China - 31 Reviews

For years I've trudged across this planet in search of a holy grail of sorts. No not Ecto Cooler (well I have been looking for it, but I can buy expired stuff on eBay), what I speak of is the elusive cantaloupe juice. Why can't I find it? I'm beginning to thin that it just doesn't exist which is ridiculous because cantaloupes are super juicy and messy to eat. Someone needs to harness that power so I can enjoy a nice tall glass of it.

On my last trip to Toronto I found this in an Asian market and I briefly thought my arduous trip had come to an end. That full melon sure looks like cantaloupe, but on closer inspection the slice is green and very obviously honeydew. Drats. I have nothing against honeydew, but you have to admit it's doesn't come close to touching cantaloupe. That being said this is one heck of a drink. Even though the ingredients list it as "melon flavor" I sure thought it was actual honeydew juice. It taste exactly like biting into an extremely ripe melon that has been soaking in sugar water. The aloe chunks in it are great. It's easy to forget that they are aloe and not melon pulp. Oh man cantaloupe juice with pulp in it would be a dream come true. Until someone gets up the guts to make the worlds best juice looks like I'll have to settle for these little cans of awesome.

For the past couple of days my cat will not leave my lap. She goes through phases where she completely ignores my existence and then in the blink of an eye she needs all the attention in the world. I'm okay with that. I like giving her attention, well except when she insists on sitting directly in front of my computer monitor staring at me when I'm trying to get work done. I love when she's a lap cat. It's comforting, especially now that the weather is starting to cool down and Fall is right around the corner. This tea is also comforting. There's something about jasmine tea that just calms me down. The effect is greater when the tea is hot, but even when it's iced it does it's job. I think this may be the first jasmine tea I've had that has vitamin C added to it. It very subtly effects the flavor, but it's in a good way. It still has the great jasmine aftertaste, which I love.

Now I'm going to sit on my couch with my cat and this bottle of tea and read like a nerd. Yes I am fully aware that when I get old I will be the male equivalent of the crazy cat lady.

I can't believe a year has passed already. The happiest time of the year is upon us again. The week when the local ice cream parlor has apple flavored soft serve. I dream about this moment all year long. The way the apple compliments the ice cream is astounding. Seriously it haunts my dreams on lonely February nights. I've tried making it myself but it never turns out right. Actually it's usually down right disgusting when I try to make it. What's that I've been rambling on for so long that my ice cream has melted all over my shoes? Dagnabbit! Looks like the dog is in for a treat. No time for napkins, I'll just like the melted mess off of my hands while you order me another. Hmmm this tastes exactly like that apple milk they has down at the Asian market. It's creamy and appley. The apple is on the verge of tasting like sour apple, but it doesn't go quite that far. I wonder if I mixed some of that in with my ice cream if it will taste as good as it does here. That would be wonderful wouldn't it? To be able to have this wonderful flavor all year 'round would be a dream. What's that, my second one has melted? I really must learn to shut up.

Did you know that the only things that vegans consume are leaves and bark? It's true, just ask Derek. When a vegan works up a hunger they scamper out into the woods and fill up their satchel with some nice leaves and bark. Then they bring them home and make a nice sandwich out of them. Don't worry they aren't murderers; they only eat the leaves on the ground and the bark from fallen or dead trees.

Okay that may have been stretching the truth, but I have had basically that conversation verbatim with a woman in a restaurant before. She really believed everything I mentioned above to be true. Some people are just complete idiots.

While vegans don't solely consume those things, there are people out there who eat sticks. I know because all three of us here at Thirsty Dudes did just that a couple of weeks ago. We were in a local natural foods store and on the counter they had a jar of licorice sticks. They were exactly that: sticks from a licorice plant. We were interested. We each bought one and chewed on them for about a half hour. It was actually tasty until they started falling apart in our mouths.

This tea tastes like someone brewed some black tea, added a whole lot of milk and sugar and then drank it while chewing on one of those sticks. There are a whole bunch of other herbs in it as well, but all I can taste in the licorice and I like it....a lot.

That's it! I've just come to a firm conclusion that I am not a fan of lemon in iced tea, or ice tea as this drink is called. I don't know if I really like lemon in anything other than lemonade to be honest. More times than naught it'd presence also brings a thought of cleaning products. In iced tea it generally makes me feel like I have a nice tall glass of tea that is sitting in the open and I dust my apartment with lemon Pledge and I accidentally spray the Pledge into my glass. For those of you who are into that sort of thing I really think this tea would be right up your alley. It has a good black tea taste and the lemon actually does taste more like fruit than cleaner, but not enough to satisfy me.

