Coconut - 141 Reviews

Look at you with your designer jeans and sunglasses that cost as much as a months rent. You are so cool, you and your fancy Italian loafers with matching tie and Spider Veloce. You're so cool. Well look at me. Sure I dress like I have for the last twenty years but I'm cool, too, right? I'm drinking two cool things; espresso and coconut water. Those are cool things, right? It's important to be cool. It's how we put ourselves on imaginary pedestals. This is good stuff, too. I might not have the finer things like those dope brown kid leather driving gloves that beautifully match your wooden steering wheel and stick shift. This drink though brother, this drink is smooth and only half tastes like coconut. The coffee isn't totally too strong like you might like it in your Italian mind with your glorious hair. Look, bro. I'll say it. I don't care. You've got great hair. Try this, dude. No, I'm'a call you "dude" right? You're talking to me and I'm going to talk to you like you're talking to me. This is a good drink. I don't know what kind of standards you are used to but seriously this is good. You know what? I'm done. No. I'm done with you. You and your beautiful tight fade and tight beard. Peace, bruh. You are an elitist. I'm trying to share with you and you're being a real jerk. Now I'm the elitist. Peace.

I certainly do not know how they do it. Coco Libre has produced one of the freshest tasting prepackaged coconut water I have ever had the pleasure of drinking, and it's made from concentrate. How is it possible that I have had dozens of different brands of this same product that are just straight up coconut water, and they don't taste nearly as good/fresh as this. There is nothing added here, it's just reconstituted (is that the right word?) coconut water. I have become a big fan of this, and will happily drink the case of it that I ganked from the “green room” of a show I worked the other day. I've come a long way from despising everything coconut to happily drinking bottle after bottle of this stuff.

Of the things I don't understand in life one of the big ones in the realm of family matters is why my father has a Kokopelli tattoo. I have no idea why in his late forties he decided to get a tattoo of a fertility deity. I know it also representative of agriculture, but my father is not a farmer, and I have never known him to tend even a houseplant. He also represents the spirit of music, but my father isn't a big music guy either. The tattoo is just one of the mysteries of the universe. I mean I could ask him why he got it, but that would take the fun out of it, and then he might talk to me about my tattoos, and who wants to explain to their parents why they have a llama and an ostrich dressed as Batman and Robin tattooed on them. I'll keep the mystery in all of our lives.

I'm also left wondering why Coco Libre uses a Kokopelli on their bottles as well. He is a symbol embraced by the Native American tribes of the southwest. They are located in Palo Alto (northern California) and neither coconuts nor chia; the two main ingredients in the company's products are native to that area of the country. The deity's presence is as puzzling on this bottle as he is on my father's skin.

Their choice of mascot aside, this is a nice little beverage. As far as I know Coco Libre is the only company out there combining coconut water and chia seeds, to which I give them a tip of my hat. I am a fan of chia seeds in drinks, as I enjoy a beverage with some texture to it. I have also been fully converted and love coconut water. The added flavor is very strong in this. 26% of this is concentrated fruit juice, and that is a high percentage seeing as the seeds take up most of the bottle. They also put out unusual flavors for coconut water. This leaves me wishing I had cherry coconut water available to me. I like cherries, and I love cherry drinks, well as long as they don't taste like cough syrup, which this doesn't at all.

Whoever decided that coconut water should come packaged in cans like this has done well for the branding of the fruit. Coke has it's unique bottle shape and coconut water has tall cans with ridges. I can't think of anything else that comes in this sort of can. When I see a can of this nature I instantly think of coconut water and that is great from an advertising point of view.

In the past when I heard the word Zola I expected it to be followed by Jesus (she's a musician if you didn't know). Now I will also think of coconut water and nicely shaped cans. This is a fine coconut water. It's nothing new, but it's not trying to be. It's simply natural coconut water with some pulp in it. Nothing stands out about it, but do you really want something wacky from coconut water? I'm guessing now, you want refreshment.

