Milk - 79 Reviews

We are lucky enough to have a McDonald's with a Playplace pretty close to our house. It's nice because when it's terrible outside it's close and my son loves it. He loves the slides and loves the tubes. We went only to discover that it's gone. They have since turned the Playplace into a dining area. Bummer. He and I both agreed that it was a bummer. We went in and decided since we made the drive we should at least get something to eat. I got a McGriddle, which was nothing short of a masterpiece, and my buddy got a parfait, which he might have taken three bites of.

I also got the "limited time only" Chocolate Covered Strawberry Frappe. I enjoy their frappes. This one though, I wish it wasn't a limited time so everyone could enjoy it. I mean it. This thing was great. It had tons of whipped cream with strawberry sauce on it atop of a strawberry chocolate frosty treat. The icing on the cake? Chocolate chips jammed all upside in it; Little bits here and there of fantastic, chocolaty goodness.

I really liked it. It was sweet it really tasted like strawberries and it was just something wonderful. Which brings me to the painful reality that is real life. I opened the door and my buddy was splashing around in a puddle, which I naturally disapproved of. I put the parfait and the frappe, two rhyming foods, on the roof while I got him in the car and in the split second it took me to do it, a gust of wind came from the heavens and knocked my food off the roof. "Son of a gun!" I exclaimed. It was alright. I got him in the car. Then, as luck, which I do not believe in, would have it, another gust of wind came and blew everything off the roof again. My mistake. Happens once; fool on you. Happens twice; fool on me. Then, a 180 happened when I saw none other than The Hamburglar. Everything was instantly fine again and I got to teach my little buddy who the Hamburglar was. An important lesson a father can pass down to his son.

Some people enjoy things like lavender or chamomile to calm them down but something about this drink is really putting the relax into me.

It is a good split between milk, smooth and Earl Gray, a pretty neutral tea. Lightly sweetened and placed gingerly into a baby carton, this drink provides countless minutes of sipping pleasure. It's not bitter, not too sweet, and is a good blend of everything that you would want in a milk tea, if you have ever heard of milk tea before and craved it. Hey, I've had stranger cravings for things.

Like I said, this is a relaxing, smooth drink that is meant to be sipped on your front porch, back porch, beachfront property or anything in between. I am very relaxed drinking it. Either that or the fact that I'm listening to Das Racist "Relax."

John left from a long day of work and he was exhausted. He looked out the window of his of car and it was snowing and he knew that his day was not over because he knew before he was going to be able to kick off his shoes and sit down he was going to have to shovel. He didn't hate shoveling but after a long day of work, he just wanted to relax. He pulled up to his driveway and saw the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Someone had plowed his driveway. He had no idea who it could have been. He ran inside to get a gift and started knocking on his neighbor's doors to see if he could find out who it was.

He went to one neighbor who owned a plow but he wasn't home. He went to another house and his wife answered the door. John asked if her husband was home and she said that he was and went to go get him. A short moment later he came to the door. John asked him if he plowed his driveway and he told him that he did.

John was so thankful he nearly hugged the guy. He held back and thanked him graciously and handed him a carton of a drink. The man asked what the drink was to which John replied, "It's milk tea." The man didn't know what to think and John said that it was a great secret that he would pick up at Asian markets every once in a while and he thought that he would thank him with it. The man thanked him and asked if he wanted to split it with him. John said he would and they both went into the house.

The man poured the drink into a glass for him and drank out of the carton himself. He took a small sip and then took a larger sip. He told John that he liked it. He said that it tasted like a cup of tea with some sugar and milk in it and that it was so simple it made it even better. He said that the milk kind of disguised the actual tea flavor but that it was still good and he was happy he knew that this new product existed.

John and the man finished their drinks and John once again thanked the man for plowing his driveway. The man said that it was no problem and if he ever had some extra time and a car wasn't in the driveway that he would do it again. John was happy to have a neighbor as nice as that.

Now, in the comfort of my own home I can enjoy the sweet, spicy taste of chocolate chai. No more lines. No more waiting for people to get their backpacks, feet, and iPods off the table so I can be a patron to the establishment I went to spend money at. No more frustrating ordering of dumbly named drinks. No more, I say, for now all of that has been crammed into a delightful carton of love and spices.

