Milkshake - 38 Reviews

Odwalla Almond Milk Shake Snickerdoodle

Odwalla Almond Milk Shake Snickerdoodle
You call it snickerdoodle. I call it horchata. This is tastes more like the traditional beverage than it does a fancy cookie I would spend far too much money on in a coffee shop in the late 90s. The difference s is that Instead of rice it's made from almonds and pea protein. It's a tad sweeter than I wanted, but it is flavorful. It goes beyond the "this tastes like the milk left over after I ate cereal" I into more of its own thing. It's vanilla. It's cinnamon. It's almonds. It's quite tasty.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Milkshake
Company
OdwallaWebsite@odwalla
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 10/24/17, 6:24 AM
Share
Direct Link

McDonalds Milk Shake Chocolate Shamrock Shake

McDonalds Milk Shake Chocolate Shamrock Shake
No one in the car? We can get away with something. A milkshake from McDonald's the perfect sneaky treat. I've been cooking fantastic meals from Blue Apron that take me between 45 minutes and an hour to make and I snuck out to get a milkshake. Not just any milkshake but a Shamrock Shake and not just any Shamrock Shake but a chocolate Shamrock Shake. I get it and it looks 50% great. There is a little whipped cream with a cherry and some green, festive, seasonal sparkley sprinkles. Then we get to the meat of the shake...pause for dramatic effect.

Why is this layered? Why is this layered like this? I mean, they came out with a cool straw that was made to drink from two points at a time. What happens if you have a regular straw? It's not a chocolate Shamrock Shake as much as it is a half chocolate and half Shamrock shake. Unless you mix them up yourself, which I didn't, you have to drink through each flavor. I just thought that was strange and wrong. Like when my brother wore seven pairs of underwear at a time so that he could take off the outside pair and not have to put on new underwear for a week. Pause for applause...
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Milkshake
Company
McDonaldsWebsite@McDonalds
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Author
Mike Literman on 3/2/17, 11:30 AM
Share
Direct Link

Nutrisystem Nutricrush Chocolate Shake Mix

Nutrisystem Nutricrush Chocolate Shake Mix
Round two of the 2017 Shake It Off Challenge has begun, and I have to say I think we have a contender on our hands. Nutrisystem is a long running company and they have had that time to perfect the “diet' shake powder. This is downright delicious. This is the kind of thing that would make dieting easy. I'm not even on a diet and I want to drink these all of the time because it tastes great and there is no guilt in consuming it. What other chocolate beverage can say that?

It is ridiculously creamy and it tastes like decent chocolate, not like garbage chocolate that you would swear is actually more plastic than food. There is some stevia and monk fruit extract in here as well as fructose to sweeten it, but none of them interfere with the chocolate taste. That is a feat onto itself. The numbers for this are less than the Wonderslim. It has 13g of sugar with 150 calories, but with this you will recognize the names of more of the ingredients, and you can't argue with that flavor. I personally feel much better drinking this than the competitor.

We have one more contestant in this game. Will Nutrisystem remain on top, or will they be ousted? Only time will tell.
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Diet, Milkshake and Mix/Concentrate
Company
NutrisystemWebsite@Nutrisystem
Country
United States
Sweetener
Fructose
Author
Jason Draper on 1/17/17, 11:43 AM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Twix

Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Twix
Twix, a cookie not a candy bar, is a wonderful cookie not a candy bar. Carmel, crunch, caramel and chocolate. If we're talking about "The Four C's," screw diamonds, dude. Twix is where it's at. How is this though? Sweet. I don't even know after all these years if there is any coffee in iced cappuccino, or as we in Western New York like to call them, "Iced Capps," anymore. They might be but it's so overpowered by sugar and cream and now cookie crumbles that what's the point anymore. This small was more than enough. There was probably the amount of a "fun size" Twix grinded up on the top which was fun to get through the straw at the end. The rest was just a sugary blur of cookie flavors and brown. I say that like it's a bad thing. Look, if you're the type of person to buy an iced cappuccino, you know what you're getting into and you know what you're doing to yourself. I'm not going to say it, but deep down you know what you're up to.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Coffee and Milkshake
Company
Tim Horton'sWebsite@TimHortonsNews
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Author
Mike Literman on 8/17/16, 11:29 AM
Share
Direct Link

