High Fructose Corn Syrup - 485 Reviews

Jeez. You know how you've got real strawberries, right? Strawberries are an actual fruit and they're pretty good as-is. If you covered them in sugar, you would have the candy version of strawberries. Take that same rock-solid methodology to pineapples, some of the best fruit that ever touched this earth, and you've got this drink. Holy crap it is sweet. It tastes like candied pineapples, like pineapple candy. I had some pineapples for lunch, alright, one off of someone's plate, and I can say for certainly that it didn't taste like this. It would have had I poured a packet of sugar on it, but who would do that? Idiots and kids, that's who.

Don't mess with a good thing, India the beverage company not the country. Pineapples are great. If you want to make pineapple pop, just add carbonated water to pineapple juice. No sugar. You'll go and ruin it and no one likes a ruiner. The third album "Ruiner" from A Wilhelm Scream, on the other hand, everyone should like, as it's gold.

When I showed someone a picture of this, they said, "My teeth hurt just looking at that". Rightfully so, this drink is ridiculously sweet. I have described many drinks as tasting like Jolly Ranchers so I was pretty excited to try this branded soda. Did they pull it off? Of course they did, it's their recipe! Despite the overloading sweet taste, I really like how tangy this is. I wasn't expecting it, but it almost has a sour aftertaste that's pretty awesome. Even though it's hard to drink this all in one sitting due to the sweetness, I'm looking forward to trying the other flavors now.

This has LAN party written all over it. Then again, I could see this going one of two ways in the eyes of a gamer.

"Whoa! I love Mountain Dew AND Call of Duty! I gotta get this so I can drink it during that tournament my clan is entering next week!"

OR

"How clichè. Do they think they're going to sell more just by tying it in with COD: MW3? Let me guess, next Monster is going to release a special flavor to drink while you play Skyrim?"

Say what you will about game/movie tie-ins, if it brings a new flavor to our shelves I'm all for it. Given the color and the fact that it's flavor is "citrus cherry", I was expecting it to just be Code Red. They did add a little more citrus to the mix, but it's basically Code Red with more citrus and less cherry. I actually like it better than Code Red.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some gaming to do.

Who would have guessed that Goya would make a decent apple soda? Not me, that's who. Their fruit sodas tend to be by the book generic pop, almost to the level of store brand. Can I also take a moment to vent on how I think it's wasteful when companies spend the money to package their sodas in glass bottles, yet don't shell out the extra cash to use a decent sweetener? This is all corn syrup, and that really might be it's only downfall.

It's carbonated apple juice, and it tastes great. It really reminds me a lot of the various apple sodas I've had from Europe. The downfall is the thickness of it due to HFCS. Had they used cane sugar, this easily would have been a high four. Instead it stays at a respectable three.

Today we announced that the winning name for our "name our mascot" contest was "Sir Durstig." The fine folks over at The Rootbeer Brothers came up with the name and we salute them for it. Their response was for us to grab our finest root beer and drink it in celebration. I tried, but what I grabbed certainly wasn't my best root beer, but it was the only one that I had that was already cold.

When I took my first sip I was nicely surprised at how dark and full-bodied it tasted. I was even more shocked when I looked at the ingredients and saw that it was sweetened with HFCS. Then I noticed that it has molasses in it and I understood and smiled. I want molasses in more root beers. The more I drank the less impressed I was. The molasses flavored remained with every sip, but the complexity of the root beer quality of it faltered. It seemed to get weaker and weaker with every sip, until I only had about a fifth of the bottle left. At that point it got stronger, but still not to the level that I wanted it to be.

This had the potential to be one incredible root beer, but when root beer extract is one of the ingredients I guess I shouldn't have expected much. This certainly wouldn't satisfy a tiny bear cub, let alone a full grown big bear.

For years Arizona ruled the cheap tea game. It was the go to refreshment at any gas station or corner store. Around the turn of the century it was the hay day of basement punk and hardcore shows in Buffalo, NY. My friends and I spent a large chunk of time hanging out on Custer Street. The closest place to get drinks was a gas station a few blocks away and everyone either bought beer or Arizona. There was a point in my life where on an average I was drinking 3-4 cans a day. Now that is an unhealthy diet.

