Milk - 79 Reviews

Kirin Afternoon Milk Tea Chocolate

Kirin Afternoon Milk Tea Chocolate
First of all, dudes at work don't know how I do. I invited six people to drink this and give me a review. I said, "Here's your chance to be on a famous website no different than if you were Caroline Rhea or Anthony Michael Hall." They laughed, threw tomatoes at me like this was the early 1900's. I didn't even know we had tomatoes in the office but there is some sort of secret closet that contains nothing but over-ripened tomatoes ready for the next bad joke or snake oil salesman. In this case, it was my attempt to make half a dozen dudes filthy rich like me. Your loss, turds. Your loss.

How's this? Well, it's fine. It tastes like chocolate milk. One said, "It tastes like hot cocoa. No. It tastes like Yoo-hoo." which I kind of agree with. If there is tea in this, and I'm not doubting there is, it is promptly and sufficiently overshadowed by sugar and chocolate. Is that the worst thing in the world? No. Is the fact that it is eight months past expiration date that really makes it? No. It isn't. It just tastes like chocolate milk. That's cool, right? Yes and no. I wanted a chocolate tea with Jasmine and Rooibos tea, as friggin' promised. I just got a white person's chocolate milk. We all know that white people are the worst, right? I mean, enjoy your mac and cheese, idiots.

To the six people that drank this that are not on my yacht, think twice next time I offer you something you can't read the label for that you saw three other people drink before you. It could be the thing that turns your life around. Now I'm sorry but I have to go put tanning oil on hot babes that aren't my wife. My wife is cool with it. She told me she was.



As I tend to do, I spoke too soon.

Nick said:


I was approached by Mike with a nod and a wink, which of course either meant it was time for an afternoon tryst... or time to sample a new beverage. As I do require continued employment and HR frowns on at-work conjugal relations, it was fortunately the latter.

The beverage in question was a bottle which was decidedly not labeled for sale in America, fully decked out in Asian-language glyphs. OK, we have a potential mouth party, here. Strap in, taste buds.

I did see one English word: chocolate. Now, chocolate for me can be a multi-layer extravaganza of flavors, or a cloyingly sweet abomination of which Hershey's would be proud. The first sip showed this drink leaned more towards the latter. Primary flavor: sweet. Meh. There's also a texture that says to me there's some milk or other form of emulsified fat going on here. It's feels a little creamy.

What followed was a flavor I can describe as not-hot hot chocolate. Yeah, you know... the cup of hot chocolate you made to warm up after snow-blowing the GD driveway for the second time today, only to be drawn away by a wife request for something that clearly would have been less time for her to just do herself, and then later re-discover your room-temp cup, and then remembering as you drink it that room-temp hot chocolate is not nearly as good, and become lost in a downward spiral of negative emotions. Maybe that's just me, though. OK, I'm exaggerating. It's not bad. It's just not *good*. I wouldn't seek it out for this part. Thus far, we're not looking at a beverage I'd actively seek out again.

Ah - but the last, lingering hit of background tastes (and aftertaste). There's something going on here. Putting a finger on it is nigh impossible, between OMG SWEET and the milky texture and the mild cocoa. But there's... something. A complex of multiple things, very subtle. I'd later learn this was tea and hibiscus. It could have been turmeric and turpentine for all I could tell; they're so muted. But it *was* pleasant.
Is the little blend of almost missed flavors enough to make this a repeat drink?

Nah. I think it would have benefited from those secondary flavors being brought forward more.

