Coconut - 141 Reviews

This is something that we don't normally do over here at Thirsty Dudes; explain the origin of a drink. Not history as much as the story of how we got it.

About a month ago I was contacted by Krish from India. He introduced this drink to us. I was honestly about to write it off because I though the guy was trying to give us coconuts, but it turns out that I can't read and he was telling me about a drink that is pure coconut.

I apologized for being a stupid idiot, gave him the address and he shipped it out. About a week later, a package came, and what a package:




I have never seen a package like this. It was woven in some sort of cloth. Hand stitched closed and it was done well. This guy was a pro. As I opened it, I thought to myself, "There could very easily be a finger in here. I hope there's not a finger in here." Once I got the woven layer off, there was a paper cover. I removed that to find that there was a box a Christmas lights. I found that odd, but promptly opened it up. There were paper shavings and inside was a small bottle of coconut water. "Pfew", I thought to myself. Now that this isn't a finger or any other sort of appendage, I decided to put it in the fridge and wait for the right time.

A few days later and with no real rhyme or reason, I thought that now would be a good time. I pried off the cap to reveal a little divot where a straw would be perfect but since I didn't think of that, I put a knife in it, opened it up, and started drinking.

There is nothing in this but coconut and "bio-preservatives" which I can only assume are natural preservatives that will allow the coconut water to keep longer than two days. It's good, too. It's exactly like what I would think cracking a coconut open and pouring it into an adorable container would taste like. The super light, inherent, natural sweetness of coconut mixed with its dry flavor is actually pretty good.

Now obviously if you find this stuff, it's not going to come inside an adventure of a container and I was lucky enough to have Kirsh take the time to send it to me, but you will get the same great drink inside. Want to take a trip to an island but don't have the money? Find this stuff, go to a home improvement store and buy some sand, and don't forget the umbrella toothpicks. I hope that you can get it at some sort of Indian market. Perhaps I can get Kirsh to comment and let you know where in the States and abroad you can get it.

Yesterday I went on a boat. I am not good at boats. I took some Dramamine in hopes that it would eliminate my sickness but the seas were rough that day, my friend. Up and down and up and down. I tried that trick where you look at the horizon but it was to no avail. I was feeling ill and no amount of worthless medicine could help. If anything, the Dramamine made me nothing but tired and antisocial. In retrospect, I would have rather not taken the medicine, thrown up, and been done with it. Atop of that, we decided to bring Max, my ever pleasant/jerk son who decided to cry half the time.

Here we are, post boat, and I feel awful. My head is spinning and I can't do anything about it, but I hate taking medicine and refuse. I really don't know why I took that Dramamine. I need something to fix me. I reached for some Body Armor in hope that it can truly "prevent and protect" me from any further feelings of disgust.

I was surprised to see that coconut worked his pasty white face into this drink. I couldn't taste him (gross) but he was in the mix. There are also a handful of vitamins and minerals to keep you "right" but I didn't get a lot of either cranberry or citrus. Maybe a little of each, but not enough to really call it "Cranberry Citrus". Had they just called "Prevent + Protect" that would have been different because I wouldn't go in expecting anything.

The taste isn't bad but you know that there is something in there that is good for you because the flavor isn't that of a juice. Maybe that's coconut man rearing his head, blending with tasty things and mixing them all up. It a bold, fruity flavor but don't expect a juice because you couldn't be more wrong.

My headache is still here and this drink didn't do anything except quench my thirst. You know what cures headaches? Sleep. You know what doesn't cure headaches? Blaring SikTh's "Death of a Dead Day", which is what I'm doing now.

I had high hopes for this drink. Zico has had a good track record so far and made us Thirsty Dudes give coconut water another shot. On top of that, pomegranate is one of my favorite fruits. Both are fairly tropical so I figured this would be a good combo, right?

Meh. I wouldn't go as far as saying it's a bad combo, but it's not amazing. This has more of a coconut water flavor, but not a whole lot pomegranate (or berry) flavor to it. There is a slight fruit after taste, but not as much as I would have hoped. This is still one of the best coconut waters I've had, but when something is flavored I assume it's going to be a strong flavor and not just a hint.

