Apple & Eve Lemonade

What better time to drink lemonade than the tail end of December where it's snowing and cold and wet? You've endured summer. You've conquered fall. Now you've got the cold slapping you if the face like you fell asleep in church and the priest comes over and wakes you up. How do they get away with that? If I had a kid and sent him to a Catholic school, an action I would never do, and a nun hit him, I might push her up against a wall like one of those tough guys in movies where they shove nerds or geeks up against a locker, make a loud noise, and take lunch money. Don't touch my kid, nuns, you jerks.

I'm reviewing lemonade and talking about abusing nuns. Fantastic. Happy holidays. Nun, I'm not sorry that I pushed you up against a locker and made all the kids stop in their tracks, but who do you think you are? Have a lemonade, you old coot. It's good because it's not made with any artificial ingredients and tastes like the lemonade you make at home, not like the lemonade that you make your slave kids sell to not buy new bibles and invest in getting Father Whatshisface a new Lexus RX330, which, by the way, is a woman's car. It's not too sweet, something I already know you can relate to, and not undersweetened which you are.

If nuns are teachers from God? Then are public school teachers "teachers from Satan?" If so, you can expect to see my son bowing down along with Anton LaVey all the while not taking religion class and, in exchange, taking legitimate science classes. I say good day to you, nun.