Eventually the houses that had the shows started shutting down, and around the same time (unrelated) I all but gave up drinking high fructose corn syrup (it was destroying my stomach). As a result I stopped drinking Arizona. Whenever I go back to it now, I always wonder what made me think it was so great. The conclusions I have come to are it was a lot of tea for a low price, and I was ignorant of how could iced tea could be.

I remember getting super pumped whenever a new flavor would come out. It's sad that the Half & Half Mango Iced Tea came out a few years ago and this is the first time I've tried it. It tastes more like a sugar fruit drink with a little tea added to it than an equally distributed half & half. I was shocked that this actually had mango puree in it. You can definitely taste that. I just wish that it had more of a tea flavor.

I still have a soft spot for Arizona, but I don't pretend that it is a magical elixir anymore. It's simply cheap tea that is mass-produced that comes in containers larger than any one person should drink in a single sitting.

Dear Mexico,

It's nice to know that you and I have finally met. I have wanted to visit you for a long time. I would say that as long as I've known that tacos come from you I have wanted to visit your arid region. I don't mean that in a sexual way, and if this pen were erasable, I would have taken care of that potential double entendre. Since it is essentially written in stone, you're going to have to live with it knowing that I did not mean it.

Moving on, your locale was wonderful. If I was in the market for a 70's Volkswagen Beetle or a 90's Jeep Wrangler, I know that if I can't find one in these United States, I can always go to your area and find a trillion. I did not have a lot of time to spend on your shores and for that reason, I missed out on picking up some of your homegrown Barrilitos. You keep things simple there. Here in the states there is all sorts of marinating, saturating, and other food and drink related activities that happen that take up all our free time. You make a product like Barrilitos and take a siesta. I am envious of your "laid back" lifestyle. This drink just tastes like carbonated apple juice. Apple juice is great. Pop is great. Putting them both together is great. Tacos are the best food ever and everything can basically be taken out of can and dumped onto a tortilla; that is if you are alright with everything being cold.

In closing. I already miss you. I didn't know it got as cold as it did when we were together, but that's because I am geographically retarded and don't know what happens south of Buffalo in terms of weather patterns and no, I don't mean South Buffalo. I know what happens there and it's nothing good, I can assure you that. I hope you are having a great time without me and I know one day we will be together drinking nice glass bottles of Coke and Barrilitos.

Sincerely,
Mike Literman

Ma'am I have to admit that you're not inviting me to your party. Here I am slaving away at this grocery store for your benefit. I've bagged a full satchel of hot dogs and you have about 30 cases of grape soda. It's obvious to everyone present that you are about to have a barbeque of gigantic proportions. This is a small town ma'am and with that amount of food I can only assume that everyone around here has been invited except me. Was that an oversight, or have I done something to offend you are your family? If I have I apologize, and I can assure you it wasn't intentional. I didn't even know that I did it. Come on ma'am don't lie to me you're obviously having a party. The only reason anyone would buy that much soda was if they loved it so much and it wasn't in production any more. In a similar vein the only other reason anyone would buy that many hot dogs was if they had some weird compulsion that they needed to bath in blended up hot dogs. What? You do have that infliction? I'm sorry ma'am I didn't mean to offend or embarrass you. I really thought you were having a barbeque ma'am.

Okay ma'am that explains the hot dogs, but what's up with the grape soda if I may be so bold as to ask? You just love it? Well, I guess that's understandable. It just tastes like generic grape soda to me. You know like a carbonated melted freezie pop with an obscene amount of sugar added. I understand buy maybe a case if you like it that much, but you have so much it's going to be hard to fit this in your car. Oh your hot dog bath is going to last a month and you want to make sure you stay hydrated during that time. Ma'am I think there may be something seriously wrong with you. I highly suggest you talk to a physical before amercing yourself in a hotdog milkshake for a month, while only nourishing yourself with mediocre grape soda. Yes ma'am I know I'm just a bag boy. No I do not have a medical degree. You know what ma'am have a good day, and have fun in your hot dog tomb. I'm pretty sure this is the last time anyone will ever see you alive, or with teeth.

