Root Beer - 223 Reviews

Sharon, I'm telling you chewing 37 pieces of bubble gum at once is not a smart move. You're going to throw your jaw out of its socket. Of course jaws have sockets how do you think they move? There you've gone and done it. You have 37 assorted brands of bubble gum and you're chewing them all at once. You're just lucky if you ask me. Hey that's my birch beer! Why are you drinking that with all that gum in your mouth? You're just being a glutton now. What's that? It tastes like carbonated bubble gum with a slight aftertaste of birch beer? I would imagine the gum would overpower the soda, I mean you do have 37 pieces in your mouth. Of course it's sickly sweet. You just mixed a butt load of gum and soda. I can't believe how much you're enjoying that. Don't go for 38!

*POP!*

I'll go pull the car around and take you to the hospital. It's a good thing Real Soda makes Girlan Pink Birch Beer since everything you'll be consuming for the next few weeks is going to be through a straw and you can't seem to get enough of bubble gum.

On a side note Mike got called out for being sexist in a review last week. I thought it was funny that the reader complained that he equated something he didn't like to the female gender. He did say it was a "girl's drink" but it wasn't because he didn't like it. I thought it was hilarious and ridiculous that the reader took offense to something that wasn't even stated, yet took no offense to the actual sexist statement that it was a girl's drink because it was pink. This drink is pink, it's called "Girlan," and the bottle says, "It brings out the little flower in you." I'm sure someone is going to have a field day with that.

Ugh, we've been on this road forever. When can we stop? I'm super thirsty and have to pee like crazy. Seriously, how long is Route 66 and do the radio stations have some sort of monopoly over the airwaves because all they've played since we touched this dumb road is covers of "Route 66". Every channel. I thought it was funny for a while but we've been driving for nineteen hours straight and all they've played is the same song covered by different people. It's driving me insane. Oh, stop there! Stop there!

Do you want something to drink? I'll be right back.

Oh, God. You wouldn't believe it in there. It was torturous. There was just Route 66 memorabilia everywhere. Floor to ceiling. Everything from records to street signs to shirts to so many shirts. Holy crap. It was one giant gift shop with a Port-O-Potty out back. They had merch in the actual bathroom and it was unusable. It was so stupid. I did get this Route 66 root beer, which was $5.99 so it had better be worth it.

What do you think? Yeah? Let me try. Yeah, you're right. It's root beer. It's a medium root beer, not too light and not too dark. It's got some complexity to it and I think there might be some anise or licorice but I can't be sure. That would be considered "Natural and Artificial Flavorings" I assume, and I have no idea what "quillaia" is, but that's in there, too.

Seriously, the Hoover Dam had better be worth this drive because aside from the Depeche Mode cover of Route 66, I am going to grab the wheel when you aren't looking and drive into a cow or off a cliff or into a bridge.

In the Rocky Mountains the Brothers of Barrels did live.
Each with their own gift to the world to give.
Martin with a root beer that was very plain,
and decent cream soda was created by the brother Shane.
Why don't you mix the two together their father did suggest.
The creator of Apple Beer the brothers could not protest.
Now the sum is certainly better than the parts,
but the mixture didn't quite capture the Thirsty Dudes hearts.
While our interests the vanilla cream did pique,
the root beer was a bit watered down and weak.

Over six years ago Mike and I moved into an apartment together. The house number was 23, so we dubbed it "Michael Jordan". Now all these years, and an absent landlord later, I am moving out. Yesterday we moved pretty much everything. One thing I have to remark on is “where did I get all this garbage from?” I thought I didn't own much of anything, but I have so much crap. Ugh.

After a couple of hours of moving, I was completely beat. I went to the fridge and cracked open this cool frosty root beer. It was extremely refreshing. To be fair I was covered in sweat and completely beat, so anything that didn't taste like liquid garbage would have been welcomed.

Frostop has a classic root beer taste with some extra ingredients added. It tastes vaguely medicinal in a Moxie sort of way. It may just be that there is a lot of anise in it. I still enjoyed it, and guzzled down the bottle way faster than I should have.

I should go finish my move now, but instead I'm going to go wander around the woods with some friends.

This bottle claims it's a fountain classic, and I can't argue. It has a classic root beer flavor that people know and love. There is nothing special about it at all. It has the flavor that 99% of the world would think of when they hear the words root and beer in that order. It's a nice alternative to the major brand root beers out there, as it's made with cane sugar for a less syrupy texture. It is slightly on the watery side, but it's nothing terrible.

I can't say I'd go out of my way to pick this up again, but if I was at a BBQ and someone offered it to me I would gladly accept it along with six veggie dogs slathered in BBQ sauce, mustard, pickled ginger and Bacos. Now there is a meal.

