Ikea Dryck Lingon Lingonberry

Ikea Dryck Lingon Lingonberry
Wait a second. You mean to tell me that burglars came in and stole your bed, desk, lamps, shelves, entertainment cabinet and left you electronics and cash? That's strange and a heck of a waste of their time and efforts. If anything, it's a blessing in disguise, since all your furnishings were garbage. Dude, seriously. That bed was a hand me down from your grandma and that's gross at best. You should have paid that burglar a movers wage and bought him and his numbskull team a pizza. So what now? You've got a day off, $1000 in cash, and you're handy with an allen key? Wicked, get in the Escort. I know, I know. I am working of getting a new car. I've got a lead on a great 1992 Ford Probe. Yes, it does have a different color passenger rear view mirror. We're going to Ikea. It will be an adventure of Swedish proportions!

Alright, grab that strange, unpronounceable bookshelf, bed frame, desk, and end table. Sweet. What did that run you? Only $950? Cool. Hey, I'm hungry. Let's go get some of those baby meatballs and...oh...what's this? An adorable lil' lingonberry juice box? Count me in. Dude, did you try this? It's like a watered down cranberry juice but it doesn't suck. It's not cheeky like cranberry juice and I can chug this, watch. Ohh, dude. It's everywhere. I shouldn't have thought that I could blindly aim that little straw. Good thing I'm driving because I am quite sticky.
Mike Literman on 1/17/11, 7:51 PM
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