I'm happy to have sampled it, and I enjoyed drinking what I had, but no, I wouldn't buy one. I'd probably have a hit if it was given to me. Especially if it was from Mike... with that wink and nod.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Iced Tea and Milk
Company
Kirin
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 1/25/19, 12:21 PM
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UCC Melon Creamy Soda

UCC Melon Creamy Soda
I came across this while looking for drinks to gift to Engineer Jay Zubricky at GCR audio while my band was working on our new record. I saw it and though, “Awesome, a green melon cream soda. Jay loves honeydew and while I'm sure it will be super sweet, it will probably also be tasty.” Little did I know at the time instead of it being a typical vanilla cream soda, it was actually a “creamy soda” meaning that it is soda with milk in it. Now that is strange. It certainly tastes like a regular, cheap, cream soda that has some melon flavoring added to it, but the milk adds another dimension to it, that I can't 100% get behind. It leaves a weird taste in my mouth and it also changes the viscosity of the beverage and makes it a little thicker than I was expecting. I was able to drink a few sips. Jay drank more than I did and seemed to enjoy it more as well. I guess all drinks are not for everyone.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Milk and Soda Pop
Company
UCCWebsite
Country
Japan
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Author
Jason Draper on 9/20/18, 6:57 AM
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Naked Nutrition Whey

Naked Nutrition Whey
This is simply not for me. I am fairly disgusted by milk and all it entails, unless it's in ice cream form, because I am a child. The protein powders I get are derived from plants or soy. This tastes like someone took powdered heavy cream (if such a thing exists) and then I reconstituted it with water into a thick milky beverage that I could not get more than one sip down. Had I been in a different location in my house I would have probably spit it out. The thing is I can't really complain because it is exactly what it advertises to be, and I cannot fault them for being something that I despise. They are what they are and I am what I am, and I will avoid consuming it again until the end of my days. Those of you out there who love milk get on this train, because it's protein that you will be happy about.
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Milk and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
Naked NutritionWebsite@nkdnutritioninc
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Jason Draper on 7/16/18, 3:48 PM
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Forager Mango & Chia

Forager Mango & Chia
Oh, a mango and chia probiotic smoothie. That sounds pleasant enough. Wait, the base of this is cashew milk? That sounds a bit odd, but I'm willing to give it a try, I mean I really like almond milk.
*one spit take later*
Okay, I was wrong that is not what I want to taste. I still think I would like cashew milk on its own. Hell, I think I would probably even like it if it were just that and mango juice. It might be a little weird, but I have a ghost vision of it on my taste buds and it's not bad. The problem lies with one, some or all of the other ingredients. I'm looking at you orange juice, dates, lemon juice, and bacillus coagulans GB1-30 6086 whatever you are (it's a probiotic strain). In your ranks is the think that makes this taste very vegetable juice like and not like something I want to drink at all. It tastes like it's the gross beverage that I would have to force myself to drink on a juice cleanse. Lucky for me I'm not cleansing and I don't have to force anything. Wait, why did I just chug the whole thing then?
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Juice and Milk
Company
ForagerWebsite@ForagerProject
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Jason Draper on 3/6/18, 11:12 AM
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Oatly Natural Energy Orange Mango

Oatly Natural Energy Orange Mango
I love everything about this packaging; the size, the totally recyclable material used (it feels great in your hands) and especially the design. It's simple, clean, and interesting. On top of the packaging being great, the contents are even better. In a blind taste test I would have bet all my monies on the fact that there was dairy in here. Goodbye duckets, because this is totally vegan and it made with oat milk. I've never had that before, nor did I know it existed, but it seems like a great alternative to dairy milk. Adding fruit to it makes it taste like a melted orange mango creamsicle. It's magical tasting and can easily fill in a gap for those who have dairy free diets.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Milk
Company
OatlyWebsite@OatlyAB
Country
Sweden
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Jason Draper on 9/19/17, 6:15 AM
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Elmhurst Naturals Horchata Traditional

Elmhurst Naturals Horchata Traditional
There is nothing quite like consuming more tacos than anyone on Earth should in one sitting and then washing it all down with some Horchata aka the perfect dessert beverage. In case you are unfamiliar with this liquid wonder it is basically cinnamon rice milk. Sometimes, if you are lucky, there is a little vanilla in there as well. It sounds so very simple, but it taste so very good. It's the kind of drink that even if it were regularly available to me, I would save it for special occasions because I would not want it to become commonplace. It is a treat I like to give myself when I think I've earned it.

