A nice thing about Spartos is that all of their regular flavors have red caps and writing, while the sugar free varieties are yellow. It makes it nice and simple for those warriors going into battle who are concerned about their sugar intake. Let me tell you the numbers of those sorts of warriors are rising.

Many of you out there probably have no idea what jackfruit is. My personal experience with it is limited to is using an unripe one to make vegetarian pulled pork. At that point the fruit is not yet sweet and it makes a perfect substitute texture wise. I have never had ripe jackfruit before, nor do I believe I have ever had anything flavored by it. While I was drinking this I could faintly taste the watermelon, which is a feat unto itself, as it's such a watery fruit that getting it's flavor without it tasting like candy is nearly impossible. I also kept tasting a hint of banana, but it wasn't the gross aspect of bananas. I even checked the label twice to see if it had banana in it. I was certain there was just a little in there. Overall it had a nice tropical flavor, you know with a hint of banana.

When I got home, I did a little (minimal) research on jackfruit and discovered that when ripe it is sweet and tastes like a mix between a banana and a pineapple. It's good to know that my taste buds are still working properly after all these years. There is the “coolness” of the stevia, as Mike refers to it, but it lets the actual taste shine and not some fake diet flavor. It really is the superior sugar free sweetener.

Since I have never had an actual ripened jackfruit I can't say for certain, but according to the description I read of the flavor Spartos got it right on the nose. Now I want to take a trip to Toronto, hit up Chinatown and get some fresh jackfruit, both ripe and not. I've got fruit and veggie pulled pork on the mind.

I cannot stress enough how this is not for everyone. I mean I think it's pretty obvious from the name and the ingredients listed right on the front that Joe and Sara Hamburger stand would never buy this in a million years to try, but I still feel like I needed to give a disclaimer. While it is not as intense as the vanilla bean flavored one, this ton bottle packs quite a punch. It's an extreme anti-oxidant cleansing formula full of turmeric, ginger, cardamom, spearmint, agave, lemon, sea salt, cayenne and cinnamon. Think about all of that mixed together. Doesn't it sound more like some sort of fancy soup, than a health drink? Well, that's pretty much what it tastes like a cold fancy soup that tastes like it just has to be insanely good for you, which it is. I know Tumeric is going to a niche market with this drink, but if they wanted to reach a wider audience perhaps marketing it as a healthy cold soup would interest more people. Who knows though, I'd gather that a large majority of the people in this world wouldn't care regardless. At least people would know what they were getting into before trying it though. If I were told this was a soup, my body would have been more prepared. As it is now, it's telling me, “Are you sure we should be ingesting this?” The answer is yes, of course.

The sweetness of the agave takes away a lot of the harshness of the other ingredients. It still tastes the way a spice shop smells, but that is what it is essentially. If you think about each of the ingredients while you are dinking it, each are easily identifiable. The ginger and the cayenne give it a nice little burn that I enjoyed a great deal, but my ladyfriend thought was a bit too much. What does she know though? She's no professional.

In a theoretical fight, who do you think would win, a lion or a bull? What if one of them happened to be roaring and the other was colored red for some reason? Some might say that the lion would win because it has sweet fangs and claws (aka it's a lot sweeter and more candy-like). Others may choose the bull because of its ravaging horns (aka more carbonation). Me, I think it's a pretty even match and that both parties should just nod their heads and walk away from each other. I mean this is all theoretical of course.

I know. I am drinking out of a coconut. How can someone brand this as a product to call their own? It's literally a coconut with a drill hole in the top and scoring from what appears to be a band saw or something. There is a cool little tool to open up the top to drink out of that comes with a knife that (might) allow you to cut the coconut open when you're done drinking the water.

This is pure coconut water. Nothing less, nothing more; like the Killwhitneydead record. If you live somewhere that you can't get a coconut, you know, like everywhere except Hawaii, then if you can find this, you can find the warm shores of the ocean right in your mouth without all the hassle of climbing a tree, hatcheting down a coconut, climbing down a tree, cracking the coconut on a rock or something. I'm not a huge fan of coconut water but this is it in it's purest form and I cannot deny it what it is. This is what all coconut water should at least taste like.

