Polar Premium Root Beer

Deep in the not so frozen tundra of Worcester, MA there is a factory where the locals have imprisoned a team of polar bears and they force them to make soda pop. They originally made their own beverages, but they realized that they weren't quite up to snuff. So traps and snares were laid and polar bears were transported to the north east of America. Hence he Polar premium line was born. Those bears worked tirelessly on different formulas and recipes until they had created a surprisingly dark root beer with a huge head on it (due to the addition of quiaia extract). It has a nice vanilla flavor, and you can taste bits of caramel in the aftertaste. The problem wasn't making the soda. It was getting people to give it a try. You see, their old line was seen by people as more or less on par with store brand. It was cheap and available everywhere. They knew it would take some time and some marketing, but once people tried the soda they would be hooked, or so the bears told them. As we all know, bears know best. They whispered in my ear what to write in this review. It probably just comes off as the ramblings of a mad man, but who am I to argue with some gigantic polar bears?