Dude Mikey you're totally getting slaughtered in your D&D campaign. Every hit you take is nearly killing you. You really need to step up your defense. That elf just slapped you and it took away half of your remaining hit points. That is no way to live my friend. You should probably down this Body Armor drink. It says right on the bottle that it's made to “prevent and protect.” I imagine that it will turn your game right around and you can crush that backhanding elf. What do you mean that's not the way the game works? This stuff is chock full of ingredients that will protect you. There's even a little chart on the label that tells you what's in it to help you recover and it also will keep you hydrated because of the coconut water and various other things it contains. I mean sure the goji berry overpowers any other flavor that is supposed to be contained within and makes you think that oxidants are running away in fear, but isn't that what you wanted; to be safe and to recover? What do you mean that you appreciate the drink, but that's not how the game works? What are you talking about dice for? Wait, you have to roll dice to decide on your levels. Well that just seems boring. I just wanted to deal with some sweet dragons. Apparently that's never going to happen here because you're now deceased due to a slight breeze. Learn to roll your dice better next time.

Mr. Coconut, why are you smiling like that? Are you hiding something from me? Really? You're not going to talk? You're just going to stare at me with that creepy smile? Great...

Before we crack you open Mr. "Creepy Smile" Coconut, I'm going to read what's on the back of you. Apparently inside you is "Sparking & Functional Coconut Water". The functional part is a little intriguing. It says you are functional in three ways: Replenish, Repair, and Revitalize. I'll take your word on those, I'm more interested in how you taste.

I can't believe you still have that creepy smile on your face. You know I'm about to open you up and drink what's inside you right? Fine. Be that way. I've never tasted sparkling coconut water before; this is a first for me. I must say that I really like it. It's light and refreshing and has a green tea aftertaste. Despite your creepy smile Mr. Coconut, you are one hell of a drink!

It's been months now since the Robbins family got stranded on the desert island (yes there is only one on the face of this planet). Margie, the mother of the group, has created an ingenious system where she boils the seawater with a plastic tarp over it so that the water evaporated away from the salt and the steam traveled down the tarp into a separate container to make it drinkable. While she insured their survival with her scientific skills, all they had to drink was bland, slightly salty water. Their thoughts constantly floated to the idea of fancy sodas, even a jug of ghetto tea would be a dream come true. Alas, all they have is mom's water.

Then one day the kids were out on my beach. Sally, the daughter, was leaning against a tree reading the autobiography of Steve Guttenberg, because it's the only book they have on the island. Bobby was bored, as young boys on desert islands tend to be so he decided to torment Sally. He started off with a rousing game of repeating everything Sally said, but as she was reading that didn't really work. Then he switched over to "I'm not touching you." Unfortunately Sally was so engrossed in a chapter about Three Men and a Little Lady that she didn't even notice. Finally as an act of desperation he started shaking the tree violently to get some sort of reaction out of her. She glanced up annoyed, and just as Bobby was about to celebrate a coconut fell from the tree and cracked him right in the skull. That of course set Sally into a fit of giggles until she noticed that the coconut had cracked open and a liquid was dribbling out. She put some on her finger and tasted it. It was kind of sweet, and very tasty. She pried the coconut open a little more and drank the juice that was inside. It wasn't the best thing she ever had, but it sure beat mom's water. Once Bobby woke up they fashioned him a helmet and had him shake trees all the livelong day so they could have fresh coconut water.

I'm no longer going to talk about my past feelings on coconut water. I have been converted and this is one of the best bottles I've had yet. If you're hot and parched, crack open an ice cold bottle and enjoy the summer.

Alo what have you done! Your mother and I leave you home alone for two hours, entrusting you with keeping the house safe and this is how you repay us? It looks like you filmed a Beastie Boys video in here! All we can say is how deeply disappointed we are in you. You've always been such a well-behaved beverage. Sure you hung out with the weird flavored nerdy kids every once and awhile, but overall you got good marks. Lately you've been getting mixed up with an unsavory crowd like that Johnny Coconut kid. I don't like the cut of his jib. Don't argue with me! I don't care if it's the only jib he's got! That kid is bad news. Just look what he's done to our home and more importantly our precious aloe juice! He's tainted it! It no longer tastes wonderful and sweet. It doesn't even taste like chalky coconut water. How on Earth did you two get all mixed together and end up tasting like some sort of cereal milk? Have you been drinking? Please tell me you're not on the pot! The fun has even been taken out of the chunks. I don't believe this. We're you supposed to be babysitting the neighbor's kids, Peach and Kiwi? Where have they gotten off to, because I sure don't taste them in here!

