Sparkling - 501 Reviews

"Don't bother" would be my response to the statement, "I'm going to carbonate tea." Sure, it's a real "millennial" response but seriously, don't bother. Iced tea is like the perfect drink and you're going to ruin it with a million sugars. Yeah, I said it. This drink is ruined. It's got citrus but it tastes more like someone dumped half a can of Sprite into...something. I am not sure if there is tea in this to be honest. Aren't I always honest with you, friends? This kind of stinks. How's that for honest? It's too sweet and I don't like it. You like that? Brutal. It might be sweeter than actual Sprite. They really let this drink have it. Woo! So sweet. So bad. Peace.

There is a hierarchy in the world of sparkling beverages. Much like in karate you have to go on a “journey” and complete tasks in order to reach the next tier. Wait, do you have to perform certain tasks to move onto the next belt in karate, or does it just depend on the amount of time you spend in the classes? I mean what if you have a natural talent and within the first month you can just destroy everyone in class, but show the reserve not to, do you move up the belt ranks faster? Let's just say you need to work for it and gain wisdom to move up.

You start off as a child and someone puts a garbage cup of pop in front of you. It's insanely sweet because it's full of high fructose corn syrup. You're little mind and taste buds aren't developed enough, so you think it's the greatest thing in the world. Any brand, any flavor they are all incredible to you. As time goes on you decide you prefer certain flavors and certain brands just taste better. Look at you, you've gained a new color belt. Later on in life you discover that soda sweetened with cane sugar is far superior to that with HFCS and you don't' really want to touch the garbage stuff anymore. Level up my friend. Before you know it you're an adult and your tastes have continued to evolve. Before you know it you find yourself saying things like, “Oh no thanks that is just too sweet for me.” You'll get a can of soda and drink half of it at most. You realize that there is something to flavored seltzer water and that it calms your craving for carbonation without making you feel like garbage. As you don your new imaginary soda belt you think to yourself, “This is it. I've finally reached adulthood.” You may not realize it but there is another belt. That belt is called tonic and bitters, and I for one am not quite there yet. Maybe I will when I'm in my 50's as it took me 35 years to accept seltzer as my lord and savior. Perhaps when I reach a half century on this planet I will raise a glass of bitters take a sip and say, “This certainly hits the spot, and I can die peacefully now because I know tranquility.” All of the meditation in the world cannot get you to the place of inner peace that you reach when you let tonic and bitters into your life. It is the true enlightenment, or so I can only imagine.

I hope to someday reach the final belt, but until then I will just have to sip these drinks and wonder desperately what it is about them that is alluring. I don't hate them, but I don't think I really enjoy them either. If you take a sip of this and don't breathe out it's like you're drinking a nice white peach seltzer. The fruit flavor is soft and light. It's pleasant. Then you exhale and the bitterness sets in. That aftertaste is so specific and strange to me. I will someday comprehend and enjoy it, or I will have failed as a Thirsty Dude.

Well, la-di-da, Mr. Frenchman. French soda. What a great name for something that just pop as far as I'm concerned. Added to the fact that erythritol is in it which makes it totally more American, don't expect something exotic. This is not escargot. This is pop and I will review it as such.

Tangerine pomegranate. It's a nice, lighter flavor. Maybe that's what makes it "French" is that it's not a million grams of sugar and syrup. I'm not giving it to them. I'm not holding an embargo on France, but I'm not accepting that this is anything different that a lightly flavored pop. It's good. Ol' fashioned American pop can come across as heavy and too sweet. This is absolutely not that and I don't miss the "extra" or "bonus" flavor at all. This would be a nice transition between, say "American pop" and something like a seltzer or even a Dry pop as that is basically "almost soda."

A car hole.