Jay and I recently stopped at a great store in Sewickley, PA called Village Candy. We ended up spending over $80 on pop and talking with the owner for over an hour. It was great and I already can't wait to go back. I had exhausted all the root beer I could find to review in Buffalo so I was happy to see they had a really good selection.

This bottle was among the 12 different bottles of pop I bought. It's a really hearty root beer. It's not super heavy, but it definitely isn't smooth. It has a lot of flavor to it and has a really good bite to it. I can't really taste the molasses but that doesn't mean it's not great. If this is what root beer tastes like in "Olde Rhode Island", I want to go back to that time!

When you read the following please pretend that the guy who announces movie previews is reading it to you. That is the way the artist meant for it to be absorbed.

In a world of plastic bottle sodas, one pop had the courage to climb the top of the mountain. She wasn't a normal birch beer. A pigment disorder rendered her clear, but she wasn't about to let that stop her from reaching the top of FROZEN RUN!

FROZEN RUN is the tale of a young girl who fought the prejudice against her to stand out amongst the plastic bottle sodas. She fought long and hard to shrug off her roots of cheap discount store sodas to climb a mountain in the Pennsylvanian countryside to proclaim to the world that she had a voice and it would be heard.

FROZEN RUN is a tale about love, life, loss and the crispest birch beer you will ever taste. It has the crispness of mint with out the actual mint flavor.

FROZEN RUN. Coming soon to a gas station and mini mart near you. That is if you live in central PA.

Welcome back to the World Series of Soda Pop. We've had an exciting game thus far and we're now in the bottom of the ninth and team Ginger Beer winning against Root Beer 14 to 11.

First up to bat we have Stewarts. Oh he just barely makes it to first on a bunt. Who on Earth bunts when no one is on base? I guess that's Stewarts. Now approaching the plate is Virgils. It's a fly ball out into left field! Virgils brings it in with a double. We now have Stewarts on third and Virgils on second and Barqs is up to bat. Strike One! He seems a little rattled, but let's see how he does on this next pitch. Oh it's a ground ball right to the third baseman. Virgil's not going anywhere, but at least the bases are now loaded. Cooperstown is stepping up to the plate and he's pointing to the stands. This is a root beer that talks a big game and he's looking for a grand slam to win this game for Root Beer. Here's the first pitch. Strike One! Oh man he didn't even swing at it. He's literally shrugging it off. He looks totally bored out there. The pitcher is winding up. Strike Two! Cooperstown was actually leaning back on his bat for that one. The nerve of this guy! It all boils down to this pitch. The runners seem pretty confident and are taking fairly decent leads off the bases. The pitch is thrown and Cooperstown makes contact, although the ball looked like it got hit by a 6 year old. It was a fly ball that went directly into the second baseman's mitt. He then tagged Virgil's out at third. It seems like Stewarts didn't realize that the ball was caught and before he could get back to third the ball was thrown to Goya and that's three outs ladies and gentleman. Ginger Beer Wins the Pennant! Ginger Beer Wins the Pennant! Cooperstown really screwed the pooch on this one ladies and gentleman. He was cocky because he was named after the baseball hall of fame. The thing he didn't realize was that he actually tastes like watered down store brand root beer. Acidic and lacking much flavor. Ladies and gentleman not only did he cause Root Beer to lose the World Series, but he also may be the worst root beer I have ever tasted.

Pirates are famous for many things; pillaging, plundering, raping, parrots, scurvy and eye patches. I'd like to think that in their heyday they ruled the seven seas with a wooden leg. They set fear into the hearts of every man, woman and child that set foot onto a boat. Through all that there is one thing they never got a firm grasp on: root beer. It's a little known fact that the primary objective of all pirates was to acquire premium ingredients to brew the world's greatest root beer. Unfortunately for them their lack of vitamin c got the best of them and all they created was mediocrity in the beverage world.

Dead Red Root Beer is decent but that's about as far as it goes. It's similar to Barqs in flavor. That may be because this is the only other root beer (besides G33K B33R) that I know of that has caffeine in it. I was expecting this to be special and have that classic Skeleteens burn to it. It did not. I also really thought it was going to be red due to the name, but it's normal caramel root beer colored. Also how awesome would it have been if it were cherry root beer? Why don't companies make different varieties like they do with colas?

Sheriff: Son, I'm going to have to ask you to not dump all of that chemical waste into our fair Snake River.

Jimmy the Dumper: Screw you cop! My daddy is paying me five American dollars to do this for him.

Sheriff: Son, if you keep talking that way I'm going to have to place you under arrest for violating some sort of environmental law, and well for hurting my feelings.