My first time I ever had coconut water was in Toronto. Me and a bunch of friends drove up there for a hardcore show and were walking down Spadina toward 50 Toppings Guy (a 24 hour hot dog vendor that serves veggie dogs and has over 50 toppings to put on them). A big area of Spadina is Asian markets and one of them was selling young coconuts with straws on the street. A bunch of my friends bought one, but I had my mind set on having an orange pop with my two veggie dogs. Being the curious person I am, I tried some and thought it was so gross. I avoided coconut water like the plague after that.

Jump to today, where I just got home from a show. I've had this bottle chilling in the fridge all day, waiting for me to come home. I will admit, the first couple sips brought back unpleasant memories. Once I pushed past those, I began to really enjoy this drink. It's a really smooth coconut taste. I was expecting it to have a strong lime taste, but it is subtler than I expected. I would have never thought lime and coconut would go together. On second thought, I do remember hearing the Harry Nilsson song "Coconut" growing up which has the lyrics "She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up". Music teaches us so much.

All of my life I have thought of coconuts as the vilest of fruits. I straight up hated it and anything that it was in. I feel like a lot of food, especially desserts were ruined for me. Mounds and Almond Joys? No Thanks!

When coconut water started to become popular I didn't understand it. None of us at Thirsty Dudes were a fan of coconut, so we kind of ignored it existence. Normally we try to give objective reviews to drinks that we know we won't like because of our personal tastes, but with coconut water we didn't think we'd be able to down enough of the bottle to even do that. A while back I got a carton of a fruit enhanced version of it. It tasted like it was curdling. So gross. Now thanks to Zico I know what my problem was. I drank it at room temperature. Coconut water is made to be drank ice cold and when it is it is actually kind of awesome.

Even ice cold it still has a remote chalky taste to it, but nothing terrible. It is crisp and refreshing. The pineapple in this isn't very strong. It's more of a general tropical citrus flavor.

Coconut water will never be one of my favorites, but I can now appreciate it for what it is. Just remember to drink it as cold as possible, or it could be completely gross.

You know who loved pina coladas? The Indians. Native Americans. Sorry. You think Arizona just arbitrarily put an Indian on the bottle? They had to earn it. For hundreds of years, Native Americans would ride on horseback from New Mexico to Puerto Rico in order to get authentic pina coladas. The horses never liked riding on the boats so often times they would have to let people in Cancun borrow their horses until they got back. Often times, they would come back and there would be ponies since they were gone enjoying pina coladas for so long. Once in Puerto Rico, they would order coconut after coconut filled with the milk as well as ground up pineapples and the finest rum that not a lot of money could by. They would fill their backsacks with coconuts right off the tree and pineapples off whatever pineapples come off of. I assume trees as well.

When the Native Americans heard that Arizona was making pina colada, they jumped on their horsies and rode to Arizona, only to find out that Arizona is actually based out of Upstate New York. They decided to just call them using their cellular phones and thank them. Arizona was so happy that the Indians liked their drink that they decided to take Stacy Keach off and replace it with the Indian leader at the time.

What the Indians liked about the Arizona is not only that it came in a resealable container, but that it used the finest coconuts like they got from Puerto Rico. The pineapple to coconut ratio was spot on and it was so well sweetened that it didn't need rum. They say that it gets to be a little too much for one person so they typically split it with their friends.

They thought that Arizona did such a nice job that they put one of their horses on a plane and shipped it to New York where Arizona built a nice employee ranch where they can go during lunch breaks and ride it and feed it out of their hands.

Let me tell you right off the bat. Thirsty Dudes, as a whole, are not crazy about coconut water. It's nothing against manufacturers, it's just that we drank a handful of them and we just never had one that we liked. Recently Zico contacted us out of the blue and stepped up to the plate. They said that they had chocolate coconut water that we might be interested in. I took the challenge today. Here's how it went.

I knew that I didn't want to drink it lukewarm so I threw that cat in the fridge for a couple hours. That was problem number one is that warm coconut water is more creamy than refreshing. I had a nice, crisp, fresh bottle and I cracked it open and took a sip. It was great. Finally, an entire new category of drinks has emerged for the taking. The chocolate taste was good. It has a good chocolate smell almost like chocolate ice cream. It tasted like really smooth chocolate milk. Initially, I could not taste the coconut, which is great because I didn't go into this liking coconut water. As the temperature dropped, I could start to taste it, but it was subtle enough for me to get used to it.