Sneakz Strawberry Milkshake

Sneakz Strawberry Milkshake
For the life of me I have no idea why they have labeled this a milkshake. It's not thick. There is no ice cream involved. It's really just strawberry milk…€¦with a bunch of veggies added. To be clear they are veggies that you also cannot taste. They are hidden nicely in the mix. Also to be clear, this doesn't taste like Strawberry Quik either. It's a different beast that is close, but not quite the same. It really just tastes like what I imagine people thought strawberry milk tasted like before Quik was invented. Did it even exist before then though? Is this a chicken/egg or a music/misery type situation? I guess it doesn't matter. This tastes pretty good and you're getting some vitamins from veggies. Kids will love it.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Milk and Milkshake
Company
SneakzWebsite@sneakzorganic
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 7/25/16, 7:16 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Sneakz Vanilla Milkshake

Sneakz Vanilla Milkshake
A couple of years ago when Sneakz was launched, it was less than stellar. The vegetable taste seeped through too much and when mixed with chocolate it was like someone used Hershey syrup as salad dressing. The company realized the error of their ways and corrected their formula into something that was more than just passable. They also expanded their line to include strawberry and this vanilla.
I'm assuming they used the same basic principles they developed for the new chocolate version and applied them to vanilla because I don't taste vegetables in here at all. This is full of carrots, sweet potatoes, spinach and cauliflower but you would never know it by taking a sip. It's all vanilla, but not in a cheap ice cream kind of way. It tastes like actually vanilla beans were used. You can't ask for much more than that in a drink of this variety. You get ½ a serving of veggies and it tastes great. That's a win all the way around.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Milk and Milkshake
Company
SneakzWebsite@sneakzorganic
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 6/10/16, 7:53 AM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Organic Valley Organic Balance Milk Protein Shake Dark Chocolate

Organic Valley Organic Balance Milk Protein Shake Dark Chocolate
There are some things that John wanted to do differently. One thing was more "liquid meals." No, not alcohol like when people say, "Hey. Want to get a liquid lunch?" Just to be able to drink more meals and more rapidly turn into vitamins and minerals versus wasting calories with traditional food. Look, John likes pizza and tacos as much as the next guy. He can't keep doing that every day, though. He needs to supplement. John loves chocolate so he figured what better way to replace one meal that he loved with another flavor that he loved?

He bought a case of the Organic Valley Dark Chocolate protein shake and just started replacing. Day after day, meal after meal he found himself enjoying life more and more. He had more time to spend with friends since a meal now took him five minutes versus the hour it took him before. His bosses noticed his dedication and gave him a little raise. Everyone at work saw him as a hard worker and gave him the respect he deserved. He enjoyed the taste. It wasn't chalky like some other protein drinks he's had in the past. It's dark chocolate but just barely.

John has gotten what he wanted and more. He really stuck to it and learned a few things; You spend a lot of your life thinking about food and eating and Janet in accounting eats subs every day of the week and still looks fine.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Milk and Milkshake
Company
Organic ValleyWebsite@OrganicValley
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Unrefined Cane Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 2/23/16, 9:32 AM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Tim Horton's Creamy Chocolate Chill

Tim Horton's Creamy Chocolate Chill
I'm pretty sure this is the same as the Frozen Hot Chocolate but I will pretend that drink doesn't exist so I can review this limited time, Toronto based drink that I found.

This is basically a totally chocolate Iced Capp. Where there is some vague and minimal amount of coffee included in those, this is straight chocolate, son. Chocolate whipped cream and chocolate drizzlin's make this one Chocolageddon of a drink.

This drink isn't smooth, really. Not until you do all the work and blend the whippin's with the base and get something that is pretty smooth. Take note, Tim. That should be how this is done.