This drink rules. There. I said it. There are really no if, ands, or buts about it. All that you love about chai and all that you love about chocolate has been sucked from the bowels of the earth where chai is made to give it that earthen taste and injected into hermetically sealed cartons. That plastic flip-top really seals in all that spicy earth. Seriously though, it's a nice, dark chocolate taste with a strong cinnamon river running throughout.

I really thought I was never going to get what I wanted when it came to chocolate chai but thanks to Jay and his knowledge of the world around him, he let me in on this secret and now I am blowing the lid of the joint and letting you, the public know about it. Oh, this spicy, creamy, chocolate goodness. I shall see you again soon, my friend.

My ladyfriend works at Starbucks and come early fall the customers their lose their minds. People are constantly asking about their pumpkin spice lattes and then they will be available. It got so bad that I think it was actually released early this year. I've had them before and I think they taste decent enough, but I don't understand the power it has over people. It paints two images in my head; the first is that of zombies wanting nothing more out of life than sweet, sweet brains and the other is junkies wanting nothing more out of life than their sweet, sweet fix. All three things are sweet, sweet, so it's fitting.

This year Bolthouse Farms decided to release a limited edition seasonal line of beverages. The first one I saw hit the shelves was their take on the pumpkin spice latte. While I don't think this will have the same effect as the other does on the patrons of said coffee shop, it just may be enough to hold them over. I don't know why it would need to hold them over though, since they are both seasonal, and available at the same time.

In it's purest form this is a coffee beverage made with Arabica coffee. For me the problem is in the fact that there is way more milk in here than coffee. Yes, I know that's what a latte is, but I'm used to the soy variety, so this is a lot of milk for me to handle. So yeah, they take this coffee flavored milk and then add some spices and real pumpkin puree. I assure you that you can most definitely taste the pumpkin in this. There are a whole slew of pumpkin flavored products on the market these days, and most of them just taste like the spices that are used in a pumpkin pie. This taste more like the actual pumpkin, and it's interesting. As a side effect of that the amount of spices in here are lower than I would prefer, but you take what you can get in this crazy world of fancy beverages.

My final diagnosis is that if this contained more coffee, more spices and was soy based instead of primarily dairy based it would be one hell of a drink. Of course it would probably be a different drink entirely, but I know what the body wants and now so do you.

I will tell you for those who do not already know, that one of the worst things ever is packing for a big move. I live in a small house and am moving to a slightly larger house but I have been packing non-stop for days. It feels like an eternity but I am slowly seeing everything I own broken down and crammed into boxes and put into a corner of my house. It still feels like there is so much more stuff to pack but I am finally, after today, in a place where I think that I see an end.

In doing so, I had three boxes of things that I had to donate. After I was done and they gave me a "receipt" which is a piece of paper that says, "The IRS uses the honor system when you claim donations." which I thought was very strange and lazy, I decided to go right down the street and get something warm. It was very cold today, as I am sure you all know since I believe the entire country is going through a cold front right now. I believe it was twenty degrees outside and at the time of writing this, it was snowing. I wanted a mocha, but then I saw a sign that promoted the salted caramel hot chocolate. Since I think it was seasonal, I had to get it.

After waiting for it to decrease from the temperature of the sun, it was time to drink. I leaned in my house, in my kitchen, surrounded by both full and empty boxes, and took sip after sip and just cleared my head. This was a good, well-balanced drink. The caramel smoothed it out, the base hot cocoa was there and the salt was not overpowering and gave it a nice sweet and salty taste. It's a nice change of pace for the lovers of hot cocoa in times like these. Cold times. Winter times.

There are two kind of mint hot chocolate and this is the better one. What makes one better than the other? Well, and I'm dropping names here like some old tart that lived it up in the rock scene of the dirty, dirty seventies. Tim Horton's mint hot chocolate is a pretty pathetic, although accurate, portrayal of the model. It is the same hot chocolate that they would serve you if you ordered it any other time of the year but with one, unwrapped little secret. They drop a starlight mint in there. It's, and I don't mean to offend anyone with this, a pretty "poor person's" mint chocolate.

Now I am quite sure that Starbucks uses some fancy syrup to both sweeten and flavor their drink. Whatever they use, it doesn't make the drink taste:
A: Like candy in an otherwise basic drink.
B: Like toothpaste.