As if seltzer isn't "for adults" enough, here is one that tastes like you're eating an orange you dropped in the woods and let it sit and marinate in the bark of a thousand trees. Is that bad? Not if you like the great outdoors. That goes for the place or the movie in no particular. It's good. It's sparkling and at the end is bitter but in the beginning, it's got a nice, orangey flavor. It does turn quickly but you've got to "man up" quickly because it's going to get tough soon; sooner than you probably thought; sooner than you probably wanted. If you wanted it to stay calm forever, you have the wrong drink because this is a drink for people with some hair on their chest. Male or female it doesn't matter this drink is indiscriminately put hair on your chest and on your knuckles. The type of person that knows how to use a saw and uses a saw regularly, that's who this is for. You know, the type of person that doesn't use conditioner but lets the dust from hay and sawdust "take care of it." Is this you? Are you this? If so, you've got a drink waiting for you at the top of a pile of gravel you have to shovel out for no particular reason which you will do with glee.

I am by no means an expert of this topic, but I always thought bitters were little bottles of distilled flavoring that you added to alcoholic drinks. I guess that could be what this is, but I was under the impression that they were along the lines of a concentrate and that you added a very minimal amount to reach the desired taste. Of course, as always, I make up my mind just on an idea and I don't finish reading the rest of the bottle before my brain decides what to expect. Before I even took a sip I was convinced that his was not going to be what my mind thought it should be. I was ready to write it off instantly. Then I took a sip and read the rest of the bottle and found out that this is tonic water with a dash of grapefruit mint mixed in. So it looks like my beliefs were correct and also that I should not be writing drink reviews because I don't always have an open mind.

This is exactly what is says it is, and it does not lie about it being bitter. In most drinks that are grapefruit flavored one would expect the flavor to come from grapefruit juice. In here it tastes most like the rind was used, which makes it very bitter, but not unenjoyable. Also, the mint is there more as a cooling factor than as an actual mint taste. In a world where people generally go overboard with mint, this is something that I can truly appreciate.

I may have finally grown up this year and accepted the greatness of seltzer water, but I'm not quite ready to fully embrace tonic with bitters. Give me another couple of years and we'll talk again.

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K, and by Circle K I mean this bottle of carbonated tea. I've had a handful of tea sodas in my days on this planet and to be honest I don't know if any of the flavored ones have really impressed me. Give me a straight up sparkling black, green, white, or yerba mate tea and I'll be all over it, but something gets lost in the translation when you mix carbon dioxide, tea and fruit flavors. Something especially seems wrong when a zero calorie sweetener is brought into the mix. Look, I've made my peace with stevia. I don't love it, but I know it has its place and I've even been known to enjoy it in some drinks. In this bottle of Sotea it's blended with real sugar, so it should be actually decent, but it mixes with the peach flavor in a way that just makes the whole thing taste artificial. The ingredients say nothing about the peach juice, but “natural flavors” is listed, so I'm assuming it has something to do with an actual peach, but it just doesn't taste authentic. I was excited to try this line when I came across it, but it really is just not for me and my taste buds.

For those of you too young to remember this company was everywhere in the late 80's/early 90's. Back when corner stores and bodegas did not have a large selection of beverages this was always right alongside the Coke and Pepsi. I don't know if this was the case all around the country, but in Western New York, we loved our New York Seltzer. Now I have to be honest with you, I don't know if I ever actually tried one of these back in the day. By the time I was of age to be purchasing my own beverages I was far more interested in straight up soda and Mistic (they looked like wine coolers and made you feel cooler than you were, because you know wine coolers were always the thing the cool kids drank). Perhaps it's because of similar choices made by the youth of the 80's that caused this beverage to disappear from the shelves and production to grind to a halt. I will choose to believe that because who doesn't want to think that they had that sort of power as a pre-teen?

Here we are over twenty years later and New York Seltzer is back in business and cranking out six of their classic flavors. We really should have gotten to this earlier, as we like to review the classic drinks when they come back, but for some reason I hadn't been able to find it until I was in Michigan of all places. Strange times.