I'm pretty certain that the cartoon cat on this bottle may have been modeled after Mike. He's got the swimming trunks, the white shoes, the wrap around shades, it looks like he has a beard, and most importantly it has a look of complete apathy about what is happening around it. That cat is in a good place and it's not going to let outside factors ruin his time. It may take some work though because he appears to be drinking a bottle of this self same orange soda (which has a picture of him on it holding a bottle of the self same orange soda, so on and so forth). If I know this cat like I know Mike, then I can assure you this cat loves hot dogs (and writing over 100 songs about barbeques). I can only assume that he is about to eat half his body weight in hot dogs, and is planning on enjoying this soda to wash them down. Yes it is a scientific fact that orange soda is the perfect beverage to accompany hot dogs, read a book!

Mike cat is going to love those hot dogs. In fact he may go back for more to eat his entire body weight. He is going to be disappointed about his beverage selection though. Look, I've eaten a lot of hot dogs in my life, so it stands to reason that I have also drank a lot of orange soda. It's a fairly low quality flavor of pop. It doesn't give you much to work with, but you don't expect much and that is the beauty of it. DG has somehow managed to make generic orange pop taste off. It starts off just as you would expect it to, but then it fades into lemon-lime territory for some reason. I also feel like there is way more citric acid in each bottle than necessary. I hope Mike cat brought a backup because this isn't going to do what he needs to get done. Maybe he doubled up the DG and brought some of their tasty ginger beer.

It's over. It's finally over. Ladies and gentlemen, Christmas 2011 has come to a close. I for one couldn't be happier. I spent the last two days not in my house but about twenty-five miles in every other direction and also in my car. Look, I am not a grinch. Sure, I hate getting presents but that's mostly because I'm a piece of crap who doesn't deserve anything but at the same time is self-sufficient and if I want something, I'll work my butt off to get it. I'm terrible at receiving gifts for that reason and I know that I would be much happier if no one bought me anything. I asked for one thing this year and I got it. Do you know what it is? Whisky stones. I don't always put my drinks in the fridge and don't want to put my drinks in a glass with ice because the ice will melt and skew my drinking experience. Yes, a Thirsty Dudes item was the only item on my wish list. I don't at all feel spoiled because I got everything that I asked for because I go the whole year not asking for anything and therefore making it near impossible to buy for but do you know what? Back to square one; I don't deserve anything and if I want it, I'll buy it myself.

In continuance, I spent the last thirty-six hours in my car apparently just picking up nothing short of a million toys for my ten-month-old son who made out like a G.D. bandit on his first Christmas. Toys. Clothes. Food. The whole gamut. My car was filled to the brim with so much stuff that I took up space where the dogs were sitting and also had to leave stuff at my parent's house because the dogs simply wouldn't have had a place to go.

Exhausted after remove what seemed like ten thousand pounds of bags and boxes from my car, I was quite thirsty. I grabbed a can of Coca-Cola that Derek's daddy brought back from Thailand on a recent trip to do whatever the heck he does over there. I had the vanilla and it was great and I knew that the lemon was not going to be as good. I was right. It's not a good "right" when you win when something is worse and you know it. It was fine. It tastes like lemony Coke, but it didn't keep me coming back like it should have. So much, in fact, that when my girlfriend, hot on a cleaning purge, dumped half the can down the drain, I wasn't upset. I got what I needed for the review and who needs to drink a can of cola right before bed? Not me, friend.

Christmas is over. I think that deserves more fanfare than Christmas approaching. If your family got you lemon Coke, it won't go in the return pile, but it might win by a hair from the dreaded "re-gift" pile.

It's times like this that I wish we had been more specific when we started Thirsty Dudes. You know, like just pop or just iced tea. That would be a good life, just reviewing iced tea. Nope, we decided to take on the entire non-alcoholic beverage world and because of that choice I sit here now drinking Tampico.