The pulp in here are little hard chunks of raw coconut. They are a little bigger than what I would refer to as pulp, but I enjoyed them a great deal. It's nice to chew on them, and they add a little texture to the beverage.

Zola: doing coconuts right and making them proud.

Juice cleanses are all the rage these days. I personally think that it's great. I am a lover of juice, and the fact that people are making an effort to be healthier is a move in the right direction. The fact that some companies are expanding their cleanses into other grocery stores besides Whole Foods so that it reaches a wider audience of “Everyday Joes” is an even better step. There are so many chemicals are garbage added to food these days that most people aren't even aware of that it's a good things to take some steps to cleanse your body of them from time to time. Juice cleanses are also used to gain mental clarity, improve overall well being, and the biggest allure for people is that it helps in losing weight. From an outsiders perspective it is a healthy way to starve yourself and get your body to work unnatural things out of your system.

I've wanted to do a cleanse myself for sometime, but the downfall of it is that there is a hefty price tag on this healthy live (Love Grace's is $168 for a three day run). Keep in mind you do get 18 bottles of juice for that price, and you have no need to purchase any other food in that time as well, so in the end it's not all that terribly expensive, but it does look like a large sum to drop at one time. Thanks to my involvement with Thirsty Dudes Love Grace sent us a three-day cleanse for review. I am starting it today, and I expect to be fully miserable for a while. I most definitely become easily annoyed when I am hungry, so I would probably steer clear of me until Thursday. No one likes to be “hangry.”

The first juice in the cleanse is this bottle of “Purify.” It is a collaboration of coconut water, celery, chard, spinach and cucumber. This is a first step in what is going to seem like a very long road. I am generally a bit weary about juices that have celery in them. On it's own it's a wonderful vegetable that I really enjoy. The problem is that when it is juiced and mixed with other juices it tends to take over the flavor of any drink. Love Grace worked out a nice solution to that problem; the use of coconut water. It dulls the flavor of the celery a nice amount. It's still very prevalent, but it's not a full on assault to your taste buds. When you hold this drink in your mouth it tastes just like coconut water with some greens juiced into it. It tastes mostly like spinach and cucumber, actually I couldn't taste the celery at all until I swallowed and then it's just in the aftertaste. There is a natural sweetness to this, so it doesn't taste like you're just drinking a salad. I mean you are, but it's no where near as gross as that sounds.

Well done, Love Grace. You've made the first step of this cleanse very enjoyable. It gives me hope that I'm not going to want to murder everyone around me before I reach completion. Sure I'll still be hungry, but at least I'll have some good flavors to help me along.

Welcome to Coco Cafè where everything we serve is made with coconuts. Sure it limits what we have to offer and to be honest we have kind of a niche clientele, but we do what we do and if you don't like it you can get your nutrition elsewhere. Oh, you're going to be adventurous and stay, well la-ti-da Mr. Fancypants. May I suggest you try our coconut on a half shell? It's really just a coconut cut in half and a knife/fork combo. What can I say; our chef isn't very good in the kitchen. What he lacks in cooking, he sure makes up for in beverages though. Here try one of these coconut lattes on the house. Today he whipped up some vanilla ones, and they are a little bit of okay.

To make these drinks chef starts off with a mess of coconut water and adds a splash of reduced fat milk in it. I don't know why, I think he has some weird vendetta against vegans. I heard his fiancè ran off with an activist or something and now he's all jaded and bitter. Anyways, he then dumps a shot of espresso into that mixture, topping it all off with just a dash of vanilla extract. I personally could use a little bit more of the vanilla because it's kind of hard to find it under the espresso flavor. This really just tastes like a nicer coffee with a whole lot of coconut milk in it that has been moderately sweetened. Even though it's fairly simple it really does taste nice. It also makes coffee refreshing, which is an added bonus.

You know what? We should probably just close up this restaurant and go into the drink business. This whole exclusive coconut dish thing was a dumb idea from the get go.