Zico, you've done it. You've converted me. Congrats.

I have a weird relationship with Coconut Water. I have nothing against him, but he's not my favorite. He always shows up in nice packaging and chilled, but usually leaves a sour (not literally) taste in my mouth. When I picked him up today, he was hanging out with my good friend Aloe Vera. Now I haven't known Aloe Vera as long as Coconut Water, but he's a good dude and he always brings a smile to my face.

When they showed up today together, I was excited to try them together. They had an interesting fragrance on, not bad but not mouth watering. They had "Goji Berry" and "Lychee" clothes on, two names I was familiar with and have liked in the past. Now I don't want to blame it all on him, but I wish Coconut Water wouldn't have come. He kinda ruined the party. Otherwise, I think it would have been a really fun and memorable experience. He just kept bumping into everyone else and making things a mess. It's too bad because I was really looking forward to this.

I've never been to anywhere in the world that could be considered tropical. The closest I've ever come is Disney World in Orlando, Florida. While some may call it the happiest place on earth, I don't think anyone has ever called tropical. That label is reserved for places like Hawaii and the Bahamas. I have no desire to go to these places because they are very hot, and I don't like extremely hot weather.

But if I were forced to go to somewhere tropical at gunpoint, I would imagine drinking this there would be very fitting. While I'm not crazy about coconut water, this one is actually pretty good. It tastes really fresh and has a real creamy taste to it. While the summer heat in Buffalo doesn't compare to the tropics, this is definitely helping me …€˜beat the heat' as they say. My only complaint about this is you can't really taste the pineapple. This is disappointing to be because pineapple drinks are delicious and I was really looking forward to tasting the combination of coconut and pineapple.

In recent times I was strolling down the beach and I saw a coconut fall from a tree. I ran over and snatched that little guys up. I am not a fan of coconut by any means, but when you see something like that fall from a tree how can you pass it up. So there I am carrying this coconut around and a new problem arose. How the hell do you open a coconut to get the juice/water out? I could have tried to smash it on the road, but then all the precious juice would be lost. I didn't have any tools on me to aid in my venture. The solution I came up with was to repeatedly bash it on the corner of a picnic table until it cracked a little and I could pry it apart with my fingers. After about 20 minutes of hitting it against the table I was finally able to get it open. I sent all that time and effort and not counting what spilled I got two small mouthfuls of coconut water. I actually enjoyed it a little. It didn't taste anything like dried coconut, which I believe to be a devil fruit. So there I am with a smashed coconut, juice all over my hands and face with a still mostly empty stomach. I was satisfied. I didn't need a lot. I just wanted a taste and I had a fun time doing it.

This tastes pretty much exactly like the water that I got out of that coconut. The only ingredients in it are coconut water and ascorbic acid. I'm still not a huge fan of coconut, but since I have experience with getting the water right from the source and this tasted exactly the same I felt the need to get it a four. I may not have enjoyed it as much as other beverages, but it is exactly what it claims to be and if someone likes coconut, they are going to love this.

Thirsty Dudes, as a whole, unfortunately do not fancy coconut drinks. I like Mounds bars as much as the next guy. I like coconut shavings on ice cream. I have never handled a raw coconut, but I feel like it's probably not that bad. Let's make a compliment sandwich for this drink.

Good: The added sugar in this drink makes it a more "candied" coconut like you might be used to in candy and sweets.
Bad: It's reminiscent of, and I'm quoting girls in the office here, watered down pina colata and sunscreen.
Good: This is the best coconut drink I've had.

It's more sweet and less...water than the Vita Coco or Zico. If you like coconut water, this might be a nice, sweet treat for you. If you don't like coconut, this still isn't the drink for you.

Now here's the kicker. I can't penalize due to me not liking something. I think that if you liked coconut you would like this. I'm going to give an extra bottle because I know some people will really like it. I don't want to discourage people from getting it.

Before I even opened this drink the packaging made me fall in love with it. It's so bright and vibrant in a very classy way. The shape of the bottle is also pretty great. I obviously would have preferred a glass bottle, but at least they had the decency to use recycled plastic.