While I spend time with my dumb family in Toronto, I will be sure not to look back at this decision I made. Was it bad? No. It was guiltily delicious. It's like that time you were sixteen and J.O.'d like nine times. It was great but not really something you're proud of.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Milkshake
Company
Tim Horton'sWebsite@TimHortonsNews
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Not Listed
Author
Mike Literman on 10/3/15, 12:31 PM
Share
Direct Link

Burger King Oreo Shake Red Velvet

Burger King Oreo Shake Red Velvet
This is dumb, this whole thing. An Oreo milkshake is fine but I have this unrelenting anger towards red velvet because everyone's got such a boner for it. It's so dumb. Look, I went into this thing not really wanting it but getting it "for the site." I walk in and a dude is nickel and diming the cashier about something. I'm in the line and a dude is laughing because he asked for a cup and the lady said he could have water. Dude thought it was the funniest thing he's ever heard. Enjoy losing your legs due to "the sugar." Ten seconds later, that same dude is swearing at his girlfriend to go faster. The "best" thing that happened is that a boy, thirteen, ran in, sat next to me, took some fries off my tray and then proceeded to scream when his mom tried to get him to leave. She was a total saint and he was apparently mentally handicapped.

At the end of all that, I've got this dumb, pink milkshake that may or may not be a vanilla milkshake with red food coloring in it staring back at me. It's an Oreo milkshake. It was fine. It was nothing spectacular and if it hadn't been for this entire experience, AKA "the worst time I've ever had at Burger King" I might not have reviewed it at all. I hate you, red velvet.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Milkshake
Company
Burger KingWebsite@burgerking
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Author
Mike Literman on 6/23/15, 2:02 PM
Share
Direct Link

Yazoo Strawberry

Yazoo Strawberry
A. Excuse me. Yes, umm I don't mean to interrupt you but could you please tell me what they delightful pink beverage you are drinking is? I am from another country and I would love to try the local delicacies. You see I am a bit of a foodie and would love to try some of this.

B. This is a Yazoo.

A. Ohh, that sounds exotic! Is it infused with rose petals? Oh, oh is it some sort of exotic fruit that only grows locally?

B. It is flavored milk. It tastes like Strawberry Quik dude!
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Milk and Milkshake
Company
YazooWebsite@YazooMilkDrink
Country
United Kingdom
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 5/2/14, 11:13 AM
Share
Direct Link

Tim Horton's Frozen Hot Chocolate

Tim Horton's Frozen Hot Chocolate
Frozen hot chocolate is a real "stickin' it to the man" drink. It's as if Tim Horton's is saying, "Screw you, winter. You've pestered us long enough. Now look what we've done to your precious cold weather staple drink. How does that feel? Not good, right? Yeah. Now you know how we felt after your sub-zero temperatures. This is for all the times I had to scrape ice off my car windows while the temperature was in the negatives."

This drink is the eye-for-an-eye that you see in movies where the bad guy has at the good guy's partner and then, at the end, the good guy turns the tables and has a little fun with the bad guy until the cops come. The cops come, know the whole situation, pretend not to see the good guy hit the bad guy's hand with a hammer and then tells the good guy to hit the road and takes the bad guy off to jail.

I have to be honest here; I've already had two of these. They're that good. It's super creamy because they put half a pound of rich, chocolate whipped cream on top, which ends up melding in with the frosty treat beneath and smoothing the whole thing out. If you could envision what a chocolate mousse drink would taste like, this is it. They also put what they probably call "fudge" in it but is really only chocolate syrup. I'm not dismissing their efforts, but that's not fudge. Either way, everything mixed together or intentionally separated upon ordering is a delight that could be anyone's guilty pleasure because it's abominably terrible for you but seriously, you couldn't guess that something with a mound of rich chocolate whipped cream on it is going to be bad for you? Shame on you.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Milkshake
Company
Tim Horton'sWebsite@TimHortonsNews
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Author
Mike Literman on 5/1/14, 10:53 PM
Share
Direct Link

