BodyArmor Super Drink Raspberry Blueberry Goji

Dude Mikey you're totally getting slaughtered in your D&D campaign. Every hit you take is nearly killing you. You really need to step up your defense. That elf just slapped you and it took away half of your remaining hit points. That is no way to live my friend. You should probably down this Body Armor drink. It says right on the bottle that it's made to “prevent and protect.” I imagine that it will turn your game right around and you can crush that backhanding elf. What do you mean that's not the way the game works? This stuff is chock full of ingredients that will protect you. There's even a little chart on the label that tells you what's in it to help you recover and it also will keep you hydrated because of the coconut water and various other things it contains. I mean sure the goji berry overpowers any other flavor that is supposed to be contained within and makes you think that oxidants are running away in fear, but isn't that what you wanted; to be safe and to recover? What do you mean that you appreciate the drink, but that's not how the game works? What are you talking about dice for? Wait, you have to roll dice to decide on your levels. Well that just seems boring. I just wanted to deal with some sweet dragons. Apparently that's never going to happen here because you're now deceased due to a slight breeze. Learn to roll your dice better next time.