My first thought as I took a sip of this was, “What the hell there is sugar in here!” I had always thought that seltzer was just (possibly flavored) carbonated water with no added sweeteners. A quick look online informed me that any carbonated water beverage is considered a seltzer and even soda falls under that umbrella. In fact in my world this is just a soda. There is 31g of sugar in this 10oz bottle, and well it tastes like a raspberry soda. It's a little on the light side, but it's a fruity soda through and through. To be honest, I feel a bit cheated, but it's solely because I was uninformed. It's a decent soda and I just need to get in the headspace for that kind of beverage.

I love Polar. I should say that I have learned to love Polar. My mom has drunk it for years and for all of those years I thought it was gross. Since then, I have learned to love it. With the excess of sugar on my plate at any given time, it's so nice to calm down for once and just drink something with unaltered, unadulterated flavor.

This one falls a little flat for me, though. Normally the flavors are a bit bolder and cherry and lime is a wonderful combination but this was a bit too subtle for me. Subtle might be a secret way of saying "I wish the flavors were stronger" but I can't be sure. Since it's sugarless, flavor and carbonation is really all it has going for it and it was plenty carbonated. I don't want to say it was flavorless because it did taste like both lime and cherry but...more. I just want more. Now I sound like my girlfriend. More more more. Greed has become of me. I have become greed. Together we are one and our name is "more." Alas, it is my destiny. I must accumulate.

Starbucks. Woah. You really nailed it with this thing. It's sparkling makes a huge difference. The pineapple kicks it up another notch because it gives it a little sting. Then, as if that wasn't enough, I love the Passion tea. It's got that licorice that makes me feel kind of funny. Like when we used to climb the ropes in gym class.

This drink rules and if I get back into "the States" and they don't have it, I'm going to be very disappointed. Please be waiting for me when I get home. Wear something sassy or sultry. Not both. One or the other.

I only like drinking the sparkliest of waters. The sharpest of waters. The fruitiness of waters. The...you get it. This has somehow been on my desk for like an hour and a half and it's still as sharp as ever. But is it good? Does sharp mean good? No but it's good regardless. It's got a great strawberry flavor matched to any Polar or general seltzer water. For what I'm assuming is a "small fry," it's a good accomplishment. You're in the ring with the big boys and you're holding your own. I don't think I've ever seen Rambo to do a just comparison to that.

If you're looking to be just cool enough that you want to, like us, bring something new to a party so you seem interesting to other people, bring this. It's new and those idiots haven't seen it and it makes you seem adventurous. That's how to get chicks. Chicks, man. Chicks.

Ahh these seasonal flavors. This little number, inspired by fantastic Spaniards, is wonderful. I've been milking it all day and it's been nice to me. For eight hours, the sparkles have remained as has the flavor and all day I have been able to enjoy the fantastic flavor of pomegranate sangria. Have I ever had a real sangria? Nope. It sound like an adult fruit punch. Is that was it is? If so, I don't know if I would drink it even if I did drink. This, though. This I would drink all the darn time and no one would accuse me of having a drinking problem, you know, because it's just water. I guess drinking problems aren't explicitly assigned to alcohol but I think when you say it, that's where your head goes. To alcohol. This would be a nice alternative if you both loved and had a problem with drinking sangria. I'm trying to help you. Help me help you, friend.

All the protein. I need all of it. I need to bulk up. Who has time for the gym. I'm going to slam all of the chocolate milks just to see what it would look like if I was chiseled out of marble. Wait...that's not how that works? I just cancelled my gym membership and in exchange spent my membership fee on chocolate milk. I've already drank eleven of them today.

Am I going to be alright? What poisoning? Protein poisoning? Really? Oh man. What do I do? Can I do a cranberry cleanse or something? Do I need to make myself throw up? Eleven milks. I can't believe I did that. How? Well it actually wasn't that hard. It tastes like a melted Wendy's Frosty. Who couldn't drink 154 ounces of Frosty. 154 ounces of chocolate milk? Oh man.