Root tea? I'd say. This drink tastes like a cornucopia of bark and herbs. It's very strange, very bold, and just alright. It is a sipping tea. No one is chugging this stuff and if you are, you're doing it wrong. This tea is made for...well I don't really know who or what scenario it's made for. If I had to pick a demographic, it would be mid-twenty year old hippies. They love the earth, dirt, and herbs. This seems like it was made for them. Like I said, it's not bad, but I don't know anyone who actually has a taste for it. It tastes like a dark root beer that was made without any carbonation that was filtered through a nice oak tree and the "scientist" who did that let their adorable eight year old daughter sprinkle some cinnamon in there. It's "woodsy" if you know what I mean. At lease when I drink something like a spruce beer I feel like I'm in the forest. This "root tea" tastes like I am foraging around on the ground for anything I can get nutrients from.

In closing: It's strange but it's alright in small sips and doses.

Amy and Brian, lovers, loved coconuts. They would go out a couple times a week for dessert and always get a sundae with shaved coconuts on it. Their favorite candy bars were Mounds and Almond Joy in that order. Their favorite place to visit on vacation was somewhere tropical that they could get coconuts right off the tree. They loved the stuff.

They went to the Maldives on their honeymoon just to indulge in coconut fare. They went out the first night they were there and were served a drink that was on the menu simply as "coconut juice with pulp." How could they resist? They could not. They each got a large glass of it and when it came, their eyes lit up. It was coconut water with little chunks of coconut in it. Small chunks, like someone did a poor job straining, not that Amy or Brian were complaining. It had a bit of a natural sweetness that often times comes from coconut water and the chunks just made it more fun than a standard glass of coconut water.

Amy and Brian were in love with each other and this drink. They knew that this was a step in the right direction for their honeymoon and their future lives together. All it took was a little pulp.

This is my second go at Harmless Harvest's raw coconut water. When I tried it for the first time, it apparently had been mistreated, temperature wise, at some point in its travels and it had started to spoil/turn. Note to all of you reading out there, if you get a coconut water that fizzes when you open it, dump that little guy right down the drain. I assure you it will taste completely horrible.

Now that I have a bottle that is fresh, and whose molecular makeup hasn't changed, I'm ready to drink up. If you have ever spent far too long trying to open up a coconut you found on the beach with improper tools, then you will remember this taste from your payoff. There is no other way to describe this other than to say it tastes fresh. Over the years I have tasted dozens of different coconut waters and this is the finest I've drunk. It has a certain sweetness to it that is long in the processing the other companies use. It's a sweetness that is appreciated. You see most companies pasteurize their products by subjecting them to very high temperatures. In that process the flavor is changed and nutrients are destroyed. To keep things pure Harmless Harvest presses the coconuts with thousands of pounds in order to eliminate the bacteria that pasteurization kills off. The results are much tastier with higher health benefits. It's a win-win that you should become a part of.

Were Amy and Brian extras in the show Lost? By extras I of course mean they were lesser-known characters in the documentary that was filmed in real time. Did they somehow find a way off the island early on, and just forget to mention it to the others because they were all arguing like a bunch of jerks instead of listening to their would be saviors? In their brief time on the island did they fall in love with coconut water? I mean it was that or salty seawater that would eventually dehydrate you, so they had to drink it, and it probably grew on them quite a bit.

I'm going to just assume that everything written above is 100% accurate and that the couple moved back to the states where they started a company that imported coconut water from Thailand and packaged it in their own cans. They did a good job of it too. It tastes fresher than other brands that I have tasted, and of course it's very refreshing. It's not quite the same as cracking open a coconut that just fell from a tree, but it's not that far off.

While everyone else is dead that ever stepped foot on the island, these two entrepreneurs swimming in their money Scrooge McDuck style form their settlement from the airlines and their profits from their juice.

We've been hard on ol' Rob in the past and he has been very good to us. I should say, and we should say more often, that they gave us these drinks to try and they are glass, plentiful, and heavy so that was probably no easy task. It's hard to dis companies that are so nice to us that might put out not-so-good drinks. Credit where credit's due, Rob's is pushing the envelope when it comes to some of his flavors and he has to know that they're not going to be for everyone.

