Diet - 615 Reviews

A great thing about Vuka is that they specifically formulate their different energy drinks for different activities. They know that if you're staying up for an all night study marathon, you don't need a bunch of taurine or other chemical garbage junking up your drink giving you the jitters. You want to stay awake and to be able to concentrate at the same time. For this Think variety they use natural caffeine, gingko biloba, panax ginseng, same bitartrate as well as niacin and B-vitamins. Their other flavors use different ingredients and it certainly shows. The Renew Mango Peach gave me crazy energy and a bit of the old jitters, but with this one I don't feel insane at all. I just feel alert, and it's helped me get through a bunch of things I was not looking forward to on my to-do list.

The functional side of this energy drink is absolutely perfect. Unfortunately the flavor side of it doesn't come through as much. I'm all for stevia being used as a natural zero calorie sweetener, but from the taste of this it seems like they went overboard with it. It's like whoever was adding it to the batch got distracted by a dirty joke and accidentally dumped too much in whilst laughing. It's supposed to be pomegranate lychee flavored, but the pom flavor is very mild and I don't really get any of the old lady flavors of lychee in here at all. Mostly it's just the cold taste of stevia. I will say that the more I drank the less I thought it was gross, but it's certainly not my favorite tasting thing by any means. I would drink it again and power through the flavor to get the functionality out of it though.

In order to ensure that bullets don't pierce your person there are a few things you have to sacrifice, limited mobility for one. Also, if you're a sweet spy, the bulkiness of it all will ruin the lines in your suit. I also just learned that in order to become bulletproof, you also have to sacrifice flavor.

As with most energy drinks that don't proclaim to be a specific flavor, I expected the generic energy drink flavor of sugary candy. Well, diet sugar candy. I actually prefer the sugar free Red Bull to the original variety, so I thought this was going to be a little bit of decent, but nothing out of the ordinary. That proved to be not the case. This definitely has the chemical energy drink flavor, but it also has a weird almond smell to it that comes across as something completely different and weirdly citrus in the flavor. It's not something that I would ever purchase, as there are so many other varieties of energy drinks in every gas station ever. Maybe this will be your thing, but I couldn't really enjoy it. Maybe I'll unload a few rounds into it and see if it actually is bulletproof. My predictions: I'm going to tear this thing to pieces.

I'm not wonderful with energy drinks, usually because I run myself on "E" a lot of the time. It's how I keep my slender figure. One thing you don't do is drink one on an empty stomach, which I idiotically did, and go and get the shakes like an idiot. I feel like my fingers typing this review are going faster than my brain wants to send down the commands for the words. It's probably bottlenecking in my stomach where the fantastic taco I just ate is residing temporarily.

Shakes aside, and let's be honest, that was my fault. This isn't a bad drink at all. It's fruity and is defiantly more "berry" than "lemonade" but I'm not really complaining. If you are on the "hater" side of the fence when it comes to Stevia and friends, you might and probably won't like this drink. It's not as bad as it could be but there is a prompt and abrupt interruption when you are enjoying the berry lemonade of it. The sparkling bit of it is a nice touch.

A couple weeks ago I went to PAX East aka Penny Arcade Expo in Boston, MA. It's basically a giant gaming convention stemming from a long running webcomic about video games. It was my first time attending and I had a lot of fun.

In addition to all the new and upcoming games, there was a 5-Hour Energy booth set up in the front lobby all weekend. Normally I would avoid these little bottles of death like the plague, but the line for the coffee shop in the hotel was always way too long and I didn't want to get my ass handed to me when I was playing Halo 4 against some 6 year old. Over the weekend, I lost count at 4 or 5 of these consumed. I'm afraid to know the actual number, but I did manage to bring an additional 5 home with me somehow.

Does this taste like "berry"? Sure. Could it be mistaken for another flavor? Most likely. Did I barely notice the flavor due to consuming this in one sip due to over-exhaustion and wanting to just "wake up"? You betcha! Did it work? Indeed it did.