Jimmy the Dumper: Wait a minute! You're in cut off shorts, crocs, and an FBI (Female Body Inspector) shirt. You're not a real cop!

Sheriff: Son, I have a bottle cap from a Jackson Hole soda that looks like a badge of some sort that proves otherwise. Now if you'll please come quietly we'll get this all sorted out back at the station.

Jimmy the Dumper: You mean that creepy shed behind your house? Screw this I'm out of here. *He then pushes over the sheriff and dumps the rest of the waste on him, ensuring that his daddy will give him the five dollars he so deserves to go buy some chew down at Art's Dairy Bar.*


The moral of this story is don't be a chump. Drinking Jackson Hole does not make you a law official, but it does mean that you have great taste. All of their sodas have gotten outstanding marks here at Thirsty Dudes. Their sarsaparilla is no different. It tastes like the darkest, heaviest root beer I have ever tried. When it's in your mouth it taste more like a root beer than other sarsaparilla's I've had, but as I said in a unique way. After you swallow, the aftertaste is pure sarsaparilla. That's the way things should be.

On a final note:
Dear Jackson Hole,
Please start distributing your sodas to Buffalo, NY as soon as possible. You're from Wyoming. There is a Buffalo in Wyoming. Pretend that's where you're sending it and send it to New York instead. We really need you in our lives on a more constant basis.
Sincerely,
The City of Buffalo

This little guy almost killed me. I opened the bottle, took a swig and I somehow swallowed it wrong and started to choke. It felt like bubbly sugary soda felt like it was dripping down into my lung sacks. For a split second I thought I was going to die. Every breath was filled with gurgling liquid. Luckily I persevered, and I am able to write you a review.

Is there such a thing as bad birch beer? If so I've never come across it. There are three categories of it, micro-brewed, county fair and candy-esque. All of them have their merits, with very little drawbacks. This falls under the candy category. It's doesn't have a gross candy flavor, but it's just way sweeter than other birch beers. It really feels like it should just be a root beer, but then the unmistakable aftertaste sets in and it's birch beer city. It's not spectacular, but it's better than most sodas. I can't complain about that.

In less than a month, Jason and I are going to be judges at the 2011 Clear Choice Awards. Ever since I learned about the awards, I've been observing bottles and labels a lot more. For instance, I like the metallic green they used on this label on a standard 12 oz glass bottle. It really goes along with their leprechaun mascot. My only complaint is that it was glued to the bottle a little sloppy. There are wrinkles all over it.

The root beer itself is pretty good. It doesn't have much of a bite but it's really sweet and smooth. This is definitely in the top 20% of root beers. More drink companies need mascots.

When I was in my fourth college I took a class called Media Analysis. Let me give you a heads up about my education for a second here. This was my fourth college. I hated school. It didn't help me, it just made me hate school and parking and people and jaded me more than I was already. There was a point where I called my mom after driving around the parking lot for 45 minutes to tell her that I was going to drop out because I hated every day of school and it all stemmed from me not able to find a parking spot. The only thing that school was good for was when Jay and I went to go see Morrissey a couple of years ago. So anyhow, Media Analysis was some garbage class that was talking about "what does it all mean" which is not a class that can be taught and for that reason, it sucked. We talked about theory and stuff, which was fine, but most of the class was so "meta" that it was like we weren't doing anything.

One thing that I did take away was the phrase "model". No, not model like those bitchin' Lamborghini Countach models you bought when you were ten and you stupidly took all the pieces off the plastic holder and when it came time to put all the pieces together, you, being ten, had no idea what the difference between a head gasket and a gas tank cover was so you could only put the shell together and that was utterly unsatisfying. "Model" being the base. The root. The core. The basis in which all others are related to. The median object. Make sense?

This root beer is the model root beer. It has a little bit of bite, a little dark, a pretty good overall flavor, moderately priced. Not "too" anything. Safe. It's good. That's all it is, but it's good. This is the root beer you would give someone who has never had root beer before but decides that after 37 years it's time.

I wouldn't buy it again because I know that there are better things out there, but for Walgreens to put out such an overall decent product says a lot. Kudos Walgreens, for caring enough to put something like this out.

Big bear. Big bear chase me. Big bear chase me until I buy his soda. I wasn't planning on buying this due to the plastic bottle and HFCS. I was told that it was really awesome and was pressured into it. I'm glad things happened that way. It's much better than other root beers in the same category. Black Bear is an accurate name because it tastes really dark. It's the closest I've ever had a "regular" pop come to tasting like a microbrew. I bet it would have calmed John Candy down after that bear chased him.