I've had premade horchata before and they have always left something to be desired. While on the better side of things, this bottle is no exception. It's almost there, but at the same time it also tastes a bit on the watery side. I just don't know if perfect horchata could have any sort of shelf life. The dairy would spoil too quickly. I did enjoy this, but it was taunting me, knowing how great it could be. It is a good substitute if you were to live in a town that didn't have a proper Mexican restaurant that served the real stuff. It's got that cinnamon rice flavor, and even a touch of vanilla, but it's all just a little too weak. Drinking this makes me want to jump in my car and drive the 20 minutes to get a glass at my favorite Taqueria. I really shouldn't, but I want to. Let's say this is starter Horchata. A Mexican treat with training wheels if you will.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Milk
Company
Elmhurst NaturalsWebsite
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 7/20/17, 3:22 PM
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Ripple Chocolate

Ripple Chocolate
For months this tub o' milk substitute has been staring me down in the organic section of my local Wegmans. I think it's mostly because even though I know the product is called Ripple, the way the typeface is on the bottle I always read it as Apple and subconsciously my taste buds are tricked into thinking that it was going to be some sort of delicious chocolate apple milk. The somewhat hefty price tag ($8 I believe) help me back from making the purchase. My ladyfriend finally pulled the trigger, because unaware to me it has also been pulling at her with its chocolatey siren's call.

My first thought when I took as sip was a ridiculous disappointment. How on earth could I expect this to taste like apple when I knew it wasn't at all is a secret my brain to will take to its grave. I can't hold a lack of apple against the company when it was never promised in the first place.

My second thought was, well this isn't really a sipping beverage. It's a bit chalky and you can taste the plant protein in it (it comes from peas, luckily it tastes nothing like the semi-grossness of peas when they exist outside of a pot pie). It reminds me a lot of protein drinks, but less thick. I think the ideal use for this would be as a base for a smoothie. I can't see myself drinking a full glass of this, or putting it on cereal, but I can see me mixing it with some peanut butter and such mixed up in a blender.

This is nothing I would spend money on for the price, but it does have its purposes if you have the disposable income.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Milk and Other/Weird
Company
RippleWebsite@ripplefoods
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 7/9/17, 5:04 PM
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Ripple Chocolate

Ripple Chocolate
"Nutritious Plant-Based Milk" isn't really milk at all, is it? I mean, you could argue that almond milk or soy milk isn't milk but I guess it's all in your definition of what "milk" is, now, isn't it? One thing I can say is that whether you call this milk or a plant-based milk, I can tell you that it is one thing, it's not that great.

It most certainly tastes like something is "up." It doesn't have the smoothness of milk. I don't want to say gritty but there is definitely some stuff up in there. I get that it's a nice alternative to dairy and for vegans, if you had the strength, you might do a backflip to hear that you've got another alternative to murderous milk.

This tastes like chocolate but as far as chocolate milk goes, it's definitely lacking in both sugar and chocolate. I'm not saying that as an insult but you might want to think of this as not only dairyless milk, but also think of it as "chocolate milk light" but put "light" in double quotes because this 12 ounce bottle still manages to cram 220 calories in her. It's a difficult battle, milk, but I suppose we can't let them have all the fun in Mootown.
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Milk
Company
RippleWebsite@ripplefoods
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 9/26/16, 5:45 AM
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Sneakz Strawberry Milkshake

Sneakz Strawberry Milkshake
For the life of me I have no idea why they have labeled this a milkshake. It's not thick. There is no ice cream involved. It's really just strawberry milk…€¦with a bunch of veggies added. To be clear they are veggies that you also cannot taste. They are hidden nicely in the mix. Also to be clear, this doesn't taste like Strawberry Quik either. It's a different beast that is close, but not quite the same. It really just tastes like what I imagine people thought strawberry milk tasted like before Quik was invented. Did it even exist before then though? Is this a chicken/egg or a music/misery type situation? I guess it doesn't matter. This tastes pretty good and you're getting some vitamins from veggies. Kids will love it.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Milk and Milkshake
Company
SneakzWebsite@sneakzorganic
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 7/25/16, 7:16 PM
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Sneakz Vanilla Milkshake

Sneakz Vanilla Milkshake
A couple of years ago when Sneakz was launched, it was less than stellar. The vegetable taste seeped through too much and when mixed with chocolate it was like someone used Hershey syrup as salad dressing. The company realized the error of their ways and corrected their formula into something that was more than just passable. They also expanded their line to include strawberry and this vanilla.
I'm assuming they used the same basic principles they developed for the new chocolate version and applied them to vanilla because I don't taste vegetables in here at all. This is full of carrots, sweet potatoes, spinach and cauliflower but you would never know it by taking a sip. It's all vanilla, but not in a cheap ice cream kind of way. It tastes like actually vanilla beans were used. You can't ask for much more than that in a drink of this variety. You get ½ a serving of veggies and it tastes great. That's a win all the way around.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Milk and Milkshake
Company
SneakzWebsite@sneakzorganic
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 6/10/16, 7:53 AM
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REBBL Super Herb Elixer Turmeric Golden-Milk

REBBL Super Herb Elixer Turmeric Golden-Milk
I will start by saying; this wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The turmeric was pulled down by the coconut milk which is the featured player in this act. I actually wish that it was a bit stronger and it's already a pretty bold drink. I think the coconut is too strong and kills some of the spice of the turmeric. There is honey in here somewhere according to the ingredients but you can't taste it. At the end you get the sting of the turmeric but you have to really wait it out while the coconut milk flavor dies out.

I don't know if I would drink it again but this one bottle was good and I'm happy I was "forced" to drink it for the site otherwise I probably wouldn't have tried it.
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Coconut and Milk
Company
REBBLWebsite@REBBLTonic
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Stevia Extract
Author
Mike Literman on 3/15/16, 4:12 PM
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Organic Valley Organic Balance Milk Protein Shake Dark Chocolate

Organic Valley Organic Balance Milk Protein Shake Dark Chocolate
There are some things that John wanted to do differently. One thing was more "liquid meals." No, not alcohol like when people say, "Hey. Want to get a liquid lunch?" Just to be able to drink more meals and more rapidly turn into vitamins and minerals versus wasting calories with traditional food. Look, John likes pizza and tacos as much as the next guy. He can't keep doing that every day, though. He needs to supplement. John loves chocolate so he figured what better way to replace one meal that he loved with another flavor that he loved?

He bought a case of the Organic Valley Dark Chocolate protein shake and just started replacing. Day after day, meal after meal he found himself enjoying life more and more. He had more time to spend with friends since a meal now took him five minutes versus the hour it took him before. His bosses noticed his dedication and gave him a little raise. Everyone at work saw him as a hard worker and gave him the respect he deserved. He enjoyed the taste. It wasn't chalky like some other protein drinks he's had in the past. It's dark chocolate but just barely.

John has gotten what he wanted and more. He really stuck to it and learned a few things; You spend a lot of your life thinking about food and eating and Janet in accounting eats subs every day of the week and still looks fine.
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Milk and Milkshake
Company
Organic ValleyWebsite@OrganicValley
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Unrefined Cane Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 2/23/16, 9:32 AM
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Hershey's Strawberry

Hershey's Strawberry
I have not had strawberry milk since I was like fourteen. My friend Ian and I were sitting in his kitchen and drinking it and calling it "cow blood." Pretty morbid now that I think about it but we were fourteen. What did we know? Neither one of us had touched a boob. What else is there? We never drank. We didn't smoke. We just hung out all the time and played football in people's yards and hockey in people's driveways. We just hung out. We were all we knew and we were fine.

What we should have known was that this strawberry milk is complete garbage. Man. Now I know why I haven't had this stuff in like twenty years. It sucks. It tastes like candy strawberries but something about it still being milk makes me sick to my stomach. This is almost most certainly a "me" review and an opinion so don't get mad at me but I did not like this one bit. I don't really remember liking it back then which is probably why I haven't had any desire whatsoever to buy it.

Not for me. Ian, I'm telling you this now and I'm retroactively telling you this in 1994, I don't and never did like strawberry milk.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Milk
Company
Hershey'sWebsite@hersheys
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 12/14/15, 1:32 PM
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TruMoo Protein Plus Chocolate

TruMoo Protein Plus Chocolate
All the protein. I need all of it. I need to bulk up. Who has time for the gym. I'm going to slam all of the chocolate milks just to see what it would look like if I was chiseled out of marble. Wait...that's not how that works? I just cancelled my gym membership and in exchange spent my membership fee on chocolate milk. I've already drank eleven of them today.

Am I going to be alright? What poisoning? Protein poisoning? Really? Oh man. What do I do? Can I do a cranberry cleanse or something? Do I need to make myself throw up? Eleven milks. I can't believe I did that. How? Well it actually wasn't that hard. It tastes like a melted Wendy's Frosty. Who couldn't drink 154 ounces of Frosty. 154 ounces of chocolate milk? Oh man.

This day will go down in infamy as the one of the dumbest days of my life. I've got to reverse this by going on a cleanse. At least it wasn't a really rich, thick chocolate milk and was closer to the stuff you would make at home. I might have really put on some pounds. I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow. Probably a big poop. Hopefully a big poop.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Milk
Company
TruMooWebsite@TruMooMilk
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 8/26/15, 12:13 PM
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Fairlife Ultra Filtered Milk Chocolate

Fairlife Ultra Filtered Milk Chocolate
Unlike Jay, I eat meat. That being said, if I can eat an animal that was treated fairly before he was, let's face it, murdered, that's better. Morrissey, while wildly militant about it, is right in that respect. He's right about a lot. He's Morrissey. This milk is advertised as being produced humanly and who can't appreciate that? Sure, there are probably some people out there talking about how they don't care how the animals are being treated as long as they have a hamburger on their plate at the end of a day.

Does this chocolate milk taste happier? Not really. I'm not saying that it tastes sadder. If anything, it tastes thicker. It's creamy chocolate milk, more so than anything you make at home and probably thicker than a Nesquik. Yes, there is sucralose in it and yes you can taste it but it doesn't come off as a super diet chocolate milk. It's better for you in terms of calories, protein and calcium than "regular chocolate milk." You wouldn't guess it because it's pretty rich and if you didn't know better, tastes like it is not at all better for you than "the other guys" chocolate milk.


Our buddy Marvo over The Impulsive Buy reviewed this drink, too which reminded me that I had it in my queue. Now, all thanks to him, I really want another glass of it. You've done it again, Marvo.
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Milk
Company
FairlifeWebsite@fairlife
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 2/16/15, 11:17 AM
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Organic Valley Organic Balance Milk Protein Shake Vanilla Bean

Organic Valley Organic Balance Milk Protein Shake Vanilla Bean
There is an organic balance in an organic valley in an organic town in and organic state in an organic country in an organic world in an organic dimension. That's right, there is a parallel dimension to ours in which everything is organic. Without the aid of manmade materials and products, life expectancy isn't as long as it is here, but the people there know no other way, so they have no complaints. When they drink their vanilla bean milk protein shakes they are quite accustomed to it tasting like ever so slightly thicker milk that has had vanilla beans soaking in it. They don't know/care that it doesn't feel anything like a protein shake in our dimension. It doesn't have the graininess, or the viscosity that we have come ot expect from our protein shakes. It's as if milk came from a cow they added some vanilla and a bit of sugar and they have their meal replacement. Things are simpler in organic world and they just might be for the best.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Milk and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
Organic ValleyWebsite@OrganicValley
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Unrefined Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 1/21/15, 3:19 PM
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Upstate Farms Custard Shake Chocolate

Upstate Farms Custard Shake Chocolate
Billboards and most advertisements don't really sell anything to me. I don't want to sell my house fast or get a loan on a 1995 Ford Winstar. I don't want to go to the casino and I don't want to sue anyone for that time I slipped on ice. I don't have a DWI and I know that Geico can save 15% or more on my car insurance.

One thing that I didn't know is that this little guy exists. Custard shake. Sounds good right? Sounds rich. Let me tell you friend, your imagination isn't lying. This is good and it is rich. I can also very simply review this for you. Ready? This chocolate custard shake tastes like if you went to Wendy's, bought a Frosty, left it in the car so you could run into a store to buy a new pair of shoes, ran into that dude that you don't like that talks to you even though you get the feeling that he gets the feeling that you don't like him, returned to your car only to forget that you had a Frosty in it and it melted. You shrug because at the end of the day, it's still fantastic and drank it all the same. It's that good. Melted Frosty. Nailed it.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Milk
Company
Upstate FarmsWebsite@UpstateFarms
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 12/15/14, 11:09 PM
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7 Eleven Mexican Hot Chocolate

7 Eleven Mexican Hot Chocolate
I am aware of the fact that this is a tremendously generic photo and there is nothing I can do about that short of take a picture of the dispenser I received the drink from. Taking that with a grain of salt, this drink is better than you would presume. It is slightly spicy like you would expect a Mexican Hot Chocolate. If you haven't had it, please find some. It is hot chocolate, which is delicious, mixed with some spices like cinnamon and some peppers so it's equal parts spicy and herby. Herby? Eh, I'll accept it.

Another little tidbit of information that you might like to know is that society and generosity is not dead. Why would drinking a Mexican hot cocoa mean that? It doesn't. What does is that I forgot my wallet and was about to dump this down the drain along with my limited amount of happiness but a woman at the counter saw me do "the pat" against my pants and knew what was up. She bought it for me and I was eternally grateful. Seriously, I do nice things for you people all the time and it rarely comes back. I don't ask for it, but I'm silently counting to myself and the chart points at me being a real super guy and you at being the equivalent of human garbage.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Milk
Company
7 ElevenWebsite
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Author
Mike Literman on 8/4/14, 1:28 PM
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Yazoo Strawberry

Yazoo Strawberry
A. Excuse me. Yes, umm I don't mean to interrupt you but could you please tell me what they delightful pink beverage you are drinking is? I am from another country and I would love to try the local delicacies. You see I am a bit of a foodie and would love to try some of this.

B. This is a Yazoo.

A. Ohh, that sounds exotic! Is it infused with rose petals? Oh, oh is it some sort of exotic fruit that only grows locally?

B. It is flavored milk. It tastes like Strawberry Quik dude!
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Milk and Milkshake
Company
YazooWebsite@YazooMilkDrink
Country
United Kingdom
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 5/2/14, 11:13 AM
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North American Beverage Chocolate Moose Milk Chocolate

North American Beverage Chocolate Moose Milk Chocolate
Look out! The moose is loose!! I don't know what to do. Climb on the kitchen table like a 50's housewife. That can't hurt. Can moose climb chairs? They can?! Oh man. Here they come? Close your eyes!!! I love you honey. This is it. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are...are they gone? Are we alive? What just happened? Is that a basket on the counter? What's in there? Canned chocolate milk? With a moose on it? Did that moose come in here and leave a basket of chocolate milk with a friggin' moose on it? What nice animals. Moving forward, I dare you to not think of all moose are angels. Let's have a crack at this stuff to celebrate living through that moose attack, shall we?

Hmm. You know, we've agreed that those moose are alright guys but this drink is alright in the most mediocre of terms. It's strangely thick and, yeah sure, it's chocolaty but it's like weird, powdery chocolate milk. It tastes like it might be watered down, too. Not only that, but it unfortunately doesn't have any mousse-like qualities. I wouldn't expect it to other than the fact that the drink is called "Chocolate Moose" like it would be a play on words.

Honey, moose are our friends. Those great felt antlers. Great, nay, majestic animals. Their choice of drink needs work.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Milk
Company
North American BeverageWebsite
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 4/23/14, 2:27 PM
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