The rest of the Green Fit beverages have had a fairly mediocre taste. Since they are functional beverages that places them on the better end of the spectrum. This is the flavor I was least looking forward to. Look, I've come around on coconut water. I don't think it's the devil's spit anymore, but it's not my favorite, and coconut flavored things tend to be on the toasted side of things and I still cannot get down with that. Luckily they went heavy on the lime in this and the coconut is along the lines of coconut water.

The combination of the lime and the whey protein makes this taste more than a bit like key lime pie, well a light liquid version of it. The stevia is the only thing that detracts from that, but in a drink like this, you're not going to use regular sugar, so stevia was definitely the best possible choice. I think lime may be the secret to protein drinks. It makes the strange quasi-dairy taste seem appropriate and not just something you have to power through. It's always odd when the thing you fear becomes your favorite out of the bunch, but that is what we have here.

A nice thing about Spartos is that all of their regular flavors have red caps and writing, while the sugar free varieties are yellow. It makes it nice and simple for those warriors going into battle who are concerned about their sugar intake. Let me tell you the numbers of those sorts of warriors are rising.

Many of you out there probably have no idea what jackfruit is. My personal experience with it is limited to is using an unripe one to make vegetarian pulled pork. At that point the fruit is not yet sweet and it makes a perfect substitute texture wise. I have never had ripe jackfruit before, nor do I believe I have ever had anything flavored by it. While I was drinking this I could faintly taste the watermelon, which is a feat unto itself, as it's such a watery fruit that getting it's flavor without it tasting like candy is nearly impossible. I also kept tasting a hint of banana, but it wasn't the gross aspect of bananas. I even checked the label twice to see if it had banana in it. I was certain there was just a little in there. Overall it had a nice tropical flavor, you know with a hint of banana.

When I got home, I did a little (minimal) research on jackfruit and discovered that when ripe it is sweet and tastes like a mix between a banana and a pineapple. It's good to know that my taste buds are still working properly after all these years. There is the “coolness” of the stevia, as Mike refers to it, but it lets the actual taste shine and not some fake diet flavor. It really is the superior sugar free sweetener.

Since I have never had an actual ripened jackfruit I can't say for certain, but according to the description I read of the flavor Spartos got it right on the nose. Now I want to take a trip to Toronto, hit up Chinatown and get some fresh jackfruit, both ripe and not. I've got fruit and veggie pulled pork on the mind.

I handed this to my friend/coworker and I told him to get "V Blasted." We knew it was gross, we acknowledged it was gross, and then moved on. He unscrewed the cap, shook it, and got juice on him. I promptly told him that he got "V blasted." We knew it was gross, we acknowledged it was still gross, and then we moved on.

I don't care what you say this is a juice. You can call it water all you want but I would like to see you give anyone this drink and have them not call it a juice. Stop it with the water. No one is offended by the word "juice." As a juice it is quite good. It's sweet and has a slight sting from the sucralose but is promptly covered up by a rush of…€¦you guessed it, strawberry and kiwi. Good flavors, too. Nothing at all bad.

You get to buy it, make it, shake it, and drink a pretty good juice all in a matter of seconds. It's a pretty good deal also not forgetting the fact that it is a downright disgusting name that you get to keep your mind in the gutter for. Ugh. VBlast.

I think that if given the opportunity to run the United States, Rush Limbaugh would take the offer. Right there on the table. President Obama meets Rush at an undisclosed location (TGI Friday's) and he slides a piece of paper across the table. On the paper says the following words; "Do you want to take over?" and below it asked you to circle "Yes" or "No." He would answer, "Yes" and then they would eat a Jack Daniels burger, fried mac and cheese, and chicken tortilla soup.