Now, on to this coconut water. Everyone knows the pains of coconut water. You have to drink it when it's ice cold otherwise it gets chalky and gross. Append that to the fact that they use Erythritol and you could have a dangerous mix on your hands. Was Rob able to man the wild horses, save the town and get the girl? Yes. Rob rode the blackest steed in all the land, tamed it and then fed it a friggin' carrot. He gave the bad guy a wedgie and also took his lunch money. He got the girl and the girl had a ten face, ten body and liked playing video games. This might be the best coconut drink I've ever had. It's got a good mix between real coconut and candied coconut shavings you would get on an ice cream or a Mounds bar. The Erythritol just kind of cools it all down while sweetening it up.

Rob deserves a pat on the back and all the gold in the land for taming that beast.

New juice cleanse companies are popping up all over the place. I for one love it and appreciate that people are taking the time to consider what they are putting into their bodies (I need to do the same). I would love to do one of these cleanses, but I simply cannot afford it. If I were to purchase the 5-day cleanse it would cost me $270. That is more than a months rent for me (Yes I live in Buffalo with one of the countries lowest average rent cost). Sure I could knock it down to a 3-day cleanse, but that is still going to put me back $162. Unfortunately it's just not in my budget.

The Vanilla Cloud beverage is the daily dessert for this cleanse. You're supposed to drink it last in the day (at least three hours before bed). I like that this exists. In recent years I have fallen victim to the practice of not thinking a meal is complete until I have dessert. Dessert for me just happens to be a square or two of dark chocolate, so it's not completely horrible, but it's a practice I should probably kick at some point.

What does a juice cleanse dessert consist of? Water, coconut, honey, almonds, acerola cherry, cinnamon, vanilla bean, nutmeg and camu camu. They are all healthy things that sound like they would be great together, and I assure you that they are. This tastes like almond milk with some cinnamon and nutmeg in the mix. A seasonal almond milk if you will. I would also explain it as a very subdued chai. I actually don't taste the coconut in here at all, which I'm okay with. There are also some light chunks in here, but they are small, and just make some sips a little gritty.

I really enjoyed this, and it makes me wish even more that this cleanse was something I could do. I'm sure after five days you would feel a vast improvement, but at the same time what income bracket do you need to be apart of to participate.

Let's play a variation of the classic Easter game guess how many jelly beans are in the jar to win a big stuffed bunny. This time we're dealing with neither beans, nor jelly. Well, I guess there is a little jelly coating these seeds we're counting. Yes, you guessed correctly; today's game is guess how many chia seeds are in this bottle of CoCo Libre. There are certainly hundreds, possibly even thousands (but not very likely).

There are a handful of brands that have been making beverages with chia seeds in them, as they are rich in omegas and other junk that make them healthy. They also help to curb your appetite. So while this is nothing new in that regard this is the first company I know of to add them to coconut water. Even though I was greeted with a mouth full of dozens of tiny slimy seeds, my first thought was, “Why have I never come across strawberry kiwi coconut water before?” Seriously, with all of the flavors on the market, I never thought of this one, and it works. The base of this drink is coconut water that I wouldn't mind drinking on its own. Yes there is agave added to it for sweetener, which I wouldn't need in its non-seeded form, but yeah…€¦I want that.

So you probably want me to mention more about the seeds, huh? Well I don't think they have much of a flavor, but they are slippery and provide enjoyment for your mouth. I do not suggest chewing them. Actually try to chew them as much as you want. Their slimy coating makes them slip around your teeth and it takes quite an effort to actually bite into them. I just prefer to swish them around my mouth and then swallow.

I did mention a prize, didn't I? Well whoever guesses the correct amount of seeds, gets a life sized chia llama. Actually screw that. I'm keeping it for myself.