This day will go down in infamy as the one of the dumbest days of my life. I've got to reverse this by going on a cleanse. At least it wasn't a really rich, thick chocolate milk and was closer to the stuff you would make at home. I might have really put on some pounds. I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow. Probably a big poop. Hopefully a big poop.

The naturally sparkling, salt free air that this company makes is my favorite. Oh wait that's not Perrier, that is Perri-air a hysterical fictional product from the Mel Brooks vehicle Space Balls. That is a great gag though. If you don't think so, you're either too young, or have no soul. You can be sure the science is solid behind that remark as well.

Even though it has been around forever this may be the first Perrier product I have ever drunk. It's sparkling mineral water and that is something that until recently I had no interest in. I've tried a few pink grapefruit seltzer waters and there is a difference between them and this flavored mineral water. I think I may actually prefer this because it has more substance. The grapefruit flavor isn't as strong and you can taste the minerals. It's a nice change up, and I'll certainly be drinking more of it. I never thought I would be sitting at home on a Saturday night drinking a bottle of Perrier. Oh how strange life has become.

Craft beer has been all the rage for a few years now, and I am ever so pleased that the soda game is moving in that direction. The older I get, the harder it is for me to drink an entire can/bottle of regular soda. I blame the corn syrup, but it's really just the general sweetness. I've grown into an old man who prefers seltzer water over pop in most instances. It's a strange world I'm in and I don't think I like it. I actually don't like much these days. It just happens that this soda is one of the few things that has brought me enjoyment recently. I was on a trip to Canada and I stopped in a grocery store, not expecting to find much and came across a slew of Just Craft Soda flavors. I think each and every one caught my eyes, but there was no way that I could say no to an apple and ginger soda. It was 90+ degrees out and as soon as I walked out into that sweltering heat I popped the cap off of this bottle and melted into a puddle of delicious soda.

I'm shocked that ginger isn't listed in the ingredients list because from the taste I would have assumed it was one of the main ingredients. I can only assume it falls under the natural flavours (note the spelling). The only other things listed are fruit juice, carbonated water and cane sugar. It's a simple soda with a big taste. Whenever ginger and apple are mixed it makes me think of the Autumn, which is a great time of year, but saddens me because it's a reminder that summer is winding down. While I can do without this heat wave I have done a lot of summer activities this year and the thought of an approaching winter is enough to make someone want to give up and move to warmer climates. No matter what the season though I would be thoroughly enjoying this soda. This is like someone's parents cut up an apple for their lunch and sprinkled a little lemon juice on it to avoid browning and also decided to get fancy and grate a little ginger on it. Man this imaginary kid has the most thoughtful parents. All I got in my lunch was a peanut butter sandwich and some gummy fruits. They totally win, especially because I never got the white Shark Bite.

I'm here to admit to you all that I have a problem with Bing beverages. I absolutely love them, and I drink them far too often. It started with them being on sale, and me justifying buying them by telling myself that it's not as crazy as most energy drinks, it's just juice with vitamins, caffeine and ginseng. Next thing I know I'm downing them every other day. I don't like relying on caffeine. It's one of the reasons I avoid coffee for the most part. I don't think I'm quite there yet, but I'm well on my way. My go to drinks are the blackberry and the raspberry ones. When I saw a new apple flavor I knew I had to grab one.

I love apples. I love apple juice. I love apple cider. Something happens when you add sugar and carbonate apple juice that candies it in a weird way that I am not a huge fan of. I'm sure you all know what artificial sour apple flavoring tastes like, and this is halfway between that and a real apple. It's not horrible, but something about it is a little off to me. I know tons of people who would love this, but it's just not for me. It's sweet and that middle ground apple taste overshadows the cherry juice a bit too much. If this were my first time going out with Bing I probably would not ask them out on a second date. As it stands I'll probably either be seeing Blackberry of Raz in the morning.