If Rush had to win over America, which he would have to do to about half of the country, he could simply hand out this tea. It would be an olive branch that tastes like raspberry tea. No, not like diet raspberry tea, just regular raspberry tea. He could say something like, "I understand that some of you don't like me. My intentions are pure and to let you know how serious I am, I am giving you each a bottle of this tea. I am a man of research and that is why I have given unto you a bottle of diet iced tea that doesn't taste diet and still tastes great. I am a giving, generous, and genuinely care about this country. Please accept my prompt leadership and I will do my best to point us, much like the captain of a ship, towards greatness."

Rush, if you are reading this, which I assume you are, you can use this line when Obama meets you at a secret restaurant that may or may not sell deep friend green beans.

I went to a school and our mascot was a Spartan. That being said, I feel like one out of every ten schools has a Spartan as their mascot. Seems like a limited pool of available mascots. Anyhow, had I cared about sports, and was on the football team in high school, and this company existed, I might write them a little something like this:

Dear Spartos,
My name is Mike and I am the defensive tackle for my high school football team. Why am I bringing this up? Because our mascot is the Spartan. Why do you care? Look, sir or madame, I know that your company is called "Spartos" but we're all coming from the same region with this thing.

I was wondering if you would be nice enough to sponsor us with your protein water. We could have those theater nerds paint us a banner with your logo on it. Also, I'm only calling them nerds because that's what we, the football team, have to do. Haven't you ever seen a John Hughes film? The football team, AKA "jocks" always pick on the theater kids or anyone that is creative and can think for themselves. We don't want to, but we have to. They understand. They watch the same movies we do. Anyhow, after testing your grape lemonade drink, I think that it's something that we, the team, can get behind. It's got a little bit of a fake sweetener taste and a little bit of that protein thickness, but you kept the calories down which is good for us stereotypical high school football kids. We like to blast Smashmouth in the weight room and drink this because it makes the proteins go where they need to like our quads. The grape and lemonade are actually noticed and appreciated. Good fruit and tartness from both players, much like me on the fields interactive with my tight end. No, not my butt. Get it? See, I'm seventeen and think that butts are hilarious. I'll grow out of that, right?

If you think that we would help push product, please let us know. We are a hard working team with a mediocre to poor record that could use all the help we can get. Yes we will share with the wrestling team but we will not share with the video game club. Those nerds are already sponsored by Mountain Dew. I don't know what it is about video games and Mountain Dew but those two are eternally together.

Sincerely,
High school junior, fake, dramatized, Mike Literman.

Hi, Skip Gator here. When diving into the gator pit to get your wrestle on it's very important to be hydrated and to have your daily serving of vitamins. Now many of my competitors do this the old fashioned way with a bottle of water and some multi-vitamins from the drug store. I say, “Who has time for that?” I need to get getting myself psyched up for the rush of the fight. That is why I combine the two and down a bottle of V Blast. They even have formulated a specific blend for me that they call “Gator Pit.” They know my love of all things green includes limes, so they made my drink lemon lime flavored, heavy on the lime. Mrs. Gator says that it smells like a green freeze pop, I can't argue with her. She also says it's way more lime than lemon and tastes like that self same freeze pop if it didn't have a harshness to it. What can I say? My lady knows how to exactly pin point a flavor. Don't get her wrong, she doesn't mean that in a bad way either, it's just the way things are.

The fun in V Blast comes in the fact that the vitamins are stored in the cap and when you open it they are dropped into the liquid below. That helps keep the vitamins fresh for optimal use by the body. It also gives the whole thing a bit of a children's vitamin flavor as well. It's interesting and fun. Oh did I mention the vitamin flavor severely decreases the taste of the sucralose used to sweeten this puppy? Well it does, and for that I'm grateful. You gotta keep in top shape to tangle with a gator and sugar is a big no no in my world.

Welp, the bells a ringing and that means it's time for me to jump into the pit. With the extra boost I got from V Blast this fight will be a cinch.

If you looked at me, you would say, "There is a kid who doesn't work out." I'm not fat, or even flabby, but I'm not terribly in shape. It's not for lack of trying. I ride my bike and have had multiple gym memberships. I just can never find the time. You know what I'm talking about. It's just such a hassle to go to work, come home, eat, change, go to the gym, get sweaty, come home, shower. Whatever. That's nonsense. I'll just eat less so I don't have to deal with that garbage.