First off, there is no possible way that this started off as a juice. I can only assume they started with a vat of water and added some agents to thicken it up a bit. Then they added a tiny amount of juice concentrate and some artificial flavors. Oh let's not forget the mass amount of corn syrup that was added as well. The result is as much of a juice as Sunny Delight is. It really actually reminds me of a slightly thinner Sunny D, except it's supposed to be mango flavored instead of straight orange. I'll stick with real juice, and dreams of a world where iced tea reigns supreme.

In Eastern Pennsylvania there is a small, but growing, subculture. They call themselves "Hillbilos." Their entire culture is based around two things; Music that is played on jugs, washbasins and saws that is rapped over and treating every member of the subculture as family. At the center of this group is the band the "Lunatic Miners Unit" or LMU for short. It is not uncommon for followers of this band, and lifestyle to paint their face with dirt and wear over-sized dirty overalls.

For some reason Hillbilos are obsessed with Day's soda. It's a staple of their diet, and for some followers it seems to be the only thing they ingest other than filth. They spray it all over each other at their hoedowns, and it's basically their only means of washing themselves. It's a strange site to behold and their culture seems to be spreading like wildfire throughout the northeast. Soon they will have infected the entire United States.

Yup, this is basically PA's version of Faygo. It's a fairly generic soda that comes in a whole slew of different flavors. It's pop in the carbonated sugar water sense. In this variety the vanilla aspect is fairly similar, and you don't really notice it until you think about what the straight up cherry flavored Day's soda would taste like. It unfortunately suffers from tasting vaguely like cough syrup. The soda companies of the world should really put together a lawsuit against the cough medicine companies. They have certainly ruined a perfectly good flavor for everyone. I really wanted this to be better than it was because the label is incredible looking. As it stands it's pretty average. I guess you shouldn't expect more for $.75 for a 24oz bottle.

I've never hated A&W. I mean, it's root beer. It's really hard to hate root beer. Who also doesn't love aged vanilla? I actually don't know the taste difference between new, crisp vanilla and old, moldy vanilla. I do know that this is a smooth, lil' can of root beer that I would drink again. I enjoy these short stack cans and I enjoy slamming one without thinking twice about a calorie count.

This tastes like a slightly dark root beer and you can taste the vanilla. I don't know where Dan got this, but now that I've drank it, I'll probably see it everywhere like when you buy a car no one else owns and then, all of a sudden, everyone has one.

Editor Dan saw this and bought it for us. I was lucky enough to have won it in the raffle when we all got together. I am happy I won. I am happy that it was good. A&W should be happy that they did so well in this review. I have nothing bad to say about it. Real sugar would have gotten you a five in my book.

It's simple math folks. Triple XXX = "XXX XXX XXX." It's like kids who first get into the straight edge culture and over compensate with a million X's everywhere. My friends and I were dumb like that when we were younger. I understand it. I'm also older now and I don't feel a need to put a single X on anything let alone a couple dozen. Even though that is true I have to admit that the triple X on this bottle made the memory of 16 year old me a little giddy. When I used to go to parties everyone would be drinking beer, and I'd be drinking root beer. Even though I'm 99.9999% sure this company has no ties to any subculture (It was originally made by a family owned restaurant) I'd like to pretend that it's embracing straight edge. It also got me excited that the bottle claims it "Tastes like root beer used to taste."

The label leaves much to be desired, so even though I liked the idea of this root beer my hopes were pretty low. If this bottle were a CD it looks like it would go straight to the "cut out bin." My mom was right. Looks can be deceiving. This is a pretty darn good root beer. It has an IBC-esque flavor, but darker and bolder. I think it falls somewhere between lower level fancy root beer and some real deal cowboy brew. It's got a somewhat decent bite and a nice vanilla aftertaste, which is a nice pleasant surprise. Now excuse me. I need to find my extras thick Sharpie, so I can draw some huge X's on my hand and dance around my room like an idiot to some terrible bands from the 90's.

An aptly named beverage. I feel like I've had this tea before. In fact I'm sure of it. Oh wait no, it's just because it tastes like Lipton Brisk. It has that sort of tea flavor that is not actually from brewed tea and is sweetened with HFCS. I don't hate it. I definitely prefer brewed teas, but I wouldn't turn this down if it were offered to me. Sometimes generic tasting stuff has its place.

