Rainforest - 3 Reviews

On a recent trip to the rain forest, Carl got lost. He was in the forest and no it wasn't raining. He did have a khaki bucket hat on and a Hawaiian shirt on, so he fit the bill. He also had cargo shorts and boots on, so you know he was semi-pro. He wasn't in love with nature, but he felt that he had to make it to the rain forest once before he died. A few of his friends went down on a cruise and he wandered off and hasn't been seen for hours. He's known for that kind of crap.

Carl is in the forest, walking around. He's hearing sounds that he's never heard before and seeing monkeys just jumping from tree to tree. It's awesome. Lions are walking around all casual-like and there are scarlet macaws just whizzing by his head trying to take his dumb hat off. He's getting a little thirsty and thinks to himself, "Man, I'm getting thirsty. I wish I hadn't used my good water to wash some dirt off my hands." Just as he said that, he walked into a clearing. He squinted his eyes to adjust to the light and a small form came into focus. It was a tiny bar with one man at it. He walked up to it and sat down at one of the chairs. The bartender, who was washing one cup said, "What can I get you?" to which Carl responded, "What've you got?" The bartender gave him a look and then moved the sign, which had the two drinks that they served very easily readable printed on it. His choices were Rainforest citrus pop and tiger blood. He obviously chose the Rainforest pop.

"This is pretty good." he said, wiping the sweat from his head from wearing that dumb hat all day. "It tastes a little like a Sprite but a little bit more bitter, but in a good way," he said. "Can you buy this in America?" he said to the bartender. The bartender nodded "yes" and ducked down behind the bar, as if to say, "Carl, you have had your drink and I am done with you."

Carl, who knew when it was time to leave, left and just as he stood up, he could see the resort in the clearing and realized that he hadn't been lost in the rain forest, but he has been drunk and wandering around the resorts mini-golf course. Carl had the time of his life that day and it was mostly all in a drunken stupor. As he turned around, the mini bar and bartender were gone. He looked down in his hand and noticed that he still had the can of Rainforest citrus pop. "Strange" he said, as he walked back up the lynx to meet up with his friends.

You may ask yourself may questions when drinking this drink such as, "What is a tropifruit?" and "Is this made from Rainforest?" and the ever popular, "How can you be a carbonated drink and call yourself an anti soft drink?" I'm going to answer these questions three for you right here and now.

What is a tropifruit
Tropifruit is apparently a slew of "tropical fruits" including mango, passion fruit, and guava. The flavor is there of the fruits, but there is something else going on. A bit of an over saturation of...something. Remember in seventh grade when you were in science class and you learned about over saturation by putting salt into a glass of water? Some of it would mix in but as soon as you added too much, it would start to accumulate and coagulate on the bottom or top. I found that happening in this can. I don't know if it was the fruit flavors or the other natural ingredients but I found that there was a bit of "too muchery" in there.

Is this made from a Rainforest?
Hardly. The company actually donates money from each purchase of their product to save the rainforest. That is an ambitious task and should not be overlooked.

How can you be a carbonated drink and call yourself an anti soft drink?
That's a good question. I believe it's because they actually have green tea, ginseng, and or "tried and true" traditional ingredients including a couple new cats like Stevia, which I think was laid on a little thick and gives this drink a very sweet taste. It's all-natural so, as opposed to most other soft drinks, it ranks pretty high in the ingredient department.

I'm on the fence about this one. On one side, the fruit flavor is good, they do well for the environment, and the drink is kind of good for you but on the other side, the sweetener and extra ingredients kind of take away from an otherwise good drink. I'm torn. What do you think?

It smells like a cola. It starts to taste like a cola but then it, like so many cars in James Bond films, drives right off the side of a cliff and explodes leaving nothing but the burnt shell of a car that once was. It starts to get that strange acai flavor and then, right when you thought it was over, the Stevia kicks in for the kidney kick that wasn't needed or warranted in any way. The initial cola is kind of like a diet Pepsi and then the rest of it is like...kissing a girl who at night seems like she could be attractive but then you see her in the daylight and she's upwards of the grossest girl you've ever seen. Been there? Me too. Now twice.