For starters, Pitaya is another name for Dragon Fruit. I learned from the label that the flower of the Dragon Fruit only blooms at night. That's a pretty sweet little nugget of knowledge. I will admit that I was a bit skeptical of this drink because I'm not a fan of coconut water. Every other flavored coconut water I've had tasted like the flavoring fruit had curdled the coconut milk. Pitaya + does not taste like that at all. It reminds me of a juice box I used to drink when I was a kid. Which is strange because those "juice" boxes were filled with so much artificial junk that they were labeled "juice drink." This on the other hand is the picture of healthiness. It's made to keep your digestive system healthy and to cleanse your body of toxins. I strongly believe that they should manufacture these in juice box form for parents to buy their children. I bet the kids would never know the difference, and you would have to keep them away from those school lunches. No matter how delicious those mounds of mashed potatoes and turkey smothered in gravy are, there is no way they are ever remotely healthy for you.

On top of producing a very healthy drink that is also very tasty, Pitaya is also a socially conscious company. The fruit is harvested from farms in Central America where they only hire single mothers from the community (Who they pay well, I might add) to help them care for their families. They are committed to sustainable farming and run one of the only solar powered facilities in Central America. For these things you get two thumbs up from Thirsty Dudes.

Dear nata de coco, I know you mean well, and you are so close to being incredible. It turns out that you are just a little too hard and solid. I wish you were just a little bit gummier. In the end really, it's not you it's me. You really do have a decent mango flavoring to you, but I just can't get into the texture of your chunks. As a result I will be continuing my affair with your cousin. That's right, I'm leaving you for my true love....aloe. Please stay strong through this. I know in a moment of weakness I will probably give you another try, but realize this will only be a fleeting moment, and we are not meant to be.

Mixed reviews galore. I'll give you all of them:

Darryl:
Coconut instantly hits my throat and I instantly think Banana Boat suntan lotion.

Mike:
Tastes like suntan lotion

Mark:
[silence]

Me:
It wasn't bad. I mean, it's coconut, for real. If you like coconut, you should like this drink. If you don't, I would basically say that you should get a restraining order against it. It captures a real coconut pretty accurately. You get the sweet taste including the nutty aftertaste. It might sound gross, and it is, but I wish that there was chocolate syrup here so that I could mix it in and make an Almond Joy pop. I wonder if we have any...

I did not have the stomach for this as soon as I opened it. I knew I wasn't going to like it. Was it psychosomatic? Possibly. Was it still kind of gross? Yeah, dude. I do not hate nada de coco. This is truth. I like coconut. I like coconut shavings. I like Mounds and Almond Joy. I do not like coconut juice or coconut water. Why? It's not terribly good, that's why.

I am actually pleased to say that this is my last "strange" drink and I am even more proud to say that this will be my last "strange" drink for a while. I had them all at work and every day I had to come in, drink something potentially gross, and write about it. At home is where the gems are.

Here is how I will sell it, not make it sound bad and undrinkable, because, let it be known, it was not undrinkable. If you like any of the new Vita Coco drinks and don't mind jelly coconut, this is perfect. That's not a far stretch as it's harder for me to get past the flavor than the foreign jellies.

Because I didn't drink the whole thing and because I barely made a dent in it would normally produce the rating of a 1, but I simply wasn't in the mood and don't like it. It's like ordering a meal only to find out that it's got something you hate in it and then having a sour taste in your mouth.

Once again, to reiterate, if you like coconut water, you would probably like this and I urge you to get a bottle. This company, Coco Loto can be found in Hispanic grocery stores and I actually found this in an Asian market. The company Mira also makes this same drink. It is gaining in popularity and you should see what people are talking about.

Hey. You know when you throw up and then try to cover up the taste with old popcorn? You do? Then number 1; I'm sorry. Number 2; you don't need to drink this.

For a company that has the best pop I've ever drunk, this stuff belongs in the filth can.

Here's how it went down...
I drank it and liked it while it was in my mouth. As soon as I swallowed it, I got a strange barf taste and I thought it might be the metal from the can so I poured it into a glass. I took another drink and it was worse. Afterwards I felt sick because you always are reminded of throwing up when your mouth tastes like, or recently tasted like, up-chuck.

I made this site with my bare hands and I wish I had created a 0 rating because this would get it.

Hansen's, I am happy that I reviewed this drink before your Cherry Vanilla Creme pop because you can only go up from here.