Oh a side note I once read that deja vu is caused when your brain misfires and stores a new memory in the area of your brain that past memories are normally stored. I found that very interesting as it happens to me all the darn time.

Baron Von Ginseng rides again! He has yet again narrowly escaped the Allied Forces to spread his dirt flavored health benefits another day. The Allies had him cornered in a soda complex somewhere in the south of Poland. They thought there was no escape for him, but when they searched the grounds he was nowhere to be found. The only vehicle that left was a truck full of cola. They searched the truck and decided that the Baron was not on board so they let it make its delivery. With him not being on the grounds anymore it is believed that he must have fused himself with the cola. A true trickster indeed. The Forces would like to make a statement to warn civilians that Baron Von Ginseng is heavily armed and should be considered dangerous. One would believe that you would notice him in your cola on first sip. One might ask "How would I not notice the flavor of a potted plant in my refreshing soda?" The truth is that he is a master of disguise and our top scientists believe that the cola may neutralize his naturally disgusting taste. It would still taste slightly earthy, but the cola flavor would reign supreme (to the chagrin of the Baron). Be aware that what you may be ingesting is a refreshing naturally earthy flavored cola that has the benefits of ginseng. It's a strange world out there and you should always be on the lookout.

Leave it to huckleberry to be the standout in a completely average line of sodas. Now don't get all upset, I didn't say they were bad. Every flavor I've had has been decent, but they just don't stand up and yell in my face that I need to drink them again or else they may kill my entire family with their awesomeness. I think it's also safe to say that if huckleberry was a more common flavor this would also seem mediocre, but as it stands I've only had two other companies version of this fruit pop. This may be my least favorite of the three, but I would still choose it over almost all other "every day" pops. The flavor falls somewhere between grenadine and grape. It's like a Shirley Temple with a splash of grape juice mixed in, except you know....better than it sounds.

I always find it strange when companies have zero presence on the internet. It really takes two seconds to set up something online to help promote your product. Perhaps the Pearson boys want to keep it local, after all we can only assume it's a family company. Hopefully this review won't cause one, or all, of them to take a leap off the bridge featured on their labels.

This is a pretty bad cream soda. I actually feel weird even calling it a cream soda because it tastes more like "caramel color" than anything. It tastes like they had started putting the ingredients together to make a cola and changed their mind halfway through. It tastes like it has everything that makes a cola a cola minus whatever it is that gives it a bite. Instead of said ingredient they put in the smallest amount of vanilla. Actually that's it. This tastes like a vanilla coke, minus some key ingredients. The closer to the bottom of the bottle I get the more vanilla I taste, but for the first 3/4 of it I had to think pretty hard to see if I actually tasted it.

First off, what is going on with this bottle? It looks like it was left too close to an open flame and it melted. I know there are a lot of cool ergonomical bottles out there, but this really just makes no sense. It's not comfortable to hold and I really just feel like it's going to slip out of my hands every time I pick it up. Whoever drew up the plans for this is more than likely scouring the paper looking for a new job.

Secondly, this is a very appropriate name. It's very peachy (and a bit on the melon side as well) and it really tastes like I should be drinking this at a beach. The oppressive sun is beating down and I'd doing the best to find some shade so that my skin won't combust. I'm failing, as per usual, but at least I have this nice ice-cold juice to cool me down. Sure it tastes like fake peaches and melon, but hey who wants real juice at the beach. When you're knee deep in sand you want a party drink, and that is what Mistic provides. It's just too bad that in the time it took me to write that last sentence it went from ice cold to body temperature.

Bad bottle. Appropriate name. Average taste.

I belong to the 1%. No, not the 1% of high income/making all the decision. I am in the 1% of people in the world that prefer RC Cola to Coke or Pepsi. I respect the monarchy. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I bow before the king and queen of cola, but out of the three companies I would go with RC every time.

It has more of a "natural" cola taste then it's mainstream competitors. To me it's not as harsh and the cola taste sticks around instead of a general sugary taste. You know that quasi-earthy taste. I love it. It's a bummer that it's not available around Western New York any more.