Capt'n Eli's - 3 Reviews

I was planning on posting the lyrics to the They Might Be Giants song "The Cap'm" and changing some words so that it praised this root beer. Then I actually drank it, and even though I still wanted to I decided I couldn't lie to our dear readers.

This is one of the worst root beers I have ever tasted. It's very dark and creamy tasting. Normally I would associate both of those things with a good root beer, but someone the cap'm got it all wrong. It's actually a brewed soda, so I'm wondering if something was wrong with the batch I tried. I did a quick Google search and the reviews I found of it were all glowing. Some people even claim it to be one of their favorites. The three people I shared it with and myself couldn't disagree more. The fact that it got worst with each sip really makes me think it was a bad batch. Each sip tasted different and weird in a different way. By the bottom of the bottle the wintergreen oil was so prevalent that it almost tasted like a mint root beer. I normally love complex root beers, but this is all wrong. That's it I need to try another bottle of this.

Eli was no captain at all. In fact he was nothing but a little punk kid with no friends save for his parrot, Perry. You may find yourself asking, "Where did Eli befriend a tropical bird such as Perry?" I'm going to let you in on some intel about our little Eli; he's a bit of a troublemaker and a thief. Last summer he hopped a train down to Boston and stole Perry from a zoo while it was closed. No one knows how Eli got back up to Maine, or how he got the bird to come with him but here he is rowing his stupid little thief boat out to sea. Just a bit earlier he and Perry filled their rowboat up with strawberries that they stole from the back of the local Co-Op. As they were rowing away the manager overheard Perry squawking about bubbly water (He is a stupid parrot, so he repeats everything Eli says. It's said that Eli only hangs out with the parrot because he is such a narcissist.). Cases of carbonated water were constantly going missing from the local Whole Foods. The manager had his suspicions of Eli, but to him the word of that mangy bird was all he needed.

You see the end of all Eli's crime is that he is passionate about soda pop. He hated the gross syrupy sodas that he stole from the gas stations, so he took matters into his own hands. He found a cave down on a secluded beach, stole some vats and bottles and started brewing his own pop to his own specifications and tastes. Hi newest batch would be a strawberry soda that tasted more like those little strawberry candies whose wrappers look like the fruit. He wanted that in bubbly liquid form, but not so sickly sweet. Sadly Perry went nuts and overturned the boat. No one has seen Eli since. He was a menace to the town, but for some reason they missed him, so they brewed up a batch of strawberry soda for his send off. Since he had stolen all the actual strawberries they had to use artificial flavors, but I think they achieved their goal.

I have been waiting to try this bottle for a while now. I had heard good things about Capt'n Eli's soda so I was excited when I found this at Village Candy. The classic look of the label made me think this was going to be a premium ginger beer. Sadly, I was a bit let down. It's good, but not great in my opinion. It has a nice ginger flavor to it with a slight burn aftertaste. But it doesn't have the deep burn that I love with ginger beer. The kind of burn that makes my lips sting, and makes me wait minutes in-between sips.

So in a nutshell, good (not great) tasting ginger beer with a mild to slightly medium burn. I think the barrels that boy on the label is taking off with in the boat is the good stuff. Stupid kid.