I could go for whatever a mai tai is right about now. A nice tropical trip to somewhere where there is a warm breeze, warm waters and no kids. Just sitting in a chair with no one talking to me for like an hour. No music or people trying to sell me an umbrella. No shirt. Just the wind and the waves, man. That and this mai tai.

This is certainly tropical. I don't know what else is in here but there are certainly orange. There is a picture of an orange and a pineapple and if I think hard enough, that's in here. This is great, though. It's really a well flavored little treat. A summer treat, but a treat nonetheless.

All my life I've hated blah blah blah. It wasn't until recently that I discovered that I have grown to like yadda yadda yadda. Sometimes our reviews sound like broken records, or to be more modern about it, like iPods on repeat. The thing is that after 4000+ reviews a lot of the beverages out there start to taste the same. This is especially true with a lot of juices and as I've recently discovered seltzer waters.

Sparkling waters may be flavored, but that flavoring is never in your face, and the base of them is all the same; carbonated water. Sanavi boasts that they are organic and I really didn't think it would make that much of a difference. I of course was wrong, like I usually am. While most other seltzer companies have a general generic fruit taste, this bottle of bubbly water tastes as if the blueberries had soaked in it for a long time. It tastes like real fruit, and there is nothing to complain about there. It's light, (accurately) fruity, and has zero calories, fat, sodium and sugar. It may not be promoting health, but it certainly is not detracting from it either.

Greg liked tea but he needed something more. He needed that sugar on his tongue. He needed some fizz but didn't like the syrupy soda pop taste. One day when walking through the city he found what he thought to be the perfect drink. It was a sweetened, carbonated tea. Not only was it tea but it was oolong tea so it was fancier to him. He promptly paid for it and went to the park to watch the dogs chase the birds.

He took one sip and instead of being thrilled and elated, he kind of sat silently on the bench. He had been let down again. This tea was carbonated and sweetened but it was just too much. It was so sweet that it took most of the tea flavor away. The entire time he drank it, he just wanted an unsweetened tea like he was used to more and more. It had a tea aftertaste but just tasted like a strangely carbonated cola. Almost like a less bubblegum champagne cola.

He dumped half of the bottle down the drain pet some dog's heads on the way out of the park and went home to his nagging girlfriend and cruddy cat. It was not Greg's finest day.

John learned a lot of worthless stuff in high school. He learned how to sew a plush bear, historical event that won't help anyone outside of a bar league quiz night and what happens when you put vinegar and baking soda together. He always enjoyed science but mixing household events just wasn't enough. He needed something else.

He went home, put on his dad's safety goggles, you know, for safety, and started mixing. He went in the pantry grabbed iced tea mix and a whole peach. He went into the liquor cabinet using the key that he has seen his dad blatantly hide beneath the globe in the living room dozens of times and grabbed seltzer water; something that didn't need to be in the liquor cabinet in the first place and put everything on the table.

He made a glass of iced tea, regular stuff, and hand squeezed a peach in to it and then carefully and delicately poured some seltzer into it. Once combined he took one sip, for science and discovered something very sad. All he had done was recreate Lipton Sparkling Peach Iced Tea. Not a total loss. He did had a nice glass of tea to drink but he also had quite a mess to clean up. Also, he had some 'splainin' to do because when his daddy got home he noticed that some of the seltzer was gone.

Summertime = Watermelons. Summertime = Hot Dogs. Summertime = Strawberries. That's what summertime means to me. Simple mathematics. Combining two of the three strategically makes one heck of a refreshing drink.

Thanks to Polar cracking the code as to which flavors work and which ones don't work, we now are presented with a wonderful little drink that encompasses two fantastic fruit flavors into a bold number. It's well and heavily infused with the fruits. A great entry-level seltzer.

Stop hating seltzer. Start enjoying summer.