I don't understand the whole carb up before or after and sugar now and not then and this is when you add protein and whatever. That whole rigamaroll. For this reason, you don't see me drinking a lot of protein drinks. That's half the reason why. The other half reason is because they can be chalky, tangy, and all sorts of terrible stuff. This drink is trying to not be but still can't shake the crud factory that is it's inevitable adulthood as a protein drink.

Initially you have the promise of something good. You get a good fruit flavor but before you have time to discover what it is your taste buds are quickly rinsed by an over abundance of Stevia. After your mouth recovers from that, it's that familiar taste of protein drinks; the slightly thick, gritty, odd taste. There is also yerba mate as an ingredient, which provides you with a bit of bitterness that might actually salvage some of the good, drinkable flavor that this drink has.

If you are familiar with protein drinks, this may be good. I think that less Stevia might save this drink at least a little bit. You can't win them all. If the guy who works at Subway has taught me anything it's that "no one's battin' 1000."

There are two things that this drink reminds me of. First is the most suburban America restaurant I can think of: Olive Garden. I would like to go on record and say that anywhere that has endless breadsticks, salad and soup is in no way shape of form a fancy restaurant. There is no need to pull out your fanciest clip on tie, and your slightly stained suit coat to take your family out for a meal there; t-shirts and jeans are just fine. Also, it's not gourmet food. It's a crappy chain restaurant that has a fake fancy image to trick the common folk. The one thing it goes have going for it is that they serve peach bellini, which is a nice tasting peach and raspberry iced tea with chunks of peach in it. Now that is something to brag to your friends about, not how large the portions of mediocre pasta are.

To be fair Olive Garden is my only form of reference for peach bellinis. Apparently, it's normally an alcoholic drink that is a mix of peach schnapps and champagne. That sounds horrendous, especially because in the way back time in the early 90's when I actually would drink alcohol I drank way too much peach schnapps and vommed everywhere and it was black and stringy. I couldn't eat anything peach for years.

This is closer to the Olive Garden version than that other unmentionable version. In moderation it tastes like a watered down peach/raspberry tea, but if you add more mix to give it a bit more flavor there is some weird taste floating around beneath the surface. I don't know what it is, but it tastes remotely like plastic. This is to flavor water though, not make a sweet drink, so follow the directions and go light on your squirt and it's a nice treat that has no sugar and no real diet taste.

Oh, and that other thing that each bellini reminds me of? Well, that would be the Kids in the Hall's “Touch Bellini” contest. In fact I'm going to have my own “Touch Bellini” contest. For the next week anyone who sends us an email to thethirstydudes@gmail.com or comments on our Facebook page as to why they should be able to “touch bellini” will be put into the running to receive what is left in this squeeze bottle of drink mix. Kraft sent it to us to review, so we shall pass along our leftovers to you, our twelve readers.

Sometimes you can just cram a couple berries together and make something nice. This isn't always the case. Most fruit and berries are pretty good but sometimes you find something that just sucks up your drink. I feel like, for the most part, you could add grapefruit to anything and it will turn your concoction into the equivalent of a fruit poop. Yeah, if fruit had butts, it would make that. Blackberry, a pretty sacred berry, and blueberry...eh..., come together for an epic collaboration that you will talk about like it was 1992 and you just heard "Nothin' But A 'G' Thang" for the first time. Now, sure, in that case, Snoop and Dr. Dre are both blackberries since they are both awesome and calling either of them blueberries would be insulting to their bodies of work.

This is a pretty great drink, though, all jokes aside. It's diet but does not taste like it and just tastes like a juice. Go ahead. Go to a Snoop Dogg/Lion show and make him a glass of this. He'll love it. He'll (slowly) say that it's sweet, tastes like the fruits that are in it, and probably ask for another glass since, I don't know, I feel like he's eternally thirsty. Dr. Dre is in cahoots with Dr. Pepper so he probably wouldn't drink this for you. That's not a dis, it's just that I don't want you to get shot down. Go with Snoop.

