Bluewater Farms - 4 Reviews

If American Pickers has taught me anything, it's the re-definition of "farm fresh." Farm fresh traditionally is associated with food and things like eggs that you get right out of that chicken and milk right out of that cow. For Mike and Frank, "farm fresh" means rusty, dusty and dirty. Sure, it's both right from the farm, but one you would eat and the other you would need a tetanus shot.

Mike and Frank would like this, though. Not only is it self-proclaimed "farm fresh" but, more importantly, it's really good. It's just the right amount of sweetness and I think that although grapefruit overpowers cranberry, they share the stage enough that both their name can be on the bill. Also, there are only four ingredients and you can guess them without me having to name it and that says a lot. They sent this to us but I bet it's not too cheap seeing is that they are using real flavor and no preservatives or flavors or pasteurization. All natural.

I would actually like a count on the amount of tetanus shots Mike and Frank have gotten. Anyone who can get me that number gets a internet-wide congratulations.

Yo man, I really need your help. I took...some stuff...and need to detox. I didn't take a lot but my boss is making me take a pee test and I'm afraid they're going to find it in my system and I'm going to get canned. Do you have anything like cranberry juice or something? You do have cranberry juice? That's awesome.

Oh wow. This is great. It's totally different than Ocean Spray. It's a lot of a lighter taste. I don't know if it's more water or less sugar but it's not. It's not so intense. Sometimes I cut my Ocean Spray with water because it's really strong. This is great as is, though.

Can I be honest with you, man? I didn't really do drugs. When you went into the bathroom, I went into your fridge and saw that you had the cranberry juice and didn't know if you would have just given it to me if I had asked. Yeah, I don't mind if you take that phone call.

Who was on the phone? Your boss? On a Saturday? What did he want? Oh, he's having drug tests on Monday and you took some stuff? What? I drank your last cranberry juice? Welp, I think I hear my mom calling me. I've got to go.

Normally when you get a flavored tea the ratio is along the lines of 85% tea 15% fruit flavor. That is unless it's some artificial garbage, then the ratio can be all over the place. This beverage is closer to an Arnold Palmer 50/50 split. It tastes like it's equal parts juice to tea. It's not what I'm used to, but it's pretty great. To be fair this is far from a sweet tea. In my world that is a very specific way of preparing iced tea. This is actually not abusively sweet. It's not overly tart, but it's not the cavity promoting wonderful swill that is sweet tea. Also, they actually use somewhat fancy tea in this as well. It's a blend of Orange Pekoe and Pekoe Cut Black Tea. That's higher up the tea chain than the normal every day black that is generally used in sweet tea. In summation it's not really sweet tea, and it's more juice than most teas, but neither of those are necessarily bad things and this is great.

Because I am a (self-proclaimed) scientist and I need to know how things work, I watched a video on juicing cranberries. I had thought there would be some process to this, but really people just dump the whole cranberry into a juicer. The important thing that I learned from watching this video is that very little juice comes from these little guys. In fact, it took over ½ pound of cranberries and oranges to create the juice that is in this 12oz bottle and it still has water added to it. That equals a lot of storage space for produce for a company making more than small batches of juice. I also imagine that they have some insanely large industrial juicer that could rip the water out of just about anything. You could juice a pine tree with the juicer I have envisioned in my mind. Pine juice anyone?

After all of that nonsense, this is a simple, delicious juice. It's just cranberries, oranges, sugar and water. Now the bottle says that it's naturally sweetened, so I had assumed that the sweetness of the fruit is what provided this. The ingredient list tells a different story of added sugar, which was a little bit of a disappointment until I thought about how tart this would be without it, as there is not much sugar in cranberries. It ends up only have in 18g of sugar anyway and it's not overly sweet at all. It tastes like fresh squeezed orange juice with a splash of cranberry in it. It's a perfect juice to accompany your breakfast.