Master. I obey you. I will attend to your every request. I will wait on you hand and food. Master, what do you mean that's not necessary? Of course it is. Your name is Master Kong, right. I'm not barking up the wrong tree. I saw the name with vinyl graphics on the door clearly state that your name was Master Kong. Since you're the only person in here and you're not cleaning up like some sort of maintenance man, I can only assume that you are Master Kong, my master.

I'm sorry, what? You're not my master? Did your parent's name you that? I've got to say, it's pretty rad. Can I get up off the floor? My knees are hurting from bowing to you for the last twenty minutes. Thanks, Master. Can I call you, Kong? Since you're not my master, I don't really feel right calling you Master any more. It's like someone called "Daddy" who I have to call by his name who isn't my daddy. It's strange.

I walked by something earlier and it said you were the Master of tea. That's a strong statement. You make tea? Can I try some? Thanks. Holy crap...you are indubitably the master of tea. This is delicious. It's sweet, a little bitter, and clearly sweetened with honey. It's so light that you can taste everything you put in here. You, sir, are a wonderful and worth of your name. I'll take a case of it, a big case. Oh, that's too big. I drive an Isetta.

Yang-mei is the official name for yum-berry. This is my first adventure in a straight up yum-berry beverage, and I have to tell you I'm not that impressed. It tastes like a foreign fruit punch. Does that make sense? Is that racist somehow? I don't know and I don't really care. It's insanely sweet. I can't even drink this entire 17oz bottle in one sitting. This is my third attempt at it. I think I'm looking at two more. I even had to check to make sure it wasn't a concentrate. It's not, just tons of sugar was involved with it's creation.

You know how you have a grandma? I love my gramma. She makes the best cookies. It's a shame they had to juice her to make this drink. As you know, I am foolin' 'round here. Lychee is a strange fruit to me. Sometimes I like it and sometimes I loathe it. It's a fruity, nutty flavor that is very strong. Combined with the nata de coco and the fact that this juice is in a pouch, it had to be done.

It is actually one of the better lychee drinks I've had and if you like lychee, you should try it. There are about 1,000,000 chunks per sip (cps) so if you aren't a fan or you don't think you can look past them, perhaps the Maaza lychee juice is more your speed. Think of this drink as a poorly pureed, homemade lychee juice.

Honestly, for $0.60, you can't really lose, and there are more that I will probably try in the upcoming months. As if it needs to be said, I got this at an Asian market.

Here we go with another one of these Cici drinks. It's basically a candied mango flavored Capri Sun that has nata de coco and jelly thrown into it. I thought the first one was kind of fun to drink, but by the time I got to this one, the novelty had worn off. I like stuff in my drinks, but the consistency of the jelly just seems wrong. I would have been fine with it just being the nata de coco. It's a drink for kids. They would love this. I bet they would be the envy of the lunchroom if they brought one of these in. They could easily trade it for a half dozen bologna sandwiches.

Mike wasn't really into the Cici drink he had, but I think this is fun. It's not something that I want a lot, but it's a nice treat. It has both jello and nata de coco in it. It's actually more of a dessert than a beverage. It's not really very fluid. It's more of a liquid jello with nata de coco in it. It has a pineapple taste, but it doesn't taste exactly like a pineapple. That's my only real complaint.

Woah jelly. Get it? Like "Woah Nelly," the debut album from Nelly Furtado. Get it? Hilarious. I'm hilarious. I also write all my own jokes. Ladies, seriously, I'm a gem.

This is a strange drink. Do I need to say that? It comes in a bag like a Capri Sun except with a pre-installed straw. Nice of Cici to do so. Thanks, Cici. This drink has nata de coco but it is more like an aloe vera than, say a
Mogu Mogu drink. It's also way less "stingy" than that but, in exchange, way more potent. Almost like a strawberry perfume. Something girls would wear in 4th grade to attract boys, even though 4th grades should spend more time on long division and less time on perfume and boys.

Alas, this is not a great drink. I'm no yuppie, but I find this drink uncivilized. Kids though? Kids would/should/do (probably) love this stuff. You can too for the ultra low price of around 70 cents. They have a lot of different flavors, too, and multipacks with a couple in it. This of them like juice-boxes, in bags, with chunks, built in straws, and less good.