Ps. Kraft sent us this sample. They want us to make sure we say that.

Concentrating and dieting tea sounds like the worst idea to me because I'm such a tea snob that I can't stand anything but either unsweetened tea or pure Southern sweet tea. Everything else is just kind of situational. I drink it for the site but I can't tell you the last time I went to a restaurant and even wanted anything other than unsweetened tea. One primary reason is because sweetened, mass-produced tea typically sucks. No need to beat around the bush. In terms of legitimate quality, it sucks. Every once in a while and completely due to this website, I come across a diamond in the rough that breaks the mold a bit.

This Crystal Light Liquid that Kraft sent us doesn't break the mold but it's a nice middle ground that I'm giving extra credit because it is a diet drink that doesn't taste like diet. It tastes like a watered down, not sharp tasting, Brisk. Basically, it is what Brisk should be instead of the toxic sludge that it is. It's got a decent sweetness that, no, doesn't taste "natural" but isn't offensive. The tea taste is pretty good, too. All-in-all, I would say that this is a success. Diet or not, this is a pretty good tea mix.

I have been sitting here for 10 minutes drinking this white grape tasting energy drink trying to think of clever plays on "Amp" but I'm coming up empty handed. I'm going to blame the Sabres because they're not playing that great right now despite firing their coach. At least this drink tastes decent for an energy drink. Somehow it tastes more like a juice energy drink, despite not containing a drop of real juice. Why can't more diet energy drinks taste this good? It would make diet drinks have a better name.

Root beer is kids beer. Whenever parents are around drinking beer, the kids get root beer. "No, son. You can't have a beer but you can have a root beer." It has the "beer" in the title so they're fine. I think that I would like to meet a person who things that root beer doesn't taste better than beer, though. I mean beer is an acquired taste since it is bitter. Root beer? Sweet, bold, dark, and has fun ingredients that can rival "good" beers. Some have licorice, honey, and vanilla just like their alcoholic cousin "real beer."

One step beyond is this. It's got vanilla like A&W has but this is low calorie version of the regular one that you have grown up to love. It doesn't have a diet taste, which is the best part about it. I mean, if I had the calorie-full one next to the calorie-less one, I could probably tell but who's doing that? Not me, and I consider myself a professional. It's a self-appointed position that involves no perks, benefits, or fancy badges. It's nice to have a diet that doesn't taste gross and with the primary demo being a man, this rules. Men, you're fine. I've done the extensive research of drinking something for you so you don't have to. You're welcome. I do accept paper checks although hot, sweaty cash is better, as long as it's not actually sweaty. I worked in retail and it happens. Women coming in with money in their boobular area and hand it to me to buy belly button rings. Grozz. Please stop doing that, women. It's totally grozz.

Men. We're tough. We don't cry. We wipe our noses with sandpaper. We eat rocks and we eat animals. One thing we don't do is diet. We're fine with our weight and don't have any issues with our shape. Shows like "The Biggest Loser" include "guys" but they are really just holograms. No guy is at the gym, either. Every guy you see at the gym is a woman in a man's suit.

Often we do want to go up and down the stairs without having to stop half way and catch our breath. A diet of chicken wings, hamburgers, and triple thick chocolate milkshakes do not lead to a particularly healthy lifestyle. As I said, guys don't diet, but they do cut back a little. That's where the "Ten" line comes in. Flat gray can and a marketing message do a lot. It's only one step away from black, gray is. If you spend your days chugging fruity pop and need to "cut back," you've got another choice. This would be all well and good if this didn't taste so "diet." Yeah, part of disguising a diet drink as "manly" is to keep it from tasting like a diet drink and reminding these brutes that they are, in fact, on a diet. It's got a good, classic Sunkist orange taste but is promptly washed over by a sea of artificial sweeteners. If you can take your "cutting back" with a grain of salt and have grown to expect a different taste with your diet drinks, you'll be fine, but it just makes this drink feel like a Diet Sunkist rather than some new, rebranded line of beverage.