The beverage world, and the flavor world at large went crazy with pomegranate a few years back. It was everywhere. They started mixing it with other fruits and the results were largely positive. Then someone decided to throw acai in the mix because of the health benefits, and that's where I lost interest. Before long it seemed that everywhere you turned pom and acai were teamed up like the Justice League of antioxidants. The thing is acai doesn't taste all that great. Sure it's palatable, but it's nothing I would go out of my way for.

When I got this drink it brought a smile to my face that that dumb super fruit was nowhere to be found. I'm going to associate acai with Superman here. They both have powers, but they are overall dumb characters that always seem like they are cheating. I suppose that would make pomegranates Batman then. They are dark and mysterious with secrets hidden below their thick outer shell. I can get behind pomegranates. I was also glad to see that pom is working together with blueberries in this mix. We'll call them Nightwing because they are working together and not as a superhero/sidekick team.

This is a wonderful drink that fights antioxidants (crime) enough to keep them out of your body (Gotham) long enough for it to recuperate. They do it in a tasty and enjoyable way with a little bit of help from coconut water (Oracle…€¦see I told you Nightwing was more appropriate). This is actually more of a blueberry adventure with pomegranate backing it up. Speaking of which, why are there not more, if any, blueberry coconut waters. I would drink that up by the gallon.

This drink will leave you refreshed and rehydrated whilst leaving a sweet taste on your tongue. I'm going to assume that most of my references were lost on a majority of you, but just know that if I'm associating a beverage with Gotham's finest; I mean business.

Why don't you go ahead and make yourself a milkshake? Dump some vanilla ice cream in your blender. Then instead of adding cow milk, add some almond milk. You know what you had a nice workout at the gym, why not add a scoop of whey protein to the mix. Blend it up nice and smooth. Oh crap, you forgot to let the dog out. You better do that before he has another accident on the new carpet. Oh you're dog will only go toity if you walk him on a leash? You know what? Go ahead give him the walk he needs, I mean it will give your carpet the peace of mind it deserves.

Well, I'm sorry to say that I forgot to tell you to put your milkshake in the fridge. I mean I didn't think I had to dictate everything you did today. Oh wait, you did remember to pick up after your dog right? Man, your neighbors must really hate you. I suppose you should drink the shake anyways. It's a little melted, but it's still cold, and I'm sure it tastes exactly like a Coco Libre almond protein coconut water. Yes, I know that is the longest title for a beverage ever, but it tastes good, and so does your shake, so lay off.

When you are stuck on an uninhabited tropical island the coconut is life. Due to it's salt, the ocean is death; drinking it would just lead to dehydration. You could keep yourself in healthy fluids by eating obscene amounts of tropical fruit, but that is just asking for more dysentery than a failed trip on the Oregon Trail. The only solution is to drink the pulpy, slightly chalky lifeblood for the coconut. You're going to have one hell of a time getting it open, but once you figure out a method, you're golden. Then and only then will you have the luxury of exploring the luxuries the island has to offer you. It could become your personal paradise.

When you get bored of the taste of straight coconut water, you can start mixing it with other fruits. Of course many of you would go straight for pineapples to create the classic pina colada flavor. For those of you who would like to pretend you're on this mystery island Vita Coco has packaged up it's own blend of a pina colada just for you. It's nothing but coconut water/pulp, pineapple pulp and vitamin C. Unfortunately they strain all of the solids out, so this is just a liquid with no fun involved.

This is not exactly the prime flavor for me, but it's something that I know a lot of people would love. There's something about Vita Coco that always leaves me wanting. Since it's just coconuts and juice I don't know what it is, but there is something that's just not as good as other brands, but it's more than good enough for you to enjoy.

Carlos was a man who knew his juice. He drank it all the time. He never drank pop and probably drank more juice than water. He drank more juice than he ate fruit. He likes the good stuff, though. He didn't drink run of the mill "drink" type juices. He went for the higher end stuff.

One day he was in a lull of drinks. There was nothing new and nothing interesting. All of a sudden he came across a bottle of Body Armor. He was attracted to the nice packaging. He read the ingredients and saw that it was gluten free which was a plus, and it was filled with not only orange and mango juice but also vitamins and minerals turning this into the "Super Drink" it said that it was.