Core Power Natural High Protein Milkshake Honey

Core Power Natural High Protein Milkshake Honey
Do I need more protein in my diet? I don't know let me check the chart. I seem to be doing alright on fiber, attitude, body mass index, those are all alright. What else do we have here? Ice cream intake is low, oil pressure is good, Altitude is at an acceptable level, and the water level is up to the line. I don't see...oh here it is. Protein. Yeah, protein level is slightly below the line. Can't I just eat a chicken sandwich or something? No? Why not? They don't sell any here? This is a restaurant. What restaurant doesn't sell anything with chicken in it? No meat? At all? That's fine. I guess I'll have a salad then. No salad? You're a restaurant, right? You know what a restaurant is, right? What do you have here? Just drinks? Fine. I'll just look at the menu. Whatever. Whatever you have. Why did I come here? Didn't they have a menu outside that I could have looked at? I'm telling you, Times Square has changed. They were right?

Oh, thanks. What is this? Oh, a protein drink with honey in it? Seems like something you just whipped up. Thanks. You know what, though? It just tastes like milk with honey in it, which in itself is mildly refreshing. It's a protein drink, which is surprising because it doesn't taste like there is a bucket of sand in it. It's actually not bad. I would have enjoyed that chicken sandwich that I kind of developed a taste for but this is a close, I don't know, eighth, maybe ninth.

I don't know. That's a good question. Would I recommend this restaurant? You're going to hate me for saying this, but I'm still not convinced that this is an actual restaurant. How do you make ends meet? This place is like two thousand square feet and one block from Times Square. It's got to cost like ten thousand dollars a month to be here. You've got to be in cahoots with someone. Oh, that hit a nerve. No, look, I can see myself out. Thank you for the drink. I left a nice tip.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Milkshake and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
Core PowerWebsite@CorePower
Country
United States
Sweetener
Honey
Author
Mike Literman on 2/17/14, 11:43 AM
Share
Direct Link

Shakeology Chocolate

Shakeology Chocolate
I don't understand it, honey. Sammy just refuses to eat vegetables. I don't know what to do. I've taken away videos games, dessert, television, and his bike and he just won't eat them. What did you buy? A milkshake? Honey that sounds like a reward more than it does a punishment. It's got what in it? I don't know what any of that is. Ashwagandha? Cordyceps, Tulsi, Sacha Inchi, Spirulina? Are you just reading a Dr. Seuss book to me? You're making these words up, right? You're not. What do they do? They're healthy? Well I guess that's good to know. Now it's a milkshake. Isn't there a ton of sugar in it that's going to get him to bounce off the walls? Oh, it's made with Stevia? That's cool. Well I guess it all comes down to taste. How does it taste, honey. Oh, you made some? Thanks.

Honey. This...this isn't bad at all. I mean I can taste that something is up but our kid, let's be honest here, he's kind of an idiot. Right? You agree with me. I mean, who doesn't just eat vegetables and takes punishment after punishment. Peas never hurt anyone and corn is fantastic. Kids. Am I right? Can I have more of this? Yeah, I was worried that this would just taste like a gritty mess like protein drinks do but it actually tastes good. You made this with eight ounces of milk? Oh wow. That turned into like double that. Cool. He'll feel like he's getting a real treat but in reality, we're poisoning him with healthy stuff.

When he gets home we'll make him something like a hamburger with a side of green beans just so he thinks nothing is up and we'll serve it with this milkshake. He'll think he's pulling one over on us by not eating the green beans and just eat the hamburger and drink the milkshake. Never thought it would come to this but if I have to trick my dumb son into eating healthy, so be it. He'll learn when he's 300 pounds and constantly sweating like your uncle Larry. Yeah, I said it, honey. He's constantly sweating. Like you didn't know.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Milkshake, Mix/Concentrate and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
ShakeologyWebsite@shakeology
Country
United States
Sweetener
Stevia
Author
Mike Literman on 2/11/14, 4:43 PM
Share
Direct Link

Evolve Naturally Flavored Protein Shake Chocolate

Evolve Naturally Flavored Protein Shake Chocolate
You know that classic picture of the evolution of man? All I can picture is an updated version of it that depicts protein drinks. It starts off with just gross clumps of straight whey protein. Then it goes onto gross protein powder from the 80's. There are several different shots of various protein drinks that have risen to fame in the past decade or so. Then there is Muscle Milk. It stands tall, like the fully evolved man Darwin spoke of. To the left of that there is a smaller carton, but it is in an omnipotent glow. It is a carton of Evolve. Now that is advertising people. We should be getting paid to come up with this stuff. Instead I have a cat “ice gilling” me because I'm not letting him drink any of my beverage.