I might try to cut this thing open and eat some of the meat inside. You know, for fun. It's called "meat," right? I think it is. Coconut. I would die on an island if this is all I had. I suppose I would just deal with it after a while but I don't know how long I could just drink this. I don't think I would fight an animal for it. Do animals drink coconuts? I think if an animal saw me eating this, I would delightfully hand it over, as I hardly wanted it in the first place.

If someone hands you a berry flavored drink 9.5 times out of 10, you know exactly what you're in for: an amalgamation of mainly strawberries, raspberries and blueberries. If you're lucky there will be some blackberries in the mix as well. Who doesn't love it when that happens? The other .5 of the time you get drinks like this. I don't know what berry they use in these drinks, but it has a vague hint of fennel to it. It's not much, it took me a long time to place the taste, but there is just something extra to the flavor that doesn't normally occur in berry drinks. Depending on the beverage it can possibly ruin the whole thing. In this, I kind of like it. It's strange and unexpected.

An sentence overview of this drink would read thusly: “A sweetened berry flavored sparkling water with the faintest hint of the little candies you eat after an Indian buffet.” I should know, that's exactly what my dinner was last night. Unlike my saag and chana masala, this is also brimming with electrolytes. I swear they are in everything nowadays.

Detroit, what?! Danny Brown, you are a lucky guy to be from a place that makes this. Yes, I'm talking to you, Danny Brown. I saw you when you played Buffalo and you turned me around. I like you, man. I watched your Nardwuar interview and you were totally likable. You get to get candy apple whenever you want now because of this drink. Sure, you're on the streets touring and you can't drink it every day but if you ever cross paths with ICP, I'm sure they've got some that you can borrow.

Danny, man to man, not all Faygo is bad and this is as artificial as they come. I'll admit it. This tastes like a melted candy apple. Although that might not exist, it's imaginable and not far from that. It's way too big for me and I've shared this with five other people and they all agree; this isn't too bad at all.

Danny, keep it up. Seriously, you do good work. Good collaborations and good solo stuff. I await your new record and XXX was good.

Who do I think I am to believe that I have a refined enough palate to taste subtle differences in bottled water? Well for one, I am an unpaid professional, which I suppose means that I am not a professional at all and two, I never said I could taste the differences. Well I know this tastes much better than tap water, and I drink that all the live long day. Seriously I'd say I drink close to two gallons of water a day. I always have a glass next to me, and I take trip to the restroom enough to prove it.

Aqua Hydrate surely tastes cleaner and purer. Perhaps that has to do with the raised pH level. According to the bottle normal water is at a 7 and this is 9+. For those of you like myself that never gave much attention to science teachers, the higher the pH is the higher the alkalinity, which means the more likely it is to detoxify excess acid waste that can lead to sluggishness, loss of strength, and decreased bone and muscle health. Yes, I stole that off of the bottle. I may be a scientist, but chemistry is not my field of expertise.

To sum this up: It's water, it's wonderful, it's crisp, it's clean and it has electrolytes, which will help you get through your day. Just drink more water people. It's good and it makes you feel healthier.

We are a website about honesty. We tell it how it is all the time and for this installment of the "Truth Doctors" I will tell you that I expected this drink to suck big time. I am a sexy man enough man to admit that it did not suck. It was a little boring but it didn't pass the threshold of "suck." It was a bit dull, like if you had an average coffee and masked it with some sugar and whatever the heck nitrogenated coffee is. I assume due to my (zero) years as a scientist it is coffee with nitrogen injected into it but what do I know, I'm just a (self proclaimed) scientist? It's not as good as standard espresso and milk and sugar drinks but I never expected it to be. It lies on the spectrum higher than I thought it was going to be with a little bit of sweetness and no gross energy drink taste. Also, it shows a fake cross section of the drink and it labels the top two inches of the can as the "foam zone" which I, for some reason, find very amusing.

