonsmoneybag.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 12th, 2018
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Coca-Cola Diet Zesty Blood Orange

Coca-Cola Diet Zesty Blood Orange

Sometimes you want a nice, dark cola. Most times, if I want cola, it's that. I used to drink diet cola. I think it was when my mom would only order us diet. You know, the 90's, when it was alright for kids to eat and drink anything at any time with no worries about disease or whatever. We played outside in the dirt where we belonged. Dirty dirt kids.

This is a nice alternative to those of you, like my manager(?) and mother-in-law who pretty exclusively drink diet Coke and might like a nice change but keep that same toxic diet flavor. This isn't terrible, alright. It's not. It's still most certainly diet. Unavoidably diet. The blood orange flavor is not super strong and certainly not strong enough to overcome that of the aspartame. It's more of like a "citrus diet Coke" than an explicit or definite flavor. I, for one, would not get it again but then again I am not the target demographic.

I bought another flavor of these that I am not not looking forward to drinking. Does that sell it at all? I regretfully drank this while regretfully doing my taxes. What a night. My mid-30's are garbage.

Website
http://www.coca-cola.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Aspartame
Categories
Diet, Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 12th, 2018
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7 Eleven Go! Yum Chocolate Mocha

7 Eleven Go! Yum Chocolate Mocha

Well this was a pleasant surprise. I dropped my son off at school and his teacher said, "Are you ready for the planetarium?" which reminded me that I didn't make him a lunch like a pile of crap dad. That being said, of the top three things that I dislike doing in life, making school lunch, a task that takes no longer than five minutes is one of them. Putting dishes away, another job that takes five minutes is also there if you're counting.

What does any good dad do when he didn't make his son a lunch? Go to the closest store and buy a turkey and cheese sub and some fruit and a juice. What does he do if he's a Thirsty Dude? Look around for drinks he hasn't reviewed wasting precious time that he doesn't have. That's what. I found this and thought that it might be alright and I've really been sleeping on making cold brew this week. I thought wrong. It's actually great. It's got a great cocoa taste and a great coffee taste. It's not too sweet and everything has their chance to shine. There is milk in it but it's neither milky nor chalky. This is the cold brew I wish I could make at home. This is fantastic.

Website
http://www.7-eleven.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 1st, 2018
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Pure Leaf Organic Black Tea Valencia Orange Peel

Pure Leaf Organic Black Tea Valencia Orange Peel

What a way to kick off a ten degree day; a nice little black tea with some citric citrus going on up in there. It's all very lightly sweetened and lightly flavored and comes together into a nice lil' package. The black tea is a light to medium brew and the Valencia just an "orangish" flavor. I'm no orange connoisseur so it's "just" orange to me. It unfortunately doesn't come in a gallon jug because I could sit here and drink it all day. Sure I got it across the street from where I work but it took me an hour to drink this. If I'm at work for eight hours and this cost me around $2.50, that's going to cost me a Jackson per day. There are better ways to spend your money.

Website
http://theloveofleaves.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 13th, 2017
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Cultivo Cold Brew Coffee

Cultivo Cold Brew Coffee

I was worried about this. I split it with a dude at work and warned him that this would be strong and wildly caffeinated. I was wrong. It's got me a little jittery, which is fine, but some of the other cold brew I have drank got me lit up. It also is not hard to drink. I have said many a time that I drink coffee like a child would, with chocolate syrup in it but for this review, I went straight. It was not bad at all. I spent an hour and a half in my car due to snow so it wasn't as cold as it could have been but not docking that, it was good. I would say that this being just a medium coffee with average caffeine makes it something I could easily and have easily made at home.

All that being said, a little carton of black cold brew is a nice thing to just be able to pick up and go.

Website
http://cultivo.coffee
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 8th, 2017
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Mountain Dew Holiday Brew

Mountain Dew Holiday Brew

The time is 9:03 AM. A half hour ago I drank Mountain Dew. If someone wants to drive me to an insane institution, I will happy enter myself into the system for a solid week. I could use it. This, friends, is a dumb product. It's Code Red with a "holiday blend." This tastes like a weaker Code Red. Maybe with more citrus. Nothing specifically "holiday" or "festive" about it, though. No cinnamon or nutmeg or bits of leaves or anything reminiscent of any sort of holiday flavors. What is the point of this? At least Pepsi Christmas or Holiday or Festive or whatever that is called has some sort of "holiday spice" to it. This is basically just Code Red "watered down" with 7-Up or something. Dumb. Way to go, America. You've been poisoned again by Mountain (Mitten) Dew.

Website
http://www.mountaindew.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 5th, 2017
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Cultivo Organic Cold Brew Coffee Chocolate Milk

Cultivo Organic Cold Brew Coffee Chocolate Milk

Yep. Here's another great one. When I drink coffee, it's cold and has chocolate in it. This checks all those boxes. It's pretty smooth because it's got half and half in there, too. I typically wouldn't put cream in my coffee but let me tell you this, if someone served this to me as-is while I was lying scantily clad on the lido deck of a cruise ship, I would say, thank you, and tip him an appropriate amount of money. I'm no monster. A tip is not a tip unless it meets the criteria of "enough." Having never worked in a tip-reliant industry unless you count playing in a band that is willing to but doesn't receive tips, I don't know what it's like to get a bad, good or great tip.

Here's a tip (segue) buy yourself some of this. It's smooth and still has a great coffee flavor even with the cream and chocolate. Be a little childish. You like coffee like you like your men? I don't know how to get out of this. I'm in a corner now. I'll stay here for a while. At least I have this coff...and it's gone.

Website
http://cultivo.coffee
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Certified Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 20th, 2017
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Zhivchic Pear

Zhivchic Pear

For a drink that expired six years ago from the Ukraine, this sexy pear drink wasn't too bad.

Website
http://zhivchik.ua/
Country
Ukraine
Sweetener
Couldn't Read Ingredients
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 17th, 2017
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Ski Cherry

Ski Cherry

It's been a while since I've had some Ski. This tastes almost like a cherry limeade but without the "fancy" title. It has a decent cherry taste and then there is the mystery "citrus" flavor that twists it a little bit. I let a dude at work try it and he liked it so by all means that means that it can't be that bad.

There is not much to say. Honestly it's just a cherry pop. I wish I could make up a whimsical story about a dog saving a bird from a shark but I don't have it in me.

Website
http://www.myskisoda.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 16th, 2017
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Buy at SpecialtySodas.com

Gold Peak Coffee Drink Almond Toffee

Gold Peak Coffee Drink Almond Toffee

Woah. Talk about a dense drink. Have you ever considered a drink to be "dense." I feel that "thick" is boring. "Rich" is also quite used if you ask me. This drink is dense. Heavy. Dude who I let try it perfectly described it as a "non-dairy creamer." It's as if you were a college kid who had one for a split second, like you found $20 on the street and decided to shoot for the stars and buy some fancy coffee creamer, got home, realized that you should have spent it on coffee and have nothing to drink but the creamer itself.

I did add this to some cold brew coffee and it was good. This claims that it was "cold brew" and although I cannot argue as I wasn't in the room as this was being made, it kind of defeats the point when you are sacrilegiously adding almond and toffee juice to it. That's also coming from someone who can only drink coffee cold and with some form of chocolate or mocha flavoring like an idiot child. This is fine if you were a child but if you were a child you wouldn't like it because it's coffee and kids don't like coffee so who is this for? This is for people that add twelve sugars to their coffees as barely functioning adults.

Website
http://www.goldpeaktea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 23rd, 2017
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