Evolve is based on the Muscle Milk formula, except that it is all-natural. It's sweetened with stevia and monk fruit, as well as cane sugar. Surprisingly you can only faintly taste the other sweeteners, and I probably wouldn't have noticed had I not read the carton. On top of all that it is gluten free, so all of you out there who suddenly suffer from wheat gluten allergies (something that I'm pretty sure didn't exist a decade ago, all hail the modern world and the way it mutates us) can have at it. Seriously, have at it. It's pretty tasty, and you look like you could do with a protein boost.
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Milkshake and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
EvolveWebsite@DrinkEvolve
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar -or- High Fructose Corn Sweetener
Author
Jason Draper on 9/4/13, 4:05 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Muscle Milk Protein Nutrition Shake Chocolate

Muscle Milk Protein Nutrition Shake Chocolate
Whenever I think about Muscle Milk all I can envision is a bunch of cows hanging out at Muscle Beach in Santa Monica just getting ripped. They are doing reps, they are doing sets and it is all for the tourists who watch from the other side of the fence. Seriously think about a cow bench pressing it's own bodyweight whist wearing a neon torn up tank top with a rad bandana on. I hope they have spotters. I wouldn't want any of them getting seriously injured.

Since the bottle clearly states that this contains no milk, and it is lactose free I can only assume that Muscle Milk is what those cows sweat out while they power lift on the beach. Obviously this flavor is the sweat from a brown cow. I never knew that sweat could be so thick. This actually tastes like high quality chocolate milk. You know the kind that someone actually melted chocolate into, instead of just mixing in a powder. It does a good job at not being chalky like protein shakes are prone to be. Now please sit back and giggle as you think about cows working out in the California sun.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Milkshake and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
Muscle MilkWebsite@MuscleMilk
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose
Author
Jason Draper on 8/5/13, 5:12 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Mix 1 Nutritional Shake Acai Pomegranate

Mix 1 Nutritional Shake Acai Pomegranate
Somewhere in some universe teenager me is watching modern day me and shaking his head. He's thinking what has my life come to that not only am I drinking nutritional shakes that are high in protein, but that I am doing so with it's intended purpose in mind. The idea of working out at a gym is laughable to the kid who talked his phys ed teacher into letting kids play hacky sack instead of working out. He's a kid who believed that all the exercise one needed in life could be had by skateboarding and wandering around in the woods with your friends. It is also the same kid who thought he could subside forever on tacos, Pop Tarts and Quaker granola bars.

Here are some words of wisdom for me of two decades past; when you get older life gets in the way, and you won't be in the woods nearly as much as you used to, or want to, and when there's no one else to skate with anymore, and you realize that you can in fact hurt yourself, you only get on a board a couple times a year. As far as the food goes, keep eating those tacos, but Pop Tarts are just gross and you know it. The only reason you eat them is because your mom keeps buying them. As for the granola bars, you'll upgrade to higher quality ones and still eat them on the regular. The point of all of this is that when you're in your mid thirties things will start to catch up with your body, and you'll realize that you're not a scrawny little kid anymore, and you really need to get some exercise, which also actually makes you feel good and helps with that stupid depression that lingered around for most of your life because of the dumb music you listened to. Okay, you'll still be listening to that same dumb music, and loving it just as much, but the physical activity helps counteract it, so you're not up until dawn every night doing absolutely nothing, and rarely seeing the sun.