He bought it without hesitation, cracked it open, and took a sip. He was pleased. Not only did he get a good tasting orange juice but also the mango kick was a good pair. There was also a ten percent bonus coconut water in there, too.

He felt good. He didn't feel like it was too sweet and actually the coconut water gave it a little bit of a different dimension with bite. He had found a new drink that made him a happy man.

Hank went on a cruise. Hank loved cruises. He would go anywhere that the boat told him to go. He was like a lemming when it came to sight seeing. The people at the docks would say, "Sir. Do you want to go to swim with the dolphins?" and he would almost never not do it. The only time he would say no would be when he saw a souvenir shop in a country that he hadn't been to and just needed to get a key chain to add to his collection.

Hank loved going to shore as much as he loved going on the ship but when he was on the ship, he would eat a copious amount of fruit. One day, he came from the shore with a coconut. He knew that he would have to use it before he got back to the States because they couldn't bring it back into the country. He decided to have some fun with it.

He went to the cafeteria at night and got a bowl full of fruit. He got cherries, apples, pineapples, and oranges. He brought them to the kids pool which was now empty as the kids were asleep. He hated getting sticky so he went into the pool with all the fruit. He started mushing up all the fruit into a cup; one fruit at a time into the cup. Finally, when all the fruit was properly mushed up, he put some of the coconut juice into the cup. He took one sip and regretted not doing it sooner. It tastes like a fruit punch that was properly sweetened not with corn syrup but with the natural sugar from the fruit as well as some raw sugar packets from the cafeteria. It was slightly chalky because of the coconut water but still very drinkable.

Just as he finished his drink, some of the deckhands saw him and chased him out of the kid's pool. He ran away holding his cup but dropping a trail of squished fruit and seeds along the way. The security aboard the ship found his room easily and just told him not to make a mess in the pool anymore. He obliged and sat quietly in his room and drank what was left of his concoction.

This is such an odd drink to review. I drank about ¾ of the bottle Monday evening, and I decided I was not in the right state of mind to properly convey what this is all about. Here I am two days later, and I still really don't have a clue. Every time I open the fridge this bottle is staring me right in the eye, daring me to write something about it. I'm at the point where I can't take it anymore, and it's now or never.

The main construct of the contents of this bottle is coconut water. The thing is that with the added fruit and extracts, it barely tastes like what you would expect. I even had to double check to make sure this was coconut water, like the other flavor I had reviewed a few months ago. It is, but it has such an odd, yet interesting taste. Papaya, a fruit that smells like vomit, but tastes delicious, is present. I do believe that it is the camu camu extract that is running the show here. According to the internet it tastes like a mixture of hibiscus, berry and citrus. I can't pin down a great reference to the way this beverage tastes, but I would say that is a appropriate enough description of this odd flavor. I don't know if I have ever tasted anything like this before, and that is exciting, because it is new, and doesn't make me want to blow chunks.

In addition to tasting strange this drink is actually healthy. It is antioxidant rich, it has zero fat or cholesterol, there are only two grams of sugar in the entire bottle, and it's chock full of a ton of vitamins. It's a wild ride that you don't have to feel guilty about, so you can keep getting back in line and ride it over and over, until you are the one who blows the previously mentioned chunks.

Body Armor is back with a couple new flavors and a few old ones reworked a little. The release of the new “mixed berry” flavor is an update to their Raspberry, Blueberry Goji beverage. The packaging is basically the same as the old version, and the flavor isn't that far off as well. It tastes of many berries, antioxidants and coconut water, which is good because that is exactly what it is.

It's nice that there are so many options out there in a world that for years was Gatorade or nothing. I would say that 8 out of 10 times I would choose this over a classic sports drink. As an added bonus to the flavor with each bottle you get 2.5 times the electrolytes as a bottle of Gatorade and 2 times the vitamins that are in Vitamin Water. You're getting flavor and more functionality. It looks like this is a win-win.