I'm having dèjà vu here kiddies. This tastes so familiar, that I had to go back and read our review for Honest Kids Super Fruit Punch. Just as I thought, this is basically the same light fruit punch, except with one little upgrade; there is no sugar added. I'd like to believe that I was partially responsible for that, seeing as it was the only complaint I had about it in pouch form. See, people do read us! This isn't a waste of time!

Do you see that completely fabricated wonderful blue sky and landscape on that bottle? When I drink this, I am there, and it is as real as anywhere. This is just plain wonderful. Like a lot of mixed fruit beverages the majority of juice in this is apple. It's a malleable juice that can take on the flavor of other fruits without overpowering them. Sure you can still taste the apple a bit, but it blends in nicely. It calms down the pineapple juice so it isn't so harsh as to give your throat the feeling that you just blew chunks in a public toilet. So you have this nice mild blend of pineapple and regular apple juices. That would be great as it is, but as Ralph & Charlie's is prone to do, they stepped up the game and added a bunch of carrots.

I like carrots. Actually, I borderline love carrots, but I had my reservations about this juice before I tried it. Carrots can be very overpowering in juice form, but in here they are team players. You can tell that there is a vegetable at work in the taste, but the fact that it is a carrot only slightly pokes its head out of the rabbit hole (all puns intended).

It's not fresh juice, and there is added sugar, but despite those things this tastes great, and you can drink it without feeling terrible about yourself. Well you can still feel terrible about yourself, but it will have nothing to do with your beverage choice.

I handed this to my friend/coworker and I told him to get "V Blasted." We knew it was gross, we acknowledged it was gross, and then moved on. He unscrewed the cap, shook it, and got juice on him. I promptly told him that he got "V blasted." We knew it was gross, we acknowledged it was still gross, and then we moved on.

I don't care what you say this is a juice. You can call it water all you want but I would like to see you give anyone this drink and have them not call it a juice. Stop it with the water. No one is offended by the word "juice." As a juice it is quite good. It's sweet and has a slight sting from the sucralose but is promptly covered up by a rush of…€¦you guessed it, strawberry and kiwi. Good flavors, too. Nothing at all bad.

You get to buy it, make it, shake it, and drink a pretty good juice all in a matter of seconds. It's a pretty good deal also not forgetting the fact that it is a downright disgusting name that you get to keep your mind in the gutter for. Ugh. VBlast.

It's been some time since I've had an “everyday” root beer. That kind of hurts my head, since in the past I used to consume it by the bucket. Oh man, I wish there was a place that served root beer in buckets. You know, like those bars that serve drinks out of fish bowls or whatever weird receptacle they have. Anyway, when I've had a root beer in recent times it's been something more on the fancy side of the root.

With the first couple sips I thought to myself, “Self, I really miss this. It's simple, but it tastes great. It's a classic.” Then about halfway through the bottle I started to realize how thick the soda was, due to the HFCS sweetener. In fact I started to get in my head that the whole thing tastes like carbonated syrup. I still enjoyed it, but not with as much vigor as I had the first half. In my mind there is nothing wrong with Mug. Chances are that when you think of root beer it's more of this variety than a microbrewed one or anything fancy like that. It's a completely average root beer, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I believe the scientists who live above me have finally finished their time machine. As far as I can tell they got their flux capacitor or whatever working, traveled back to the mid 90's to rectify some travesty that took place and brought me back this iced tea to review all in an afternoon. Now I know that time travel is impossible, and messing with anything in the past would have horrible consequences on the future and yadda yadda yadda, but I can see no other explanation for the packaging of this tea. Certainly no one in this millennia would ever think that using tribal print would be enticing to anyone of any age group.

The peach flavoring in this is fairly strong, and there is a ton of sugar in there (57.5g in a 20oz bottle). It's nothing fancy, but it's also not supposed to be. I'm actually okay with it flavor wise. If you like really sweet tea and can't get enough of peaches, I'd happily hand you a bottle of this.

I just made a few calls to several friends who are tattoo artists and all three of them have confirmed that since Y2K they have not been asked to put any tribal artwork into anyone skin. There you have it, time travel is now possible.