These two "nots" together add up to a decent mint hot chocolate. It is strong but not as strong as I like to think that Starbucks drinks are. It's a good, heavy cup of hot chocolate made with more decent ingredients than your powder garbage in the cupboard. I don't know what the Italian name for the twelve-or-so ounce cup I had was, but it was about the maximum I could have taken. I love chocolate and I love hot chocolate but add mint in there and it cuts my kid-like ability to eat endless amounts of chocolate down significantly. It was, while it lasted, a very good drink, though. Now I didn't buy it but I'm sure that I would not have been fully comfortable at whatever the purchase price was but hey, I don't make a lot of money and therefore will buy many more "poor person" renditions of drinks than someone in tax brackets above mine will. Jay and I live well beneath our means and that includes frivolous purchases like five-dollar small hot chocolates. I downright don't think I'm worth it but that's my own internal struggle I've got to deal with.

Do you remember when you were a kid and Strawberry Quik was one of the best things ever? Well, this is the soy version of that. Okay, you caught me. I am a liar. This wishes that it was the soy version of that. Actually I believe that at some point in its creation that is exactly what it might have been but then things went wonky. It tastes like they had two vats, one filled with soymilk and another filled with sweetened strawberry flavoring. I can only imagine that they meant to water down the soy vat to make it slightly less soy-y, but someone at the factory messed up and watered down the flavoring instead. The result was a beverage that tasted very strongly of soy and not as boldly of strawberry.

Instead of this tasting like nice strong strawberry milk it ended up tasting like the soymilk left over after a bowl of Frankenberry. I don't think anyone wants this.

I know. You thought of it. You're a genius. If only you had the money to start your own company to sell old cereal milk you would have been the genius behind this phenom of a company. Well I'm here to tell you that it was not as great as idea as you thought it was.

It's great when you do it at home because you ate the cereal and your mouth tastes like Cocoa Puffs but when you buy pre-bottles cereal milk, you're missing that aspect so it tastes like weak chocolate milk strained through someone's corn flakes. Is it bad? No. Is it good? Not particularly. It's got all the makings of a literal cereal milk but, as previously mentioned, it's lacking the actual action of eating and enjoying delicious chocolate cereal and earning the milk at the end.

So you made a good decision not following through with yet another one of your bright ideas because if you did, this review would be about your company and would hit uncomfortably close to home.

Trudy is one heck of a heifer. At first glance she looks like any other cow on the market, but a closer look shows that she has a David Bowie thing going on where she has two different color eyes. The thing is that she one's up the Thin White Duke as her right eyes looks like a rainbow. I bet that would drive Mr. Stardust insane that he didn't have that back in the 70's. Looks aside Trudy is also special because of the milk that comes out of her utters, you see it's pre-sweetened and tastes kind of fruity. Weird, right? I mean it's common knowledge that chocolate milk comes from brown cows, but who would have guessed that fruity milk comes from a cow with a rainbow eye?

The milk that comes from her actually kind of tastes like what is leftover after you eat the cereal from a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. It's not for me personally, but the kids sure seem to love it. I'm not a fan of milk to begin with, and on top of that it's a bit sweeter than I would ever want, but as I said I'm a grown ass man and this is a drink for the children of the world. Well, at least the children of the middle class in the United States.

For the longest time, it was hard to find vegan coffee drinks. Besides smaller coffee shops and Starbucks, it's near impossible if you want anything besides a black coffee. For as large as Dunkin Donuts and Tim Hortons have become, you'd think they'd start offering drinks with soymilk by now. I have probably gone on this rant before but I don't care.

Lately I've been enjoying the new non-dairy coffee drinks that have been hitting the shelves like this one. It makes sense from a marketing stand point, they already have the key ingredient, might as well throw a little coffee in there. This particular one is decent, but not amazing. It has that chocolate milkshake feel that I was hoping for, but sadly the chalky taste of the soymilk really spoils the drink. I can't complain too much because this half gallon cost the same as a 12 oz iced soy mocha at any coffee shop so it gets a pass for it's cost and convenience factor.

I somehow remember this being better. I don't know what it was. Is there a non-nonfat version of this? This taste like that and less chocolaty than I remember. It's not bad, but the entire time I was drinking this I was thinking that I could do it better at home. Look, that's the way it is with a lot of things. Let's be honest ourselves. Half the time we say that it's not true. You cannot cook intricate meals that you get out and you know it. You say it because it's either a rip-off or it tastes like something your mom made. You don't make stuff that good. Just be honest with yourself.