It's always great to be able to sample local drinks when you're visiting other cities. I have to say that when you're in St Louis you should drink Fitz's root beer. It's has a fairly standard flavor. There's nothing fancy about it, but it does have a solid taste. It's in the same vein as your "major label" pops, but of a way higher quality. The use of cane sugar alone makes it superior. It did make my tongue feel slightly numb, but that just makes the drinking experience more exciting.

File this one under "I drank it because it was free". Regular A&W root beer is a fine, generic root beer. It's a step above most store brand root beers, but a diet version of an already mediocre drink? Bad news. This taste like someone dumped dish soap into a can of perfectly fine root beer. I'm sure there are some people who wouldn't mind the taste of this, but I'm not one of them. The only reason why I'm finishing this can is because I don't want to be rude and dump it.

The weird thing about diet drinks is the more you drink them, the more tolerable they become. Normally I despise diet sodas because they taste like chemicals, but I've been drinking a lot of Diet Pepsi over the past couple weeks. This is because I've been staying with my mom for a few weeks until I found a place to live (which I will be moving into tomorrow) and all she has here is Diet Pepsi. Being the soda fiend and night owl I am, I have been drinking enough of it to build up a tolerance to fake sugar in soda.

I realized I had built up this tolerance when I took my first sip of this diet birch beer. I was expecting it to taste gross, but the first sip wasn't that bad. In subsequent sips I could taste the Splenda. This is a really light birch beer. It has a slight bite in the aftertaste, but not nearly as much as I would like and tend to expect from standard birch beer. This definitely gets filed in the "not the best, but not the worst" file.

College Club, based out of Rochester, NY, puts out a decent size line of quality sodas. It's a small family business that has been passed on for several generations. We were lucky enough to go to their factory and assist them in bottling some of their soda. It was great to say the least.

We've been enjoying their pops for quite some time now, but somehow we have failed to write a review for their root beer. The first thing I'd like to say is man is it good. It's not a fancy brewed root beer, but it is in the upper echelon of "normal" root beers. It's dark and flavorful. It doesn't taste like spices and herbs, but it also doesn't taste like candy. It tastes like the purest essence of the root beer you would drink as a kid. It's similar to a Mug or a Dad's but it's of a higher quality. We're proud to have them as a fairly local company.

For all my talk about cowboys; how I think they are awesome and how it's a possibly calling in my life, I am not a fan of western movies. Sometimes they are okay, but in general I find them boring and hokey. A lot of adults in my life growing up were into them, so I've seen a decent amount and they just don't do anything for me. The same thing goes for kung-fu movies. I'd rather watch Fletch for the 900th time than watch John Wayne or Clint Eastwood.

There are cowboys on this bottle and I have to say I don't think they would drink this. It's really good, but I would never in a million years pick it out as sarsaparilla in a blind taste test. I would bet all the tea in China that it was a fancy cola. Even with my eyes open and knowing what it is supposed to be, I'd still say it was a cola. It has a hint of root beer/sarsaparilla to it, but it's mostly a brewed cola taste. I really enjoyed it, but it doesn't taste like what it's supposed to, so I feel like I should deduct a bottle. Maybe that is John Wayne on the bottle and he thinks he's too good for "cowboy swill" and he just wanted a nice cola. The directors told him that it wouldn't work right in the film so they put it in a sarsaparilla bottle so it would look authentic. Damn fake cowboys ruining everything for everyone.

My brother, now residing in Germany for a duration he told me three times and I now forgot, went on a wine tasting tour with his girlfriend Gabe last week and called me. On this trip me a growler of War Horse micro-brewed root beer. He said that it had vanilla and anise in it. That's a pretty good way for me to drink anything. So his plans came to fruition and he bought a growler, which I picked up last time I went to my parent's house. I threw it in the fridge while we went to partake in Thirsty Tuesday tonight so when we got back to my house, we would have a fresh, cool growler of hand crafted root beer.

I opened the cap, took a whiff and it was dark. Very bold, like that jerk with a lot of greeze in his hair coming up to you, if you are a girl, and saying something about your butt and expecting not to get slapped in the face. I poured a glass for myself, Jay, and Jay's ol' lady. We all drank at about the same time and there was silence. It was a good silence because it was pretty complex. It was sharp and had a lot of flavor. The anise wasn't too singled out and was more of a helper than a focal point. The vanilla I didn't get but what I did get, and correct me if I'm wrong, was some sort of barrel aging. It was like a better
Sprecher Root Beer because that tasted like downright wood.

I hope that they one day bottle this and sell it locally, it gets picked up by a distributor, and then distributed at least regionally. It's really something that you should try.