People are still doing this, huh? This is every energy drink that I've ever had. It's the same taste, aftertaste, smell, can size, and so on. Why would you waste you money starting a company that makes a drink that tastes like twenty other company's drinks to a "T?" Seems like you could take that money and resources and, I don't know, put a fruit in it or something? Literally do anything to set it apart from the masses. There is nothing here that I can tell you that is any different than every popular energy drink out there. I've handed it to my energy drink guys here and they say that it's a sweeter, tarter, more candy version of Red Bull. There you have it. Who cares?

I think that if given the opportunity to run the United States, Rush Limbaugh would take the offer. Right there on the table. President Obama meets Rush at an undisclosed location (TGI Friday's) and he slides a piece of paper across the table. On the paper says the following words; "Do you want to take over?" and below it asked you to circle "Yes" or "No." He would answer, "Yes" and then they would eat a Jack Daniels burger, fried mac and cheese, and chicken tortilla soup.

If Rush had to win over America, which he would have to do to about half of the country, he could simply hand out this tea. It would be an olive branch that tastes like raspberry tea. No, not like diet raspberry tea, just regular raspberry tea. He could say something like, "I understand that some of you don't like me. My intentions are pure and to let you know how serious I am, I am giving you each a bottle of this tea. I am a man of research and that is why I have given unto you a bottle of diet iced tea that doesn't taste diet and still tastes great. I am a giving, generous, and genuinely care about this country. Please accept my prompt leadership and I will do my best to point us, much like the captain of a ship, towards greatness."

Rush, if you are reading this, which I assume you are, you can use this line when Obama meets you at a secret restaurant that may or may not sell deep friend green beans.

I've been holding onto this for a bit, just waiting for the right time when I needed a nice chocolate fix and a little pick me up after going to the gym. The chocolate fudge Orgain was great. It had a great fancy chocolate taste. It didn't taste like milk chocolate garbage that you get at Easter. I knew this wasn't going to be as strong in that department, but I expected a nice strong mocha flavor. The picture of the chocolate shavings on the packaging look just like what I needed today. Instead what I got was a whole lot of milk with a bit of dark chocolate to it, and the faintest hints of coffee. Yes, I did shake it up, twice in fact. I was hoping the flavor was hiding at the bottom, but it was not meant to be.

One thing this does have going for it is that it's a high protein drink that doesn't taste chalky, and doesn't have a thick consistency. It has that going for it. I never would expect this to be a protein drink. I would expect for it to be a mediocre mocha drink. For that it gains extra points.

Any time I drink fruit punch I imagine that if I had an array of fruit and hand-mushed them together, could I make a better drink? I'm not saying this is bad, but it's just a common thought that I have. You know that fruit punch came from someone making a fruit salad and then at the end of the day when all the fruit was gone some dared someone else to drink it. That drink was fantastic and from there, people recreated it. Now in the 20th century, people artificially make everything. I think at some point, Welch's probably had a bunch of fruit in a press and mechanically squished it into a vat. Now, they've probably found out how to "make" fruit flavors and it's a much smaller and more efficient operation.

This is a good juice. It's a good punch. It's very sweet and you can tell that it's very sweet. It's got corn syrup, which just seems wrong to me. I don't know why. I thought that Welch's was all natural. I thought wrong. This is a great drink for kids because it's super sweet and super fruity. Cruddy adults don't really drink fruit punch. If someone could somehow formulate an adult-friendly fruit punch, that would be alright with me.