Men, you're awesome. You're arrogant, tough, aggressive, opinionated, and use hand tools. This drink has been specially tailored for you but it feels like more of an insult than a compliment. It just tastes like a diet drink and doesn't taste tailored.

Here we are again. Dr. B's. I don't taste pomegranate and I don't taste acai. I like pomegranate but I dislike acai so that is a push. The Xylitol is running rambunctious through this drink and overwhelms even the worst flavor (acai) and is too bad because the thought of a pomegranate red tea that is naturally sweetened, low calorie, even with that turd acai is enticing to me. Cut the sugar in half. Xylitol just masks everything with its uber-sweetness and doesn't allow everyone to shine and do their thing.

All the ingredients in here are fine but the levels in which they exist is incorrect. It's as simple as that. Do you want to taste what fruity Xylitol tastes like? Here's your drink.

Deep in the Alaskan wilderness lies a group of people exiled from civilization. They were misunderstood and should have never been banished like they were, in the middle of the night with pitchforks, flaming sticks, and arrows, like modern day Frankenstein monsters. They are occasionally air dropped supplies so that they can live. The people that put them there aren't bad people, just complete idiots because the people that they sent away were the smartest people in each of the towns. When they opened their mouths, genius came out and the townspeople didn't understand or felt threatened. Now there is a small town that is run by geniuses and has things that larger towns don't have like perpetual motion power, no government, friendly robots, fair trade, and a research and development facility that puts the drug companies to shame. Inside this facility they have a type of grape that is indigenous to only there and they dubbed it the "arctic grape." It is a marvel of science that only such smart people could create. Inside and unlike in regular grapes, there are vitamins, minerals, and electrolytes that could only previously be in sugary sports drinks. They use it in a juice that they drink all the time. It's a light purple color and tastes great. It doesn't have and calories so they can all stay as fit as they always were. It tastes a bit between a candy grape and a "real" grape and doesn't taste like a diet drink, which is a nice middle ground for both the adults and children at the town.

There is little to no communication between the people that sent them away and the townspeople so they aren't aware of such technological advances. They like it that way because it's their secret way of getting back at them. They live far better, richer lives among their own kind than with the likes of those dumb dummies.

Who doesn't want to be fit? I'm not saying you have to go the whole nine yards, juice up, and become completely muscle bound, just toned at least. I do. I feel like I used to be due to my incredible metabolism but then the years started catching up to me and I had to be a bit more conscience about what I eat and drink. I've never gone crazy with food, which is why I'm not four hundred pounds, but I could have definitely done better with my food choices in my life.

In order to become more fit, I have taken up bike riding, which I have actually scaled down since having no time to casually ride my bike with a kid. That helped for a little bit. Now it's down to things like eating right since I don't really have time to go to the gym. Either that or I'm lazy and making excuses. If I were to go to the gym, I know that I would traditionally bring Gatorade but with all the other fitness drinks I've had since doing Thirsty Dudes that might not be the go-to anymore. This is another one that should be on your radar. It's diet, yes. It's sweetened with sucralose, but it's not poison like you might think. The flavor is actually pretty light, which you can control with how much you squeeze in to your glass but I followed directions and it was lighter than I expected. It's zero calories, though, and has everything that's going to energize, hydrate, and electrolyte you to get to your target weight. The flavor is that of a berry, whether it be a blueberry, you know, because it's blue, or a black berry or any nondescript berry. It could be raspberry, which it could be in hindsight because of its "blue" color. You know how that is the only blue food that exists in drink form. Whatever flavor it is, it's not bad and with no calories you could drink it all day, in or out of the gym. I've seriously got to think about something fitness related before my body just rejects what little I do to it for payback.