Mike Literman (1766 reviews)

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

Koithan Apple Farm Apple Cider

Koithan Apple Farm Apple Cider

Living in the North East part of these United States, I am familiar with "apple season." It's called "autumn" or "fall" for people outside of these here parts. Let me tell you how it goes, because it's important.

Typically families buy large plots of land and hand it down from generation to generation. They grow rows and rows and acres and acres of nothing but apple and sometimes pumpkins. They make their money by selling apples to local markets and by selling the worlds best cider, apple juice, donuts, and anything else you can make with apples. I'm telling you, you've never had a donut until you have a fresh apple cinnamon apple from an apple orchard. There’s nothing like it in the world.

With farms like these, they make gigantic batches of apple cider throughout the season and they make it with different apples and sometimes they throw other fruits in there to create a line of beverages.

This cider is like a dream. It's some of the best cider I've had, but it's on par with other local ciders. It tastes like if you just crushed up apples and sold the juice and that's all it is. No preservatives, no sugar, no treatment. Get it while it's hot, get it while it's fresh, get it for a limited time. I won't even drink cider between the months of December and July since it's probably somehow treated, sweetened, and grossified.

Take a trip to New York some time and get a gallon of apple cider. You'll never think the same way about apples and apple juice will forever be the second best when it comes to apple flavored beverages.

Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Cider
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 29th, 2010
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DeDe Basil Seed with Honey

DeDe Basil Seed with Honey

First of all, look at the large image of this. The flavor tells it all. Basil seeds. This didn't taste like what you would think and all I can use to describe it is if you took a banana Laffy Taffy and rolled it around in birdseed for texture. You know what I hate? Banana Laffy Taffy. If anyone has a good gag reflex and loved banana Laffy Taffy, this could potentially be the drink for you. Otherwise I might advise you stay clear.

This trip to the Asian market is slowly ending up in a bust. I've got to go back, but I might be less adventurous next time.

Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Other/Weird, Water
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 29th, 2010
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College Club Grape

College Club Grape

You, over there, you bring balloons. You with the hat on, you bring streamers. You two are in charge of the cake and you over there with the ugly face, bring pizza. None of that thick stuff, either. The thinner the better. Oh, me? I'll bring the pop. No Jimmy, I won't get diet pop. What, do I want to kill my friends? No, it will be grape. Yeah, dude, grape pop. It's a party isn't it? What other time would you drink grape pop? Parties are grape pop's only outlets.

This, so far, is my least favorite pop from Monroe. It's got a good initial "candy" grape taste, but kind of quickly gets a bit medicinal. It's thick, too. It also feels syrup-y. I know that's not a word and I don't care. What, am I going to use the word "viscous"? Not in this review, buddy. Lowest common denominator.

Website
http://www.collegeclubbeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar and or Corn Sweetener
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 30th, 2010
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Aloevine Pomegranate

Aloevine Pomegranate

Quite a departure from the flavor country that is grape Aloevine, but it's nice. It's not too strong and you don't get the bitterness that is often associated with pomegranate drinks. Plus, I mean come on, the chunks.

This is a light flavor, like a well-made juice with aloe in it. Like if you went to the store, bought mix, which was in concentrate form, not powder, and then ground up an aloe plant and put the shavings in your drink.

If you haven't had any aloe vera drinks up to now, this is a good, safe place to start. Nothing is overpowering. If you love it, you have the ability to buy the 1.5 liter bottles of it. Thanks Aloevine!

Website
http://www.saluttiflorida.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 30th, 2010
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Buy Now
Aloevine Aloe Vera Drink Pomegranate Flavor (1.5ltr) 12 Pack

Tymbark Apple and Mint

Tymbark Apple and Mint

This is a tough one. I've got a generous glass and I'm torn. It has a very strong mint taste. It's very cool both to your nose and your tongue. Don't think of it as "apple mint" juice; think of it as apple juice infused with mint. It's a pretty artificial mint taste but they say that it's natural mint. It's a strange peppermint if it's peppermint at all. It's not spearmint. I can tell you that for darn sure. If you slam it, it's a strange apple juice, but if you mull over it, you get the mint before and after. I like the tart apple-ness in the middle to break it up. I'd say give it a try. It comes in a resealable carton, which is convenient.

I found this in the Polish section of a grocery store, so if you're jonesing to try it, check there first.

Website
http://www.tymbark.com/
Country
Poland
Sweetener
Sugar and or Corn Sweetener
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 30th, 2010
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Buy Now
Tymbark, Drink Asptc Aple Mint, 33.8 OZ (Pack of 12)

Mogu Mogu Orange

Mogu Mogu Orange

At my house growing up, we were never allowed to finish the orange juice. My dad never said a single thing, but my mom instilled the fear into us that he would do something if we ever finished it. "Don't finish the orange juice on your father." mom would say. Daily. She would say it so often that I still think it when I buy orange juice for my own house.