You're walking down a city street. Can't you see and feel it now? The trees, the buildings, the never ending smell of old urine from each and every alley. There you are minding your own business, sipping on a bottle of Pepsi and someone runs up behind you and pushes you into an alley. “Oh great” you think, “I'm about to fall into a ginormous puddle of hobo piss” when you just keep falling, until your feet lightly touch the ground. The city looks the same, but everything is slightly off, but off in a way that is kind of appealing. The trees are a little bit greener and fuller. The shapes of the buildings are just a little more interesting. The alleys now smell of cinnamon sticks, and not like the toilet of some dive bar at 4am. You look down and in your hand is no longer the familiar red, white and blue bottle. In its place now sits a black and green bottle that reads Push. You untwist the cap and take a sip. True to form with the rest of this alternate dimension the pop contained within tastes just a little bit better. It's nothing that you would stand on the street corner and rant about to every passer by, but it tastes better than the Pepsi you normally drink. It tastes crisp and dark, with a classic cola taste. It's better than Pepsi, but it doesn't taste exactly like Coke or store brand either. It's its own cola that has its own unique subtleties. It's much better than the label led you to believe. You take the last sip and toss the bottle in a recycling bin on the corner. When you look up you realize that you're a block from your work, and everything looks normal again. Strange times indeed.

Before I tried this beverage I had a phone call with Kirk from Spartos and he gave me the low down on his company. To sum up the conversation he wanted to create an all natural product that was heavy on protein, but wasn't marketed specifically to the gym rat crowd. You see protein is a necessity in life and it can do a ton of wondrous things for you, but people generally only think about it when they think about working out. Sure, it is especially great for you at that time, but it can also be greatly beneficial at other times in your life. He went on to tell me what I already know; nearly all protein drinks on the market are created for working out in mind and therefore do not pay much attention to the flavor, or the thickness of the whey protein they typically use. Seriously, how often do you see one that isn't vanilla or chocolate? Spartos went out and made a line of fruit based flavors that people could drink as readily as they drink Vitamin Water.

I have to say, they definitely got the consistency down. There is still a faint hint of the whey protein flavor, but it is not overpowering and it's certainly not present with the thickness of the drink.

I generally like it when companies use out of the ordinary (well at least in the US) fruits in their drinks. In this I do have to question the use of Yuzu. For those not in the know is like a cross between a grapefruit and a mandarin. Sounds great, right? Unfortunately not in this drink. It's got a very distracting tart flavor that over shines the blackberry 3 to 1. It made it kind of hard to get through this bottle.

I really wanted to like this a lot as I can get behind what the company is going for 100%. Unfortunately this one is not for me. Had it been solely blackberry I think I would have loved it. Hopefully the other flavors will be better.

Hey you! Yes, you over there. Come over here I have something to ask you. You don't perhaps find yourself to be an intelligent person do you? Oh, you think of your self as a bumbling idiot? Well, you certainly have a bleak self perception. How about you keep moving along then? Hey you! No, not you self admitted “bumbling idiot,” the guy over there in the red. Dear sir in the red, do you consider yourself to be a person of intellect? You do, good. I have something for you to try; it's a new energy drink that has been formulated specifically for those with above average intelligence. There are a bunch of flavors that work towards specific functions. Since you look like a man who has been worn out by his day, try this one. It's called “Renew' has it has a mango-peach flavor. I know isn't it weird that it's mango-peach and not peach mango, like every other drink out there? That's where the intelligence comes in. Mangos are better than peaches, so they deserve top billing. Would a dummy think of that? You can bet your bottom dollar that they wouldn't, but then again you certainly wouldn't be on your bottom dollar because you are no idiot.

The thing about Vuka is that it's not your average energy drink. It tastes more like a flavored sparkling water with a little something extra, rather than toxic sludge. Who wouldn't like a sweetened sparkling water that tastes like peach and mango? You got me; the sugar would certainly make it into a soda. See you are smart. It is on the lighter side of pop though. There is a slight aftertaste to it that is reminiscent of alcoholic beverages, but it's not too terrible. I myself can't stand the taste of alcohol, and I was able to drink this with no problem.

If you're concerned about the energy aspect of Vuka, it has the same amount of caffeine and taurine as a comparable sized can of Red Bull. On top of that it also contains a bunch of B vitamins, panax ginseng, d-ribose and grape seed extract. Don't worry about it. It packs quite a punch.

Now doesn't that all sound/taste great? Now I'll just need to inspect your wallet for a quick background check. I'll run it to our offices around the corner and I'll meet you back here in twenty. I sure am lucky to have run into such an intelligent gentleman such as you.