Lotte Sac Sac Orange

Lotte Sac Sac Orange
Here I am stuck out in the middle of nowhere. I decided to rent this cabin for a week because I ran across an ad that had a picture of the most wondrous looking cabin with flowers everywhere in the yard. Apparently that picture was taken in 1972 because this place is a dump. There are mice turds everywhere and the ceiling is caving in on one of the rooms. I guess I should have known better as it was only $100 for the week. Ugh. The ad boasted that you would have the cleanest mountain water to drink from the well on the property. I wanted to get back to nature, so I packed light…€¦I mean real light. I brought one change of clothes, a knife, a flashlight and some beans and rice to cook over a fire. The problem is that since this ad has been running since before I was a fetus, it didn't take into consideration that the well has run dry. Here I am in a dilapidated cabin…€¦okay, let's be fair this is a shack at best and I have no water and no means to cook the limited food that I brought.

I found a hatch in the floor of the shed that led to some sort of makeshift basement pantry. There were a bunch of canned fruits and vegetables down there. I thought I was saved, but upon opening them most were completely spoiled. The only thing that I could find to eat was a jar of mandarin oranges. Those lasted me all of two minutes. I have been nursing the syrupy juice that was keeping them fresh though. It's like drinking a mandarin orange juice, with a decent helping of sugar added to it. It's not that bad, and sometimes I get a little strand of orange in the juice. Finding this cellar and it's contents gave me a little hope, but I am now certain that I will die in these woods. If only I could survive I might try to market this juice. I would call it Sac Sac. Don't ask why, I am delirious in a state of hunger. What do you mean, “Why don't I just drive back to civilization?” I'll tell you why, I am in touch with the Earth and I'll be damned if I can't survive off of the land for a week. One measly week! Why am I talking to a jar of spoiled pickled eggs? More importantly why is it asking me questions. All hops is truly lost.
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Jason Draper on 8/15/13, 12:39 PM
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