Mike Literman (1688 reviews)

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

Frisa Sparkling Botanical Beverage Black Current Rosehip

Frisa Sparkling Botanical Beverage Black Current Rosehip

Do you have anything to celebrate? Honestly, who cares? Celebrate this drink by drinking this drink because it's great. Open it up, blow some noisemakers, throw some confetti around, pull one of those things that pop and fill the air with strands of colorful paper and the smell of farts. It's time to celebrate this drink.

It doesn't taste like armpits or feet which, often, to me, black current tastes like. Rosehip I've had before but couldn't pick it out in a lineup. Basically, this tastes like a good, almost grape sparkling, non-alcoholic champagne. It's really good. I shared it with a handful of people and the only complaint is that it was really sweet and they couldn't do more than one glass of it. That's fine.

Website
http://www.frisabeverages.com/
Country
Spain
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 9th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Claire Baie Sparkling Water Blackberry Raspberry

Claire Baie Sparkling Water Blackberry Raspberry

Blackberry raspberry. Recipe for wonder, right? Eh, add fake/faux sugar to it and you'll be amazed at how quickly this drink is dropped pegs or rungs or steps or whatever form of dissension you so desire. It could have been good but then it wouldn't be diet. I think that's a lose/win or a win/lose depending on which you want more. Do you want it to be good for you? Than it doesn't taste wonderful. Do you want it to taste good? Than it's going to do a great job helping you gain that "freshman fifteen" you've so wanted.

Look. It isn't that bad. It's just a diet, sparkling drink but if you've ever had something like a Sparkling Ice, it's like that but less sharp. It's just a regular drink for regular people. Are you extraordinary? This might not be for you. You should be drinking something with some more pizzazz or zip. You're better than this. You're better than me.

Website
http://witbeveragecompany.com/wbc-brands-jelly-belly-wbc-gi-chicago-green-river-caruso-legacy-black-
Country
United States
Sweetener
Acesulfame Potassium
Categories
Diet, Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 2nd, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Gevalia Iced Coffee with Almond Milk Mocha

Gevalia Iced Coffee with Almond Milk Mocha

When Editor Dan and Jay and I get together, we eat food. We love the stuff. It's like we need it to live. When we've got a couple more minutes than normal, we do what other extremely attractive and confident men do which is go to Big Lots.

Why wouldn't I like a nice, tall mocha drink? You're right. I wouldn't not like it. Except, of course, when it tastes like this.

I don't think it's the almond milk because I've had that but something in this drink gets stuck to my tongue and tastes bad and tastes bad for an extended amount of time. My live-in girlfriend likes it so I'll try to think of the good parts. It does have a good mocha taste. It's nice and smooth. Badness? It's just got some sort of...presence that sits on your tongue like you on the couch after the boss was riding you all day. You aren't moving. You don't care what's on TV. You will watch The Bachelor if it comes on. You like watching those girls fight about their completely fabricated lives anyhow. This drink resides for so long that it should have to pay rent or mortgage depending on your current living situation.

I wish this was better. Almonds? Love 'em. Mocha? Love it. This? Naw, bro. Swing and a miss.

Website
http://www.gevalia.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 29th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Gevalia Kaffe Iced Coffee with Almond Milk, Mocha, 11.1 Fluid Ounce (Pack of 8)

Steaz Iced Green Tea Lemon Ginger

Steaz Iced Green Tea Lemon Ginger

"Where da ginger at!" I exclaim as I drink sip after sip. "Where da ginger at!" I yell when I can't find my live-in girlfriend. More importantly, though, this drink didn't have ginger in it as far as I know. You can tell me up and down that it did but taste it, bro. Ginger it does not. There isn't that earthy flavor that ginger brings and there isn't that sweet heat that ginger so generously gives.

Gingerless aside it was good. Like a lightly sweetened half and half. Oh a half and half cut into thirds called a "third and third and third" with lemonade, tea and ginger? Now we're talking. You hear me, Steaz, if that is your real name. Now we're talking.

Website
http://www.steaz.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 29th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Caruso's Italian Style Soda Blood Orange

Caruso's  Italian Style Soda Blood Orange

Blood orange, the most metal of flavors, is quickly becoming a hackneyed flavor for me. It's like people are making it the "cooler orange" when it's really just a little bit different. Sweeter than citric. That's all. Does that make it cooler? I don't think so. You know what would make it cooler? If it came around in a dope leather jacket. That would make it different than all the other citric lemmings.

How does this fare? A little bit different than an orange pop. A little bit different than any old orange pop. This is fine. It's not going to win any awards but if you did something to make it different (leather jacket) it might be something special. For now it's just orange pop to someone that isn't familiar with the likes of Thirsty Dudes. At this point we've reached millions of people though. Right? Millions? Is my decimal in the right place. No? Tens? Oh come on! We're better than that. Jay! Tell them we're better than that.