Oh and while you're exercising to help make life more bearable (while listening to songs written in a minor key like a maniac) you might as well help your body recover by drinking some of these shakes. They do help, and nowadays they don't all taste like dust. This actually just tastes like something between a nice smoothie and a melting milkshake. You probably have no idea what pomegranate and acai are since it's the early/mid 90's where you are and they haven't invaded every facet of eating yet, but trust me…€¦you enjoy them. Well, maybe not acai too much, but when it's mixed with other stuff it's not bad at all. This doesn't taste overly like a protein drink at all, and it's nice that companies such as Mix 1 are expanding their lines into things other than chocolate, vanilla and strawberry banana. It's mellow. It's fruity. It's enjoyable.

Oh, and teenage self. Why don't you spend some of that time that you are awake all night and actually pick up that bass that's next to your bed? I know you think you're good, but I can tell you twenty years later you really should be much better than you are. As it is now, you're just faking your way through it, but hey at least we're still making music.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Milkshake and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
Mix 1
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 7/16/13, 6:56 PM
Share
Direct Link

Core Power Natural High Protein Milkshake Strawberry Banana

Core Power Natural High Protein Milkshake Strawberry Banana
Seeing as Derek is vegan and Mike doesn't believe in strenuous activity I have become the de facto protein shake reviewer here at the offices of Thirsty Dudes. Of course by offices I mean my computer room in my apartment, Mike's desk at his day job and wherever it is what Derek does his writing. We live the glamorous lives of the beverage reviewer and there is no one that can take that away from us.

I got done with my work for the day early, but no one else was around, so I decided to go on a bike ride. I meant to just ride around for an hour or so, and maybe check out some neighborhoods that I've never been to around my house. That led to a much longer ride that took me over nearly 30 miles of road. Did I mention it was ridiculously hot and humid as well? I don't know if I have ever sweat so much in my life. I was literally able to ring sweat out of my clothes after I got home. After bringing my bike into the house I dragged myself to the kitchen and grabbed this out of the fridge, because of course what you want when you're ridiculously dehydrated and are so tired that you don't think you'll be able to move much more is a nice milkshake that has bananas in it aka the worst fruit ever.

The protein gods were shining down upon me as this is the first beverage that I have ever had that contains banana that didn't taste exactly like the grossest of all fruit. This has more of a creamy base with a nice strawberry flavor added to it. It's light in flavor, but for some reason the banana flavor is hardly there. I certainly wish it would have been just strawberry in flavor, but I can't complain about the minimum banana that I was presented with. It's also sweetened with stevia, so perhaps it was that natural zero calorie sweetener that hid the banana for me. It also didn't end up tasting very diet at all. This was actually down right enjoyable for a protein drink. I'm sure I would have liked it even more had I had more moisture in my body.

Of course as soon as I was done with this I downed a gigantic coconut water to rehydrate. It took about a half hour after that for my muscles to work again and then I was ready for new adventures.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Diet, Milkshake and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
Core PowerWebsite@CorePower
Country
United States
Sweetener
Stevia Leaf Extract
Author
Jason Draper on 7/6/13, 3:56 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Mix 1 Nutritional Shake Blueberry Vanilla

Mix 1 Nutritional Shake Blueberry Vanilla
Sometimes your at a time and place in your life where your nutrition needs to come from a shake/liquid. Perhaps you work out a lot and need to replenish what you lost whilst getting ripped. Perhaps things were a bit more sinister and some creep punched you out of nowhere because he thought you were eyeing his lady friend when in face you were trying to watch The Simpsons in closed caption on the television that hung behind her at the bar. Perhaps you are just an idiot and thought, “Hey I saw them try to jump the Springfield Gorge on that episode of the Simpsons I watched at the bar last night in closed caption, I'm going to try to do the same at my local gorge, except I'm going to actually make it.” Of course you didn't make it. You haven't set foot on a skateboard since you were twelve and now you're paunchy and 34, so you no longer have teeth to eat solid foods.