This drink does not taste like orange juice, but it does taste like the following made up scenario that I am going to make up right now for you, for free.

I come home from school. I'm thirsty. I drink all but a small bit of orange juice. I then quickly realize that I have drunk too much and that there is an insufficient amount for even the teeniest of glasses. I look around in the fridge. Bingo. Orange drink. You know the stuff. 0% juice. 100% gross. I hear the garage door open. Dad. Crud. I pry the cap off the orange drink and pour a generous amount into the orange juice container. It's orange and after all, orange is orange, right? Pops will never know.

Fast-forward to today and if I poured that glass of "orange juice" this is what it would taste like. Also, add some nata de coco and you're spot on.

Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 1st, 2010
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Chadwick Bay Enhanced Smoothie Berry Blast

Chadwick Bay Enhanced Smoothie Berry Blast

Jay, buddy. Take a load off, why don't'cha. You always review Smoothies so I'll take the wheel on this one.

In this car that I am now driving I will review this smoothie. I think that this smoothie is good. There is carrot in it and you can taste it. It they tried to hide it, you can't hide for long, my orange friend. The scent of it is very good, very fruity. The taste of it was...different. I'm not used to the consistency of smoothies. Think of a fruit punch with the texture of tomato soup.

There is no sugar added, which is a plus and it keeps the calories down. One might say it's good for you.

I've got to pull over. Jay has to use the turlet.

Country
United States
Sweetener
Naturally Sweetened
Categories
Smoothie
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 1st, 2010
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Marley's Mellow Mood Black Tea, Peach, Raspberry, and Passion Fruit

Marley's Mellow Mood Black Tea, Peach, Raspberry, and Passion Fruit

Everyone who brought your hemp necklaces, hemp bracelets, and copies of Legalize It can leave. You, in the back using your dreads as a pillow, go home. This tea is for the Everyman man.

This tea is delicious. I don't care for peaches. So sue me. I never did. The passionfruit, on the other hand, is quite prominent. You get a nice, subtle bite from the cane sugar, which I am a fan of. I haven't felt any of the effects of the valerian root or melatonin, but maybe I was already a bit sleepy from a large dinner.

This is a legit tea as far as tea goes. Don't think of it as a hippy drink because it's too fantastic to be typecast. Now Ben Stiller...you can typecast him all the darn time.

Website
http://www.marleybeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Relaxation
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 1st, 2010
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Buy Now
12 Pack of Marley's Mellow Mood - Black Tea Peach Raspberry Passion Fruit

White Cow Dairy Anise

White Cow Dairy Anise

What to say...where to start...alright.

I've been looking for an anise flavored drink for a while. Pop, juice, water, it didn't matter. I never see it and I want it. I put the feelers out and almost instantly I get the feedback that right in my backyard (if my backyard was 5 city blocks) there is a guy who sells anise flavored yogurt drink. Awesome, right? Well here's where it gets fishy.

I go, “Dude's awesome!” He's got cherry and anise and turmeric, all weird stuff. I buy two, one being the anise. It's settled. After all, it's primarily yogurt whey and yogurt solids so it's bound to be good. I see the red on the bottom so it's as if he's powderized anise and put it in this drink.

I uncap it and take a sip and it's alarming. Yes, I get anise, but there is a follow up taste of just soured milk. I know that it's the unpasteurized yogurt but it's got a certain sting that makes me feel like I've done something wrong, like drink soured milk.

I really wanted to like this and I give this guy all the credit in the world for putting this product out as well as very good yogurt. All locally done. This drink is simply not for me but many of my friends like it. I feel like it's either you do or your don't. I don't.

Website
http://www.whitecowdairy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Yogurt
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 2nd, 2010
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White Cow Dairy Tumeric

White Cow Dairy Tumeric

I will review this drink simply by copying the conversation with the most adorable ~3 year old girl I know:

Me: Do you want to try this? You might not like it.
Her: What is it?
Me: It's like a yogurt drink with Indian spices in it.
Her: Is it orange juice?
Me: No. Do you still want to try it?
Her: Yes, I'll try it. {sips}.
Me: Do you like it?
Her: No. What is it? It's not orange juice.
Me: It's a strange drink with turmeric in it, which is a spice they put in Indian food.
Her: Why is there Indian food in that drink?

Website
http://www.whitecowdairy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Yogurt
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 2nd, 2010
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