Coca-Cola Lemon

Coca-Cola Lemon
It's over. It's finally over. Ladies and gentlemen, Christmas 2011 has come to a close. I for one couldn't be happier. I spent the last two days not in my house but about twenty-five miles in every other direction and also in my car. Look, I am not a grinch. Sure, I hate getting presents but that's mostly because I'm a piece of crap who doesn't deserve anything but at the same time is self-sufficient and if I want something, I'll work my butt off to get it. I'm terrible at receiving gifts for that reason and I know that I would be much happier if no one bought me anything. I asked for one thing this year and I got it. Do you know what it is? Whisky stones. I don't always put my drinks in the fridge and don't want to put my drinks in a glass with ice because the ice will melt and skew my drinking experience. Yes, a Thirsty Dudes item was the only item on my wish list. I don't at all feel spoiled because I got everything that I asked for because I go the whole year not asking for anything and therefore making it near impossible to buy for but do you know what? Back to square one; I don't deserve anything and if I want it, I'll buy it myself.

In continuance, I spent the last thirty-six hours in my car apparently just picking up nothing short of a million toys for my ten-month-old son who made out like a G.D. bandit on his first Christmas. Toys. Clothes. Food. The whole gamut. My car was filled to the brim with so much stuff that I took up space where the dogs were sitting and also had to leave stuff at my parent's house because the dogs simply wouldn't have had a place to go.

Exhausted after remove what seemed like ten thousand pounds of bags and boxes from my car, I was quite thirsty. I grabbed a can of Coca-Cola that Derek's daddy brought back from Thailand on a recent trip to do whatever the heck he does over there. I had the vanilla and it was great and I knew that the lemon was not going to be as good. I was right. It's not a good "right" when you win when something is worse and you know it. It was fine. It tastes like lemony Coke, but it didn't keep me coming back like it should have. So much, in fact, that when my girlfriend, hot on a cleaning purge, dumped half the can down the drain, I wasn't upset. I got what I needed for the review and who needs to drink a can of cola right before bed? Not me, friend.

Christmas is over. I think that deserves more fanfare than Christmas approaching. If your family got you lemon Coke, it won't go in the return pile, but it might win by a hair from the dreaded "re-gift" pile.
Soda Pop
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Mike Literman on 12/26/11, 12:06 AM
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