Whatever your reason, If you're into the taste of blueberries and vanilla and the consistency of slightly liquidy yogurt, this drink may be for you. To be honest, I could use a whole lot more vanilla in here. Had they used the same vanilla that is in their straight up vanilla shake and just added some blueberries to this is would be pretty magical. Instead it has a general yogurtness to it, that I kind of disliked at first, but didn't mid after a couple of sips. The blueberry taste is right where I want it to be though, so that is also good. Overall this isn't bad, but it could have easily been made great as I mentioned above.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement and Milkshake
Company
Mix 1
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 6/24/13, 4:13 PM
Share
Direct Link

Sneakz Chocolate

Sneakz Chocolate
It just so happens that in this world not everyone is perfect. Sometimes you have a vision, but the way you execute it falls short. As you can read below, that was the case with Sneakz. They had the great idea of creating a beverage for kids that contained a whole mess of vegetables that they need in their diet, but wouldn't eat. People said that kids would never drink that, and that is when Sneakz said, “They will if we disguise it with chocolate!” So they did, but the flavor of the vegetables crept through and no one was happy.

Cut to a couple of years and a second chance later and Sneakz has sent us their reformulated shakes. I very distinctly remembered my last visit with “Bandit” and was not looking forward to it. The reason for that is that I am dumb and forgot that things can change. This is so much better than the old version. The chocolate flavor holds out and completely disguises the veggies. This is like dumping cheese on broccoli and brussel sprouts, except it is delicious and not as horrible for you. Seriously all I can taste is chocolate milk. They have cracked the code and they are exactly where they want to be (well except maybe with more sugar).


***********************************************************
OLD REVIEW
***********************************************************

Oh Bandit, you rascally fox. You are always trying to deceive kids by sneaking vegetables into places they don't belong. Those dumb kids. They will never suspect that there are vegetables inside their chocolate milk. That is, unless they are dumber than you think because it is quite apparent that something wrong is going on inside this juice box. Bandit, you have lost your touch with this one. You might be saving kids elsewhere in things like food but with this drink it is as if you are robbing a bank with no gun, mask, or charisma.

This drink for a split second tastes like a chocolate milk. One split second is all you get. Quickly your temporarily pleased palate is washed over clearly by some sort of tomfoolery. I cannot pinpoint it but it's between vegetable lies and protein drinky. Both of the latter being enemies of children.

Bandit, I don't want you to get in trouble with your boss Sneakz but I've got to fill out "sucks" on the comment card they gave me for you ability to deceive children with hiding goods inside of the bads. Better luck next time little fox. Now come over here and let me pet your little head. I've always wanted to pet a fox.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Milk and Milkshake
Company
SneakzWebsite@sneakzorganic
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Author
Mike Literman on 6/12/13, 3:00 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Mix 1 Nutritional Shake Strawberry Banana

Mix 1 Nutritional Shake Strawberry Banana
I have one simple request for the humans who populate this planet: Can we please just give up on bananas? Leave them to the chimps. We evolved from them; so let's get away from their favorite food as well. I know people are going to think it's a phallic thing, or that I have a problem with the texture, but those people are wrong. I'll eat cucumbers like a hand fruit all day long, and I have no problem with mushy foods. The way I incompetently make oatmeal makes it about the same consistency as them. The sad truth that people just need to accept is that bananas just taste disgusting. I don't get even a millisecond of enjoyment out of them. They even smell gross, like they are always in a state of decomposition. I know the potassium they provide is essential, but let's be honest science has progressed enough that we can get that vitamin in pill form without the grozz taste.

Mix 1 has joined the bastard fruit with a delicious one as is common in our culture. Strawberries are delicious, so of course people will use them to try and disguise the grossness of the banana, it's just too bad it never works and the precious strawberries are just wasted. This drink really has two strikes against it before I even tried it. Number one: it's a protein drink, which generally don't fare to well for the palate. I've already spent too much time on issue number two.

Upon trying this it was confirmed that I am not a fan. There is a decent strawberry flavor, and it has a nice sweetness. If it were just that then I think this would have been a pretty good protein shake, but that banana, that damn banana ruins it all. If you are a savage who has no taste buds and eat this green to yellow to brown fruit you just might enjoy this. Me, I'll be avoiding it.
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Milkshake and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
Mix 1
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 6/12/13, 2:58 PM
Share
Direct Link