This is fine. It's chocolate milk. Chocolate milk is fantastic. Oh I know it's terrible for you and this is no different but it's still good. I just tasted like they were a little stingy on the quantity of syrup they put into this batch. I drank it with no qualms but I just want them to know that I hope that it was an honest mistake and someone behind the scenes isn't peering through Venetian blinds thinking to themselves, "I put in half as much syrup and I'm taking the rest of the money and I'm buying myself a boat." because if they are, I am already on to them.

It just so happens that in this world not everyone is perfect. Sometimes you have a vision, but the way you execute it falls short. As you can read below, that was the case with Sneakz. They had the great idea of creating a beverage for kids that contained a whole mess of vegetables that they need in their diet, but wouldn't eat. People said that kids would never drink that, and that is when Sneakz said, “They will if we disguise it with chocolate!” So they did, but the flavor of the vegetables crept through and no one was happy.

Cut to a couple of years and a second chance later and Sneakz has sent us their reformulated shakes. I very distinctly remembered my last visit with “Bandit” and was not looking forward to it. The reason for that is that I am dumb and forgot that things can change. This is so much better than the old version. The chocolate flavor holds out and completely disguises the veggies. This is like dumping cheese on broccoli and brussel sprouts, except it is delicious and not as horrible for you. Seriously all I can taste is chocolate milk. They have cracked the code and they are exactly where they want to be (well except maybe with more sugar).


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OLD REVIEW
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Oh Bandit, you rascally fox. You are always trying to deceive kids by sneaking vegetables into places they don't belong. Those dumb kids. They will never suspect that there are vegetables inside their chocolate milk. That is, unless they are dumber than you think because it is quite apparent that something wrong is going on inside this juice box. Bandit, you have lost your touch with this one. You might be saving kids elsewhere in things like food but with this drink it is as if you are robbing a bank with no gun, mask, or charisma.

This drink for a split second tastes like a chocolate milk. One split second is all you get. Quickly your temporarily pleased palate is washed over clearly by some sort of tomfoolery. I cannot pinpoint it but it's between vegetable lies and protein drinky. Both of the latter being enemies of children.

Bandit, I don't want you to get in trouble with your boss Sneakz but I've got to fill out "sucks" on the comment card they gave me for you ability to deceive children with hiding goods inside of the bads. Better luck next time little fox. Now come over here and let me pet your little head. I've always wanted to pet a fox.

I've got a soft spot for Nesquik. It's great. I love the stuff. My grocery store across the street from where I live is pretty good at stocking it. This one I had never seen before so I needed to buy it. I probably went across the street for something like peas or the like, got distracted, and bought chocolate milk.

This is good. I might prefer the regular variety of chocolate milk but this is good. It's not too much and the mad scientists somehow managed to cram even more delicious chocolate into an already pretty chocolaty drink. Great job scientists. None of this is bad but I think it might be one of the "new take on an old classic" things that I just prefer the old to the new. I'm typically not stubborn about thing, and I'm hardly holding a grudge, but this is just a titch less great than the original.

Vegans, you're getting luckier by the day. Your hatred of animals and animal by-products is getting easier stronger and more beneficial. You are no longer segregated to the underground seed and nut parlors of old but now you are welcomed into the sunlight and above ground stores and restaurants. You are treated special without questions asked. Your influence is growing. Soon, no one will look at a cow the same way. Soon, Morrissey will have one less thing to be sad about.

This totally animal free drink is pretty great. Almond milk is thicker than soymilk so it's more "milkshakey" which means "better" in layman terms. I don't get a lot of dark chocolate but I might get "slightly shadier chocolate." I wouldn't give it the credit that it asks for since I am allowed to be critical on my own soapbox. That being said, it's still good.

Vegetarians and vegans, you may dance until the sun comes out for this drink passes the test of a carnivore. I have spoken and it has been said. I hereby sanction this drink as acceptable to all parties.

"Holiday milk" sounds like the world's most generic product that has ever existed. It sounds like a gimmick that is used to just reel in idiots to think that it's something truly special. I mean chocolate and mint is not specific to any time of year. If it were eggnog or something with nutmeg in it, yeah, I would say that it is limited to Christmas. Chocolate and mint? Please. Give it to me any time of the year. Please. I love those two rascals together

Enough. Alright. Enough. As a product this is an absolute gem. It's smooth chocolate milk with a little bit of mint in it. It's not too much at all. I was actually surprised that they went as subdued as they did with it. Pleased but surprised. Normally the mix is fairly standard. This though, someone tried this one out and knew what they were up to. They didn't just call up Mix Warehouse over on Pine Avenue and order up the old "Chocolate Mint" mix to add to their product. They called up Harold at Mix Warehouse over on Oak Avenue and bought a chocolate and mint mix separately and mixed them to their liking. I know what you're thinking. A lot of streets are named after trees in this town. It happens. Trees are common. I would move to a city with a group of streets named after trees. Better than living in a city with a group of streets named after presidents or fruits. Those, my friends, are almost always bad news.