Website
http://witbeveragecompany.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 18th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Buy at SpecialtySodas.com

Doppelganger Sparkling Bitters Meyer Lemon

Doppelganger Sparkling Bitters Meyer Lemon

Ohh! So bitter. So adult. This drink is the sedan of drinks. This drink is the station wagon of drinks. This is a mature drink. This is a drink for mature people. This drink is punishment for your kids when they get out of line. Failed a test? Sparkling bitters. Hit a kid? Sparkling bitters. Peed in their pants? Sparkling bitters.

Is it bad? Not if you are in the right mindset. It's bitter. As soon as you accept it, it kind of tastes like a lemon rind. I don't know where the bitter comes from but it's there, man and it's strong. It's not sour. I don't know if you thought you were drinking poorly made lemonade but it's far from that. This is something you wonder if they made it wrong or if you're supposed to mix it with something. This is a drink to drink in the land of confusion.

Website
http://www.sparklingbitters.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 14th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Sparkling Bitters Water, Meyer Lemon, 12 oz glass-bottle (Pack of 12)

Sotea Carbonated Tea Citrus-A-Peel

Sotea Carbonated Tea Citrus-A-Peel

"Don't bother" would be my response to the statement, "I'm going to carbonate tea." Sure, it's a real "millennial" response but seriously, don't bother. Iced tea is like the perfect drink and you're going to ruin it with a million sugars. Yeah, I said it. This drink is ruined. It's got citrus but it tastes more like someone dumped half a can of Sprite into...something. I am not sure if there is tea in this to be honest. Aren't I always honest with you, friends? This kind of stinks. How's that for honest? It's too sweet and I don't like it. You like that? Brutal. It might be sweeter than actual Sprite. They really let this drink have it. Woo! So sweet. So bad. Peace.

Website
http://mysotea.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Sparkling
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 11th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Diabolo French Soda Tangerine Pomegranate

Diabolo French Soda Tangerine Pomegranate

Well, la-di-da, Mr. Frenchman. French soda. What a great name for something that just pop as far as I'm concerned. Added to the fact that erythritol is in it which makes it totally more American, don't expect something exotic. This is not escargot. This is pop and I will review it as such.

Tangerine pomegranate. It's a nice, lighter flavor. Maybe that's what makes it "French" is that it's not a million grams of sugar and syrup. I'm not giving it to them. I'm not holding an embargo on France, but I'm not accepting that this is anything different that a lightly flavored pop. It's good. Ol' fashioned American pop can come across as heavy and too sweet. This is absolutely not that and I don't miss the "extra" or "bonus" flavor at all. This would be a nice transition between, say "American pop" and something like a seltzer or even a Dry pop as that is basically "almost soda."

A car hole.

Website
http://www.drinkdiabolo.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 7th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Doppelganger Sparkling Bitters Classic Aromatic

Doppelganger Sparkling Bitters Classic Aromatic

As if seltzer isn't "for adults" enough, here is one that tastes like you’re eating an orange you dropped in the woods and let it sit and marinate in the bark of a thousand trees. Is that bad? Not if you like the great outdoors. That goes for the place or the movie in no particular. It's good. It's sparkling and at the end is bitter but in the beginning, it's got a nice, orangey flavor. It does turn quickly but you've got to "man up" quickly because it's going to get tough soon; sooner than you probably thought; sooner than you probably wanted. If you wanted it to stay calm forever, you have the wrong drink because this is a drink for people with some hair on their chest. Male or female it doesn't matter this drink is indiscriminately put hair on your chest and on your knuckles. The type of person that knows how to use a saw and uses a saw regularly, that's who this is for. You know, the type of person that doesn't use conditioner but lets the dust from hay and sawdust "take care of it." Is this you? Are you this? If so, you've got a drink waiting for you at the top of a pile of gravel you have to shovel out for no particular reason which you will do with glee.

Website
http://www.sparklingbitters.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 5th, 2016
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Sparkling Bitters Water, Classic Aromatic, 12 oz glass-bottle (Pack of 4)

Aspen Maple Bacon Hot Chocolate

Aspen Maple Bacon Hot Chocolate

You might think this was a good idea if you're one of those dudes who makes pant tents for bacon but if you are a regular person, this is vile. Woah. This is gross. It smells like salt and smoke flavoring and "regular" hot chocolate. When you taste it, you thank your lucky stars that it doesn't taste as bad as it smells. It smells like fake bacon and tastes like fake smoke and has entirely too much salty saltiness.

This is a bad idea that went too far. Reign it in, Aspen.

Website
http://www.aspenspices.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Mix/Concentrate
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 17th, 2015
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Aspen Mulling Hot Chocolate Maple Bacon
| 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |