China - 31 Reviews

Kirin Afternoon Milk Tea Chocolate

Kirin Afternoon Milk Tea Chocolate
First of all, dudes at work don't know how I do. I invited six people to drink this and give me a review. I said, "Here's your chance to be on a famous website no different than if you were Caroline Rhea or Anthony Michael Hall." They laughed, threw tomatoes at me like this was the early 1900's. I didn't even know we had tomatoes in the office but there is some sort of secret closet that contains nothing but over-ripened tomatoes ready for the next bad joke or snake oil salesman. In this case, it was my attempt to make half a dozen dudes filthy rich like me. Your loss, turds. Your loss.

How's this? Well, it's fine. It tastes like chocolate milk. One said, "It tastes like hot cocoa. No. It tastes like Yoo-hoo." which I kind of agree with. If there is tea in this, and I'm not doubting there is, it is promptly and sufficiently overshadowed by sugar and chocolate. Is that the worst thing in the world? No. Is the fact that it is eight months past expiration date that really makes it? No. It isn't. It just tastes like chocolate milk. That's cool, right? Yes and no. I wanted a chocolate tea with Jasmine and Rooibos tea, as friggin' promised. I just got a white person's chocolate milk. We all know that white people are the worst, right? I mean, enjoy your mac and cheese, idiots.

To the six people that drank this that are not on my yacht, think twice next time I offer you something you can't read the label for that you saw three other people drink before you. It could be the thing that turns your life around. Now I'm sorry but I have to go put tanning oil on hot babes that aren't my wife. My wife is cool with it. She told me she was.



As I tend to do, I spoke too soon.

Nick said:


I was approached by Mike with a nod and a wink, which of course either meant it was time for an afternoon tryst... or time to sample a new beverage. As I do require continued employment and HR frowns on at-work conjugal relations, it was fortunately the latter.

The beverage in question was a bottle which was decidedly not labeled for sale in America, fully decked out in Asian-language glyphs. OK, we have a potential mouth party, here. Strap in, taste buds.

I did see one English word: chocolate. Now, chocolate for me can be a multi-layer extravaganza of flavors, or a cloyingly sweet abomination of which Hershey's would be proud. The first sip showed this drink leaned more towards the latter. Primary flavor: sweet. Meh. There's also a texture that says to me there's some milk or other form of emulsified fat going on here. It's feels a little creamy.

What followed was a flavor I can describe as not-hot hot chocolate. Yeah, you know... the cup of hot chocolate you made to warm up after snow-blowing the GD driveway for the second time today, only to be drawn away by a wife request for something that clearly would have been less time for her to just do herself, and then later re-discover your room-temp cup, and then remembering as you drink it that room-temp hot chocolate is not nearly as good, and become lost in a downward spiral of negative emotions. Maybe that's just me, though. OK, I'm exaggerating. It's not bad. It's just not *good*. I wouldn't seek it out for this part. Thus far, we're not looking at a beverage I'd actively seek out again.

Ah - but the last, lingering hit of background tastes (and aftertaste). There's something going on here. Putting a finger on it is nigh impossible, between OMG SWEET and the milky texture and the mild cocoa. But there's... something. A complex of multiple things, very subtle. I'd later learn this was tea and hibiscus. It could have been turmeric and turpentine for all I could tell; they're so muted. But it *was* pleasant.
Is the little blend of almost missed flavors enough to make this a repeat drink?

Nah. I think it would have benefited from those secondary flavors being brought forward more.

I'm happy to have sampled it, and I enjoyed drinking what I had, but no, I wouldn't buy one. I'd probably have a hit if it was given to me. Especially if it was from Mike... with that wink and nod.
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Iced Tea and Milk
Company
Kirin
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 1/25/19, 12:21 PM
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Nongfu Spring Tea Peach Oolong

Nongfu Spring Tea Peach Oolong
It's been a long time since I've drank anything with this much sugar in it. There is sugar, presumably cane sugar, and also honey which makes this peach oolong taste fantastic. Seriously, this was great. If it had half the sugar, it might be better. The honey adds more flavor than it did sweetness but man, this was good. The peach flavor was good. I might say that the sugar overpowered the child custody arm wrestling match against the oolong to the point where it was just a "tea base" instead of something truly distinguishable.

Would I get this again? I don't think so. I would recommend it with the caveat of, "If you like sweet tea, you will love this." but my palate doesn't really do so hot against drinks like this anymore. It doesn't hurt the review but it would count against me telling other people to get it. Seriously, though. If you like sweetened, flavored tea, get this. Get this and you'll never drink a Brisk raspberry again. I know peach and raspberries are different fruits but if you are looking to become a better person in society, this over that.
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
Nongfu Spring Tea
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 1/3/19, 6:33 AM
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Farmer Springs Milk Tea Matcha

Farmer Springs Milk Tea Matcha
Jay loves matcha. Why did I review this then? Don't ask questions. That's why.

This was purchased as a local Asian grocery store I tend to go to. I brought my son thinking he might like some different snacks and treats. For the record I thought wrong. I bought him a mochi ball and he didn't like it. I bought him a chunky juice and he didn't like it.

This was good but even in the small bottle there is no way I could finish it. It does taste like matcha but after a while, you eventually lose the green tea taste and it starts to taste like the milk at the end of cereal. Once again, not bad, but exhausting and sweet. Not tooth rottingly sweet but too sweet for me to drink even this baby bottle.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
Farmer Springs
Country
China
Sweetener
Fructose Syrup
Author
Mike Literman on 6/7/17, 6:40 AM
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Galco’s Pop Stop
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Hung Fook Tong Salted Mandarin Drink With Mandarin Pulps

Hung Fook Tong Salted Mandarin Drink With Mandarin Pulps
Man while I'm sitting back relaxing drinking my juice I can only think about how the rest of the world is full of suckers. They are all drinking regular orange juice and here I am living like a king drinking mandarin juice, and it even has pulp. I swear in some parts of the world this really would make me royalty. Mandarin juice is just so superior. It has its own unique taste, which still clearly being part of the orange family. Jim, you haven't had much to say about his. Actually why are you making a giant pile of salt out here on the back deck. Oh, you're saving up so you have a surplus next winter because you just want to spread it over the driveway so you never have to shovel? Well, I'm not sure if that will work, but I like the way you think, and I give you points for ingenuity. Why don't you pull yourself up a hammock and grab a nice glass of mandarin juice and take in a slice of the good life. Oh man, Jim! You've covered in salt and a bunch of it got into the juice. This is why no one likes you Jim; you ruin even the simplest of things.

You're still drinking the juice? Did you see how much salt dissolved in there? You say it's not that bad? Give it here! Actually you're right, this is not nearly as salty as I would have expected, and it gives the juice a certain charm. Actually no, I was wrong. One or two sips was okay, but the more I drink the more I notice the salt and it's kind of ruining everything, much like yourself. I feel like I might try putting a dash of salt into my next carafe of mandarin juice, but anything more than a pinch is just too much. I can't make it even a third of the way through this glass. Jim, you're lucky I'm not the king I previously pretended to be or else it would be off with your head!
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Chunky and Juice
Company
Hung Fook TongWebsite
Country
China
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 6/1/14, 10:40 PM
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Wahaha Russian Style

Wahaha Russian Style
Come on, dude. Let me down. I don't think that I deserve this. I swear I didn't steal that pack of gum. I've got like thirty dollars in my wallet. Why would I steal a one dollar pack of gum? Dollar fifty? Come on dude. This is a dollar gum and you know it. You're just ripping people off with that. I know people love it. It's a classic gum but that's no reason to overcharge just because you can. Let's just get back to the issue at hand here. Why am I being drawn and quartered? I told you I wasn't stealing that gum. I had some on me that you just so happen to be a brand you sell. Seriously, I'm telling you the truth. Man, this reminds me of that strange tea I had. What? Oh, now you're concerned about my opinion. Well I'll tell you but I would like you to let me go. I'll pay you double for the gum I didn't steal just so you let me down. This thing pulling me is getting quite uncomfortable.

Alright, so I met up with some friends and one gave me a tea that I couldn't read a single word to. Naturally I just drank it because I was thirsty. I took a sip and it tasted like someone poured jasmine tea into a beer and sweetened it with honey. I don't drink so this kind of took me for a loop. Why don't I drink? It's because I don't want to and don't think that I need to, that's why. Back to the tea, I love tea. I love it. When you pair it with beer, though, it goes down an infinite amount of pegs. When you have a nice jasmine tea sweetened with honey, though, it's a good thing. So I'm torn, much like I feel like my limbs are slowly ripping from my socket all over some stupid gum.

Oh, what? I don't know where it came from, maybe some Asian market. So what do you say, pal? Can you let me down? I've been good to you. I've promised you more money that you deserve. I've told you a tale of my past. How about you let me down? No? Well what do you want to talk about while my balls and sockets say goodbye? This is unbearable but I give you full credit for doing it with horses and not some medieval apparatus. Credit where credit's due, right?
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
WahahaWebsite
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 10/31/13, 2:51 PM
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Hung Fook Tong Qing Bu Liang Drink

Hung Fook Tong Qing Bu Liang Drink
On a recent trip to the Asian market Mark decided to get a bunch of things he had never heard of before to expand his palate's horizons. He picked up some job's tears seeds, fragrant solomonseal rhizome, lily bulbs, lotus seeds, longan, gordon euryale seeds, and coastal glehnia root. He was so proud of his haul that Mike went right home and set out to make supper. That is where the troubles arose. No matter what he did with any of these ingredients the results were not very tasty. He tried to make tofu, pasta and even went as far as sprinkling them on toast. All were a no go.

It was in a moment of frustration that Mark decided to juice boil all of the ingredients together along with some rock sugar he had inexplicably laying around. He decided that a tea would be his last ditch effort. In the final moments of the game, he finally got his break. It tasted decent hot, but he decided to put it on ice and see what he had. Once cold his “tea” took on a new life. It was fairly sweet in the way that only rock sugar can make things. He's still convinced it's just rock candy ground up. It tastes about the same. Everything else just kind of blended together in a way that he could only racially describe as Asian. The flavor of this tea is just not naturally found in the Western world. It's hard to explain, but it tasted decent enough, so he drank it and was glad that his ingredients went to some productive use. It will be quite some time before Mark goes out and blindly buys unheard of ingredients again.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
Hung Fook TongWebsite
Country
China
Sweetener
Rock Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 9/17/13, 9:53 PM
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Cheng Kang Strawberry Soybean Drink

Cheng Kang Strawberry Soybean Drink
Do you remember when you were a kid and Strawberry Quik was one of the best things ever? Well, this is the soy version of that. Okay, you caught me. I am a liar. This wishes that it was the soy version of that. Actually I believe that at some point in its creation that is exactly what it might have been but then things went wonky. It tastes like they had two vats, one filled with soymilk and another filled with sweetened strawberry flavoring. I can only imagine that they meant to water down the soy vat to make it slightly less soy-y, but someone at the factory messed up and watered down the flavoring instead. The result was a beverage that tasted very strongly of soy and not as boldly of strawberry.

Instead of this tasting like nice strong strawberry milk it ended up tasting like the soymilk left over after a bowl of Frankenberry. I don't think anyone wants this.
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Milk and Soy
Company
Cheng Kang
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 8/13/13, 9:44 PM
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Master Kong Honey Jasmine Iced Tea

Master Kong Honey Jasmine Iced Tea
Honey jasmine, you say? No English on the bottle, you say? Hmm. Well...I'll take it! I'll take that and I'll take a delicious bahn mi. Now I will sit here and insult fourteen year old boys for not knowing about sriracha. I will talk about bands he hasn't heard of while listening to bands he hasn't heard of. I will take him through some rough streets whilst making jokes about adultery.

How do I feel about you? Well, I have mixed emotions about you. You are a good tea but you have your issues. You have a good, floral taste and you actually have that lovely bite from the green tea. You taste of jasmine and green tea and for that I applaud you. You are penalized for adding far too much sugar. It tastes like good sugar, but it is too much sugar. For that I do that thing where I rub my fingers in that "shame on you" or "tisk tisk."

All in all, we have insulted a kid for things you had no idea existed until you were well over his age and drank a decent tea. I'm not a betting man but I would have to say that you will have better days than this.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
Master KongWebsite
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 8/2/13, 4:19 PM
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Oriental Leaves Farmer

Oriental Leaves Farmer
This is a nice bottle of tea. Perfect for all occasions. The only catch is that everything is in Chinese and there is no telling what is in a bottle of "Farmer" flavored tea. Hey, I'm just telling you what Google Translate is telling me and they told me that this is made up of ground up farmers.

If I may say so, farmers don't taste so bad. They're one with the earth. They probably aren't too many degrees away from tea. You and I, city folk, we're further. We're closer to things like plastics and rubber.

This tastes like a pretty generic black tea. Generic, safe, good quality, and foreign: a good combination. I would take unsweetened black tea from a Chinaman before I would take it from a Yankee. Is that racist? Call in the feds on this one. I think I'm in the right here.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
Oriental Leaves
Country
China
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Mike Literman on 7/10/13, 4:48 PM
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Hung Fook Tong Imperatae Cane Drink

Hung Fook Tong Imperatae Cane Drink
Is it possible to strain a liquid through a liquid? I suppose it would be. If you wanted to strain water through an oil, that would work. It's a matter of volume and separation. You may have to go through some sort of skimming process to take a layer off, but that works.

This drink, which sucks, tastes like you strained sweet tea through soup; iced tea through all the corn, peas, carrots, broth and the like. I gave this drink to our new employee slash my new coworker and she knocked it out of the park. I made her just smell it and she said that it smelled like water chestnuts and me, hating water chestnuts, am not too familiar with the scent. Number two ingredient after water? You guessed it, new girl: water chestnuts.
You're re-hired™. Take that, Donald Trump. I've coined my own phrase that people have been using for years and called it my own.
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
Hung Fook TongWebsite
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar Cane
Author
Mike Literman on 3/4/13, 3:18 PM
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Amazon.com
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Hung Fook Tong Pear Tea Drink

Hung Fook Tong Pear Tea Drink
Hey Rog, I think you forgot something. No you definitely shut the stove off, and yes you remembered to feed the cats. What you forgot was to add the pears to this tea. I'm pretty sure you remembered to put everything else in, but I don't taste even a splash of pear in here. It's got that herbal, almost licorice, flavor that the wolfberry fruit, euphoria longan, coastal glehnia root and balloonflower root give it. I don't know why we put all of those things in an iced tea, but it does give it a different taste. It's also has that weird rock sugar sweetened flavor. I always thought that was an odd choice for a sweetener, to melt down rock candy. All of that stuff is there, but no pear whatsoever. You really must have forgotten to add it.

I know I'm not supposed to be drinking the product while working on the line, but hey I'm thirsty and I like to think I'm working quality control. Wait, why are you on the phone? You're seriously calling security on me? For drinking one bottle of tea in the 35 years I've worked here? You're a real jerk Rog. I hope your cats got annoyed at you always forgetting to feed them and they turned the stove back on and escaped out a window before burning your house down. That's what jerks like you deserve.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
Hung Fook TongWebsite
Country
China
Sweetener
Rock Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 2/13/13, 10:45 AM
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Hung Fook Tong Grosvenor Momordica Fruit Drink

Hung Fook Tong Grosvenor Momordica Fruit Drink
What can I say about the grosvenor momordica that hasn't been said a million times before? I mean it is the most common foodstuff on this planet we call Earth. I can't remember a day when I didn't wake up in the morning and pour myself a large bowl of grosvenor for breakfast. Well I must have been but a wee child the last time I went without it.

For those of you who are visiting from other planets or galaxies I will do my best to describe this most familiar of foods. I mean how does one describe something that is as common as water? It is a fruit that grows on a vine that, and it is said to be 300 times sweeter than sugar, but it is naturally low in calories. You may also know it by it's more commonplace name: monk fruit. When it's made into a drink like this one it is typically mixed in with some liquorice root. The result is a beverage that is fairly sweet, but tastes like a watered down throat coat tea. I can't believe I actually typed all of that out since you all obviously know exactly what it tastes like. I'm sure the mental image I painted left your mouth watering and you made your way to the pantry to prepare yourself a nice little snack that will give you the comfort of your childhood blankie.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Juice and Other/Weird
Company
Hung Fook TongWebsite
Country
China
Sweetener
Extract of Grosvenor Momordica Fruit
Author
Jason Draper on 1/6/13, 11:24 AM
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Fuzhou Olive

Fuzhou Olive
I found this drink once before and did not buy it because it was two years expired. It sought me out and demanded I drink it. Now, I found this and my heart dropped because I thought this was going to be the drink to "do it." What do I mean by "do it?" Why, throw up, of course. I put this in the fridge today in anticipation of possibly doing it, but I'm a Thirsty Dude, I have to drink everything. This is part of everything, ergo I have to drink it.

First sip was a tiny sip. If this were going to make me sick, the sip I took would have warned my body that terror was about to strike. It was prefacing my body to prepare for the onslaught that was about to come. My poor body. It probably hates me. I throw absolute garbage at it every day and it does me pretty well.

I was surprised, though. It was not poison but an almost drinkable beverage. If you can imagine a green olive inside a lemonade, that would be this. A kid martini. It tasted a lot less like a green olive than I was expecting. I'm not drinking more than 10% of this as I still fear it but I conquered it nonetheless.

In closing I will tell you what it says on the front and you can determine for yourself if what I said matches the companies statement on said drink:
"A wonderful gift bestowed by nature with a distinctive flavor"
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Juice and Other/Weird
Company
FuzhouWebsite
Country
China
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Author
Mike Literman on 12/19/12, 4:19 PM
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Lucozade Energy Tropical

Lucozade Energy Tropical
For those of you, like myself, who were unimpressed by the original flavor of Lucozade I urge you to try their tropical variety. While the sugar water taste of the original in just there, not offensive or great, this type I would actually go out of my way to drink. It has a nice passionfruit and pineapple combination of a taste to it. I expected it to taste like one of the more flavorful Gatorades, as to be comparable to their flagship flavor, but this is like a completely different product. It's very sweet, but sometimes that is exactly what you're looking for in a drink.

This is marketed as an energy drink, but as far as I can tell the only things in here that would give you energy are sugar and caffeine. In reality it's as much of an energy drink as a can of Coke. I guess that's way healthier than the amount of chemical junk Americans put in their bodies in the name of being a little more awake.

One great thing about this label is that it is made in China, but the text is half in English and half Spanish. A lot of the text is there in both forms, but there is some that is only in one of the languages. It's not a big thing at all, but for some reason it made me laugh.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement and Energy Drink
Company
LucozadeWebsite@LucozadeUK
Country
China
Sweetener
Glucose Syrup
Author
Jason Draper on 12/16/12, 1:48 PM
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Oriental Leaves Jasmine Tea

Oriental Leaves Jasmine Tea
Would you just look at that bottle? Is that the classiest looking bottle of iced tea you have ever seen, or what? It's just a normal plastic bottle, but the shape and the cleanness of the design make it look much greater than it is. Little kids would look at this and think to themselves, “That looks like it is for grownups. I bet it burns like grandpappy's juice.” I assure you the contents of this bottle are nothing like your grandfathers private stock, well unless your grandfather is a collector of fine teas. Those kids were right though. I bet if you gave this to 100 kids maybe 2 or 3 of them would enjoy it. It's an unsweetened jasmine green tea, so it's slightly bitter and tastes of flowers; two flavors kids tend to not like. It is what I like though. The jasmine flavor is just right. It's not overpowering like some of Oriental Leaves' competitors drinks are. This just hints at the floral and lets the green tea do most of the work. It's tastes like a dream, and it makes me feel like more of a grown up than I will ever actually be. Oh, did I mention that I'm 33 and I spent more than 60 hours over the past two weeks playing Final Fantasy X? That's right I spent more time playing a video game than most people work in a week. At least I get to pretend to be an adult sometimes.
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
Oriental Leaves
Country
China
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Jason Draper on 12/10/12, 9:47 PM
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Hung Fook Tong Xia Ku Cao Common Selfheal Fruit-spike Drink

Hung Fook Tong Xia Ku Cao Common Selfheal Fruit-spike Drink
We recently realized that a handful of our friends haven't really hung out in awhile. As a result Saturday afternoon was a dudes hang of gluttony. We started it off with the dirt mall aka flea market where we sifted through piles of people's garbage looking for a clock for Mike whilst eating soft pretzels, hot dogs, cinnamon rolls and a single cannoli. From there we went to look for a coat for Mike deep in the bowels of hell and come up empty handed. Then we went to another circle of hell that is more commonly known as Guitar Center so I could try out an amp that I thought (correctly) that I wanted. The important part came next. We hit up a few Asian markets for groceries and new drinks. I bought such a variety of weird tofu that I couldn't be happier. Our main market also got a new shipment of drinks and this was one of them.

I have no idea what “common selfheal fruit-spike drink” is, but it sounded more interesting than I could handle. As soon as we walked out I ripped this bad boy open and we all shared it. We all decided that it was okay, but that is had a decent licorice aftertaste, and I'm not talking about Twizzler. Along with never hearing of the fruit that is the namesake of this beverage it also contains grosvenor momordica fruit, that I'm sure 99.54% of American have never heard of as well. Along with that there are dates in here. When mixed together these ingredients have a taste that is something between a sweet tea and a flat herbal root beer (minus the wintergreen). At first I thought this was great, but with each sip my interest wanes. BY the end I really had lost all interest in it. From the name I'm assuming that there is some medicinal properties to this drink, but who knows since the label is in Chinese.

After our shopping spree we decided it was time for a yearly trip to the only sit down chain restaurant that is worth a damn: Chilis. Their real food is nothing to write home about, but they have incredible unsweetened blackberry and mango teas. Also the endless chips and salsa are enough for us to go gaga. You should have seen how many baskets of chips we housed. Mama would have been proud.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Other/Weird and Iced Tea
Company
Hung Fook TongWebsite
Country
China
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 11/5/12, 9:06 PM
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Amazon.com
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Uni-President Starfruit (carambola)

Uni-President Starfruit (carambola)
Oh big man. Yeah. You're a big man with a juice box. Look at you. You look ridiculous. You driving a Harley Davidson motorcycle, have a giant beard, and have a full time job as a lumberjack is completely negated because you are drinking a juice box. Look, I'm a librarian and I'm standing up to you. I am five foot two and you are easily a foot and a half taller and I feel confident standing up to you.

What are you even drinking there? Starfruit juice? Man! What a sissy! Can you believe this dude? Oh, you want me to try it? Yeah, dude. I'll crush this thing. Juice. Who cares. All day I'll drink this. Oh...oh man...what is this? This isn't starfruit. It's like a fruit that you meant to put sugar on but didn't know which container had the sugar and which had the salt and you made a terrible mistake. This tastes like salty fruit. Like that acceptable amount of salt in a Gatorade blown way out of proportion. Ugh, and you're just drinking this stuff? You really are a big man. I'm sorry about those things that I said. Drink boxes are secret recepticles that hide mystery drinks. My hat off to you. You are truly a manly man.
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Juice
Company
Uni-PresidentWebsite
Country
China
Sweetener
Couldn't Read Ingredients
Author
Mike Literman on 6/19/12, 2:57 PM
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Kowloon Vegetarian Plum

Kowloon Vegetarian Plum
There is an ex-construction, current architect in the office and I made him drink this. He was unsuspecting and this caught him off guard. Want to know why? It's completely disgusting. Reason I bring up his current and past job experience is that he described it as old oak. That man knows a thing or two about wood. Another dude here who is not an ex-construction or current architect described this to taste like a burning house. I'm drinking something that has everything to do with smoking and flames and wood. In China, this is what they drink. Now I don't know how frequently they are doing this, but come on. Who is really drinking this? It's complex as heck but there is no great payoff. If you had juice, burned a piece of wood in a bonfire, took that piece of wood out and marinated it in the juice and then drank the juice, that's what I am drinking.

Please. Someone. I know that people from China read this blog. I check the analytics and although it's not a great number, we do have traffic from China. Explain to me either here or via our contact form what is appealing to you about these plum/prune drinks. I can't wrap my head around it.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Juice
Company
Kowloon
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 3/26/12, 10:06 AM
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Cici Aloe Jelly Drink

Cici Aloe Jelly Drink
I do believe that giving this to an expecting person would very likely result in your shoes and shirt being covered in vomit. It looks like it should be a foreign take on the juice box, which it essentially is. The thing is that not only does this have chunks of aloe in it, but it also has bits of nata de coco. I imagine someone taking a big squeeze of it into their mouth, expecting juice city, and then they are greeted with a mouthful of slime and chunks. It's a chunk overload and I absolutely love it. I'm actually skeptical to call this a drink because there are so many chunks that it's more like a semi-solid.

Let me break it down this way. This is basically a blood bag filled with apple juice with aloe sludge in it that is peppered with bits of nata de coco. It tastes exactly like someone mixed some plain flavored aloe juice with some apple juice. This is so much better than it should be.
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky and Jelly
Company
CiciWebsite
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 1/12/12, 10:56 PM
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Clic Sparkling Water Beverage Mango

Clic Sparkling Water Beverage Mango
Before I even begin to think about describing the flavor of this drink I have to mention the packaging. Is it necessary? I don't know, but I can tell you that it is really, really cool, even if it is a bit impractical. It's like someone took a 20oz bottle, but it in half and put the top of a can of pop on top to seal the goodness in. I really don't see any benefits of this, besides looking awesome. The joy of plastic is that it is resealable, which this is not. Also, I don't know how well it would work for stacking the cans. It seems like they would fall over a lot easier with that bottom. Oh well, I'm not a stock boy so it's not my problem. I'll just sit back and admire the strangeness of it.

Now on for the purpose of this site, to let the public know how different beverages taste. I shockingly really enjoyed this. Flavored sparkling water isn't really my forte (I can't stand the seltzer taste), but I guess when you add a bunch of sugar to a carbonated water it technically becomes a pop. This tastes like a very light pop that actually tastes just like mangoes. There is no seltzer flavor in this can at all. My only issue is that by the time you get towards the bottom of the bottle/can (should we embrace "bottan" or "cannle" for it's name?) you get a slight hint of the aspartame that is hiding towards the bottom of the ingredients list. Other than that this is great with about half the sugar of normal soda.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Sparkling and Water
Company
ClicWebsite
Country
China
Sweetener
Fructose
Author
Jason Draper on 11/30/11, 8:12 PM
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