Blasted ladyfingers. Why? Why do you have to ruin a perfectly good dessert with rum? You turds. Why? I don't eat things cooked in or with alcohol so when I found out that tiramisu swam in the lake of Cap'n Morgan, I swore off the sweet treat for eternity. Honestly, I never was that crazy about it to begin with so not eating it doesn't really affect me but when I came across this little guy in a wondrous Asian market in Toronto with the Thirsty Dude called Jay, I had to buy it.

This drink tastes like tiramisu. It's odd. Cake flavored drink. Oh, I'm sorry, have you had one before? We've had ice cream flavored drinks, Masala flavored drinks, corn flavored drinks, but never cake. Why not? It seems to not be a problem for these guys. Maybe a chocolate cake tea would be nice. Try it. This tea tastes like the cake it's supposed to. I know it's a novel idea since it's a self-proclaimed "Tiramisu" flavored but we drink stuff all the time that doesn't taste like it's supposed to and this isn't exactly a "regular" drink so it could have gone either way. As far as the "milk tea" thing goes, it's more milk than tea but they're both there. A black tea powder (odd) and a skim milk (not odd) make up the base of this.

Also, it should be pointed out that one carton of this is about as bad for you as a slice of real tiramisu so if you are looking for a replacement, this is it, but if you're looking to save on calories, don't bother and eat real cake. If you've got your jaw wired shut like Kanye West before he felt the need to make up for lost time and never shut up, this is your go-to-guy.

I was just thinking of how many times I could write the word "wonderful" before you stopped reading. Then I thought that would be a terrible, albeit factual review. In exchange, I will do a review titled: "Some of the best chocolate drink that has ever passed these lips"

This chocolate drink, for some reason not called chocolate milk, is simply splendid. It is smooth, creamy, and has bits of badam in it. "What is badam?" you ask? Almonds, friend. Almonds. And "bits" is a good way to describe them. They are super tiny and in some sips, non-existent. To further extend the experimentation of what we do here at Thirsty Dudes, a friend of "the dudes" poured a quarter of his half of the drink into the remnants of his coffee making a rather delicious mocha.

I bought this at an Indian market and you should, too. Seriously, you should. Five bottles. You know what that means, right? It means quit your job and go buy some chocolate drink!

When I saw this alongside Silk Nog my heart jumped because it's my favorite time of year. While many of my friends protested that it's "too soon" for eggnog, I disagree. It's never too soon and I wish it were offered year round.

While this is no nog, it's a seasonal drink so I couldn't pass it up. This is the friend your best friend brings along with them. You'd rather just hang out with the person you know and love, but you'll give this other friend a shot.

While this may be my first chocolate mint soymilk, it will not be my last. This stuff is really delicious! It's a very smooth chocolate with a nice crisp mint that isn't overpowering. While my love for eggnog has not be surpassed, this wonderful soymilk has earned its spot next to it in the fridge.

My brother has a friend that is in the armed forces. I don't know what branch, sorry. I guess he goes out for weekends and get these and sometimes gives them to my brother. I was at my parent's house and she offered it to me and told me to give it a try. Looking at this bag of government drink mix, I didn't know what to expect other than bland. Honestly, I didn't know they had such gourmet flavors up their sleeves. I figured it was a lot of dehydrated ice cream and dehydrated Salisbury steak. Everything in the military is dehydrated. I've been to the Army/Navy surplus store. I know what I'm talking about.

I followed the directions to a "T." Six ounces of water, place in bag, shake, and drink. Like I said, I didn't know what to expect so I wanted this to be as ideal as possible. I poured it back out and it came out looking like chocolate milk. Ideal. I took a sip and was pleased. It tasted like chocolate milk and I guess there could have been hazelnut in there. The only reference I have for chocolate and hazelnut is Nutella, which I love.

We do this website for people who want to try new drinks. I guess that if you're in the military, you can't really be picky so here's what I'm saying. If you have been drinking the chocolate milk day in and day out, you are safe with this one. You've done well, government. You treat our troops better than I thought.